Aree! Explains enough? To browngirlwrites, yeah, it was intense, no? XD!

Chapter Twenty One

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That morning, I got to look clearly at the babies.

Fernando had Mark's eyes, beautiful, full and radiant, with a hint of mystique and soft sleek black hair that I could run my fingers into. His flesh was dabbed in a very soft, soft beige, Mark's peach and my pale skin together, meshed. Jonathon had my eyes, my eyes, but they were beautiful…they were so beautiful on him… and the flesh was peachy, and his hair was slicked black and…

God…

I started crying.

Mark cupped my face. "Phil?"

"So beautiful, 'I realized how they didn't deserve something as ugly as me. They didn't deserve to be looking at something as horrid and hideous as me. They…they couldn't live with me. They'd live with Matt and Mark and I'd have to kill myself in this little sick fantasy of mine, and they'd grow up and have beautiful parents. "God, Mark… they're too pretty for me!"

"Phil-"

I just started sobbing, pressing my head towards his arm, sobbing and crying, my tears slicked down my face… I was just too ugly for them. Mark couldn't understand how I felt about this wreck of a body I was stuck in. I felt so destroyed inside, this body of mine was physically broken down. I couldn't move without feeling jolts of pain. I saw Fernando peer at me and those eyes, wide, they shouldn't have been looking at me…I just didn't know. They just didn't seem to belong to me. Even if they did come out of me.

I stood up and I realized how much my ass hurt.

He held onto my hand, Mark's eyes staring at me, 'Pet, you're going to get injured if you go out there!"

I shook my head again and turned around, my ass cheeks were stinging with pain, the lining near my cock was burning and my stomach was flipping. My head was spinning so that even in the daylight, the blue looked white and everything was just tumbling upside down over and under, I just couldn't understand anything and then I leaned down and vomited up a pool of blood.

Tired.

Alone.

Scared.

I didn't want to go back to the cave and I was as sure as Hell that Mark wouldn't leave Fernando and Jonathon alone…he couldn't… and then I saw Matt there. He looked horrible but he still looked better than I could have. I could feel the dryness of my hair, I even smelled like dry blood, so strong that I felt like I was going to faint from the smell alone as Matt stared at me weakly. "You-"

I nodded my head. "I…I gave birth," I softly responded as Matt held me from falling down and then Jeff came behind him.

Matt and Jeff both had the same cut on their face. It seemed to me as if Madison marked her victims the same way, the pulsing cut of a diagonal line on their face, with a tiny circle just below their jawline, as if it were a French dot, and then Jeff grabbed me, pulling me close and embraced me. "God, you're safe," he mumbled under his breath. Two months ago, he wouldn't have dared touched me but now…he was just so happy to be alive, so happy that I was alive…

Something just hit me so hard that I almost wanted to fall.

Madison.

"Is Madison around?" my voice was dry and broken, shattered in ten different tones, of a broken lullaby.

Matt nodded his head and that was enough to make me shudder. They wanted to be led back to the cave, to see both Fernando and Jonathon and I did take them back and my stomach was churning the way around as Jeff's face enlightened into a healthy glow as he leaned down and picked up one of the babies from Mark, Fernando. Fernando loved being in Jeff's arms, I could tell…

I just stared.

They just seemed to like Jeff more than me.

I could feel those tears burning again but I wouldn't dare let them fall. I didn't want to be weak anymore, dammit and then I turned and twisted around to face Matt, who was staring down at the children and then out of nowhere, Caiden just seemed to show up. I leaned down to take Fernando from Jeff, kissing onto his flesh, and seeing his face…God, I loved him so much.

He sneezed.

My heart melted.

I didn't want to be away from them. I finally decided that I didn't deserve them but I didn't want to hurt their delicate fragile hearts as they did mine. I kissed his face a thousand times as I rocked him to sleep and him being in my arms, he just fit me…he completed every puzzle of me…and God, he was…Mark…Mark and I…I wanted it to be a real family. Of me and Mark and Fernando and Jonathon…I didn't want to be separated from Mark. I didn't want that at all.

Mark stared up at Caiden.

"Give Mark the child, Phil."

I just stared at Mark.

He saw that there was something different about me. I did too. I realized that my face just looked more radiant, looking at the puddle of water near me, the reflection of me, I wasn't dull…I was glowing. I finally allowed a bit of happiness to circle around my heart in the birth of my twin baby boys.

"Phil, come over here…" Caiden said, there was just something in his voice—

"Go with Caiden, Phil."

Caiden grabbed onto my arm and pulled me toward him, taking me deep into the forest as I realized that we were walking away from them for a while. Caiden just stared down at me, those eyes just never left my face… "So, how are the babies? You seem to be very excited to have them."

"Yes, yes, I am."

He stopped by a waterfall and sat down and I reluctantly sat down beside him. I didn't feel uneasy or anything. I was relaxed but mainly because I was talking about my twin babies, the only thing that made me feel alive, that something so beautiful could be made in me…it was the only thing that made me want to go on through this horrible life of nothingness. Then he just looked at me, stared at me.

I looked back.

I didn't know where the campsite was but Caiden's face twitched, in a matter that meant that he knew where it was…but there was just something in his eyes that told me that something was going to break. I just knew that the little piece of happiness and joy had to be torn away from me. I just knew it…I could feel the tears start up again and the Caiden slapped me, making me jolt upwards as I cupped my cheek then I felt a tear cascade. He slapped me again.

"You know what you are?"

I didn't respond. I was too busy trying to understand this scene of a horror movie. "You know what you are? You are a Nightshifter and yet, you refuse to hate Mark…he's your Master…the closest you'll ever get to Mark is if he decides that he wants to rape you. What did you make him do? Make him drink beer? Or seduced him? What did you do, you little bitch? I knew that Mark wouldn't normally have sex with his pets."

"You…you wanted the baby…"

"NO! I wanted that child after one of yours died to continue our tradition but why did you intercourse with our dear Mark anyways? I knew that he wouldn't dare do it. I knew it was your fault. I knew that you changed it all…Madison was calm for a while and then you showed up and God, she was just so jealous of you…she knew you were different, she knew you'd betray, she knew all of this and yet you still refuse to mend your ways even if you knew that you weren't in danger…that everyone else was in danger too. You selfish little whore."

I didn't receive a slap. Instead, his boot met my stomach and I felt everything in me crunch up inside, I wanted to vomit up my blood again but nothing happened and I continued to stare at him as he grabbed onto my face and made me stare at him. "You aren't going to ruin Mark's career…no, you aren't a proper Nightshifter. We should change you…brain surgery…" he slipped his finger underneath my chin. "You still have a bit of Jeff and we will change that. You'll be completely one hundred percent you, you little whore and if you ever try to make a move on Mark…"

I just stared at him and nodded my head. "Fernando and Jonathon-"

"They're not yours anymore."

I felt tears spring towards my eyes. "But…but…they're my children! You can't take them away from me…" he hit me as hard as he could have, punched me so hard that I felt as if everything was ripped apart from me and I stared down at the waterfall as the tears cascaded down my cheeks and then Caiden stood up, kicking my back and almost making me fall inside.

"Follow me, slut."

He was taking me out of the forest. Mark told me that wasn't safe but Caiden didn't care.

And neither did I anymore.

He shoved me inside of a room and locked me there. I didn't know how long I spent in this Goddamn room but I spent so much time just there, and then when I thought I was going to rot in this room for good, then a male came in…a Doctor and he told me to lay down so that he could sedate me…

Even through the blackness, I felt the pain stir in my blood.

I just couldn't open my eyes.

Not for a while.

I thought of Mark. I thought of this perfect haven of us, entwined in perfection…I thought of Fernando and Jonathon, happy children growing up, with a pretty garden in the backyard, in which they'd play around, happy and laughing, Fernando's head on Jonathon's shoulder as they walked around, giggling and laughing…happy…so very happy….and I wanted to see them. I really did.

They were a piece of me…and a piece of Mark…

Then when I finally was able to open my eyes, I realized that Mark was standing there, with a horrified look on his face and I tried to stand up but I couldn't. I tried to think but I couldn't. I was in searing pain, everything just washed over me as Mark grabbed onto Caiden's shoulders, 'this wasn't part of the plan!"

"Your little pet isn't allowed this. He can't be a Nightshifter—"

"But who knew what else you might've taken away from him!? You might have not taken all of Jeff's desires. Maybe his desire for me was his very own developed desire that found itself with Jeff's body…" Mark cupped my cheek and I stared at him then back at Matt, holding Jonathon, while Jeff was holding Fernando, both of them tucked into blankets of green and yellow, sleepsuits made of purple and orange, and I wanted to hold them so bad…I didn't know what I was demented off but then my shoulders jerked. My head twisted. My head was spinning and my stomach churned. The pain took over me like a wave of horror; sorrow that hit me…devoured me and nothing was left of me.

Mark held onto me closely, brushing his fingers into my hair, his soft words lulled me… "God, Phil, are you okay? What did that bastard do to you?"

"I…" I couldn't speak.

Then I felt the most impossible type of pain, every cell in me just jolt, a pain shot through my spine, burned my head and I let out horrible screams that made my throat so dry and I couldn't see and then…just everything was breaking and…and…I thought I could see the world in two colors, blue and black…then all I could remember was blacking out once more.

When I woke up, I woke up in a fizzled world.

The pain just wasn't there.

Nothing was there.

Mark was beside me.

And so were my babies…

But I felt nothing.

I hit my head over the head and I wanted to scream but there was no pain at all…and I couldn't feel happy when I thought of Mark and everything was just blocked out of me, every emotion…

I let another scream rip from my throat.

Mark woke up, horrified and rushed towards my side, looking down at me. "What's wrong, my darling? Pet? What's wrong, baby?" I just stared at him, confused, I'd never seen him so worried for me…but I still couldn't understand anything. I just couldn't feel anything. His touch meant nothing to me…

I wanted to hide away from this world until nobody could see me… I didn't want to be seen…like this monster that didn't care… I…I didn't—

"Pet…"

Next chapter will be 'Shadow'. :D

X Sam.