Updating FAST b/c the big day is this Saturday!! So I'm trying to squeeze in as many chapters as possible before then :) Enjoy! Thanks to those that reviewed, I love hearing from ya'll!
DETROIT
The past week had been hell for Chris. He had been pulling double duty caring for Ajay all the while hiding the fact that she had sunk into a depression from their son and their friends. He sent Joey to stay with Petey and Bailey most days telling them Ajay was sick and it upset Joey to see her like that.
Ajay was inconsolable. She was so upset that Aiden had left her and hadn't returned her calls. Her abandonment issues plagued her. There was nothing he could do to lift her spirits. She would toss and turn at night, getting barely any sleep at all. Then throughout the day she would be curled up in a ball watching movies or sleeping. She cried on several occasions, more than Chris had seen her cry before. She just could not cope with the sudden absence of her best friend. She was blaming herself for Aiden's leaving thinking that if she would have some how been a better friend to her she would have changed. Chris made sure she ate and held her when she cried and cared for their son, it was all he could do to rectify the situation.
The saying misery loves company completely applied to Ajay and Alex. He had come over every day and they would just sit together in silence. Alex was just as bad if not worse than Ajay. Chris tried talking to him on several occasions but Alex only responded with, "How would you feel if Ajay left while she was pregnant and it was your fault?"
Chris finally stopped asking. He couldn't admit it but he was worried about Aiden and missed her too.
The day had pretty much been like all the rest. Ajay tossed and turned and woke up screaming from a nightmare then stayed up crying for an hour or so before falling back asleep. Then she had trudged back downstairs to sit in her chair and stare at the TV. Chris was stretched out on the couch dozing off since he had stayed up last night comforting Ajay.
Chris groaned when he heard the doorbell ring, "I thought you said Alex wasn't coming over today?"
Ajay didn't respond. Chris got off the couch and went to the door. His mouth hung open in shock when he saw Aiden standing on the doorstep. She had on a deep crimson sweater dress that fell above her knees with patterned tights and black stiletto ankle boots on. Her black trench coat blew in the cold breeze.
"Wha…what?" Chris stammered.
"Can I come in?" she asked softly.
He nodded dumbly, fumbling with her luggage as he continued to gape at her.
"Sorry I didn't call first. I kind of just made the decision." She smiled.
Chris closed the door and pulled her into a hug. He let her go and took her hand to pull her into the living room.
"Ajay, look who's here." Chris called excitedly as they both came around the corner.
"COOKIE!" Ajay screamed hauling herself out of the chair.
She hugged her sideways tightly.
"Ajay, don't cry." Aiden smiled as she began welling up too.
Ajay would not let her go, she just continued to hold her as she let go of her emotions. Aiden rubbed her back as she cried on her shoulder. Finally Ajay let her go and took the tissue Chris handed her.
"Cookie, you got pregnant!" Ajay gushed wiping her eyes.
Aiden looked down at her protruding stomach and laughed, "Yeah, I guess I did."
"You look so much better now." Ajay smiled as they sat down on the couch, "You look so pretty."
"Thank you. I'm sorry I didn't call you back, I just had to deal with everything before I could decide what I was going to do."
Ajay kept staring at Aiden, "You look so tan too."
Aiden looked a little confused by Ajay's clinginess.
Chris caught her look, "Babe, why don't you go and get those clothes for the baby that you wanted to show her?"
Ajay smiled, "Doesn't she look better Chris? We missed you so much, Alex too. He's been coming over and moping around with me.
Chris nodded, "Go get those clothes so you can show Aiden."
Ajay got up, "I'll be right back."
"I've never seen her like that." Aiden said.
Chris smiled apologetically, "I don't think you knew this but Ajay's parents abandoned her when she was a baby. It kind of messed her up, that's why she doesn't open up very easily to people. She tries not to get attached to people so that she won't get her feelings hurt when they leave."
Aiden was crestfallen, "I didn't call her or anything, no wonder she's all upset."
"You didn't know, she'll be fine now that you're back. You aren't leaving again are you?" he asked.
"No, well just to go home, but I'll stay here for a little while." She said.
"Yeah, wild horses wouldn't be able to drag you out of here right now." He smiled, "You do look a lot better, you've gained some weight, which is a good thing."
Aiden sighed, "Good for the baby, bad for me trying to hide her."
Chris shook his head, "Aiden, it's going to come out eventually, don't you want to enjoy your pregnancy just a little bit?"
"It's for the best. I'm not ready for everyone to know yet. It will be easier now that everybody knows that Alex and I are fighting and that I left." She replied.
"So stubborn." Chris teased shaking his head and smirking.
"When it comes to my baby, yes I am." Aiden smiled.
Ajay came back downstairs with a handful of little baby clothes on hangers, "Will you give me your professional opinion on these?"
Aiden laughed, "I can do that."
When she was done assessing all of the clothes she noticed Ajay was staring at her again.
"What?" Aiden asked.
Ajay looked at Chris and then back to her, "Two things. One, you are not allowed to leave me again like you did because I will be very mad at you, and I don't like being mad at my Cookie."
"Done." Aiden smiled.
"And two," Ajay continued, "Chris and I wanted to ask you if you would please be in the delivery room with us?"
Aiden's mouth dropped open, "Me?"
They both smiled and nodded.
"Of course I would, thank you for asking me." She smiled with tears in her eyes.
"I think you and I together would be able to keep Ajay calm so she doesn't kill somebody." Chris joked as he kissed Ajay.
Aiden wiped her eyes, "That means so much to me that you asked."
Ajay hugged Aiden, "I wanted you to be there that way maybe you wouldn't be so scared when you have your baby, and stop crying you're making me feel bad."
Aiden laughed, "Damn hormones."
Chris grinned, "It's so good to have you back home, and we really did miss you. Does Alex know you're here yet?"
Aiden shook her head, "I'm kind of postponing the inevitable, but I know I do need to call him."
Ajay was skeptical, "Let him suffer some more, he deserves it."
Aiden looked down at her hands, twirling her wedding band around beneath her engagement ring.
Ajay sighed, "Well don't leave yet. He can wait another hour or so."
Aiden nodded.
They talked and ate lunch together until finally Aiden pulled out her cell phone to call Alex. Ajay was pouting in her chair.
Alex picked up on the first ring, "Aiden!?"
"Hey." She said quietly.
"Are you okay? Is the baby? Where are you?" he spouted off.
"We're fine, I was wondering if you would pick me up from Chris and Ajay's?" she asked.
"I'm on my way now." He said disconnecting the call.
"You're already shaking again." Ajay muttered.
"I'm just nervous." Aiden said.
Alex burst through the door a few minutes later. He stopped at the entrance to the living room. Aiden stood up to face her husband. Alex swallowed audibly when he saw how much bigger their baby had grown in only a week. Aiden was finally glowing for the first time since she found out she was pregnant.
His chest rose and fell heavily as he blinked back tears. He went to her and pulled her into his embrace. He could feel her shivering as he held her.
"I'm so sorry baby, this is all my fault and I swear it will never happen again." He whispered in her ear.
Her fear spiked, she did NOT want to be made a fool of again.
"You've said that before Alex." She sighed.
"I know, I know." He said quietly continuing to hold her.
She pushed away from him, "Why is this time any different from the last? Why should I trust you when I've gotten burned twice by doing so? We have a lot to talk about before I come back into your life."
Alex watched her completely terrified that if he said the wrong thing he would lose his wife and daughter for good.
"I'll do whatever it takes for you to come home so we can be a family again." He promised.
"I only want one thing from you…the truth." She said staring at him with her determined eyes.
Alex nodded solemnly.
Aiden pondered her line of questioning, thinking of what she wanted to ask him very carefully.
"I want to know what you're thinking." Aiden began.
He blew out a breath, that was an easy question with an even easier answer, "I'm thinking about how much I love you and how badly I want us to be together again."
Aiden shook her head, "I don't want to know what you're thinking about right now, I want to know what you think about when you cheat on me?"
Ajay gasped and held onto Chris, she couldn't believe Aiden had just asked him that.
Alex's jaw flexed, "I don't really think about anything. I was going on bad information the first time and this time I was drunk and let things get out of hand, and I'm so sorry."
"You don't think about your wife and your unborn baby at any point and time?" Aiden asked.
"Sometimes, but I just, I get caught up with what I'm doing and what I'm feeling and by then I've already fucked up." He stammered.
He was so afraid of saying the wrong thing and hurting her even more. He took a step to her and held his arms out to her but she shook her head. Alex dropped his arms in defeat.
"What makes you do it? Why do you act like such a man whore? If you didn't want to be married, if you wanted to be single and sleep around then why did we get married in the first place?"
Alex sighed, "Can we go home and talk about this please?"
Aiden shook her head, "Answer me first."
Alex glanced at Chris and Ajay before dropping his eyes. He never liked talking about himself and his emotions, especially with an audience. He couldn't lose Aiden though, he just couldn't.
So he sucked up his pride and locked eyes with her again, "I don't want to be single Aiden that's why I married you. You are the one person that makes me feel happy and loved. You're the only person I want to be with for the rest of my life, you're the only person I want to have children with, you're everything to me baby."
She crossed her arms, "What about the first part of the question?"
He didn't answer as he glanced back at Chris and Ajay.
"Alex?" she asked.
He shook his head and lowered his eyes, "Please can we talk about this at home?"
He looked back up at her and saw the shimmering tears in her eyes as she shook her head.
"Babe please?" he pleaded.
"No, Alex. Just tell me why you do it, why do you cheat on me? Am I not good enough for you?" She cried.
He rushed to her then, grabbing her upper arms, "Don't you ever say that Aiden! You're more than good enough for me. That's why I do it, that's why I cheat on you because I don't deserve you."
His eyes were cloudy with his emotion, his whole body shook with the raw openness that she had coerced from him. Aiden's tears fell as she stared at her husband. She never knew that he felt that way.
He let her go and averted his eyes, "Can we go now please?"
Aiden nodded. Chris and Ajay waved slightly as Alex took her hand and went to his car. He loaded her suitcases before they took off to go home. The ride was silent as they drove. They both walked into the house, Aiden sitting on the couch. A vase with two dozen roses sat on the coffee table with a card that read: Please come home, I miss and love you, Alex.
He stood behind his chair, "I was going to send those tomorrow."
"They're beautiful." She said wiping her eyes.
He nodded, "They reminded me of you."
She looked at him then, "I want to finish talking Alex."
He chewed on his lip and sat down. He waited for her to speak.
"Why do you feel like you don't deserve me Lex?" she asked.
"Because I don't." he answered simply.
"So that's the reason you cheat on me?" she wondered, "I don't get it."
"Look at you then look at me, its so obvious Aiden. You, you're everything. You're sweet and beautiful and sophisticated and intelligent and refined and look at me, I'm none of that shit. I've got semi-good looks and a cocky attitude to mask the fact that that's all I've got going for me. I don't want to cheat on you Aiden but I don't know of any other way to not be so attached to you." He said.
"Why don't you want to be attached to me anymore? You don't love me anymore?" she choked out.
"I do love you, God help me, I love you so much it hurts Aiden. I've never loved anyone as much as I do you, and that's what scares me." Unexpected tears fell from his eyes, "I hurt you so that when somebody comes along, somebody who actually is in your league, somebody that deserves you, when they come along and make you realize how much we don't belong together I'll be able to survive it. Maybe I can figure out how to live with my heart ripped out of my chest when you leave, maybe you'll hate me enough by then to not ruin your life again by being with me."
He dropped his head again and sniffed. He was in agony as she watched him. She could tell how pitifully self loathing he was at the moment and it was killing her.
"I don't know why you love me, there's no reason for you too. I have nothing to offer you." He laughed cynically, "I keep feeling like I cheated the love game and now I'm doomed to sit around with this painful anxiety wondering when the carpet is going to be snatched from up under you, me, the baby…everything. I keep waiting to wake up but praying everyday that I don't."
Aiden sat on the couch, stunned by her husband's words. Now she was unsure of herself, not knowing whether she should comfort him or fear for their relationship. The dull pain from being nauseated since she got back was becoming unbearable as she stared at the top of Alex's head. She closed her eyes briefly and placed a hand on her stomach in an effort to keep the sickness at bay. Her eyes opened slowly as she felt Alex's hand cover hers. His visage broke her heart. His jaw was tight in an effort to maintain the tears that were welled up in his eyes. His cheeks still wet from the previous tears that had fallen.
"I'm sorry that I was selfish. I-I…" he paused gritting his teeth as the tears spilled and unbearable pain lanced through him, "I'll understand if you decide you'd rather not be with me. I can endure it for the sake of your happiness and for our baby."
Aiden turned slightly to cup his face forcing him to look at her. His eyes were shimmering and he was holding his breath.
She wet her trembling lips, "There is only you, no one else. Not now or ever. I could never just walk away from you Alex."
He shook his head in her hands, "You should. Don't you see that nothing adds up? The odds were stacked against us from the beginning."
"If we want it enough, if we work at this, if we trust each other and love each other we can make it. I realized that while I was gone. You're not just somebody that I want; you're somebody that I need. You're my husband and our baby's father. That means something to me; you've got status above everyone else." She stopped and winced as a wave of sickness throttled her.
"Aiden?" Alex questioned softly as she released him and bent at her waist.
She blew out a breath, "I'm okay."
He shook his head watching his ailing wife, "I'm sorry Aiden."
"You're not allowed to apologize anymore. I know you are." She whispered as she slowly sat back up.
He ran his fingers through her hair again, dark, watchful eyes never leaving her face.
"The only thin I want from you no, the only thing I'm afraid of, is for you to please not make me look like a fool for taking you back. Please don't do this to me again because I just couldn't bear it." She trailed off leaning back against the couch as another wave tore through her.
"I swear I won't Aiden. I love you, I hope you know that." He promised.
She nodded slowly as she pulled him to her.
"I love you too." She breathed, her lips brushing his.
He looked into her eyes as she pressed his lips to hers.
And with that….their fate was sealed.
It took me forever to figure out how to word this chapter :) hope it made sense! thanks to Kennedy and BourneBetter for their help :) xoxo