Lying Helpless in Her Arms

Chapter 20 - No Juker

The days never passed so slow for Julian. He was looking forward Thanksgiving to try to stop the heartbreak he was going through.

Brooke never returned his call though later she sent him a text saying she was doing well and that she would be sending the sketches for him to approve early in the next week. While he was happy and even relieved to have news from her he was also hurt by her coldness. Unlike him she never showed any affection or feeling. It seemed more like a work e-mail than a text and for that he wanted nothing more than the company of his family.

His nephews and sisters always cheered him up and he was willing to be comforted once again.

Now in less than twenty-four hours he was flying to North Carolina and he had a plan in his head. He knew Brooke was an avoider. Actually that was one of the first things he learned about her and he knew she felt the same way about him. She was probably doing to him what he did to Taylor and Lauren. Karma is a bitch, he thought.

He knew she was running away and avoiding her feelings and by consequence, him as well. There was nothing he could do about it but maybe he could surprise her in Tree Hill and finally make it to her heart in person.

Truth to be told he hadn't chased her ever since she left. Actually the only attempt he made to talk to her again had been the voice-mail message he left for her a couple of days ago. He knew the more he insisted, the more she would run. He had to take her by surprise, to act quickly and intensely, like a hurricane. Like she had done to his heart.

So he planned to travel to North Carolina and spend some days with his family and go visit her in Tree Hill on Thanksgiving Day. If he knew her well, and he liked to think he did, she wouldn't resist him and his invitation if he stood in front of her, with his trademark grin and his heart in his hands. He had everything rehearsed in his head and he couldn't wait for the moment he'd see her beautiful and surprised face smiling at him. The sweet smile he missed so much. He needed to see her again for his own sanity.

A lot of weird things were happening to him ever since she left. He had called at least three women in the crowded New York streets thinking it was her but when they turned around they proved him wrong. Of course they did. She was hundreds of miles away from him but he couldn't stop the feeling that she was just in the next room.

He had been tempted to ask for her doormen to let him go to her place but he had resisted. First because he knew they wouldn't allow him and second because he could still her smell in his bed sheets. He had been emphatic to the hotel staff. He didn't want his sheets to be changed. Her smell was all he had now but in a few days it would hopefully change and he would have her in his arms again. And for that he couldn't wait.

He was also curious to know how Victoria had reacted to the news of Brooke moving away. While he thought the older brunette could be scaring and probably mean to Brooke, he was also hopeful that being abandoned by her daughter would maybe make her realize that she had been very blessed with a daughter like Brooke. He wanted to see her stern face when Millicent – and poor Millie, he thought – shared the news of Brooke's departure.

He knew how hard it was to have uncaring and judging parents but he wanted Brooke's life to be perfect and for that he wanted Victoria to actually see what she was losing. He was hoping for her to finally show Brooke some love and respect. He wanted to fix everything in the life of the woman he was in love with. He re-wrote her role in the movie, giving her a little bit more of screen time because he wanted her to be happy about it. He knew she didn't need neither wanted it but he wanted to give it to her anyway. Like she said, it wasn't like it would make her any more famous, because it wasn't possible but he also thought she would like a bigger role in the movie.

"May I come in?" asked Kate as she opened his office door slightly.

"Beckie, you don't need to ask" he offered less enthusiastically than he planned to. It was hard to show any genuine enthusiasm with Brooke away from him.

"Thanks JB, actually I came to wish you a nice holiday before I go back to L.A." she said as she entered his office

"Thanks. I am also traveling to spend it with the family" he admitted.

"Where is Brooke? I thought I would meet her at some point this week." she asked missing the cheery brunette she quickly liked.

"She moved back to her city but she will be here full time in January when she will organize the fashion show and also shoot her scenes" he explained and his face lit at the simply mention of the woman he was in love with. He couldn't wait until she was back to his daily routine. He had no idea of how they would be in a month and a half from now but he hoped for the best. He thought that if he was successful in his Thanksgiving mission things would turn out better for the two of them when she was back to New York.

"That's just a shame. So, I guess everything is okay to start shooting in December?"

"Yes. She sent me the sketches earlier today and I already approved them. She told me she would work in the production next week to send us on December 1st."

"She seems to be a great girl, JB and she seems to be good for you" she smiled.

"Brooke is special" was all Julian could say without revealing his feelings.

"I am happy for you JB. You are special too. There are only a few guys like you in the business and I am lucky to have married one of them, the best of them I'd say" she winked and Julian was actually surprised. All the times they got out together, with or without Len, Kate was always very discreet about her personal life and she wasn't one to show her feelings for Len like that.

"Thanks Beckie. Kisses and hugs for Lily and say hello to Len for me" he said hugging his friend.

"Say hi to Brooke for me" she said as they broke apart leaving his office.

Once she was gone his mind was lost in thoughts again. How could he have changed if he hadn't realized it by himself? Maybe he was a bit brooder as Brooke would say but as far as he could say, that was all. What did Kate mean by Brooke being good to him? That she was a special girl that would be good to him or that she was changing him into someone better?

The second option seemed a stretch as though he was friend with Kate's family, they weren't close and she certainly couldn't say that he was actually changing. Maybe she meant Brooke would be good to any guy. And he wanted to be this lucky guy. Maybe Kate didn't know him enough to capture the changes but he knew it wouldn't escape from a couple of girls, especially…

"Surprise!!!" she greeted as she ran from the door towards him jumping in his lap, as she would always do. She hugged him tight and covered his face of kisses in a very Nat fashion. She did the same to Isabella's kids and they were already used to the uncommon greeting.

"Nat, I was just thinking about you" he confessed exultant to see his sister one day before than he expected.

"I thought I'd surprise you and fly with you from here" she added still sat at his lap.

"It sounds perfect to me. I already released the crew, I guess they are all gone by now. I just have to make a few calls and send a couple of e-mails and we can leave" he explained with an unstoppable grin in his face. Nat appraised his face carefully. Yes, he was always happy to meet her or the kids but he never held that stupid foolish smile to them.

"What?" he asked as he saw her looking attentively at him and making some funny faces.

"Nothing. Did you change something? You haircut? Got some tan? You look different" she said still looking at him.

"That's your very way to say I need a new haircut or that I am looking older?" he joked and she just laughed. He loved to listen to her laughs. Nathalie had been through a lot at their house after Isabella moved away, just like him. But he knew she had a good life now and that though she slept with more guys than he could actually count, she was otherwise fine.

"You look great actually. Whatever it is, it definitely flatters you" she said with a childish smile while she messed up this hair.

"I missed you, Nat-Hatty" he confessed using her childhood nickname.

"Ha! I knew it. You met her" Nat said jumping from his lap.

Julian didn't totally understand what she had just said but he could only imagine it had to be related to Brooke. He tried to deny it though "Who?" he asked looking straight to his grinning sister.

"You tell me who. I know what is different. It is the longing look in your eyes. 'I miss you, Nat-Hatty'? You are never like this to me, Julls. With the kids yes, always lovey dovey, but with me? Spill it, did you meet her or not?" she queried.

"Who are you talking about Nat?" he asked the best he could to look and sound like old-good Julian.

"Oh, so you are going to pretend you have no idea of what I am talking about? Come on, Julls. Give me some credit here, I know you for almost twenty-five years. The only time you had this loving look and actually showed any verbal affection to me was when each of the kids were born and correct me if I am wrong but I guess our dearest sister stopped the production, didn't she?" she sarcastically added but all while with a happy smile in her face. Julian more than anyone else she met deserved to be happy.

"I do have no idea of what you are talking about" he denied even though their smiles matched. He would deny but he wouldn't avoid looking at her. Was he looking that foolish? First Kate and now Nat. He probably had a sign in his forehead.

"Okay, let's supposed I believe you. So let me ask you straight. Are you with someone?" she started kinking her eyebrow to him and it reminded him of Brooke again. That was something the two girls did exactly in the same way.

"Come on Julls, at the mention of her your face already lit up" she chuckled appraising his body expressions.

"I am me, Nat, you know I am always single. I still have no idea of who or what you are talking about" he half-lied. He was single, Brooke and he were far from being a couple and he knew it. As much as he was in love with her and believed she felt the same way he was also completely aware that things wouldn't be easy for the two of them to be together.

They were in love but they were still the people they were. She was the avoider and he was the denier. He knew if they ever confessed their feelings it would still take a lot of time for them to actually move to the next step and make their relationship official.

"So she doesn't love you back?" she asked and her smile dropped. Ever since they went to UCLA she knew a lot of women were always going after her brother. Then he started his ritual with them but she had a lot of friends that fell for her brother. He had a way with women and she couldn't believe that the one woman he wanted didn't want him back.

"She does" he confessed letting it slip. Surely he wanted to keep his sister in the dark for a little longer because it was fun to make fun of her but once he realized the words were already out of his mouth.

"I knew I was right" she winked moving back to his lap. Julian had been protective of her ever since they were in kindergarten and ever since then she had been used to sit at his lap. "Tell me everything about her" she excitedly asked as she moved her arm to the back of his neck.

"Her name is Brooklyn and she is perfect" he sappily added.

"Ow. How cute is that? Jully is in love and she is perfect" she mocked laughing loudly.

Julian only chuckled back to his sister mockery. He knew he sounded sappy and lame but he couldn't help how he felt. And sharing it with his sister made him realize how great it was to feel like he felt.

There was a mix of feelings, only good feelings. He was proud of who Brooke was. He felt like she was the most amazing person in the whole world. He thought of her and he actually felt butterflies in his stomach. He could see her beautiful face and think how lucky he was to 'have' someone so beautiful in the outside and even more beautiful in the inside. He wanted to protect, to love, to help, to flatter, to kiss, to touch, to honor her. And this mix of feelings made him feel a better man. It made him feel like a superman. He felt important knowing that one life could depend on him. And all he wanted was to have his girl in his lap now, instead of his sister. He wanted to make her the happiest woman alive and that feeling was fulfilling and amazing.

"Earth to Julian" Nathalie chuckled as her brother zoned out. He looked to her and smiled looking down and she couldn't remember of something so adorable.

"So why aren't you a couple? You love her, she loves you. Are you waiting for my approval? Because you know you are going to need it" she mused.

"It is complicated. It just happened. We met and it was so fast and so intense but none of us wanted a relationship let alone feelings. She moved back to her city this weekend but she is working with me in the movie" he explained.

"Oh my God. Did you meet the She-Julian?" Nathalie laughed and clapped her hands.

"No. Brooke is nothing like me. She is just hurt and afraid, I guess" he shook his head.

"Hmm… High maintenance girl? I am not sure if that's what I had in mind for the first girl you'd ever fall in love" Nathalie pensively added.

"There won't ever a second, Nat. Brooke is the first and last, she is anything but a high maintenance girl" he disagreed "Actually things were never as easy as they were around her"

"Oooohhh, Jully, you are so cute in love" she half-mocked him. She was happy for her brother but she wouldn't lose the chance to scorn him.

"Now, let's stop with the moment of the heart. I have some work to do. Why don't you sit in the chair or walk around?" he suggested.

"What's her full name? Last question" Nathalie asked raising her hand showing him her palm, scout alike.

"Brooklyn Penelope Davis" he answered with a broad smile.

"Let's see what Mr. Google says about Ms. Brooklyn Penelope Davis" Nathalie said as she got her iPhone leading Julian to shake his hand laughing. His sister would never change.

"Oh my God. Jully is dating Clothes over Bros-Brooke Freaking Davis. Oh, wait until Isabella knows it. I don't want to be you, Julls" Nathalie commented as she frenetically typed in her iPhone.

Julian ignored his sister comments and focused in the work he still had to do before he was officially on holiday vacation.

The days with the Scott's had made it even more hurtful for Brooke. They were the picture of perfection, especially when it involved Jamie. The little boy was just adorable. She loved him and having him to spend these days with her made it even more clear to her heart that she indeed wanted to start her own family. She had heard before that motherhood is like a clock and when it says it is time, there is no way to deny it. She couldn't agree more.

Hadn't she met Julian she was probably now taking care of the adoption papers and preparing herself to be a mother in a few months. She would probably be doing some nursery shopping and excitedly picking up names. But she had met Julian and not for one second she regretted it. With only ten days he had proved to be the best thing that had ever happened to her life. And it was terrifying to the brunette.

It was so fast and intense and meaningful that it scared her. In one week she was planning to start her new life with her baby girl and two weeks later she couldn't accept to have this baby without him. She couldn't believe it had happened to her. She knew stories about people that met each other, started a relationship, got engaged and married all in three months. She was skeptical if it was true love or not and honestly she had thought that if she ever fell in love again it would take her months for it to happen.

Julian proved everything she believed wrong and that included the family she was so convinced she was going to start. But she didn't want it anymore. At least not alone. During her delusional daydreams she thought that if she admitted her feelings to him and told him the truth of what was happening to her, he would not only have a relationship with her but he would also agree about the baby. In her dreams, Julian would be the father of all her babies and the first one would be born in no longer than nine months. The way he looked to his nephews and the way his face lit when he talked about him were mesmerizing. She wanted her babies to have that and she knew he had a soft spot for kids in his heart. Actually she felt like his own heart was as soft as a child's heart.

But she knew Julian wasn't this guy. While he indeed had the golden heart and loved his nephews more than anyone she had ever met, he also kept his heart to himself and his family. He had confessed to be in love with her but if he had any plans to make something of his developing love he would have called her during this week. Maybe he would even have asked her to do not move.

She shouldn't have fallen in love with him. He had been crystal clear to her. He wasn't in this for the long haul. Actually he wasn't in this at all. Surely he had also said he wouldn't develop any feelings to her but these they couldn't control. He was probably avoiding her to forget his feelings and she should just do the same. Except that she couldn' had tried to take the charming man out of her head and especially out of her heart but the more she tried the more she fell for him. He was perfect to her. He would be the perfect dad to their kids and the perfect husband to her, just like Naley family. But she didn't stand a chance with Julian and it broke her heart because he would be just perfect.

"Why are you crying Aunt Brooke?" Jamie asked concerned as he entered her bedroom.

"It is nothing, Jimmy-Jam" she plastered a fake smile in her face.

"Mom and dad think you are sad. I heard them talking that you are crying and depressed. We are worried Aunt Brooke"

"Don't worry, sweetie. Aunt Brooke is just sad because she really wants something but she can't have it. You know when you ask your mother to do something and she doesn't allow you to do?" she softly asked.

"Like go alone to the toy store when we are the mall?" he innocently asked.

"Exactly. Aunt Brooke wants something but she can't have it, so she is sad because she wants it really bad" Brooke confessed and her eyes got tearing again.

"But why can't you have it?" he queried as he sat in the bed with her.

"Because it is not available. It is impossible" she heartbroken admitted.

"Mom always says nothing is impossible if we have faith. Do you have faith, Aunt Brooke?"

"Not in this, J-Luke" she looked away. Jamie was so smart and well raised by his parents. It was just a living reminder of what she was losing with Julian.

"But we need to have faith in everything my mom says. She says that if we have faith and if we do everything right we will get it. Just like Christmas gifts" he added smiling.

"Christmas gifts huh?" she faked another smile, rubbing his head.

"Yes. I believe Santa Claus will give me a Wii because I was a good boy this year to mommy and daddy. See? Faith and hard work" he concluded nodding his head and Brooke couldn't control herself but hug him messing up his hair.

"You are a gem, James Lucas Scott" Brooke said wondering how innocent and smart the little boy was.

"So Aunt Brooke, why don't you ask to Santa? I know you are a good girl, because my mom always says you have the biggest heart of the whole world. If you want I can ask him" he offered

"But don't you have only one gift from Santa?"

"My dad can buy me a Wii in my birthday. What do you want me to ask to Santa Claus, Aunt Brooke?" he suggested with his sweet eyes.

"I want to have my family, like you, your mom and your dad" Brooke confessed. In moments of vulnerability she couldn't resist the innocence of the little boy that she knew that loved her almost as if she was his own mother.

"Cool. I will have a cousin!!!" Jamie shouted as he jumped from the bed and ran out of the bedroom leaving a smiling-tearing Brooke behind him. She wanted it badly and she wished it was something Santa could bring.

Actually she had more faith in Santa than in having Julian because even if she opened up to him about her feelings and he actually corresponded to them, she still had to tell him the truth. She had to confess she lied to him all these days and she knew he wouldn't forgive her. Simply because she couldn't forgive her, even if it was an honest mistake.

There would be no Christmas gift to Brooke and honestly she couldn't imagine of something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving.

AN: I don't know if I need to explain why Brooke and Julian react so different to this whole situation, but I'll do it just in case it is not clear. They both avoided feelings but for total different reasons. Julian didn't believe in love because it was unfamiliar to him. He is not afraid of love he just disbelieved it until he met her. Brooke on the other hand had a bad experience and she was acting out of fear. Julian is out of his element here and that makes him a bit afraid of the whole situation. He is afraid because he doesn't know how to act, how to react, what to do. He doesn't know what to do with the love he has for Brooke especially because he knows Brooke doesn't want it. Brooke is afraid because of her past and also because of her present. She is lying to him, a big lie and she doesn't know how to get out of this lie and she is sure he won't forgive her for lying to him.

Now you guys were great to me again!!!! Thanks to lily, Sab, Kayla, Elilo, Artemi, Syrine, MaryOTH, sb1218, SouthernBellBrooke and Y0uNMcK33. You guys always make my day and I hope you keep doing it ;)

I'll update Saturday or Sunday again. This week was hectic I am sorry I took a couple more of days to actually update it.

Talk to you soon,

Barbara