Disclaimer: I'm not Cassandra Clare thus own none of her characters.

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Note: I'm very, very sorry for the delay!

CHAPTER 20 – Waking Dream

Previously: "I refuse to exist in a world where you don't." He gently laid his lover down and kissed him one last time, then took out one of his seraph blades and named it. "Ithuriel". He looked at Magnus and whispered, his eyes never leaving his face "I hope I can see you again soon… I love you." and plunged the Angel Blade in his heart.

…

Alec woke up with a start, breathing erratically 'Magnus… No, no, no, no… But… If I'm alive, he must be too… Don't panic.' He relaxed a little, and looked around, taking his surroundings in. It was night and he found himself lying on a soft warm bed he recognised immediately. Magnus' scent was enveloping him and for a second he felt disorientated. Was everything really a nightmare after all? "I've been dreaming…? But… which parts… were the Dream?"

His head was splitting, memories fighting for dominance. Magnus leaving him. The girl Warlock. The Demon. Magnus loving him. Magnus, leaving again. Then hating him. Demon. Magnus sacrificing his life to save him, and himself unable to take it, committing suicide. "Aargh" He clutched his head in pain. What had happened? He had no idea, but since he found himself in Magnus' apartment, everything must have been a horrible nightmare, right…? He turned on his side expecting to see Magnus sleeping peacefully beside him under the covers, but he didn't. Magnus was there alright, but there was nothing peaceful about him. He looked like he had passed out from fatigue over the comforter, beside him. He was pale with deep dark shadows under his closed eyes, but the most alarming thing of all was the amount of blood littering his clothes. Alec gasped; "Magnus!" he shot up, but his vision darkened once more and he fell back down on the pillows. "Magnus…" he whispered terrified, images of the Warlock dying in his arms, invading his mind again. What had happened?

He couldn't tell Dreams from reality anymore but he didn't care. All he wanted was to make sure Magnus was okay, nothing else mattered. He slowly sat up trembling, and reached out for him, idly noting his own hand was bandaged but not caring why, as he took his lover's pulse. His heartbeat was steady and on a closer inspection, he didn't look hurt, just exhausted; so whose blood was all that? He touched Magnus' face with his hand and the Warlock moved, muttering in his sleep "Alexander… I'm sorry… Don't die…" To his horror, Magnus started crying, but didn't wake up. He moved closer to hug the Warlock and rouse him, and noticed there were more bandages on himself. Then he put the pieces together. (Most of them at least, not all, but he wasn't aware at the time.) He'd seen it before. Himself lying bandaged on a bed, recovering, and Magnus beside him, exhausted after healing his wounds.

He tried once more to remember more about what happened but his head was killing him, and he gave up since remembering anything, wasn't a priority anyway. Magnus was. He cradled him to his chest and kissed his forehead softly, crooning "Magnus… Wake up baby, it's just a dream, I'm here… Wake up…" The Warlock's eyelashes fluttered and opened and he looked up at him, his eyes gleaming with tears. "A– Alec?" "Shh… I'm here… It's okay… Everything's alright…" Magnus reached out for him touching his face softly. Alec leaned into his touch, content, closing his eyes. He hadn't realised he was in pain until then, but he did in this moment, when Magnus touched him lovingly, and all the anguish he felt just disappeared. 'I'm home… At last…'

"Sweetheart… are you okay?" Alec's eyes opened and he stared, confused, snapping out of his reverie. "Yes? Why wouldn't I be?" Magnus looking really worried, left Alec's arms reluctantly, kneeled in front of him and took his face in his hands, softly caressing his cheekbones with his thumbs. "You… don't remember what happened?" "No… My head hurts… I tried to remember but couldn't… And I was worried about you…" said the boy, frowning, looking away. "Also I had some horrible nightmares and now I'm confused…" Magnus gently turned his face making him look at him, and the Nephilim went on, looking deeply in his emerald eyes, his own sapphire ones pleading for answers; "I remember things that don't make sense… Everything is so fragmental… I… I don't know anymore… Can you tell me?"

"You… were attacked by a demon… You almost died…" explained Magnus his voice breaking, fresh tears falling from his eyes as he remembered Alec lying on the subway, almost dead. 'My fault… Everything was my fault…' Alec reached out to him, wiping his tears. "It's okay…" he whispered, soothingly, trying to comfort the Warlock "I'm okay now… You saved me…" "No… I… I was late… Almost too late… By the time I reached you, you were barely alive… Frozen and broken…" he sobbed breaking down, and Alec hugged him "Hush… It's okay… Don't cry… Everything's alright now." 'No… It's not… But at least you are alive…' He wanted to say, but kept his tongue since the boy didn't remember, and wouldn't understand what he meant. After a while, Magnus managed to calm down, and went on, finishing his explanation of what had happened "The demon scratched you, poisoning you, and the venom had you trapped in nightmares for hours, I couldn't wake you up…" Alec brightened up "So everything was a dream!" he smiled widely but immediately winced, and covered his face with his hand "Ugh. My head is killing me…" "Let me heal you…" Just as Magnus was about to reach out to him, he shot up "No, no wait, it doesn't matter, I have to speak to you!" The Warlock looked at him sadly "What is it love?"

Alec took Magnus' hands in his, and looking straight into his eyes, mesmerizing him, said; "Magnus, I swear to you, I would never betray you. I would sooner die, a thousand horrible deaths. Please believe me, I swear it on the Angel, no. I swear it on you, because you are more important than anything else in my life. I love you." he paused, looking terrified "Why… Why are you crying?" Magnus just pulled him close hugging him tightly. "I love you too." Alec relaxed in his arms sighing in relief. Everything was okay. But why was there still a nagging feeling in his heart that something was wrong? And why…? "Mags?" The Warlock was still crying quietly, and Alec reluctantly left his hug and caught his shoulders to look at his face, wiping his tears away with one hand. "What's wrong?"

'I have to tell him… He will remember soon, and then it will be worse…' Magnus thought, but only muttered, "I'm so sorry…" and Alec noticed his hands started trembling slightly. "Close your eyes." The Nephilim obeyed and saw sparks behind his eyelids as the pain in his head subsided. He opened his eyes and gasped horrified, jerking away from Magnus. Everything came back to him at once, and tears filled his eyes. "It… it wasn't a dream…"

…

AfterNote: I'm terribly sorry, but the next part may be a little late again… I hope you can forgive me! (Α week in the worst case, no later.)

AfterNote2: I am aware that the part "He'd seen it before. Himself lying bandaged on a bed and Magnus beside him looking exhausted." isn't exactly true, based on the books, since his only major injury was caused by Abbadon, but I hope you can let it slide! It could have happened!

P.S: I'm sorry if this chapter isn't so good, I couldn't get enough time to work on it properly, but I posted it anyway because I didn't want to keep anyone waiting… I may revamp it later. (Along with some previous chapters too…)

Also, sorry if any part of this, (or the whole story for that matter) is OOC. Please let me know if you dislike anything.