Every year there is a competition between freshmen from different colleges, to make sure they get the school's spirit. Alex is a freshman, Marissa is the sophomore in charged of training the girls soccer team.

Don't own anything.

Thoughts are in italic.

Flashbacks are in bold.

Thanks to bigblusky, .I Talk-2-Evil Little Pixies., miralinda, Dp15 and No need for the reviews.

Really really sorry for the long wait. Actually, this chapther is not done, part of it isnt finished yet, but i decided to post it the begining here due to someone's lack of patience. lol. Its short, but hopefully its better than nothing.

bigblusky, truthfully, i hadnt meant to reveal that part of the story, and i'm still wondering how you found out that something big is about to happen (no, i wasnt refering to this chapter). Seriously, how did you pick up on it? i'm amazed. lol. But the especifics, you will have to wait and see.

.I Talk-2-Evil Little Pixies., i'm glad you liked it, but it is about to make a turn, as somebody already figured out, i hope you like that too.

miralinda, alex giving into Ryan (it did cross my mind to create a relationship between them, along with all the others that already exist, but i figured it was gonna get too complicated, so my official response is)? nah, never. okay, they say never say never. But the possibility of that hapening is almost none.

Dp15, you do know that i was joking right? sometimes i forget that those who doesnt know me might take me seriously. If you are ever in doubt, assume that i was joking, i probably was. Most of my friends do it, and now i have to warn them when i'm being serious. lol. Actually, i was wondering why nobody had comented on that yet. To me it was pretty clear, but before you said it, i was thinking of ways to make it less suble 'cause nobody seemed to pick up on that. Either way, i hope that you like this.

No need, patience is a virtue, one that i was not born with, and seeing that neither were you, this is the begining of the next chapter that i decided to split in two so that you can relax a little bit. lol.

lets stop stalling and get to the chapter, before no need decides she or he have had enough and does something drastic. lol.

Chapter 21 – The Kübler-Ross Model

The Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as the five stages of grief, was first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying. It describes, in five discrete stages, a process by which people deal with grief and tragedy, especially when diagnosed with a terminal illness or catastrophic loss. Kübler-Ross claimed these steps do not necessarily come in the order noted, nor are all steps experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two. Often, people will experience several stages in a "roller coaster" effect—switching between two or more stages, returning to one or more several times before working through it. – Wikipedia

- Denial -

After her conversation with Jodie, Alex had set her mind in talking to Marissa about their situation. She wanted to discuss what they actually were. She had questions that needed answering, like were they exclusive? Ryan aside, of course. Did Marissa ever saw a future for them or was it just for fun? Or how did Marissa actually feel for the blonde?

But after running into the brunette at her boyfriend's apartment, subsequent to said brunette assuring her that she would be having dinner with her mother, Alex decided it was best not to press the issue. At least not for now, she was going to let the tension of that night blow over and then they could discuss their present and future.

Because to Alex there was nothing wrong.

It had been a weird night, she could admit that, and Alex had hated seeing them together. Alex hated even more that Marissa had blown her off to be with him, but Alex knew it was part of the situation she had accepted. Alex had said yes when Marissa asked her to be the other woman, and she did so knowing that there would be moments like that.

Moments that she would have to witness the happy couple together without saying a word.

Alex could get past it, she would get past it. It had been a common occurrence, and it wouldn't change a thing in their relationship. Everything was perfect, and Alex continued her routine like she normally would.

And she ignored the fact that Marissa would not meet her eyes from across the room.

Alex overlooked the reality that her calls to the brunette went unanswered.

The blonde even disregarded the small detail that, for the next week after the night Alex met Marissa at Ryan's apartment, the blonde only saw her supposedly girlfriend on soccer practices and even then the brunette seemed to avoid her.

But there was one thing that she could not simply dismiss. When Alex finally got Marissa alone, the brunette barely acknowledged her, leaving the blonde after no more than a couple of hushed words.

Several times.

- Anger -

That did not sit well with Alex. She had done nothing wrong, why should she be the one being punished? If anything, it had to be the other way around. Alex was supposed to be avoiding Marissa, and the brunette was the one that was supposed to be chasing her.

After all, Marissa was the one that had blown her over for a guy she didn't even care enough to stay faithful to. Why would Marissa lie to her when it came to Ryan, if he was the one she was with only for appearances?

That's what Marissa kept telling the blonde, that it was the blonde girl that she really liked. So, shouldn't Marissa lie to him to be with Alex, and sneak up on her boyfriend to be with her?

Of course, there was no need to advertise the fact that she would be with her boyfriend (ok, in Alex's mind there was no need for the boyfriend to exist, but that is beside the point), but Marissa didn't have to blatantly lie about it.

Why on Earth would she lie? It seems as if it's just a joke to her.

With that thought in mind, Alex tried to stay away from Marissa, and ignore the brunette. She could say she went as far as being rude to the brunette (something Alex never thought she could do) when they did have to make a conversation, meaning when their coach paired them up together on their practices.

But she couldn't hold on to that for long, and soon she gave in.

- Bargain -

As Marissa stopped answering her calls, the blonde began sending the brunette messages on her cell phone, telling her that nothing was wrong and that they could be sneakier, if Marissa thought someone was suspecting something. Alex wrote to Marissa that she would be nicer to Ryan if that was what she wanted, or not see him at all if that was what the brunette preferred.

And when Alex didn't get a response, she sent several messages asking Marissa what she had done wrong, what she had to change. She continued, telling Marissa that she could find them somewhere else to meet, or even see each other less, as long as they did see each other. Alex offered anything and everything she could think of. Money, presents, special wishes.

But after not getting a response even after offering the brunette a daily supply of her favorite pie, Alex gave up and stopped with the messages.

- Depression -

That was when Alex locked herself in her apartment, not ever going out, and no one ever going in. She lost count of how many unanswered calls she had, or messages on her answering machine, or how many hours Jodie spent banging at her door, yelling at her to open it.

The only outside communication was to her parents, just so they didn't send a search party after her, but even that was kept short.

Alex didn't shower.

Alex didn't brush her teeth.

Alex didn't comb her hair.

Alex didn't even change her clothes.

The only time that she did move was when she couldn't stand her hunger (then she heated a pre cooked meal) and to sit by her door whenever Jodie dropped by. The Latino girl had made a habit of visiting Alex at least once a day, and as Alex didn't answer the door, Jodie would simply stand next to it and tell Alex random things that happened to her.

Alex liked to hear those stories, they were the highlight of her day.

One afternoon Alex was so lost in herself that she found herself eyeing the window with too much interest.

She wasn't sure if a fall of the 6th floor could actually kill her, but that was enough of a wakeup call.

The blonde ran around the house.

She trying to find as many locks as she possibly could, and set them all up on every window she could find. Alex wanted to make it so that it was impossible to open them.

Then, she took all of their keys and flushed them down the toilet, breathing a little easier. Immediately after that, Alex called Jodie, begging for her help, and the Latino girl came faster than Alex would have imagined.

This time the blonde did answer the door.

- Acceptance -

If Alex had had any doubts on whom Marissa would chose given the necessity to take a side, Alex knew now that the brunette's choice was her boyfriend. It had taken Alex a while to get used to the idea.

After all, she liked to believe that her fears were completely unfounded, and Marissa would choose her without a second thought. But that wasn't the case, and Alex realized that she mourned the death of her dream of them being a real couple.

And that's when Alex allowed herself to start dealing with what had happened.

Slowly, Alex began her healing process. First, Jodie was the only one allowed inside her apartment. She saw the locks on the windows, but she never questioned what they were doing there.

She didn't need to ask.

The Latino girl would come every afternoon after work and spend the night at Alex's house, she didn't like the idea of the blonde spending the night alone, and it was not like there wasn't enough room. They would talk, or watch a movie, play a stupid board game, and maybe just be in each other presence.

Jodie began bringing Alex's books and assignments, and copies of Alex's friends' notes from her classes so that the blonde would catch up. She convinced Alex to shower, and clean herself up, and eat at least 3 times a day. She had bought the blonde food that had been almost over.

Eventually, more people were gradually allowed inside the house, and then Anna would come over almost as often as Jodie and the three of them would spend their nights doing silly stuff.

When the time came for her to leave the house, Alex did so by starting slowly. First, she would only go to the market to buy food, then she would go help Jodie move some heavy stuff on the Latino's place (magically, said stuff had disappeared when Alex got there), and walk around the city with Anna by her side.

Finally, Alex decided it was time for her go back to her usual activities. She had to explain to all her professors what had happened (she didn't go into much detail), and most of them understood what had happened and gave her some extra work so that she could make up for all she had missed.

Finally, Alex was getting her life back on track.

And that's when she got the call.

The blonde stared at the screen, seeing what she had desired for who knows how long. 'Marissa calling' it said.

"Aren't you gonna answer it?" Anna asked.

It was everything she wanted, everything she desired for who-knows-how-long, but Alex took a second to think, and she wasn't sure it was a good idea to dive back into that anymore. She still had that day printed on her mind, she had actually considered jumping out of the window, but she had asked for help in time. What if this time she was too late? What if Jodie didn't come? What if there weren't enough locks in the house?

"No." She said, as she rejected the call and put it back in her pocket.

Yeap, that's it for now folks. I hope you enjoyed it.

i'll finish Marissa's side of things and post as soon as possible.

Please Review.