Very sorry for the hold up. Lost Microsoft Word for a bit and couldn't write. Though I did break my record! (Incase anyone is curious.) But sadly I broke my promise. I updated slower than I would have otherwise and for that I am sorry. I said I would update quickly in exchange for 12 reviews. I got 12 reviews yet I didn't uphold my side of the bargain. It's dishonorable and I sincerly apoligize. Please try and understand I was simply a victim of circumstances. I did not intentionally keep you waiting to build up angst or anything of that nature. I thank you for your patience and for your many reviews. I read every one and take them each to heart. I could not have gotten this far without your support.I'm not one for mushy stuff, so I'll just get on with the story I suppose.

"Hurry, damnit! I could drive faster than this!" Freddie barks at the ambulance driver.

"Calm down, Sir. I assure you we're doing our best." Spoke an EMT gentley.

"Calm down? Calm down? My mother's dying not three feet away and you're telling me to fucking calm down? What the hell is wrong with you?" He shouted back at her.

"We're doing the best we can." She repeats.

He looks like he's about to go off on her again, when I decide to step in.

"Freddie. She's right. You need to calm down. You're not helping anyone, when you scream in her face. Now sit down, and let her do her job." I command in a whisper. I try not to be harsh. I could understand why he was reacting like this. I would have done the same thing if I had been present during... I shudder. I'm not going to think about it.

He whrils around and turns his icy glare on me. I brace myself for the anger I know is about to come.

"You...YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BITCH! I take you in, I save your life over and over again, I even covered for you about Bertha! IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME YOU'D BE CRYING ALONE IN SOME FOSTER HOME! AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET? You of all people telling me to calm down! HA! WHAT A JOKE! To think I'd thought I'd get some good karma off letting you live in my house, and my mom is dying not three days later! I THOUGHT GOD WOULD FINALLY CUT ME SOME FUCKING SLACK! SCREW GOD! I HATE GOD! FUCK YOU TOO SAM! I DON'T NEED YOU I HATE YOU,YOU LITTLE SLUT! YOU'RE NOTHING TO ME, THE SAME WAY YOU WERE TO YOUR MOM! MAYBE IF YOU HAD BEEN A BETTER DAUGHTER SHE'D HAVE CARED ENOUGH TO FUCKING LIVE!"

I stare up at him, and my soul seems to sting at his words. He hates me. But I already knew that. It's how he ends his cruel remarks that tares and claws at my emotions. Suddenly his face that I was still looking up at's eyes went wide at it's own tounge's severness. His skin formally flushed with rage, deminished in color until it become stark pale.

"Sam... Wait... you know I didn't mean it. I'm sorry..." Yes you did. You did mean it. You told me nothing I didn't already know you thought. You do hate me. Every word you said was true. Why are you sorry? You're words hurt but you have nothing to regret. You didn't tell me any lies. What hurts me is hearing these words from the lips I dream of kissing... that's what tore me apart inside. Not his oh so true utterances.

"You're crying... I'm so sorry, Sam... I didn't mean it. Really." It's only then that I feel the tears rolling down me cheeks. Why? Why am I weeping? He told me nothing I didn't already know. Stupid tears. Stupid girl. Stupid, useless, sobs.

Some of the EMTS look up at us in confusion. Can't say I blame them.

"Sorry." He repeats. "Listen, I'm just fucking scared, okay? My mom.... my mom isn't exactly in good shape right now. Even thIough I'm scared out of my fucking mind, that doesn't give me an excuse to take it out on you or on the EMTS. I just snapped. Please stop crying."

"Don't be sorry. Everything you said was true. You hate me. I understand. Don't apoligize if you meant it."

I know I'm entering dangerous territory. I'd strived for so long to hide my affections. I was getting close to admiting what I'd sworn I'd never say. I won't say I'm in love with Fredward Benson. Not to him not to anyone. I was about to blurt out everything I'd always concealed with my life, telling him I knew he hated me was so close to saying 'I know you hate me, but I love you.'

He bites his lip and avoids my eyes. He looks everywhere but my eyes, and appears as though he's debating what to say. I took it simply as conformation to my accustion of hatred.

He glances down as he speaks.

"I don't hate you."

My heart flutters, and I curse it becase my brain comprehends what my heart doesn't. He's saying it out of polietness not out of love nor lust. Yet I can't stop my racing pulse for some reason. Like some type of phycsical reaction to the inner desire that his kind words were true. But will my heartbeat went rampid the tears haulted in their tracks.

Freddie finally fallowed the advice that had origonally triggered the toxic sitouation in the first place, and sat down next to me and kept quiet for the rest of the ride to the hospital. Sometimes he'd glance over at me, but most of the time he focused on the EMTS surrounding his mother with a fearfull expression prominient on his face.

"I don't hate you..."

Those would be the words that would linger in my ears tonight before I go to bed.

"I don't hate you..."

The words I would surely repeat to myself in my most optimistic, hopeful moments.

"I don't hate you..."

The words that would haunt my dreams, swirled in with mothers back from the grave, happilly ever afters, and other fantastically impossible things that would leave me empty and dissappointed come morning.

"I don't hate you..."

The words that were absolutly, completly, and irrevociably untrue.