Little Moments

Chapter 21: When a Heart Breaks

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Thanks guys so much for the reviews. For those of you who don't have accounts just know that I seriously always read what you have to say and value your opinions! Sorry it has taken me so long to update. Classes started back up Monday so I'm trying to get my schedule all sorted out, and I kinda had to but writing on the back burner. But I'm back with a new chapter that I hope all of you like!

*Flashback in italics

OTHOTH

It was the second time Haley had done this. Granted, the last time she was in high school, but now it was five years later. Nathan had been playing for the Charleston Chiefs for about a month when she had found out. She was pregnant again. They were pregnant again.

A few weeks back she had taken a home pregnancy test and the two pink lines said it all. Nathan had been thrilled when she told him and he'd even gone to the doctor's with her to make sure. It was only a blood test but he wanted to be there for her. With him being on the road, and away in South Carolina most of the time, he knew he couldn't be there for everything. But he was home then and wasn't going to miss it. Actually, he was the one who answered the phone when they called back confirming the results.

Nathan walked through the kitchen to grab a bottled water when the phone rang. Not thinking anything of it he answered expecting it to be Lucas, or Skills, or maybe a teller-marketer. But it wasn't any of those.

"Hello?" Nathan causally answered and tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder twisting the cap off his water bottle.

A woman replied, "Hi, Mr. Scott? Nathan Scott?"

"Yes." Nathan had no idea who this person was, but this woman apparently knew his name.

"Hi, this is Sharon from Dr. Walker's office and we have your wife's test results."

Nathan put his water down. This was it. This was a defining moment. Was he going to be a father again, or would they have to try again? "Oh." That was all he could manage to say. He paused to collect his thoughts, "So, what...what did it say?"

Sharon could tell that the young husband was nervous but she had good news. Very good news. "Congratulations, Haley's pregnant."

Those three words took his breath away and he leaned on the counter. He smiled and nodded to himself, took a deep breath, and spoke softly, "Thank you, thank you very much."

Sharon laughed, "Oh it wasn't me. I just get to relay the good news." Nathan could hear the ruffling of papers and then she began again, "Now Haley needs to come in, in about four weeks to do her first ultrasound, preliminary testing, and all that."

Nathan was taking mental notes. He'd never been good at remembering things but this was something important.

Before Nathan could respond, Sharon continued,"We'll call back to confirm the dates but just let her know."

Nathan nodded, "Okay, I will. Great, thank you."

"Well that's that. Congratulations again and we look forward to seeing you both later."

Nathan took a deep breath. This was real. It was really happening. He said thank you once more then goodbye, and walked out of the kitchen. He made his way to the laundry room and leaned on the door frame.

He was starring at her and she didn't seem to notice. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she was sporting the casual look of jeans and a t-shirt, but looked more beautiful that he'd ever seen. It was like his world slowed down and he took it all in. The way she poured the detergent and made sure it was just even to the fill line. The way she pressed those buttons and took the clothes out of the dryer had him enamored. These everyday little things had him captivated and he thanked his lucky stars that he got to call her his wife. She was the best part of him and he knew it.

Haley finally looked toward the door and saw Nathan watching her, "Hey, who was on the phone?" She bent down to separate some of the laundry not knowing the news he had to share.

Nathan walked into the room and stepped close to his wife. She looked up waiting for an answer but he just smiled in return. She stood up from her crouched position curious as to what was going on.

"I love you." Nathan stared hard into his wife's eyes and she was a bit puzzled by his sudden comment. Not that she didn't love him too, she did. More so than he probably even knew, but she was caught off guard by his demeanor.

She ran her hand over her brow and let out a small laugh, "Well I love you too." Tossing a few socks into a basket she looked to Nathan who still had this look on his face she couldn't quite make out. Haley pushed a few things on top of the dryer aside and lifted herself up to sit on it.

Nathan took that as his cue to move even closer and he did.

"Nathan? What's going on?" She racked her brain trying to figure out what in the world was happening.

"That was Sharon from Doctor Walker's office on the phone." Nathan stepped as close to the dryer as he possibly could with the sweetest smile painted across his face.

His tone had said it all. She already knew what he was going to say. He didn't need to say it, but she wanted to hear it from him. "Am I? Are we...?"

Nathan put his hands on her sides and nodded,"Pregnant."

Haley's beautiful dark brown eyes now had a glossy sheen and she smiled. She put her hands on his shoulders and brought her face close to his. He was looking at her with love and happiness, and it made her heart swell. She took a deep breath and looked to Nathan, "I love you." She ran her hands over his broad shoulders and around his neck.

He leaned down and kissed her tenderly, "Well I love you too." He couldn't help but say what she had said just minutes ago, and laughed when he pulled away.

Haley smiled and kissed him again. That was all they needed. Love. It was what held them together in the good times, the bad times, and everything else in between. But it wasn't just them. They had Jamie and now a new baby on the way, which made everything in the world worth living for, worth loving for.

The two of them stayed embraced in each others arms for what seemed like an eternity and for a moment everything else disappeared. The faint buzz of the washing machine had been blocked out and the sweet smell of detergent had faded away. All they knew, all they had, was this family and the news that they were adding to it was just what they had wanted.

That was just shy of a month ago and now Haley was on her way to that all important doctor's appointment. Unfortunately, Nathan was in Charleston and wasn't able to make it, but he would be home later that night after practice.

When Haley stopped the car in front of the building she never would have guessed that this was the doctor's appointment she'd need Nathan the most.

OTHOTH

Once they had called her name she anxiously walked to the exam room and waited for Dr. Walker. To her surprise she didn't have to wait long until the familiar man walked into the room.

"Good morning Haley. How are you doing today?" Doctor Walker took a look at her chart and nodded to himself a few times. "So it seems you are here for the first ultrasound?"

Haley straightened up, "Yep."

"Now is Nathan going to be joining us? I can wait a minute if he's on his way." Doctor Walker was an avid basketball fan and knew about Nathan's busy schedule.

She shook her head, "Um, no. He's in Charleston right now. It's just me."

"Oh well, alright." He sounded a bit disappointed. He loved his job and was happy to perform the ultrasound, but honestly he was quite excited when he saw that Haley had an appointment. He thought for sure he would get to talk basketball with Nathan.

Dr. Walker turned to the counter and put on a pair of gloves, "I'm just gonna suit up and then squirt some of this stuff on." He grabbed the tube of jelly and Haley lifted up her shirt.

She laid her head back and looked to the monitor.

"This is baby number two right?" Doctor Walker knew that but was trying to make small talk as he squeezed a glob of the cool blue goop on Haley's belly.

Haley looked to him with warm eyes and nodded. "Uh huh, baby number two."

"Okay, well here we go. Now we won't be able to see too much but we'll hear the heartbeat and we'll be able to get picture if you want."

Of course she'd want a picture. Who wouldn't?

Dr. Walker slowly ran the transducer probe over her stomach and looked to the screen. After a few more swipes across her stomach he shook his head, "Sometimes it takes a minute to get a good angle." He added some more jelly and switched hands, thinking maybe that would help.

Haley was getting nervous but knew that sometimes it did take a few tries to pick up a image or signal.

Pausing his hand, Dr. Walker took a glance at the screen and squinted his eyes. He knew what he saw but needed to get a second opinion, wanted to get a second opinion. He glanced over at Haley who was looking at the screen not realizing what she was looking at.

"Um, I'm going to need to step out for a second. I'll be right back." Dr. Walker placed the probe down and threw his gloves in the trash. When he walked out of the door Haley knew something was wrong.

As she sat there, every possible complication flashed through her mind. But how could that be happening. She was healthy in every way and it wasn't like she hadn't done this before, she had. And aside from the fact that she'd been hit by a car, that pregnancy went rather smoothly.

Dr. Walker opened the door and gave Haley a somber smile. He was putting on a fresh set of gloves when another doctor walked in. He introduced himself as Dr. Monroe and started moving the probe around looking intently at the monitor. Haley said hello but her mind was somewhere else. She knew in her heart of hearts that she was about to receive devastating news. As soon as she saw them pointing at the screen and shaking their heads she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

Dr. Monroe exited the exam room and left Dr. Walker with Haley. He set the probe down once again and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Haley, but..."

Haley couldn't even hear the rest of the words coming out of his mouth. Her quivering chin and tear stained cheeks preoccupied any and all of her thoughts as her world had just been turned upside down.

She did manage to hear Dr. Walker tell her that it wasn't anything she did wrong. That it just happens sometimes. He started talking about something called blighted ovum and how it may have happened. He told her that she had been pregnant, the test results were correct, but that there never was any fetal growth.

Haley didn't understand how it happened, or why, just that she was no longer pregnant. It was definitely the hardest moment of her life and the one person she needed to be there couldn't.

She tried to compose herself as Dr. Walker explained what the treatment was but everything he said made her stomach hurt.

"You'll need to come back in a few weeks so we can do a check-up." Dr. Walker reached out for her hand and the older middle aged man tried to comfort the young twenty something, "This doesn't mean you won't be able to try again in the future."

Even though he was being sincere and was trying to make her feel better, she just needed to leave. Get out of that tiny exam room and get from fresh air. They scheduled her return appointment and when she walked through the lobby lined with happy expectant mothers she wanted nothing more than to break down right there.

As she got into the car she rested her head on the steering wheel and silently sobbed. Haley took a few deep breaths and knew that she would need to ask Lucas to pick Jamie up from school and watch him tonight. She'd want to have the house to herself for the afternoon and definitely later that night when Nathan got back to town.

How do you tell a father this kind of news. How do you explain to him what went wrong when he wasn't there to hear it from the doctor. Thank goodness they hadn't told Jamie they were gonna have a baby. The idea of having to sit him down and explain to him that he wasn't going to be big brother anytime soon broke her heart. But telling Nathan was going to be the worst.

OTHOTH

On his way home from Charleston Nathan tried to drive as quickly as possible. It was one of the few weekends he had off and didn't want to miss a minute of it.

He missed his house and the way it smelled. He missed his own bed. The one in the Charleston hotel room had nothing on the one at home. He missed his son and asking him about his day. But most of all he missed his wife. Without her none of what he did would be worth it so getting the chance to spend time with his family was exactly what he wanted.

Pulling into the driveway, Nathan parked his Range Rover and hurried toward the door. When he walked inside he smiled.

"Jamie? Haley? I'm home." He shut the door behind him and was curious as to where everyone was.

He didn't hear the bustling of little feet Jamie made every time Nathan came home, and he didn't see Haley waiting for him which struck him as odd. He turned to walk into the kitchen and saw four of their kitchen drawers on the counter. That was the first sign that something was wrong. Haley only organized their kitchen drawers when something was bothering her.

Nathan saw that the drawers were perfectly neat and put them back in their right places. Neither Haley or Jamie had come into the room so he decided to looking for them.

When he opened up Jamie's door he found the room empty except for Chester. Frowning, he walked to his bedroom expecting to at least find someone in there. Again, the room was empty. He walked in and saw that it was perfectly neat. It was like no one was home. He glanced toward the bathroom and when he walked toward it he saw that the door to the balcony was slightly open. Wondering if someone was out there he stuck his head out.

There she was. Just Haley, standing next to the railing leaning on the wooden beams. He stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"I was looking all over for you." He brought his cheek close to her ear and kissed the side of her head.

Haley hadn't said anything and couldn't. Any and all words she thought about saying were being swallowed up by the tears and emotion. It was a good thing her back was to him because otherwise he'd know right away something was up.

Nathan slowly ran his right hand down her side and across her stomach resting just below her belly button. "I'm sorry I missed the appointment, how did it go. Did you get a picture?"

Haley tried to move out of his embrace. She took a deep breath and it hitched before she exhaled. Nathan heard it and knew then that something wasn't right. Haley turned around to face him and when her swollen puffy eyes met his concerned blues his face dropped at the sight.

"Hales, what's wrong?" Nathan arched his brow not knowing the news Haley was about to tell him.

She took another deep breath and tried to speak, "I.... When I...." Each word felt like razor blades coming out of her mouth and she closed her eyes and shook her head. Nathan reached out and brushed away a tear. She swallowed hard and spoke up, "Nathan..."

He interrupted her before she could finish. She had worked up the courage to say it and he didn't let her finish. Nathan was really worried. He'd never seen her this emotional, or sad about something, "Are you okay? Is it Jamie, or the..?"

This time Haley interrupted him. She didn't want him to say it. Baby. Because there was no baby. Not anymore. In a hushed whisper Haley spoke, "I lost the baby." As soon as it came out of her mouth she collapsed in Nathan's arms. He felt her shaking and heard her soft sobs.

He didn't know if he'd heard her right but by the way she was reacting he was pretty sure that they'd lost the baby.

"I'm so sorry," Haley whispered and rested her head on his chest.

Nathan rubbed her back soothingly and looked down at her, "Sorry? Haley you didn't do anything? These things happen. I'm the one who's sorry. I can't believe I wasn't there." He was genuinely upset that she had to go through all of that by herself. Sure playing in Charleston got him one step closer to his dream but he was really getting tired of missing it all. None of it was more important than his family.

He was still taking it all in. Nathan was trying to be strong. Haley didn't need to see him break down while she was upset too. He knew that the best thing was for him to comfort her, to hold her close, and let her know that no matter what everything was going to be okay.

As they stood outside the cool evening air whirled around them. Nathan could feel Haley shivering and didn't know if it was due to the temperature outside or the outcome of her emotions. He kissed her forehead and squeezed her tight, "Why don't we go inside."

Haley nodded and they walked in their bedroom. She sat down on the foot of the bed and Nathan sat next to her. He saw that she was broken and wanted nothing more than to put her back together. It would happen but it would take some time.

He heard her sigh and put an arm securely along her back, "Haley. I love you." He waited for her to look at him before he continued, "And I know we wanted this. But we can try again." He reached for her hand and took it in his, "We'll get through it. Together." Haley locked eyes with his and leaned into his body.

"I love you." Her soft whisper was barely heard but he somehow caught it.

He placed a sweet kiss on top of her head, "I love you too."

They both laid down on the bed and soon Haley was sound asleep. With the day she'd had and the emotional toll, she was worn out. Nathan watched her sleep and could see the hurt and pain. He whispered that he loved her and kissed the corner of her mouth. He slowly got out of bed and grabbed his keys. There was someone he needed to see.

OTHOTH

Sitting in the car Nathan tried to stay strong but with Haley asleep upstairs he was safe to let it out. Just like she had done earlier, he rested his head against the steering wheel and salty tears rolled down his face. He wasn't the type of guy to cry often but the news that Haley had lost the baby hit him hard. He'd only felt worse the night of the state championship. Haley lying in the middle of the street, motionless, and the uncertainty of her own fate and their child's loomed above him for what seemed like years. He would still on occasion have a re-occurring dream, or nightmare, where they weren't okay, that they didn't survive. Those were the things he feared in life most. The idea of losing one of them killed Nathan and the news that they'd lost the new baby drove a stake right through his heart.

What was worse was that he hadn't been there for her. He remembered what it was like when the doctor was searching for Jamie's heartbeat after the accident, but he was there for that. And he was the one she had leaned into when they heard that thump, thump, thump, but today she didn't have anyone.

But that wasn't necessarily all true. She did have people. She had a wonderful husband who wasn't there then, but he was here now, and she had a son who adored her with everything he had. Jamie. Jamie was the someone he needed to see.

Even though Haley hadn't said that Lucas and Peyton were keeping him he drove over there anyways. It was semi-late, around 11:00pm but Nathan needed to see him. He wanted to take Jamie home.

He didn't call beforehand and when he pulled up to the curb he saw that the porch lights were still on. When he walked up the few steps he knocked on the door and Peyton opened it up. Haley hadn't said why they needed to keep him but when Haley had called that afternoon Peyton could tell something was up. No one else knew about the pregnancy except for Lucas but he hadn't said a word to Peyton about it.

"Hey Nate." Peyton looked a little sleepy but let her soon-to-be brother-in-law inside.

Nathan didn't know that his face showed the signs of his distress and past tears so he perked up and smiled, "Hey, I was gonna come get Jamie."

Lucas walked out of the bedroom and looked at Nathan. He could tell that Nathan was upset but knew better than to ask. Instead, he waved Nathan over and opened up the guest bedroom door.

Nathan stepped into the room and watched his little boy sleep. He looked so comfortable that he didn't want to move him, but he wanted him home. Haley needed him more than she knew.

He walked over to the bed and scooped the little boy up. Jamie stirred a little when he was lifted out of the bed and started to open his eyes.

But before Jamie opened his eyes Nathan intervened, "Shh, go back to sleep."

The little boy apparently took directions well and shut his eyes. Nathan held Jamie close and thanked Lucas and Peyton for keeping him. He carefully walked outside and buckled Jamie in his booster seat. As Nathan drove home he was sure to be super careful and took wide turns not to wake Jamie. When he made it back home he gently picked his son up and went into the house.

Instead of taking Jamie to his own room he kept straight and walked into his and Haley's bedroom. He moved over to his side of the bed and saw that Haley was still fast asleep. He gingerly placed Jamie in the center of the bed and laid down next to him.

Haley moved a little then slowly opened up her eyes. Nathan was looking right at her and then she saw Jamie in between them. She looked at her sleeping boy and ran her hand over his shoulder. He felt his mom's touch and instinctively moved closer to her. Haley's eyes filled with tears and she kissed him softly on the cheek.

Through the darkness she looked to Nathan and smiled appreciatively, "Thank you."

He knew that Jamie was just what Haley needed. It was what they both needed. He was everything to them, and maybe someday there would be another little Scott but what was important was now. Today. And Jamie was there now.

Nathan saw Haley wrap her arm and around Jamie and shut her eyes, so he scooted a little bit closer to his family. Today had been a bad day, nothing went as planned. Nothing was perfect, but they were. They, Haley and Jamie, were his world and while he'd always want a little girl just like Haley, that could wait. Right now his wife and his son were his main concern. As long as his family was safe and healthy things were going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine.

OTHOTH

Well what did you think. Everyone who voted yes to this chapter, I hope this is something along the lines of what you were expecting. It was a lot harder to write than I thought it would be. Definitely a challenge. So with that said, how was it. Hate it? Love it? Want more emotionally charged chapters or should I stick to the more cutesy stuff. Next chapter will definitely be more cutesy...about a certain trip we never/haven't seen them take. Guesses anyone??