Chapter 20
Disclaimer: - Don't really own any of the characters; except for the sexy Jacob in my head. He belongs exclusively to me! So, hands off ladies! :P
Now, I know it has been far, far too long since I updated this story, even longer than I said it would be… and I really want to apologize for the delay. For numerous reasons, which I don't want get into right now, I wasn't able to get this out as quickly as I'd wanted to. But, I'd like to reassure everyone that I am now back to writing and hopefully, there won't be any more unprecedented delays. I sincerely hope you guys haven't given up on me and will still continue to show your love and support like you have in the past.
I would also like to apologize for being a lazy ass and not replying to any of your reviews for the last chapter like I usually do. But, I want you to know that I've read each and every one of them… several times, in fact, and really appreciate the time you guys took to share your opinions with me. I will be back to answering all of your reviews individually this chapter onwards. So, direct any questions/comments/suggestions you have my way and I'll be sure to reply to you as soon as possible.
Once again, thank you all for your patience.
This chapter is dedicated to some of the best friends I've made on FF - Erin, Ashley, Cheryl and Wendy.
Also, mschenke… this one's for you. Hope this brings you that little bit of happiness you were hoping for.
And now, without further ado… let's go on to the chapter…
BPOV
It was a week since the break-in at Jake's office. A week since the brutal murders of Jake's colleagues… A week since the nightmare involving the scary ass-psychotic-delusional vamp…
A week in which there hadn't been much in the way of further developments… no further scares, no nightmares and definitely nothing in the way of information regarding the break-ups and the murders despite the fact the Jake had activated all of his – what I had come to discover were – considerable resources in an effort to get to the bottom of the whole situation.
Don't get me wrong, I was intensely grateful that the nightmares had stopped. And I was in no hurry for them to start again either, but I was beginning to feel rather frustrated at the total lack of information. I was almost beginning to feel like it'd all been just a dream after all, no more. The only thing that was making me feel uneasy was the fact that I'd never been that lucky in life as yet. I was, to all extents and purposes a danger magnet…
So, basically, life had currently turned into a waiting game. We were waiting for some kind of concrete leads, some breaks in the case and barring that, at least some minor bits of information regarding who or what was responsible for the horrific events.
Besides this uncertainty surrounding us, we were also still waiting for the arrival of the Cullen's who were expected on the scene any moment now. The delay in their arrival was caused by the fact that they were making some unscheduled stops so that they could tap their own resources for information along the way.
I knew all of this… but that still didn't make the wait any easier. The whole situation was frustrating to say the least. Every day, we kept expecting the worst. Every night, I was terrified to close my eyes for fear of a surprise appearance from the aforementioned psychotic vamp. Lisa or Alice had taken to sleeping near me just so I could get some semblance of rest… Meanwhile Alice was still blind.
The overwhelming tension we were all under was finally starting to get to us – tempers were running high and everyone's threshold of patience was running dangerously low. Finally, when Sam had snapped and yelled at Emily tonight over something as trivial as their car running low on gas, it'd been a final straw and we'd decided that all of us needed a break from the situation.
It being a Friday night all of us had piled into our respective cars and driven over to Port Angeles for a night of relaxation and fun.
Seth's suggestion had led us to the Pack's favorite hangout spot; a place where there was plenty of liquor, loud music and dancing – in other words, the perfect recipe for forgetting unwanted situations. He'd suggested it as a sort of relief from all the stress we'd been under recently waiting for their resources to kick in with the required information regarding my nighttime visitor.
The only objective of the evening was to have fun and to get systematically hammered which everyone; at this moment; was trying their level best to do. God, it felt good. I could actually feel the tension in my body begin to seep away.
"Okay, so lemme get this straight. You're trying to tell us that your ex-husband is a vampire?!?" Dylan, whispered theatrically, tossing back another round of whiskey. He was apparently still having problems getting over my announcement. And oh God, I'd apparently driven him to drink because he was already totally sloshed!
He'd had the toughest time accepting and believing the news. It'd taken Alice and Jasper's demonstration of strength and speed and Embry's demonstration of accelerated healing to finally have him give in and accept the truth.
Lisa, while shocked, was handling the news much better than Dylan was. But then, she'd always been the more open minded of the two. And she'd always been the church going, bible reading, God fearing one. Apparently, being a believer in God, made one more open to the existence of 'demons' too…
"So, like, a real, live…uh… I mean, dead, I guess… honest to goodness, vampire…? Like a blood-sucking fiend? As in, like, 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' vampire…? With the fangs and the distorted features and the no soul and the indiscriminate killing and the aversion to fire, wooden stakes and crosses …?" He continued with his interrogation.
I nodded mutely, wincing internally at his colorful description. It wasn't accurate of course, but now wasn't the time to get all technical…
"And Jacob and the rest of the guys are werewolves?!?"
Another nod and a resigned sigh… I knew exactly where this was going. We'd had this same conversation a couple of days ago. But Dylan, being as drunk as he was right now, didn't remember it – the idiot! So I was going to have to go through the agony of it all over again…
"And they protect the humans from the vampires by killing the vampires?"
"Uh huh…"
"Wow… that makes them like Buffy! Brilliant! Bloody brilliant!!" He sounded completely awestruck.
I couldn't help but burst out laughing. One look at the guys revealed a bunch of sour faces. Apparently they weren't happy about the fact that they were being compared to a girl, no matter how badass she was. I couldn't help chuckling some more.
"And you knew about it? Even before you married 'Edward', you knew?"
I nodded once again, gaining some control over my amusement.
"And you married him anyway?" Now his voice was filled with total disbelief.
Once again, all I could do was nod but there was a definite sinking feeling in my stomach now.
'Uh oh… here it comes…' I braced myself for the inevitable.
"Holy mother of… What the hell were you thinking Bella?" He questioned hotly. "Are you totally out of your freaking mind? God, I need another drink!" He announced and then, "She's totally insane, isn't she?" He questioned Lisa resignedly.
"Well, yeah…" was Lisa's immediate, matter of fact response.
"Hey!" I exclaimed.
Lisa quirked her eyebrow questioningly, a comical expression on her face, "Oh you don't agree with us, do you?"
I couldn't bring myself to argue with her. Besides, there wouldn't be any point in doing so. They were both too far gone to remember any of this tomorrow. "Okay fine…" I gave in, reluctantly, "maybe I am a little insane. But I still resent you guys saying so in my presence!" I said defensively.
"Alrighty, that actually makes sense. Alright then, next time, Dylan, make sure she isn't around before calling her cuckoo, okay?" She dead panned.
"HEY! Come on, you guys, that's enough. Alright, fine… I made a mistake, okay? But that doesn't make me crazy. You weren't there. You didn't know the circumstances…"
"Oh, you're right about that… we weren't there." She suddenly sounded scarily sober. "But, God, I cannot imagine any circumstance in which it makes sense to marry an undead monster and want to give up your life for him… I'm sorry Bella, I just don't get it. God, you were eighteen, Bella! You had the rest of your life ahead of you. What the hell were you thinking?" She suddenly looked a little ashamed of her behavior. "Sorry, didn't mean to get all preach-y. As I was saying previously, you might've very well had your reasons for behaving the way you did but I don't think I'll ever understand them…"
I could see the entire pack discreetly nodding their heads in agreement with Dylan and Lisa's assessment and concluded that they were shamelessly eavesdropping on the conversation.
"Fine! You know what…? You and Jake could form a 'Bella's an idiot' club!" I muttered in irritation.
"Hey, wow, you know, that's not a bad idea at all!" Lisa exclaimed gleefully. "Oh Jaaaake…" She called out loudly.
"What…? No!!" I was horrified at her enthusiasm. How could I have been stupid enough to bring this on myself? "God, I definitely need another drink too… Dylan, why don't you go and refresh all of our orders…" I desperately tried to break up the current conversation; changing the subject in hopes that they would be too drunk to remember and continue this conversation later.
"Uh, sure… How about you, Lee? Want a refill?" Lisa tossed back her drink and nodded. "Emily, Kim, Leah…?" All three of them had been silent spectators to the conversation although I could sense from their expressions and the not so subtle smiles on their faces that they too were in total agreement with everything Lisa and Dylan had said so far. Wow, what a shocker, huh…?
Once he had everyone's orders, Dylan stumbled off to get us the refills.
"Okay so, thank God that the doofus is finally gone." Lisa exclaimed as soon as Dylan was out of earshot, grinning idiotically. "I've been waiting to get you alone for ages but that idiot is somehow always around. I've been dying to ask – and please feel free to give me an honest answer here; in fact, I insist that you do – how in the world could you choose Edward over Jacob?!? My God, just look at him Bella. He's like a Greek God!"
Oh my God, this conversation was in no way better than the previous one!!
"He's easily the hottest thing to ever walk on two legs, don't you agree? I mean, how could you ever resist him? How could you spend even two seconds wrapped in the arms of that hot, hunky, drool-worthy specimen of the opposite sex and then let him go?!?" Lisa gave me a look of intense disbelief. "Can I just ask you…What the hell is wrong with you? Have you totally lost your mind or something? Did your Mom drop you on the head when you were a baby and that somehow resulted in deadening all your senses including sight, sound, smell and touch?!?" Indignation rang through in every word that she uttered. "That's it, isn't it? That's the only possible, feasible explanation. I mean, look… just look…at him! God, talk about animal magnetism, talk about raw sex appeal… he's a freaking God! For heaven's sake, he looks like he's just built for fucking. Not to mention the fact that he's completely crazy about you. You really must've been blind. How else could you have that within reach and not have that…?" She actually made air quotation marks "… if you catch my drift…" Everyone could catch her drift, I was sure of it.
Meanwhile, 'I' was cringing with every word that came out of her mouth, dying with intense embarrassment… "Lisa!" Oh jeez… everyone single one of them could hear her, especially Jacob; the laughing smirk he threw over his shoulder at me was proof enough. The mischievously raised eyebrow just cinched the deal. I wanted to sink through the floor.
She calmly took in my horrified expression and went on as if there was nothing wrong. "What, tell me you haven't ever thought of just licking up every inch of that delectable body…? Or touching him in all those naughty, forbidden places…?" She giggled madly. "Come on, admit it… you know you want to…"
I couldn't help peeking discreetly at the pack and glumly took in the fact that they all seemed to be enjoying the current topic of conversation immensely. In fact, most of them were in stitches over Lisa's comments and the others… well, they were preening like proud peacocks – almost as if they were the ones being complimented instead of Jake.
'Figures.'
"I mean, I wouldn't mind having any one of those gorgeous hunks looking at me the way Jake looks at you. Not to mention the electricity that just snaps and sizzles in the room between you guys whenever he's around. It's so intense… God… I'm dying of sexual frustration here, I tell you! If I were you, I'd have jumped his bones ages ago; just saying, you know!" Lisa went on and on; sighing dreamily.
'Oh – My – God! I was never going to live this one down… never! I was going to be tortured and tormented and teased about this when I was freaking eighty years old! Good Lord!!'
"See, right there," She pointed between me and Jacob, who was trying his best to send me a smoldering look while trying desperately to hold on to his composure "…that's unresolved sexual tension right there, if I've ever seen it. Don't you agree, girls?" She asked Emily, Kim and Leah wickedly. "I feel like it's my duty as Bella's friend to do something to put her out of her misery and I've got a brilliant plan to accomplish that goal if I do say so myself. I say we lock Bella and Jake in a room somewhere and keep them locked till they give in and have their wild, wicked way with each other!!" She sounded entirely too gleeful for my peace of mind.
I closed my eyes miserably and proceeded to slowly and repeatedly bang my head on the tabletop, hoping for a quick death and barring that, at least a concussion resulting in total amnesia.
"What say, huh, guys? Are you with me on this? Come on, it's a brilliant idea, you know it is… Lock Bella up! Lock Bella up!!" She cheered triumphantly. "…With Jake…" She added somewhat drunkenly.
"Shhhhh…" I shushed her frantically to no avail. "Lock Bella up with Jake…" She went on unabashedly, ignoring my frantic signals for her to keep quiet.
Emily and Kim gave me sympathetic smiles, all the while trying to control their apparent mirth at the situation. Leah meanwhile, who had no such qualms just sniggered in amusement. I shot her a hot glare before clasping my hand firmly over Lisa's mouth in a desperate attempt to muffle her cheers.
"Wha…?!?" Lisa garbled and rolled her eyes at me. "Alright fine, but God, you're paranoid! He can't hear me for heaven's sake! We're all the way in this corner and the whole place is overflowing with people and the music is loud enough for my ear drums to burst. He might be a 'super-hero' but his hearing can't be that good, right? That'd make him superman and that would be beyond ridiculous!!"
'Oh, you still have no idea, do you?'
The look in my eyes must've given Lisa some sort of indication because her eyes got as wide as saucers. "No way!! Really…? Wow!!"
The expression on her face clearly indicated that in her opinion Jake's cool factor had suddenly shot up even higher.
The girls barely managed to stifle a chuckle. I gave them a stern look trying to get them to behave.
"Ladies, here are your drinks." Thankfully, before Lisa could embarrass me even further, Dylan came over carrying a huge tray laden with tall glasses of multicolored liquids. I was so glad to see him, I could've gladly kissed him for being my knight in shining armor. "Izzy, here's your Cosmopolitan. Lee… your Cilantro Mojito. Emily, your red – cabernet; sorry they didn't have a good merlot. Leah… your vodka lime. And Kim, here's your Gin Tonic." He plopped down on the empty stool and gulped his whiskey like it was water before exhaling noisily.
"What took you so long?" I whined. 'I almost died of embarrassment while you were gone!' "We were all waiting for ages for our drinks over here."
"Ah, it's quite literally a jungle out there." He slurred slightly. "I almost got run over by a couple of dumb jocks on my way over. And then, I had to get away from several prowling puma's…" He winked wickedly, "…who were determined to have their wild way with me. And I did it all for you gals. I couldn't very well leave you high and dry now, could I?" He sighed melodramatically. "I mean, really, the things I do for you, Izzy… And all you do is complain? No appreciation, I tell you. There's no rest for the wicked…" He pouted mischievously.
"Awww… come here sweetie. I'm sorry I yelled at you." I pulled him closer for a hug. "You're absolutely right. I don't appreciate you enough." I gave him loud, smacking kisses on both his cheeks. "My hero…" I deliberately blinked my eyes at him adoringly, simpering foolishly and trying to hold back my smile with difficulty.
"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, that's more like it…" He ate up the attention and took full advantage of my closeness by wrapping both his arms around me tightly and hugging me close. "I'm glad you're finally beginning to realize my importance. Took you long enough though…" He replied cockily.
"Dude, this has got to stop!" An achingly familiar voice spoke laughingly beyond my shoulder. "Why is it that every time I turn around, I find you with your hands all over my girl?" Jake asked mock angrily.
'My girl'… what a wonderful ring that had to it…
Dylan pulled me even closer in response to Jake's teasing. "That's because 'your girl' has the secret hot's for me, man. She can't resist me. In fact, I have it on good authority that she's just looking for ways and means to get her hands all over me all the time. Isn't that right babe?" Dylan asked me lasciviously, teasing Jake mercilessly.
Thankfully, things between Jake and Dylan had improved drastically since I'd clarified my relationship with Dylan to Jake. Once I'd convinced Jake that Dylan had no secret designs on me, Jake's attitude towards him had mellowed considerably.
And as far as Dylan's attitude towards Jake was concerned, finding out about Jake's secret identity had miraculously taken care of that. I secretly thought that the drastic change in Dylan's attitude was to do with the fact that he now had irrevocable proof that Jake could easily beat the living daylight out of him if he even so much as stepped out of line but hey, who was I to complain, right? After all, I'd gotten exactly what I wanted. And it was amazing how much impact the fear of being beaten black and blue had on one's behavior, really. Now Dylan went out of his way to ensure that he stayed on Jake's good side – well, as much as he could actually while still teasing him endlessly. Nonetheless, they'd come close to something resembling a tentative friendship in the days that followed since the disclosure.
"Is that right?" Jake asked him pseudo seriously before turning his attention to me. "Bells, what do you have to say about that? Is Dylan right? Cuz' if he is, it's not really nice to juggle around, you know. You'll be hurting both of our feelings by doing so. You've got to choose, babe…" He added playfully. Then he leaned closer, lowering his voice to whisper in my ear softly, "Maybe I would be better off dedicating my time and effort to pursuing Lisa rather than you. From what I've heard so far, she seems to find me pretty damn irresistible, wouldn't you agree?"
I wanted to hit him for even thinking something like that. I wanted to kiss him senseless just to prove to the world that he belonged to me.
'Well, make up your mind Bella. You can't do both. Kiss him… yeah…that would definitely be the better option…'
The knowing look in his eyes… the heat pooled there… let me know that he was very much aware of the direction of my thoughts.
"Jay-Jay!" an obnoxious voice squealed before I could actually follow through on my thoughts. I had trouble calibrating my thought process from giddy happiness to outright disgust but the moment I spotted Sammy, I had no trouble getting there.
'What the hell…? What is she doing here…? Dammit, I was just about beginning to enjoy my evening but now, it's pretty much screwed!'
Other than a brief glance acknowledging her presence, Jake's gaze was still fixed on me. "Hey, Sammy!" he responded, not sounding too happy with the interruption either; which took care of some of my irritation. That was before she practically pushed me out of the way to throw her arms around him and place a smacking kiss on his lips though.
Then I just wanted to tear her apart limb to limb.
What made it worse was that he didn't even flinch at her actions. He just waited patiently… as if she'd done this loads of times before and he'd learned to tolerate it.
I thought I hated her before but it was nothing compared to what I was feeling now.
The moment she released him, I feel like pulling him into my arms and telling her to keep her hands off him. Of course, I couldn't do anything of the sort.
"Alright there, Sammy?" he questioned her indulgently.
"Oh my God, Jay, where've you been? I haven't seen you in ages. I've missed you!" She pouted prettily. "Haven't you missed me? Why haven't you come to see me? You haven't come to the office in ages!!" She batted her eyelids at him flirtatiously.
I glared at her through eyes that were narrowed to slits. 'She was still clinging to him, dammit! That's it, I was going to have to kill her!'
Before I could unsheathe my claws, Jake gently disentangled her arms from around his neck and gave her a distracted albeit indulgent smile that only succeeded in making me feel sicker. "Not now, Sammy. I don't have time for this right now. We'll do the pouting and the getting upset and the cheering up bit some other time, okay?" He might as well have patted her on the head like she was an obedient child.
She seemed disappointed but tried valiantly to collect herself. "Well then, can we at least dance? You know I love this song…" There was a slight edge of desperation to her voice that apparently only I could sense.
"I can't, sweetie." He informed her regretfully. "I was just about to ask Bella to dance with me. I'm sure Quil or Seth will be happy to dance with you though. Do you want me to let them know?" He asked solicitously.
The smile fell right off her face. I could see that she was blinking back tears but trying desperately to hide them from him. "Nah… don't worry about it. I'm a big girl; I'll go and ask them myself." That's when I came to the realization that Jake was pretty much oblivious to Sammy's feelings for him. She was in love him; that part was pretty clear to me but he apparently had no clue about it. I almost felt sorry for her… almost.
I could see that she was clearly embarrassed about the way she'd just been unceremoniously dismissed… especially since it was in my presence.
I gave her a tentative smile and she shot me a venomous glare before stomping away; hips swaying enticingly.
'Ouch! Well what else did you expect, Bella? You and your stupid bleeding heart, you had to go and feel sorry for her, didn't you? Well… go on then, suffer! It's exactly what you deserve…'
"Dance with me…" Jake demanded huskily before I could comment about the exchange. I noticed that he hadn't taken his eyes off me during the whole Sammy scenario. "I seem to remember you promising me one of those…" He didn't bother waiting for my response; he just took the glass out of my unresisting fingers with one hand, his other holding onto me and leading me insistently towards the dance floor. His expressive eyes were telling me all the while just what he'd like to do to me if we weren't surrounded by so many people.
I took the opportunity of being temporarily alone with him to question him regarding his cluelessness. "Why do you encourage her?"
"Who?" he asked, seeming totally confused.
"Sammy!" I answered impatiently, almost smacking him when he continued to appear as lost as ever. "Why do you encourage Sammy's behavior; her feelings, when it's obvious that you don't return them?"
"Huh…? What feelings…?"
"She loves you, you moron! No, wait… let me be even clearer. She's head over heels in love with you. She desperately wants you to notice her, to spend time with her, to want her, to love her…" He appeared aghast at this revelation.
I rolled my eyes in exasperation. 'Menl!'
"Your behavior towards her; the way you tend to let her hug you all the time and the way you let her touch you and hold on to you gives her hope that someday you will return her feelings towards you." Now he seemed flat-out horrified. "You've got to stop giving her false hope Jake. Just break her heart once and for all, instead of doing so again and again…"
"Oh Shit!" He swore succinctly.
"Oh shit is right…" I patted him encouragingly. "Don't worry; I'm sure you'll figure out some way to handle the situation without hurting her too badly in the process."
"Fuck! Fuck!! Are you absolutely certain that she likes me?" I nodded seriously. "But she's just a kid!"
I rolled my eyes at his total obliviousness. "She's not that young, Jake. She's twenty. We both know that's old enough to have romantic feelings for someone…" I reminded him gently, thinking back to myself at that age. Heck, I'd been married and divorced all before I reached that landmark! "Besides, I think any girl between the age of thirteen and one-thirty would be insane not to have a crush on you!" I muttered to myself, knowing very well that I was just inflating his already huge ego by saying so.
He gave me a slight smirk looking very much like he'd desperately love to comment on that statement but his distress over the whole Sammy situation seemed to win out over his smartass side. "Shit, how could I've not known about this? How could I've been this blind?"
"Uh… Cause you're a guy…? Duh!" I told him matter-of-factly.
"Hey!" He sounded mildly affronted but let it go immediately. "Well, how about we just make out in front of her…? Will that take care of the problem?"
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"No…? Alright then, how about we introduce you as my girlfriend?"
"Jake…" I murmured warningly.
"Fine, how about this then…? We'll just announce our engagement." He spoke triumphantly as if he'd just discovered a perfect solution to his problems.
"We will do nothing of the sort." I denied emphatically. "You're going to have to do this the old fashioned way, by talking to her and telling her that you don't feel the same way for her as she does for you." My tone indicated that there would be no further discussion about this topic.
"Dammit, I'm no good at these types of confrontations!" He announced. "And I'm especially going to hate breaking Sammy's heart. She's such a nice, sweet girl…"
"Well… try, please!" I couldn't keep the annoyance out of my voice. "Unless, of course, you don't actually mind that she feels that way about you…"
"Come on, Bella, how can you even say that?" I just gave him a pointed glare in response.
He ran his fingers through his hair exasperatedly. "Alright, fine, I'll deal with her later… much later." He sounded more than a little panicked at the prospect. "But for the time being, can we forget about her and just enjoy this dance?" He pleaded softly. "I've finally succeeded in getting you in my arms; I don't want to spend this time talking about some other woman, do you? Can we just focus on you and me; here in this moment?"
I hadn't been happy talking about it either. I'd just wanted to get the topic out in the open so that it could be dealt with appropriately. Now that it was kinda taken care of though, I was more than ready to leave it behind me and just bask in the pleasure of Jake's company. "Gladly…" I sighed. "So, now that Sammy's out, what else do you wanna talk about?" I enquired teasingly.
He shook his head as if he were switching mental gears. "Umm… How about, that's some dress you're wearing…?" He spoke languidly; running his eyes up and down my body appreciatively.
Just like that, he managed to make me forget the last 15 minutes of my life completely. 'Sammy…? Sammy who…?' I felt his gaze on me like it was a physical touch and flushed all over.
"Umm… thank you…" I mumbled self consciously.
'Thank you Alice… I guess you were right. As usual. He does love it…'
"Promise me one thing…" He spoke roughly pulling me so close to his body that there wasn't even an inch of space left between us.
"Anything…" I agreed helplessly. His proximity scrambled my mind. I was caught in his gaze, drowning in it. I would've promised him anything he'd asked for at that moment.
"Promise me you won't dance with anybody else but me… especially no one from the pack…"
"Okaaay…? I promise…" I agreed even though I was more than a little confused by his request. I didn't know what had gotten into him all of a sudden. After all, I had danced with all of his friends loads of times before this evening and he hadn't seemed to mind it so much on those occasions… at least he hadn't minded enough to prevent me from doing so… Oh well…
Then I noticed that his gaze was directed at my cleavage, his eyes glazed over with passion and I realized that the straps of my dress had slipped slightly off my shoulders, causing the neckline to dip dangerously low. This combined with his height gave him the advantage of being able to see right down the neckline of my dress.
"Oh…" Suddenly the meaning behind his request became blindingly clear. I blushed uncontrollably and tried to pry myself out of his arms so that I could yank the offending garment back into place. He refused to let me go; his hold on me just tightening till I was locked in place by his arms with nowhere to go and nowhere to look except for our feet.
"Look at me Bella…" He insisted firmly. I was helpless to resist the quiet command in his voice. The moment my eyes locked onto his, I was trapped in his gaze…drowning in the maelstrom of emotions visible there.
"You never have to hide from me, you know that right?" He questioned firmly. All I could do was nod in response. "Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are right now?" Again all I could do was shake my head. "God, Bella, ever since I saw you tonight, all I've been able to think of is putting my hands on you, like this…" His hands on my waist tightened and I sucked in an involuntary breath, my gaze snapping to his, pupils dilated with lust. "…touching you, like this…" His hands encased my ribcage from both sides, spanning my waist and back, his thumbs coming to rest just below my breasts where they ran back and forth wreaking havoc with my breath. "…kissing you…" 'Like this'… the unspoken sentiment was clearly reflected in his eyes as he lowered his head, inch by slow torturous inch, his gaze fixed on my lips. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips the moment his lips touched mine. As soon as my mouth opened beneath his, his tongue flicked my lips and tangled with mine hungrily; stealing what little breath I had left in me.
I couldn't help myself, I acted instinctively; pushing myself even closer to him and participating in the kiss wholeheartedly. My mouth moved over his desperately, my tongue explored every inch of his mouth and my teeth sank roughly into his irresistibly succulent lower lip.
'Damn, how had I lived without Jacob Black's kisses for so long in my life…? They were downright addictive!'
He pulled away breathlessly, rested his forehead against mine and groaned out loud. "You're going to be the death of me, I swear…" he whispered harshly before his mouth dropped to mine in another rough, no holds barred kiss that spoke of barely restrained passion. My heart thumped against my chest loudly as my arms travelled of their own accord, trying to wrap themselves around his neck. Before I could achieve my goal however, he abruptly pulled away. I groaned aloud in frustration before I could stop myself.
"Uh, uh, uh, uh…" He gave me a naughty smirk and a wag of his finger – an honest to goodness wag, as if I was some sort of an unruly child! UGH! Then he dropped a conciliatory kiss on my forehead and continued dancing as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened just then. My frustration level, which was already quite high to begin with, shot through the roof. God, he was driving me crazy and he was more than aware of it. I decided right then and there that I needed to wreak some havoc of my own.
Thankfully, the next number that came on was a slow one presenting me with an opportunity to up the ante. The moment he pulled me close, I stepped into him fully, making sure that I was close enough that we would brush up against each other with each movement. Then, I curled into him and laid my head against his chest making sure that I was close enough so that he'd be able to feel every breath I took against his torso – all of it executed very innocently and flawlessly, of course. His body went taut with awareness; his arms involuntarily pulled me closer.
I was glad that he couldn't see the satisfied smirk on my face.
Oh yeah, that'd teach him to play with me…
Determined to continue my mission, I softly nuzzled the expanse of skin exposed by his button down shirt with my nose, placing my lips firmly against it. He shuddered involuntarily; his body tightening in response to the silent invitation of my own.
I realized I was enjoying myself immensely…
I gently nipped the exposed flesh of his well defined pectorals with my teeth. His skin had a tangy-salty taste that was incredibly tempting and I couldn't help lapping my tongue against him a couple of times to try and savor it.
That action was more than enough to break through his tenuous control. He growled low in his throat before pulling my face towards him and kissing me with a savage intensity that left my head reeling and my pulse racing. His tongue penetrated my mouth, battling with my own for dominance. His teeth nipped at my lips almost bruising in their force. His hands roamed desperately over my back and sides before coming to rest on my lower back. I could feel every inch of his hardened length against me as he placed a firm hand on the curve of my hips and thrust his leg insistently between mine; locking us together intimately. I gasped audibly, my body coming blazingly alive.
"Let's get out of here…" he spoke urgently. "I can't wait another second to have you naked under me…"
I gulped nervously, unable to form a coherent response. The bravado I'd been feeling just a couple of minutes ago deserted me completely leaving me feeling more than a little panicky. My legs felt as if they'd been frozen in place.
'What the hell is wrong with you? You want this as badly as he does. So why the hell are you panicking now?'
He seemed to know exactly what I was thinking. His eyes blazed into mine. "I've waited forever for you, Bella. Don't make me wait any longer…" he demanded authoritatively. I looked at him in shock not knowing how to respond to that commanding tone. But the slight vulnerability I saw in his eyes put my mind to rest.
He wanted this too… badly.
My inhibitions melted away in a rush of warmth. Instead of replying verbally to his plea, I just stood on my tiptoes and brushed my lips against his softly before taking his hands in mine and executing a quick turn towards the door.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw a silent exchange take place between Jake, Embry and Quil. The very next instant they were both by our side. Jake spoke to them quietly, "Bella and I are leaving now. Take care of things here. And unless there's a national emergency or a crisis of epic proportions, I don't want to be disturbed, is that clear?" They nodded silently but I could see the knowing grins on their faces. I braced myself for a round of endless questions and good natured ribbing that; amazingly enough; never happened.
'Well, well… this is a first. The pack… Quil… willingly relinquishing an opportunity to make me blush…? What is wrong with this picture here…?'
In fact, I could feel everyone's interested gazes following us as we made our way towards the exit but surprisingly – and thankfully, for my peace of mind – no one made any effort to stop us.
I concluded that this was a hidden benefit of being with the alpha. If he wanted his brothers to keep their mouths shut, they kept their mouths shut, no matter how much they yearned to do otherwise.
The moment we reached the parking lot, Jake turned me towards him and lifted my chin with his fingers till I was looking into his eyes. The intensity in them gave me a moment's pause. "If you're having second thoughts about taking this step with me, now is the time to mention them. Once we sit in that car, that's it. There's no turning back. I won't be able to pull back and I won't allow you to either. This is it, Bella – the moment of truth. So, be sure you want this… be absolutely sure. I won't ask you again."
I gave him a tiny, nervous grin in response. "No, no second thoughts. We're doing this." I rose up on the tip of my toes and took a teasing bite of his incredible bottom lip. "Take me to bed, Jake…"
I could feel the effect my words and my actions had on his body which, impossible as it seemed, only hardened further. "Your place or mine…?" He asked me gruffly.
"Wherever, I don't really care…" Coherent thought was almost out of the realm of possibility at this moment. "…How about the garage…?"
Jake chuckled softly. "Some other time, maybe. This time, I'd like a bed, privacy and no interruptions for at least the next twenty hours…"
My heart slammed out of control. "My place then…" I breathed out. "It's empty. Renee's at the hospital with Charlie…"
He nodded jerkily and pulled open the door to his car quickly, making sure I was seated before leaning down to place a hard kiss against my lips. He didn't wait for me to respond; shutting the door quickly and making his way over to the driver's side… leaving me reeling from the passion behind the kiss. The harsh expression on his face softened into a smile as he took in my dazed expression prompting him to lean over and caress my cheek briefly. He straightened back, muttered "Hang tight, Bells", and peeled out of the parking lot swiftly.
The silence between us was heavy with unspoken feelings and meaningful glances as the distance flew by.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to keep my eyes off him. I could feel my fingers itching with the urge to touch him… I tried to distract myself by watching the scenery flashing by but my gaze kept coming back to Jake time and again. In my defense, who'd want to look at some random bit of scenery when the finest specimen of manhood in the entire world was sitting right next to you?
"Stop that!" He chided me gently, bringing me out of my trance.
"What?" I asked in confusion, trying to figure out what he was talking about.
"Stop looking at me like that unless you want me to find a place to pull over right now", he spoke huskily.
"Maybe I do…" I muttered brazenly.
He gave me a smoldering look out of the corner of his eyes. "Don't tempt me." He warned softly; pulling me closer and pressing a quick kiss on my lips without taking his eyes off the road. "We can't be arrested by Charlie's deputies, remember?" Humor glinted in his eyes.
"Coward! Spoilsport!" I teased him laughingly.
"Hey!" He pretended to be offended. "I'm not scared. I'm just trying to think about your father here. He's just now getting better; we wouldn't want to hamper his progress now, would we?" He gave me a roguish wink before turning his attention back to the road.
Despite his warning for me to behave myself, he apparently had no intention of doing so himself. This was made amply clear to me when I felt his warm hand on my knee. With his eyes fixed firmly on the road ahead, he allowed his hand to run freely up and down my leg; from my knee to the apex of my thighs; eliciting hot shivers throughout my body.
His talented fingers played around with the hem of my dress, making me yearn for his touch on my bare skin but never fulfilling the yearning. He knew exactly what he was doing to me; the hooded look in his eyes burned through to my most intimate place, making me hotter, wetter… I squirmed in my seat, hoping for some kind of relief from the torture.
With only a touch and a glance, this man had the power to reduce me to a blubbering mass of need. I was such a goner.
By the time we reached Forks, I was wound into a tight coil of yearning and desire; almost gasping with the need to have him touch me without restraint.
I barely registered opening the door of the car and stumbling towards the house but the next thing I knew the door to the house was open; we were somehow both inside and I was being pushed against the foyer wall and kissed fervently; with all the pent up passion that he was feeling. "I want you Bella…" Jake groaned insistently. "I want you so much. I've wanted you for so long…"
He cupped my bottom… pulling me tight against his rigid arousal.
"God, Jake… just touch me already!" I was ready to beg if I had to.
Thankfully, he seemed to know my exact state of mind. One of his hands ran down my thigh urging it to curl upwards and around his waist while his other worked its way up my thigh and towards my moist center leaving blazing trails of heat in its wake. I held my breath in anticipation as he got closer and closer to the one place where I most craved his touch.
As his fingers slid past the elastic of my panties and into me; we both uttered unintelligible sounds of pleasure.
"Oh, Jake…" I gasped incoherently, trying to process the feeling of having him touching me so intimately, so sensuously.
"So wet, so hot, so tight…" He groaned, dropping his head into the nook of my neck in a gesture of total surrender. He was panting heavily and the hot breath against my neck was causing uncontrollable shudders to run through me.
His fingers thrust into me in a slow, torturous rhythm; taking me right to the brink of insanity. His hot mouth closed around my breast, sucking my nipple greedily though my dress.
"Oh God, oh God, oh God…!" I mumbled incoherently. Just when I thought I was going to lose my mind completely, he added his thumb to the mix, flicking my clit expertly.
"Jake!" I gasped and shuddered as the world exploded in a bright burst of color. His arms were all that held me upright and I clung to him as my legs gave out from under me. He held me tenderly, patiently treating me as if I was made of spun glass; dropping tiny kisses all over my face.
As I slowly came back to my senses I decided that I didn't want to wait any longer. "Upstairs. Bed. Now!" I did a bit of ordering around of my own while trying to disentangle myself so I could lead him to my bedroom.
"No! Wrap your legs around me." He commanded harshly, picking me up off the ground and urging me to wrap my legs around his waist.
I obeyed the command in his voice blindly.
Our new position caused our bodies to rub against each other in new and enticing ways. His hardness rubbed against the very core of me causing newer pin pricks of pleasure to run through my body.
He carried me effortlessly up the stairs, stopping intermittently to press me up against the wall and press dizzying kisses all over every inch of exposed skin that he could find.
I'd lost all power of speech. All I could do was hold on to him desperately and gasp or hiss in pleasure.
I didn't even realize we'd reached my bedroom till he tossed me down gently on the bed. He placed his hands on either side of my head and slowly lowered his body till he was laying over me… every delicious part of him touching every part of me. And that's all he did… he just lay over me; hugging me and breathing me in. It was heaven. It was hell…
Impatience got the best of me. I wrestled around until my hands were free from under him and edged them under his shirt and ran them all over his back, caressing his warm, smooth skin urgently.
My actions seemed to galvanize him. Suddenly he was everywhere. His hands slid over my shoulder, long fingers curving over my nape, his thumb stroking my collarbone while his other hand slid around my waist, pulling me closer. Then his fingers moved down my back to the zipper of my dress lowering it agonizingly slowly.
As the bodice of my dress came loose, I was overcome by a sudden, overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. After all, I'd only done this with one other man; Edward; and look where that'd gotten me – I'd gone from being happily married and pregnant to being childless and divorced in what had seemed like the blink of an eye. What if I sucked at this? What if I was a huge disappointment? What if I was too inexperienced for his liking? What if Jake hated being with me?
My hands came up of their own violation to hold the dress in place. I raised panic stricken eyes to his patient, knowing ones. "I… ah… I'm not very good at this…" I whispered hesitantly.
His gaze softened as he tugged the straps of my dress down my arms insistently. His eyelids drifted down, his gaze shifting to my lace covered breasts. "Aren't you…?" He asked huskily.
Without waiting for my reply he lowered his head to mine in a kiss of blind need. When his parted lips moved insistently against my own, I consciously made a decision to stop over thinking the situation and go with the flow. With that in mind, I welcomed the suggestive invasion of his tongue and returned it; making him gasp and clench me even tighter to his body.
His hands skimmed down my sides and around my back unhooking my bra in the process. As soon as my breasts sprang free he directed all of his attention towards them, cupping and squeezing one of them; while his lips captured the other enveloping it in his warmth. His hand pinched my nipples; playing with it, brushing his thumb over it while his talented tongue flicked the other; suckling it hungrily.
My entire body arched off the bed. I was barely aware of sobbing his name out loud. I just knew that I never wanted him to stop what he was doing. But he did. I must've made some sound of protest because a muffled, hoarse laugh escaped him. "Shh… I know exactly how you feel but we're far from done yet, Bells. Don't worry, there's a lot more to come…"
He reached for the pins in my hair pulling them out and freeing it till it tumbled in wild disarray all around me. His hands grabbed handfuls of it, his fingers running through the length repeatedly. "Did I mention that I love the way your hair is all wild and untamed now? I've been dreaming about seeing it spread out gloriously on my pillow. Since my pillow is currently unavailable, I'll make do with yours for the time being." He informed me hoarsely.
Then he turned his attention to the only remaining article of clothing I had on – my panties. His fingers toyed with the lace while his eyes asked for permission to take them off. I gulped in nervousness before nodding. He wasted no time in whisking them off leaving me completely exposed to his gaze. I held my breath and waited for his reaction.
"God..." Jake breathed. He stared at me seemingly awestruck. "Do you have any idea how perfect you are, Bella? How beautiful, how responsive, how exciting…?" He whispered in a shaken, hoarse voice. I blushed; secretly pleased that he found me physically pleasing.
Suddenly feeling far more confident that I had a few minutes ago, I dropped my eyes to his still clothed body. "You're way too overdressed for the occasion, Mr. Black." I teased him playfully, tugging at his shirt. "We need to rectify the situation immediately, don't you think?" I began to pull his buttons off frantically. I became even more impatient when his fingers joined me in my quest. "Hurry" I insisted helping him to get rid of his clothes in record time till he was standing before me in all his glory.
I took one look at him and gasped. If he'd thought I was beautiful then there were no words invented to describe how he looked. He was perfection personified.
I knew I was staring but couldn't seem to help it. Jacob Black; naked; was a sight to behold.
I reverently reached out a hand to touch his engorged length, wrapping my hand around him; running my thumb over the pearl of moisture glistening on the head of his length. His tortured groan brought my gaze back to his passion filled eyes.
The expression in them electrified me; filled me with longing. "Now Jake… now!" I urged him impatiently tugging him closer to me.
"Wait… wait…I have to…" he fumbled around for his jeans, withdrawing a small foil packet from the pocket before looking at me and giving me a faint smile.
"You… uh… don't have to… at least not for my sake…" I explained shyly. "I've been on the pill since the whole Edward fiasco and uh… I haven't really been with anyone since then, you know, physically… so uh… I'm clean…" I knew I was blushing, I just knew it.
His expression went from disbelief to bemusement to shock. "What're you saying Bella? That I'm your first after Edward…?" he asked in a stunned voice.
"Yes…" I whispered almost shamefully.
There was absolute silence for the next few minutes. My heart sank. With a lot of trepidation, I made myself look at him, wanting to gauge his reaction. What I saw in his eyes made my breath catch in my throat. Mixed with the disbelief and the shock was something akin to wonder, to adoration, to… dare I say… love…?
Before I could respond or even say anything, I was lying flat on my back; his mouth was fused to mine, parting my lips; his thigh was wedged between mine, parting my thighs and his tongue was tangling with mine, alternately withdrawing and plunging deep. Bracing his hands on either side of me he moved partially on top of me. I could feel the tip of his penis probing at my moist entrance.
"Look at me Bella. I need to see your eyes." He ordered me hoarsely.
The moment I looked into his scorching brown eyes, Jake pushed his throbbing length into me.
"Oooohhh… Ju-ake…" The feeling of having him inside of me was just… indescribable.
He was panting through his mouth; a look of utmost concentration on his face. "So good… you feel so fucking good, Bella." He held himself utterly still, his eyes closed, his body trembling slightly.
I impatiently moved my body a little, thrusting towards him; pulling him deeper into me. He froze, his eyes clenched shut. "Hold still Bella." He voice sounded strained. "Don't move even an inch unless you want this to be over immediately. Gimme a couple of minutes, please, honey…"
A few moments later, he seemed to be a little more in control of himself. He opened his eyes and looked at me with bemused tenderness in his eyes. "I should've known you'd make me feel this way… as if the world were ending and beginning all at the same time. I should've known it'd be this way with you." He sounded more than a little amazed now… and just a tad bit fearful. "I should've known… but somehow I didn't. I should've been more prepared for this but somehow I'm not." There was a wealth of meaning behind his words.
Unexpected tears stung my eyes. "I… ah… this… is kinda beyond my expectations too. It's never been this way with anyone before."
His expression darkened a little. "But…" he began questioningly and I knew… instinctively I knew what he was going to say. "It's never been like this, Jake." I interrupted him. He seemed a bit doubtful. "Trust me! No one has ever made me feel this way… no one…"
That seemed to shatter his self control. He plunged inside me, penetrating me to the hilt. I gasped out in shock and pleasure. He pulled back out and drove in again… and again, his strokes almost violently hard and fast and deep. It felt as if he was trying to possess me, brand me… it felt like he was trying to own me, body and soul.
He succeeded spectacularly; driving me to the same heights of passion and lust that he, himself was on.
Kissing him with passionate abandon, I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist and moved with him, matching him stroke for ruthless stroke, until we both hurtled over the edge and into blinding, soul-searing ecstasy.
For a moment afterwards, he was still, lying on top of me, his weight pushing me down on the mattress, his body damp and hot, his breathing labored. Then he shifted onto the side, rolling me along with him and pulling me into his side till I was pressed into him and my head was resting on his shoulder.
"You okay?" He panted.
"Ummm… never better…" I answered languorously.
"God Bella…" he breathed, almost reverently after we'd both got our breath back. " That was…" He paused, seemingly at a loss for words.
"Brilliant…" I finished for him shyly, unable to look into his eyes.
He huffed out a laugh. "Brilliant will do, I suppose…"
There were a few moments of contemplative silence. Then, "So, I think your friend Lisa will be pretty pleased with us, huh?" Jake questioned laughingly. "What say we go tell her that we finally did the deed?" He pressed an absent kiss on my bare shoulder.
I swatted at him half-heartedly. "Don't you dare, Jacob Black!" I mock threatened.
"Or else what, Isabella Swan…?" He questioned teasingly, trying to fight a yawn. "What're you going to do, hit me again? Have you forgotten what happened when you tried that the last time?"
"Oh, I haven't forgotten, don't worry. Besides, I've grown up, in case you haven't noticed yet."
He opened his eyes to leer at my bare breasts salaciously. "Oh I've noticed…"
I rolled my eyes. Men… they had such a one track mind. I swatted him again.
"Anyway… now that I've grown up, I don't need to hit you to get back at you."
"No…?" he sounded amused. "How else do you intend to get back at me?" He looked like a Cheshire cat, smilingly slightly; his very pose reflecting his satisfaction and contentment. One of his hands was curled behind his head while his other was running up and down my back lazily leaving goosebumps in its wake.
I decided that he was way too smug for his own good. He definitely needed a shock treatment… a wakeup call so to speak. "Oh, I dunno, I might just sic Sammy at you… you know, tell her that you're extremely eager to talk to her; hint that you want to discuss her 'feelings' and then withdraw tactfully and leave you to handle the fallout…" I intoned solemnly.
His reaction was comical. He froze instantly. "You wouldn't!" He sounded horrified.
I couldn't hold on to my serious expression any longer and I burst out in chuckles. "Gotcha!"
"You witch…! I'll get you back for that, I swear!" He warned threateningly, turning around and mock-glaring at me.
"Yeah, yeah… whatever. If I were you, I'd go with less talk and more action, Black…" I mocked him some more.
"Is that right?" He questioned his voice suddenly going husky with renewed desire. Without any warning and with all the agility of a panther he rolled over on top of me and plunged his newly hardened member inside me. I couldn't help but let out a shocked gasp at the unexpected invasion.
"Is that 'action' enough for you, Miss Swan?" He asked teasingly, rotating his hips firmly.
"Oh, oh… God… yes…don't stop…" All I was capable of was incoherent mumbling.
"Hmmm… I'm getting the impression that you're more than satisfied with my 'actions' here…" Jake continued with his teasing thrusts, driving me more than a little crazy with his leisurely pace.
"Christ… Stop teasing, will you?" I yelled out.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk… such impatience, Miss Swan… hasn't anyone ever told you that all good things come to those who wait?"
"Screw waiting…" I was mindless, beyond caring and certainly beyond shyness. "I need you, right now!" I demanded fiercely, clenching my inner muscles tightly around him hoping to prove my point while sweeping my tongue down his neck.
He froze in place as if he'd been electrified. "Jesus…" he murmured reverently. Then he began to thrust into me frenziedly, abandoning all pretense of control.
He made sure that I came first; shuddering and screaming out his name. Only then did he let himself go, burying his mouth in my neck to muffle his cries of pleasure.
We both fell asleep in an instant; wrapped tightly in each other's arms; satisfied and worn out from our pleasurable activities.
The next thing I knew, it was morning and Jake wasn't in bed with me and there was some talk of breakfast in bed.
I snuggled deeper into the covers, shivering uncontrollably; there was a cold draft in the room.
I grumbled sleepily feeling disgruntled and made up my mind to yell at Jake the moment I saw him for leaving me alone and with an open window apparently…
A few moments later, there was a loud crashing noise followed by a few thuds. "Ugh! I knew I shouldn't have allowed Jake anywhere near the kitchen!" I grumbled to myself determined to enjoy my beauty sleep some more. "What's going on, Jake?" I called out loudly. "Is everything alright? I told you to not bother with breakfast, didn't I? Now how about you just come back to bed, huh? I'll make it worth your while, I promise…" I called out in what I hoped was an enticing voice.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jake's low, threatening growl was the first indication I had that everything wasn't as it should be.
I shot up in bed and looked around blearily pulling the covers closer to my body in an effort to ward off the chill. It took a couple of minutes for my eyes to adjust to the early morning light but when they did, the sight that greeted me was more than enough to make the last vestiges of sleep disappear.
I blinked my eyes a couple of times hoping to put an end to the hallucination but unfortunately, the outcome remained the same.
The familiar pain slashed through me leaving me feeling wounded and raw even after all these years. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach and couldn't get my breath back.
Of course, I'd known he was on his way back but somehow… naively… I'd thought I'd have some kind of a warning, an indication, some time to mentally prepare myself before I'd have to see him face to face. I'd somehow never expected to see him here… in my room again after all these years…
It reminded me too much of old times. The sense of déjà vu was astonishing and crippling.
"Edward…?" I gasped disbelievingly. "What are you doing here?"
So…? Was that worth the wait? Did I make up for my disappearing act? Am I forgiven? (Bites nails nervously…)Please let me know. Don't leave me hanging here people… It's been too long and I'm more than a little nervous here. Let me know that I haven't lost it… :P Leave loads and loads of reviews…
Once again, thank you to my brilliant, amazing, hardworking beta's Ashley and Cheryl. Thank you so much for your help and support ladies. Couldn't have done this without you.
And last but not least, thank you to my lemon consultant, Erin. Lady, you're a goddess! Thank you for all your support and encouragement and of course, for putting up with my insecurities. You're the bestest!
Anyway, gimme my reviews people! I'm suffering from review withdrawal and need my fix, right now!