[IMPORTANT A.N - If you read the last chapter quickly after it was posted, there was a mistake and some of it disappeared, so, please check you read the end of the previous chapter]
Hey guys! I know Mikael sucks! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the next instalment.
Please review and let me know if you are enjoying it! I have a bit free time, and some really exciting things coming up for the story, so lots of lovely reviews will defin inspire me to get my head down and work on it))
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She must have been exhausted, or simply did not wish to speak to him, for Caroline did not open her eyes again until the carriage stopped. He had been watching her sleep, feeling wretched and alone, needing nothing more than her smile, or her touch, anything to show him she would not hate him forever. He needed her understanding and compassion, her ability to forgive what should be unforgivable. He needed her to believe in him one last time. Yet, he knew he did not deserve that forgiveness, that he had purposefully withheld what he knew. That he had succumbed to his own selfish wants once more. He put his arms under her, meaning to carry her inside, but she stirred, sitting up and pushing him back.
"I am awake" she murmured, running her hands over her hair, restoring order. He watched silently as she prepared herself, then looked to him.
"Well?" she said and he spurred himself into action. Opening the door, he stepped down, turning immediately to help her. She took his hand, but quickly let go as her feet touched the ground and she turned away to inspect the house. It was smaller than the Mikaelson's estate, yet grander, which she had hardly thought possible. It looked fresher too, as though he had spent time improving it. It was dark, and flaming torches lit the path to the house. The staff were all standing out on display, ready to meet their new mistress. She waited for Klaus to take her arm and they walked along the line, she smiled at them, hoping to make a good first impression. Reaching the top, she was introduced to the head butler and housekeeper, very capable looking people. Next, Klaus brought her into the house. It was warm and she could see cavernous fires burning in fire places. There was a lot of beautiful, coloured glass, catching the candle light. There were also a lot of plants around the place, and then there was the art. There was art everywhere. Colours abounding, great paintings, so huge in size, she could not believe they hadn't been painted in those exact spots. There were also artefacts of travel, Persian rugs, Indian masks and Chinese lacquer. The house was tasteful, luxurious, cultured and beautiful. She looked around, aware that as she studied the hall, he studied her.
"Is it to you taste?" he asked
"You are a collector" she stated, seeing the meticulous detail and care which each of his pieces were presented and kept.
"I suppose I am"
"You like to collect beautiful things..." she said softly, and he could immediately see where she was going with the line of questions.
"Caroline -" he said his tone tortured.
"I am tired. Please, allow me to rest." she said, quietly, not wanting the new servants to realise something was amiss between them already. He looked at her, frustrated, then motioned for the bags to be fetched.
"Of course, I shall show you upstairs." he said, offering her his arm as she started up the stairs. There were few doors on the upper floor and she wondered at the layout of the house.
"I shall give you a tour tomorrow, if you wish. Westmere is an unusual home. My father built it for solitude, a place to escape the city, and company, it does not accommodate many, despite it's size. It has been designed to give the most space and luxury to a small number." he explained as they reached a set of double doors. Opening them, they stepped in, and he saw the staff had already lit the fire and candles, which made him relieved. The room looked warm and inviting. It had at it's centre a massive fourposter bed. A huge fire place dominated one wall, while the one opposite was almost entirely covered in windows, which lead out onto a balcony. There were two dressing rooms, leading of the bedroom, a female and male one. There there was a bathroom, next to them. Caroline walked into the room, pulling her coat from her shoulders tiredly. She felt Klaus's hands cover hers.
"Allow me" he said and she pulled away.
"I'd rather not" she said, walking away from him to inspect the dressing rooms.
"Caroline, we must talk about this" he said and she turned to face him.
"I know. But not tonight. I cannot tonight." she said, and he could hear the exhaustion in her voice. She glanced at the bed, and saw to her horror the servants had spread fresh flowers on the bed. She stared at them and Klaus turned to look too. The romantic scene made a mockery of them for a second.
"Are there not separate rooms? For man and wife? I thought it was an English custom" she said. He shook his head.
"Westmere is unusual, it is a place of intimacy. If you want... I shall sleep in the guest bedroom" he said.
"No" she said, and he looked up in surprise at her, his heart leaping at her words, was she forgiving him already?
"I do not wish the servants to know we are at odds. On our wedding night no less." she said with a bittersweet smile. Of course, he realised, of course she could not forgive him like that.
"There is a couch, in my dressing room." he offered and was rewarded with a slight smile.
"Thank you" she said, unwrapping her shawl and taking off her gloves. A knock at the door signalled that their cases had arrived. Clearing his throat, he opened the door and began directing the footmen into place with them. Caroline came over to supervise the unpacking of her things with a maid. He realised they would have to promote someone to be her lady's maid. A while later he could see she was wilting, and announced that the rest of the unpacking would have to be the next day. Closing the door behind the departing help, he looked Caroline who was unpinning her hair.
"Are you hungry?"
She shook her head, wordlessly and he cast about for something else to say. He wanted to grab her and kiss her, remind her of their connection... he wanted to fall to his knees before her, and tell her the whole truth, in all it's ugliness and have no more secrets between them. But she had asked for some time, and the least he could do was give it to her. He hesitated, seeing her eyes find his in the mirror.
"Good night." she said shortly, returning her attention to untangling the complicated wedding style of her hair.
"Good night" he replied, going to his dressing room, and shutting the door, feeling like a dog who was slinking off with it's tail between it's legs.
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The soft sound of clothes rustling woke Caroline from the deepest sleep she had had in weeks. The room was growing light with morning sun, and she cracked eyes open a touch. A maid was setting the fire quietly. She sat up, noticing that Klaus had brought his clothes through, making it look as though he had slept beside her.
"What time is it?" Caroline asked, and the maid jumped, turning quickly.
"It is... a little before 8, Milady." she said, bobbing into a curtesy, Caroline frowned at the unusual address.
"Please, just call me Caroline."
"Lady Caroline." the maid repeated, turning back to her fire. Caroline sighed and swung her legs out of bed. She pulled on her dressing gown and walked over the the wall of windows. Suddenly the maid appeared beside her, sweeping back the heavy floor-length drapes with a smile.
"Allow me, Lady Caroline."
"I am just Caroline. What is your name?"
"It's Sophie, milady"
"Well, Sophie, please call me Caroline."
"I couldn't possibly" the maid said, looking aghast, and returned to the fireplace again. Caroline turned to look out, and gasped as the panorama before her stole her breath away. There was a deep valley, tree covered hills on each side, with a meandering river that wandered along it's base, pooling in a large lake, just visible in the distance between the hills. All aflame with autumn, it seemed too beautiful to absorb just then. She notice the balcony and turned the handle of the door, stepping out into the brisk air, it smelled clean and full of nature, and she breathed deeply, closing her eyes, let the sunshine rest on her face. Opening her eyes, she looked to the rest of the estate, seeing a handsome looking stables in the distance. She also saw a beautiful green house, and another building, with a chimney, that smoke was already puffing out off. She heard a shout and looked toward it, seeing it came from the stables.
Suddenly, Klaus walked out of it's huge doors, dressed in riding attire. This consisted of buckskin breeches, tall brown riding boots, a shirt and over the top a thick, dark green tailcoat, and she couldn't deny, they fit him well. He held in his hands the reigns of a horse which he was leading out the stable. A groom was following them, carrying the saddle. They stopped, and conversed as the groom fitted the saddle on the horse. She could see Klaus seemed at ease here, at the estate and with the horse, as he ran his hands over it gently, speaking to it. It was a dappled grey with delicate ankles and a beautiful mane, it hardly seemed like a man's horse. He mounted, letting the groom adjust the length of the stirrups and then when he stepped back, the horse moved gently away. Klaus sat the horse well, and seemed to be taking it very slowly, after a while coaxing it into a trot then into a light canter. He turned toward the house, and Caroline saw him look up at her. She stiffened, as their eyes met. The horse same to a stop, and still he sat, looking up at her. The horse, losing interest in the ride, lowered her head and began to eat the grass, and Klaus slid off the back of the beautiful animal. His face wrung her heart, as he looked up at her with such crushed hope. She took a last breath of the bracing air and turned back inside.
"Oh! Lady Caroline, you shouldn't go out there without any slippers on, you'll catch your death!" Sophie said as she took Caroline's robe from her and offered her some light slippers, hand embroidered with flowers. Murmuring her thanks, she went to the last room she had not yet explored the bathroom. Coming back out, she looked at Sophia.
"What is that room, off the bathroom?"
"That's a water closet and a..."
"A what?"
"A water closet, invented by Alexander Cummings, his master says. It replaces a chamber pot" Sophie elaborated, seeing the confused look on Caroline's face.
"It's very modern" the maid went on, going to stand beside Caroline at the bathroom door, looking into the state of the art bathroom. It had red cooper pipes running around the walls, heating it, the titles were warm to the touch, and a very large tub sat in the middle of the room. There was also large, matching wash bowls and mirrors against one wall, and another wall of windows, offering another amazing view of the country. She loved it, running her hands over the cool, clean surfaces. Sophie left, closing the door behind her and Caroline went to the wash bowl, poured some cool water in it, splashing her face. Properly washing of the residue of the hurtful night before.
"Caroline" his low voice startled her from behind the closed door. She reached for a towel and patted her face with it. Taking a deep breath, she replied.
"Yes? What is it?" she asked without excitement.
"I was hoping, that we could talk. I wish very much to explain." he said and waited for her response. She studied her face in the mirror, the dark circles under her eyes, the crease on her brow. She felt weighted under.
"Caroline?" he asked again after a while , when it seemed likely she was not planning to respond.
Suddenly the door opened, and he stepped back. Caroline looked tired, and worn and her carefully blank expression tugged at his heart.
"I need some time, I hope you will permit me it." she murmured, resisting his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to touch her, but withheld himself.
"But, we must discuss this... the longer we wait..." he said, trailing off as he struggled with what to say. That the longer she made him wait before he was allowed to explain, the further he feared she would drift from him. That further they would become from the dark, warm kitchen, and her willing lips on hers, the further from the tentatively happy smile she offered him in the church.
"Time will change nothing. I ask this last thing of you. Allow me some time to understand my feelings, sort through my emotions. The last few weeks have been far from easy, and this seems to be the proverbial straw. I wish you would understand."
"But, you will feel better if we talk"
"You mean you will" she challenged gently, and he frowned, looking down into her averted face, her eyes evading his maddeningly. He took a deep breath, and stepped back.
"As you wish" he said, and bowed a little, turning to leave. Caroline watched him go, her heart heavy and confused. She did need some time, it had all been too much, and she appreciated that he seemed willing to give it to her. Changing into a loose informal gown, she started to sort through her possessions, hoping that some of her own things around her would give her comfort.
Her present from Rebekah had been a bridal trousseau and the clothes were breathtaking, and far more luxurious than she had ever worn. Sophie came in and helped her, and they worked side by side comfortably. There were several bags contained in the bottom of a case and Caroline sat them on the bed, realising they were small gifts from sisters. The first, one from Elena, was a hand embroidered baby blanket. It was decorated with tiny flowers and spelled out Caroline and Klaus's names in yellow thread. The next from Katherine, was a genuine Kashmir shawl. It was a soft duck egg blue and the softest thing she had ever held. The last was from Bonnie, and wrapping it, saw a reticule, matching the shawl. Caroline hoped Bonnie had not gone to major expense over the item. It made a strange clinking sound as she turned it in her hands. She opened the clasp a the top, and sank her hand in to investigate. There was a glass bottle inside. Caroline pulled it out and peered at it. It held dark herbs, it was stock full of them. She uncapped the top and smelled them. The smell was familiar but Caroline could not place it. Caroline put it back in the purse, absent-mindedly as she thought of the smell, so familiar.
Setting it down, she smiled as Sophie began to help her unpack the rest of her cases, and the day soon slipped away into a whirl or organisation. Klaus's possessions had to be put away also, and it seemed he did not have a valet present at the estate. Caroline supervised the sorting of his clothes, the task seeming too intimate considering their present relationship. His clothes smelled like him, and she left his dressing room as fast as possible.
In the evening, she ate in her room, and then wrote to her friends and family, telling them of their safe arrival and how they were settling in. When she finished, she felt tired, and decided to go striaght to bed. As she lay there, about to blow out the candle, she realised that she hadn't told Klaus when they would speak. It had to be soon, that she knew, it was wrong to drag it out. Yet, there was a reluctance there, and fear. Fear of the truth. The whole situation was so confused. Even if he had not been complicit, as his father had implied, something she was hardly inclined to believe on his words alone, he had withheld it from her, leading to the awful scene at the wedding. Why had he put her in that position? Why hadn't he realised that only by being honest with each other could Mikael's power diminish. Closing her eyes, she pushed him from her mind, and tried to sleep.
Hours later, after rest and sleep still continued to evade her, she heard his footsteps on the stairs, they were heavier than usual. He hesitated outside the door, and then pushed it open slowly. She heard him walk through the room, heading toward the dressing room. Suddenly, he paused, and even with her eyes closed, she could sense him looming over her. She forced her breathing to sound regular and even, keeping up all appearances of being asleep. After a long moment, she felt the bed dip under his weight as he sat on it. She struggled to remain motionless and keep her face relaxed. Then, she felt his hand on her hair. It moved slowly, reverently, lightly brushing back the wisps that fell on her face, and pulling the blanket up to her chin. Suddenly, he was leaning closer, and before she could move, she felt him lightly press a kiss to her forehead. He lingered, with his nose scrapping her skin, his lips pressing gently into her.
"Forgive me" his whisper was almost silent. As soon as she heard it, his touch was gone, and he was quietly standing, making his way to the dark doorway of his room. She lay there in the dark, feeling her heart pounding, her face on fire from the feel of his lips.
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The next morning, the maid arrived with a tray for breakfast, and Caroline got up, feigning an enthusiasm for another day, that she did not feel. As she sat to eat, a knock on the door startled her, and she could feel her heartbeat pick up.
"Yes?" she called through the door.
"I am sorry to interrupt your meal. I am only here to ask if, after breakfast, you could join me outside?"
"I was planning to take a bath..." she said gripping the edge of the table and waited as he shifted outside the door.
"Can I prevail upon you... just to join me for a while? You can take a bath later, I shan't disturb you." his voice was soft, and she hated to picture the expression on it. She looked at herself in the mirror, a newlywed bride, on her first week of married life. This was not now she wanted to spend it.
"Caroline... please." he urged and she sighed, thrusting her hands through her hair she blew out her breath.
"Very well. What should I wear? What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to teach you how to ride. Wear something old." he said.
Caroline strode out of the house, across the terrace and through the manicured portion of the gardens. She made for the stables up ahead, seeing the dappled grey grazing, still saddled, and another horse, a magnificent black, without a spot of colour on him anywhere, which was at least twice the size of the other horse tethered to a fence post. She slowed as she approached them, trying to look friendly as both horses looked up to see her approaching.
"Hello beautiful" she murmured, reaching a hand out to touch the elegant grey, who snorted as she rubbed her nose. Getting braver she ran her hand up it's sweeping neck and the horse stamped its feet with pleasure, turning it's head to nuzzle her. She squealed at the strange sensation, her eyes dancing with laughter as she returned her hands and continued her ministrations.
"She likes you" Caroline turned to see Klaus, leaning against the stable door watching her. He pushed off and started toward her as she turned back to the horse.
"Is there any creature you cannot tame?"
"I know of one for certain." she muttered, as his hand joined her on the horse's neck, his fingers expertly soothing it.
"I would not be so certain." he murmured, so close to her, the urge to touch her almost unbearable.
"Whose horse is this? Rebekah's?" she asked.
"Yours... it is my wedding present to you. In truth, it was engagement gift, but I was forbidden from seeing you... and it never quite came to pass"
"Mine? And what have I done to merit such an extravagant gift?" she said, glancing up at him, a dry smile on her lips.
"I do not require any action from you to want to shower you with gifts..." he murmured. She turned to him then, tilting her head to the side and looking at him speculatively.
"You cannot buy my forgiveness you know."
"I am not trying to"
"You cannot buy my love either."
"I mean to earn both" he said determinedly.
"In that case, I am glad you have youth on your side." she snapped and moved off toward the other horse. He followed, suddenly looking her up and down.
"May I ask what you are wearing?" Caroline glanced down, her riding habit had not been unpacked yet and it was brand new. Instead she had had Sophie fetch some of Klaus's old riding breeches and and a shirt, adding her own warm fitted jacket and black leather boots.
"You said to wear old clothes" she stated, as though it were obvious. Klaus couldn't help his eyes wandering up her legs, where the old breeches showed their long, willowy lengths. Her hair was plaited, with little blond wisps escaping already, and it snaked down her back. He opened his mouth to speak, and found no words. Then, she turned to his horse, and he was literally struck dumb by the curve of her upper thighs and hips. Glancing over her shoulder at him, she noticed his mute expression and narrowed her eyes at him. Swallowing, he approached her and cautioned her.
"Lelantos is not as friendly as Theia, I am afraid, in fact he does not take well to strangers."
"Lelantos, titan of hunters and skill, and Theia - " Caroline said
"...titan of light." Klaus finished,impressed, watching Caroline hold her hand out for Lelantos to smell, the massive horse looked at her a little curiously, then, all of a sudden, pushed his silken nose into her hand. Caroline laughed with surprise, her face lighting up, she looked to Klaus, and he eagerly accepted that happy look. Coming to her, he stroked the horse as it stamped and snorted, happy to be receiving her attention. He could sympathise.
"I am surprised you did not just call them Hades and Persephone" she said sarcastically and he bit back a smile,
"I cannot claim it did not cross my mind." he acknowledged and laughed at her derisive snort.
"Looks like he likes me also." she said with a self satisfied smile, as the horse turned more toward her, nuzzling her with it's nose, tucking it between her shoulder and chin, Klaus actually envied the damn animal for a moment.
"Well, he is male after all..." he said and saw how his words made her frown a little and pull away.
"What did I just say that upset you?" he asked, hoping she would be honest with him.
"You made me think about Tyler Lockwood." she stated unflinchingly, and he resisted the urge to curl his fists.
"You let me hate him. You let me think he was manipulating me, when it was your own father all along." she surmised, turning to him and giving him a challenging look. He met it, without looking away, she deserved that much.
"Yes." he admitted, and saw fire flash in her eyes
"Why?" she demanded.
"You already know why"
"No, I do not. I want you to tell me. That should be simple enough, should it not?" she said, folding her arms over her chest.
He looked away, shame and embarrassment building in his chest. Just as simple as untangling a lifetime of insecurities and fears, only as simple as laying bare his wretched, twisted heart, in all it's selfishness and ugliness, that was simply all she asked. His face twisted in a wry smile, as he attempted to change the subject.
"I thought we were going to ride" he gestured to the horses. She studied his face, her eyes searching his face for answers that were too well concealed to find.
"Did you pay that man to take his injuries to a doctor?"
"Yes"
"When?"
"The morning you were about to depart, when I went to get your luggage... after you had already decided to stay. He approached me, and revealed his true employer. I knew none of it before, I swear to you"
"But the ship had not yet departed?" he dropped his head, letting his breath out, knowing there was no way to lessen that part of his guilt.
"No. The ship had not departed." he looked up and saw her face, she was frowning at the ground. Her look cut his heart into pieces, and he forced a blasé smile to his face.
"Reconsidering your lofty opinion on hate, my dear?" he asked, his callous tone hiding his fear of her answer.
She considered his words, turning them over in her mind. Finally she looked up at him, and saw the same man before her as the man who had come to her room that night weeks ago, but also the same man who had warmed milk for his younger siblings, and drew charcoal goddesses with her eyes.
She walked steadily up to him, seeing his hands work, his nerves making him sway. Stopping a short distance away she continued her scrutiny, seeing his discomfort grow, a pink tinge starting to warm his cheeks as his blue eyes fought to keep their insolent mask.
"You would like that, wouldn't you?" she asked, seeing her words hit against that mask, making it tremble.
"It would be so much easier for you, if I hated you. You would have nothing to be held accountable for, you could hate me back and go on hating yourself." he ground his teeth at her soft words, a muscle ticking in his jaw as he sought calm.
"You should hate me" he ground out, his voice an accusation.
"Maybe, but I do not. I am disappointed in you though, and that is much harder to bear." she finished, seeing his mask slip for a moment, showing his pain and bewilderment etched as clearly as day for one moment and he looked lost and afraid. It wrung her heart, but she turned away from him, walking back toward the house, calling back over her shoulder.
"I do not think I am in the mood for riding after all"
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Klaus watched the clock hand move toward midnight, taking another drink of whiskey, decided that he had stayed away long enough for her to be asleep. Her words earlier had completely thrown him. He had been expecting tears and anger, perhaps some airborne objects... not this... withdrawal. Disappointment. He recalled her words... disappointment worse than hate? He thought not. But now, after a day alone, he felt very confused indeed. Hate, that could be brought around, but disappointment...how did one recover from that? He wondered. Standing, he loosened his cravat and started up the stairs. It was dark, the servants long in bed. He hesitated at the door, and then opened it quietly. The room was very dark, the heavy drapes shutting out the moonlight. Walking carefully, he made his way across the room, pausing by the bed. The solid darkness made it impossible to see her, but just knowing she was there, soft and warm, made him swallow thickly. Pushing on, he stripped off his clothes as he went, trying to keep up the facade that he was sleeping there. He knew it could not last long. Caroline would need a lady's maid and he, a valet. They would not be able to hide their sleeping arrangements then. He fumbled in the dark onto the settee on his dressing room. It was hard and uncompromising. Closing his eyes, he willed himself into a dreamless sleep.
"No! Father!" her cry sent him bolting upright in his bed. His heart pounding for a moment, he looked around, seeing only the darkness of his windowless room.
"Do not leave me!" her voice was strangled and sobs caught in her throat. Klaus sprang out of bed and ran through to the bedroom The room was bathed in a cold, pale light, and his well adjusted eyes could make out Caroline's form on the bed. She was contorted, her body rigid with fear, her hands clawing at the bed clothes, as she turned from side to side feverishly. He looked at her in alarm, unsure of what to do, how to help.
"No!" she gasped, twisting to the side, almost falling from the bed. He was at her side in an instant and pulled her back onto the soft mattress. She whimpered at his touch, and her hands clasped onto him, holding on reverently. She muttered something and he leaned close to hear it.
"Do not leave me... please." she was whispering and Klaus frowned, wondering what she could be seeing behind her clenched eyelids.
He sat on the bed, to her side, and tried to lay her head back on the pillow,
"Shhh, Caroline, I am not leaving, you are safe." he murmured, brushing her hair of her face, as it stuck with perspiration against her brow. She kept a tight hold of him, and suddenly, startled him by pulling her upper body against his. Burrowing in his shoulder with her face, she pressed into him, and he felt her tremors lessen. He kept stroking her hair and felt her start to relax. It was miraculous that she had not woken herself up, he thought, seeing her tense face smooth out. She took a deep breath, and relaxed against him with a finality that seemed to indicate that the worst had passed. He suddenly realised that she was lying against him, seeking comfort from him, and his presence had helped her. He took a steadying breath, his heart beating a little strangely. He lifted his own legs onto the bed, resting back, and gathering her tightly into his chest, pulling the cover over them. He could almost feel her heart, beating against his chest, and he closed his eyes, that small vibration bringing him such a sense of responsibility and joy. She was trusting him, whether she knew it or not. For the first time in days, he felt his face crease in a smile. She had not shut him out her heart, all he had to do was find a way back in.