Note: Heyy Everyone! I am sorry for taking so long to update but as you all know I had very important exams.. I have now finished highschool! =] I have decided to make this chapter the final chapter, so I hope you aren't too disappointed.. If you review that you want me to continue with this story, then I most-likely will.. But yeah, I would love to hear what you guys think of this chapter. Thanks to all the people who have been reading and reviewing my first story! I hope you all liked it! - Raechel =]

Chapter Twenty-one: Honesty

When I woke up early the next morning, my eyes red and swollen from my endless crying, I decided to clean myself up with a shower. I'll admit I stayed in the shower longer than needed, but I was just stalling. I didn't know if I would be able to face Dimitri again after yesterday, so I made myself a promise.. I wouldn't allow my guardian mask to crack this time. I needed to be a professional about this. 'Don't become attached, Rose' I kept telling myself.. 'He is just a teacher you had once, nothing else.' I was slowly but surely letting go of my feelings for Dimitri, it was a challenge, yes, but a challenge I needed to get through.

After I had dried myself off, gotten dressed and had eaten some breakfast with Liss, I decided to finally make my way over to the clinic. My feet began to drag against the gravel and as soon as I realised, I picked myself up, pulled on my guardian mask and never looked back.

"Good morning Dimitri, how are you feeling today?" I made sure not to look at him directly in the eyes, that would surely make me lose it. Dimitri was a little bemused by how distant I was, but he soon recovered.

"I.. I am fine, thank you Rose. And how are you?" He wasn't going to make this easy on me. He knew me well enough to know that I was just putting on a brave face. He was trying to get a reaction out of me. I was having none of that.

"Very well, actually. I ate breakfast with Lissa and Christian. The oatmeal was quite delicious. Have you eaten this morning?" It was working, the more I pretended I was fine, the easier it was to show other people that I was completely fine, and by other people, I meant Dimitri.

"I don't really have a choice, if I don't eat the doctor practically force feeds me. Rose I.. I'm.. never mind." Dimitri was going to bring yesterday up, I knew it, but I guess he didn't really know what to say.

"So she should be. You were the fool who decided not to eat for two weeks." It was as if Dimitri and I had gone back in time to before we showed our feelings to one another.. the conversation was light and my comic banter wasn't a disappointment. Dimitri smirked at my words but underneath that smirk there was pain. The reason he hadn't eaten for two weeks was because I had left. I wondered what Dimitri would have done if he knew who I was with and what we had done.

The day continued with nothing out of the ordinary. Dimitri didn't try and bring up yesterday in conversation and my guardian mask didn't falter. Any outsider would have thought I was just coming to visit another friend. I sat by Dimitri's bed reading magazines, books, anything I could find really and Dimitri fell in and out of consciousness. Every now and then I heard him mutter my name while sleeping. It hurt but luckily my guardian mask didn't have to be at its full strength while Dimitri was asleep.

As I was walking back to my room I bumped into the last person I wanted to see. Jonathan was surprised to see me but I was not as shocked to see him.

"Rose, what are you doing here?"

"Well, Jonathan, I could ask you the same question. What the hell were you thinking?" Jonathan became confused very quickly.

"Wha.. what are you talking about?" He was not going to get away with the naïve school boy act, not with me.

"You stabbed Dimitri! Are you out of your God damn mind! You could have killed him!" Jonathan suddenly caught on and became furious in an instant.

"So what if I did? The jerk had it coming. And let's not forget that he was the one who attacked me first, I was only defending myself. If I hadn't done what I did, he probably would have killed me! Wait.. Did I miss something? Why are you defending him? He was the one who was married to my sister while he was with you! How can you still be on his side?" As much as I hated to say it, Jonathan had a point. Why was I defending Dimitri? Dimitri was the one who stupidly attacked first and he had hurt me. Jonathan had stopped me right in my tracks.

"Well, I.. You.. ugh.. Okay, so maybe I was wrong, but you still could have killed him. You are both just such idiots!"

"Yeah but the idiot lying in the clinic still gets your love. And what do I get? What does my sister get? Nothing, nothing at all." Jonathan sounded so sincere. I felt so horrible. I almost completely forgot about how this would have effected Jonathan and his sister. How could I be so selfish?

"Jonathan, I.. I'm sorry. I have only been thinking about how this had effected me, I shouldn't have been so selfish."

"Rose.. As much as I hate to say this.. You have nothing to be sorry about. I have resented you for so long because of what Dimitri did to my sister, I guess I never thought you were innocent in all of this. Please accept my apology." This conversation had taken such a dramatic turn I didn't know what to think of it.

"Of course I accept it, Jonathan. I just thought by blaming everything on you, I could forgive Dimitri. I was wrong to think that. Thankyou for being honest with me, but I should go. I have to think about a few things."

So I left Jonathan and went to my room.

Liss, we need to have a sister talk. Come to my room please?

Of course, Rose. I'll be there in about 30 seconds.

Lissa and I stayed up half the night going over every inch of my thoughts. How should I feel towards Dimitri? Should I contact Jonathan's sister and apologise for what has happened? Should I forgive Dimitri? Would I ever be able to trust Dimitri again after this? Should I go back to the clinic tomorrow? Should I talk to Dimitri about how I am feeling? All of these questions were swimming around my head like drunken fish. Not knowing how to act or where to go.

After Liss went to sleep, I was still wide awake. There were so many questions with not one answer. I went over the questions again and again and again until I finally got to sleep.

I had decided that previous night that I was going to go to the clinic again only this time I wasn't taking my guardian mask. I was going to lay everything out on the table, my whole heart, right there for Dimitri to see. I needed him to know just how much I was hurting and what I was thinking, so maybe we could eventually move past this mess.

"Hello Rose, and how are we this morning?" Dimitri expected me to reply with my usual guardian response.. Boy was he in for a shock.

"Dimitri.. We need to talk about things. I want to tell you how I feel and I need you to listen and understand." Dimitri recovered quickly from his shock and that was when his face became very solemn.

"Of course, Rose. I was hoping this would happen eventually. I have a lot of explaining to do."

"No, Dimitri. You need to listen to me first. I have to say this before I change my mind... When I first found out about Savannah, I thought it was some kind of sick joke. And then I asked you, straight out and you lied to me. When I saw the lie in your eyes I thought I was going to die right then and there. You can't even begin to imagine how hurt I was. I trusted you with every part of my mind, body and soul and you threw all of that back in my face. You told me you loved me more then life itself and yet you kept something so devastating a secret from me. How can I ever trust you again? Let alone forgive you. You broke my heart, Dimitri and I don't think I am willing to give it back to you again. I used to think you were a god, you know? That is how everyone at this school saw you – invincible and indestructible. When I first met you I thought you were this cold and hard soldier, just doing your duty to protect Moroi. And then I got to know you, the real you, not the you that everyone else sees. I discovered that you were a sweet and caring marshmallow that would do anything to protect me. I fell in love with that man. And now when I look at you, you are nothing but a cheat and a liar. I wanted to hurt you for what you did to me. I wanted to kick you until you were on the ground crying in pain. I wanted so badly to get back at you. To somehow prove to you that I didn't care about you anymore. But the truth is, I will always care about you, Dimitri. As much as it pains me to say it, I still love you after what you did to me. I just don't trust you anymore. You should know that this morning I contacted Savannah. I told her about you and I and I explained to her how sorry I was. We talked for an hour, half of which was with her screaming at me. She eventually calmed down and we talked more about you. I asked her if she still had feelings for you. I told myself I would leave you alone for good if she had said yes. But then she said no. She told me she had let go of you a long time ago. Then she asked me the same question.. Did I still have feelings for you? I didn't even have to think about the answer. There was no doubting that I did. So what I am here to tell you, Dimitri.. Is that I want to forgive you for what you did, I want to move past this. But I don't know when or even if that will ever happen." It had taken all of twenty-one minutes to get that out, I sat down and waited for Dimitri's response.

"Roza, I... Okay, First of all, I want to say thank you for being so honest with me. And second, I am really happy to hear you say that. I have been torturing myself wondering what you were thinking and how you were feeling. Now I know that I don't have to lose you. You are giving me my life back by just saying that you want to try and work this out. And Roza, I will always love you." I didn't know how Dimitri and I would get past this, but I knew that in by having this conversation, we were taking the first step towards our future together. And I knew that Dimitri and I had a future, because if I hadn't thought we would be together forever, I wouldn't have come back to the clinic that day.