(Hello all! Thanks for your kind reviews and for reading! I apologize for forgetting to mention that EOC was the Executioner of Calais. He has an actual name in this chapter, but I'll just keep using EOC as the abbreviation for him. If you would like me to change it at all, just let me know! Also, I hope you like what I put in about Katherine and Arthur, katherineofaragonfan! Don't worry about Arthur, there's hope in his future! So, enough of my rambling! Hope you enjoy! )
EOC-I'm so misunderstood….
Me-I can see why Mr….erm…EXECUTIONER OF CALAIS!
EOC-It's Timothy if you please madam
Me-Okay Timothy.
AB-I got beheaded by a man named TIMOTHY?
HT8-I think it's a lovely name!
EOC-(*Looks at Anne*)-Do you have a problem with my name milady?
AT-Careful Anne. He might chop up your head again if you make him angry!
HT8-Go ahead and do that Lord Timothy, you have my utmost permission!
AB-(*ignores Henry*)I'm sorry…Monsieur Timothy…if I was judgmental
KOA-Not very French
AT-Glad I wasn't the only who noticed! (*Smiles at Katherine*)
EOC-My father always liked being different…
Me-Is that why he was an executioner?
EOC-How on earth did you?
Me-I kinda..guessed it was a family business?
HT8-Do not worry Timothy. I, too, am in a family business!
AT-I'd say our dynastic business is a tad bit more glamorous Hen!
HT8-Being a king is not always glamorous brother.
AB-It's definitely not glamorous being married to one!
HT8-I can imagine not! All those jewels, gowns, and courtiers flattering you with APPLES when you mention you're craving them!
AB-AT LEAST APPLES ARE EASY TO GET! UNLIKE QUAIL!
EOC-Are they always like this?
KOA,AT, Me-Yes!
AT-Hell hath no fury like a woman beheaded!
KOA-Or a woman deprived of true love…
AT-Kit-kat
KOA-I never did get to see her…
AT-HER?
KOA-Mary. My daughter. The one I loved above all else. Who did you think I was talking about?
AT-*Blushes*-Never mind midear.
EOC-I had a daughter. Beautiful, and kind. She even assisted me when I needed to prepare for any…e…
AB-It's alright. You can say the "e" word.
HT8-What's the "e" word Sir Timothy?
AT-(*Smirks evilly*) Do not be so cruel as to condemn Sir Timothy say the dreaded "e" word Henry! You might…what might he condemn him to Anne?
AB-To eternal damnation! AND
HT8- (*Stares blankly*) My conscience has always been clear.
KOA-HA!(*Scoffs*) Really now Hen…
AB-Marriage to me!
HT8-AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Why on earth would you say eternal damnation AND being married to you? Being married to you IS eternal damnation! For God's sake Sir Timothy, don't say the "e" word! You don't want to be married to her!
AB-That's two more times you've admitted to being married to me.
Me-(*Trying to avoid a brawl*)-UM! NEW TOPIC TIME!
WS-What light beyond that window breaks? For it is the east!
Me-And Juliet is the sun!
HT8-Oh look it's that Stakespeare fellow Bessy told me about.
WS-IT'S SHAKESPEARE!
AB-Please forgive Henry. He often has food on his mind.
AT-And he's always thinking of ways to annoy Nan!
HT8-I DO NOT!
KOA-Don't worry Henry it's cute! You two are like….
WS-RON AND HERMIONE!
Me-You like Harry Potter too?
WS-It is thy only piece of writing that is comparable to mine! FORSOOTH! FOR I, AM THEE BIGGEST HARRY POTTER FAN!
HT8-Stakespeare! Nobody talks like that anymore!
KOA-They say "Yo yo wassap homey? Your writing is off the heezy!"
Me-My ears must be deceiving me ….did Katharine of Aragon just do a really funny gangsta impression?
AT-Kat's always been in touch with the times. *Smiles lovingly*
WS-Methinks the lad is in love with the-OOMPH!
AT-We'll just keep that quiet eh Stakespeare?
WS-But WHY lad?
AT-I lost my love…TO A LAWYER!!!
EOC-Ooh…you are slightly screwed.
AT-Thanks Timothy. That's great solace, coming from an executioner.
EOC-De rien! But you know, I wasn't just an executioner. I was an AUTHOR!
AB-Really now…
EOC-It's called After The Ax:Why Executioners Should Be Given A Second Chance!
Me-Didn't you use a sword?
AB-What a pleasant title….I'll erm….read it.
EOC-It would be my honor madam.
WS-Huzzah! A friendship struck from an unlikely…erm…bond! This would make a great tale…where be my quill?
Me-Here. You might like this. *Hands Shakespeare a pencil*
WS-What would this be?
KOA-It's a pencil! You can actually get rid of your mistakes when you're writing!
WS-PREPOSTOROUS!
Me-Why don't you give it a try? I'm sure you'll find it's up to scratch!
AT-Nice pun.
WS-Alright….*Writes a sentence* Oh posh! I've made a mistake! What ever shall thyself do?*Tries to erase the sentence with the point of the pencil, not the eraser*
KOA-No dear, you do it with the pink part see?
WS-Oh prithee, I thought that was where they held thy ink!
HT8-It's okay. I made the same mistake.
AB-My condolences.
Me-Well you may not be able to use a pencil Shakespeare, but you sure are a great writer! As long as you erm…have a translator.
WS-What on earth do you mean milady?You speak English, do you not?
Me-Well….I speak American English….You speak….Ye Olde English….Some…no , correction, MOST, of your work is rather hard to understand sometimes….but it's okay when an English teacher explains it!
WS-Teacher?
Me-Yeah! We read some of your works in school, and they're often used as school plays, AND there's movies and broadway plays and tv shows based off your writing!
WS-I thought West Side Story looked awfully familiar!
HT8-Oh good God look what you've done. I can see his ego growing by the second!
AB-Oh my, I think the hypocrisy in this room is growing by the millisecond!
AT-Perhaps…we need more love in the room…
WS-ATTA BOY!
Me-You're getting the hang of American English already! I'm so proud!
AT-KAT!
KOA-Yes midear?
AT-I H…HA…HAVE SOMETHING I WISH TO SAY ONCE AND FOR ALL!
KOA-Go on Arthur. You know whatever you have to say is always important to me.*Smiles*
(A distinct voice is heard calling in the background)-OH KIT KAT!
KOA-THAT MUST BE TEDDY BEAR!*Runs to Thomas More, and they embrace. Arthur's jaw drops in disappointment*
EOC-*Pulls a sword out from nowhere*-I could make a slash here or there for you Arthur.
AT-Thank you Timothy, but that won't be necessary. I erm…appreciate the thought. I wouldn't want a…DECENT…fellow beheaded a second time.
*Katherine and Thomas rejoin the group*
KOA-I'm so sorry Artie. What did you want to say?
AT-Eh….DO YOU LIKE SOY SAUCE?
WS-A tragic, love-depriveth prince looks on while his beloved former wife embraceth another. Where will this story departeth? Into the deep ranks of despair? Or perhaps to
Me-A good lunch! Come Arthur, let's get you some udon noodles!
AT-Can I get extra tofu?
AB-Of course.
*Anne and I walk off with Arthur in hand. Thomas and Katherine are whispering sweet nothings to each other. Shakespeare and Timothy are comparing writing techiniques. Henry looks around*
HT8-Hey! Waitt for meee! I wanteth KUNG PAO CHICKEN!
EOC-Some chop suey for me please!
TBC
Till next time!
(So sorry I took so long to update!)