"Frea", I called out, opening the door to the office with a stack of paperwork in my arms, "We've got a new shipment of work coming from the rest of the others, something concerning the Fey...again." I rolled my eyes at my own statement, yet I couldn't keep a snort in check. To be honest, I admired those little twats, even though they pulled pranks on practically everyone - including me. There was something about little guys taking on more powerful beings that resonated deep inside of me, and we share a fine sense in the art of annoying others.

With a soft nudge from my shoulder, I opened the door to the office, finding Frea in the middle of being sexually harrassed by Gaia. Hm, indeed- there's nothing wrong here. All I need to do is make sure that I won't be seen while the two other women do whatever it is they're doing, and I'm definitely not calling them out because I don't want the current scene to stop or anything. In fact, I could liken it to some kind of background noise, but only for more mature audiences. As if the squeaks and moans didn't tell you enough of that, already.

In any case, I achieved my objective relatively easily, and so I took a chair from the stack, sat on it, amd watched the peculiarly interesting scene (without making a sound, of course). It was only then when Frea's knees start to buckle inwards did she notice me, and quickly released a scream that also had the undertones of...You know what? Why am I even describing this in detail? In fact, now that both Gaia and Frea were staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights, I should milk the scene for all it's worth!

And so, with my incredible prowess in the art of pissing people off, I raised a hand for my last words. "Carry on. Please don't mind me; it was just getting to the good part, after all."

Let it be known that it was with great relish that I was thrown out the window by the anthropomorphic representatin of nature. Not that I was implying that I was a masochist of course, but because my plan to piss them off had gone perfectly. Of course, there was a good chance that I had to start running for my life and the two just gave me a very generous headstart, but I'd like to take my chances and stare at my surroundings.

Fafnir was currently enjoying his time with the Arc twins, frolicking about the lake. Currently, he was in his dragon form the size of a housecat, and was currently being pampered by Jeanne while Emo-Jeanne was currently chasing them with blasts of fire. Pretty normal. I could see what Shirou's doing from one of the shack's windows, but...I'd rather not go when I'm still trying to reoress those memories. Alaya was currently lounging by the shore, idly watcng the crystal clear lake with impassive blue eyes, and I immediately decided to run towards her the moment I heard Death call my name.

I shifted beside her, and quickly held up a hand to stop her from speaking. "I need to hide from Gaia for the moment", I said, starting off with the cold facts, "I was delivering some paperwork to the office, but Gaia was sexually harrassing Frea. I decided to ignore what was going on and accomplish my work, but they noticed my presence. Ergo, as of the moment, they are trying to kill me. Which is why I need your help in order to hide from Gaia."

Alaya stared at me with unblinking blue eyes, before a flash of emotion glimmered across their surface. Mostly pity. Really, like 95% pity and 5% incredulity. "Akasha never gives you a break, doesn't she?" She asked, and closed her eyes. A second later, a stuffed toy was conjured in between her hands, and she placed it beside her, a finger pointing towards it. "Hide there. Gaia would not bother looking for you in what is so clearly my creation."

"You want me to possess the stuffed toy." I deadpanned, and stared at Alaya with a dry look. A few seconds pass, and Alaya tilted her head in confusion, so I had to clarify things for her. "The stuffed toy that you made." Her brows furrowed, and I let out an exasperated sigh. A quick Analysis of the stuffed toy later, and I found myself staring at a soul container. One that effectively trapped the soul inside until the user deems it so. It was basically the djinn's lamp, but modernized.

'Coincidentally', the stuffed toy was designed in the likeness of Counter Guardian EMIYA. In fact, it should've been the first clue of the stuffed toy's true nature. Damn Alaya and her penchant for drawing in poor schmucks. If I didn't know any better, I'd liken her to Satan himself...

...Oh god. Faust is a Counter Guardian. That is one thing that I do not need to know.

"Time is running out, Magician", Alaya said, a thin smile on her face. Alright, that's it. Sadists, the lot of them. I knew that the saying 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree' was an actual truth. You know what? Screw it. I tapped my left temple, revealing Mimir's eye to the Reverse Side of the World, and quickly snipped some concepts that would result in a very bad headache to get out of. I stopped for an instant, adding a few more concepts before jumping in, just in time to see Frea round the corner with murder written on her steel gaze.

"WHERE IS HE?!" The Elf screamed, turning towards Alaya. The latter simply gave the former a blank look, and stared until Frea grew uncomfortable enough to snap out of her temper and visibly glance away from the blue-haired woman. "Uh... right. Sorry to intrude on your rest here, but uh...You know what? Nevermind. I'll just talk to him later."

Walking backwards in slow, measured steps, Frea kept her pace even until she turned the corner, where she immediately bolted to who-knows-where. I managed to hold back a snort, while Alaya quirked her lips upward into a smile.

Then the realization hit, and I paled. I was the one responsible for Alaya's sense of humor. It meant that it was actually me who fucked EMIYA over.

...Well, at least the thought counts, right?

/-/

Inside the unyielding iron sands of Unlimited Blade Works, EMIYA perked up, an intrusion registering in his world. His head turned towards the intrusion, seeing a small doll in the likeness of himself, standing proud amidst the battleground of unlimited blades.

Just as he was about to reach for it though, the doll suddenly spoke.

"Hey, kid. What do you say about a wish."