Title: Feelings Never Told
#: Track 21. Small Words
Author: Lucifer Rosemaunt

Fandom: Phantom of the Opera
Pairing(s): Erik/Raoul
Summary: Series of ficlets with songs used as inspiration.
Warning(s): slash
Word Count: 685
Rating: K+

A/N: Happy Three Kings Day, aka. The Twelfth Day of Christmas. This was the deadline I gave myself and now I'm thinking you probably expect all 24 tracks even though the last two were bonus tracks. And now my life sucks because I have to do two extra ficlets – well, it doesn't suck. It's just going to take up more of my night.
Story note: Like seven times. It's a short song in my defense.

o.o.o.o

Gavin Creel - Small Words

All the wrong things that were hurting you
Were all the wrong things that I seem to do
All that you needed, I couldn't show
And although you pleaded, I didn't know it.

"Again?" Christine asked when she entered her dressing room and found Raoul lounging on her divan.

Raoul looked up from the book he'd been reading. "Again?" he parroted.

She sighed, knowing he really didn't know what she was referring to. "The only time you visit me nowadays is when Erik's said something else particularly insensitive."

Shaking his head vehemently, Raoul put down his book and sat up. "That's not true."

"I do not mind." She sat beside him in the space he'd freed. "Well, I would mind a lot less if you were more happy than sad."

Raoul was going to deny her accusation, but wilted under the look she gave him. He settled for saying, "I just need space at times."

She nodded. Leaning against him, she asked suddenly, "Is it worth it?"

The mirror slid open then, the mechanism sounding louder in the silence of Raoul's consideration. Erik emerged from the passageway, eyes fixed on Raoul although it was somehow still obvious that he was glaring at Christine.

"Leave us."

Raoul stood up.

Erik pointed at him to sit back down. "You know I was speaking to Mademoiselle Daae."

"Raoul?" She tugged him back down.

"Thank you, Christine." He smiled at her. "But I will be fine."

She frowned and tossed her hair over her shoulder before standing up to leave. She muttered under her breath, "This is my dressing room."

Once the door shut behind her, Erik locked the door and remained facing away from Raoul for a moment. He eventually spoke, "Well?"

"What now?" Raoul asked, tired of playing these guessing games. He wished people would simply say what they meant instead of assuming he could figure it out only with one word questions. "What did I do wrong now?"

"Is it worth it?"

Raoul slouched slightly. "Oh."

And it was silent. Erik made sure to school his features before turning to face him. After taking a deep breath, he muttered, "I did not mean to call you stupid."

Scoffing, Raoul shrugged. "You said, 'You imbecile. What were you thinking? How is that…?'"

Erik interrupted him before he could finish the rest of that particular tirade. "I do not think you are as stupid as the others," he offered helpfully.

The younger man laughed to himself. "Yes. I know. I wonder why you bother with one so beneath your intelligence, with one so beneath your standards for everything." Raoul stood up then. "If you do not wish me to be around you, then simply say so."

"Your presence is hardly noticeable in my home," Erik struggled to make Raoul understand, "and your voice no longer grates on my nerves."

"Erik," Raoul gestured for him to stop. "You don't need to…"

"You take up surprisingly little space and you can be accommodating at times."

"This constant barrage of criticism," Raoul asked, "is it some passive-aggressive way of undermining my self-confidence?"

"Your self-confidence is not under question. In fact, you are not so much a fop as the rumours have stated. At least, there's a good reason for it, and even though you have money you do not make unsound investments all the time. There is no need not to have confidence in yourself." Erik frowned after saying the words. It always sounded much better in his mind than aloud.

"Or are you really trying to push me away?"

"No." Erik wanted to shut him up just for a moment while he put his thoughts in order. "I am not. I'm telling you. I prefer your company to being alone."

"Oh, that is nice," Raoul retorted sarcastically.

"And, you do not complain as much as I expected nor are you as weak as you seem."

"Really, Erik? I understand. I am a horrible person."

"No. You don't understand."

Raoul went for the door. He would break it down if necessary. He didn't need to be insulted in this manner.

"I love you!" Erik shouted. It came out as though 'love' were an expletive. "I'm trying to say," he said more calmly. "I love you. I've been saying it, but you're a little slow."

o.o.o.o

End ficlet

A/N: Don't forget to R/R (Read and Review)!
Fic Review: Mental image of Raoul just lounging in Christine's dressing room amuses me for some reason. XD And you know Erik was there just watching him. Also, Erik's backhanded compliments are head!canon for me.

There should be more meat in the dialogue, like actions and the like, but I figured seven songs were already pushing it. I had to remind myself that the point of this was to trust one's instincts. Still, it just only brought to light how much I change from first drafts.