The Marauders Discover Fanfiction
Chapter Twenty-One: The First Masterpiece
First Uploaded: September 22nd, 2014
Re-done: January 1st, 2016
Disclaimer: Lol why do I even bother? I don't own Harry Potter, but perhaps the 20 disclaimers I've written clue you in on that one.
…A few hours later…
"So. I'm naming this plan 'Bring Lily and James together'." Sirius said.
Livia snorted. "That's a stupid name, and it's unsubtle as hell. How about… 'Jily'?"
The marauders (minus James) and Livia were sitting in the boy's dormitory (Livia hadn't been in favour of that idea, but, as Sirius had pointed out, it was the only place Lily wasn't going to find them, and James was at quidditch practice, so no chance of him discovering what they were doing).
Sirius nodded approvingly. "Good idea."
Remus, who had been finishing an essay, turned towards them. "Right. So, what information do we have?"
"James announced that he's getting over Lily," Sirius said, groaning. "He says he'll give her a week to make a move, or he'll find someone new."
"I doubt it," Peter said. "He'll never get over Lily."
"I dunno, he sounded pretty determined."
"No way," Livia sighed. "Alright, I have to tell you something. Lily will kill me." She muttered to herself.
"Spit it out, already." Said Sirius, poking her arm whilst simultaneously ripping open a packet of jelly worms with his teeth.
Livia took a deep breath. "Lily realised her feelings for James. She even admitted it to me, and you know how private she usually is."
"WHAT?!" Sirius yelled, jumping up from the bed, slipping on a pair of dirty boxers, making him fall onto the floor with a thud. The boxers slid over the floor and landed a few inches away from Livia.
"Eww!" She shrieked, and fled to the safety of Remus' bed (the only one that was remotely tidy).
"Why didn't you tell me this?" Sirius asked, rubbing his backside.
"It only happened a few hours ago. This is the first opportunity I had to tell you."
Peter stood up. "So, this is the information: James announces he's over Lily, leaving us a week to bring them together. Lily realises she fancies James."
"Well, where's the problem?" Sirius asked. "Lily just goes up to James and tells him, and that's that!"
Livia sighed. "That's the problem. Lily doesn't have the lady-balls to tell James how she feels."
Sirius frowned. "Okay, what shall we do? We can't tell James, he wouldn't believe us…" He flashed Livia a grin, which she returned.
Remus went over to James' book bag, and pulled out the laptop.
"What are you doing?" Peter asked.
"So far, this device has always had a good Fanfiction for whatever purpose we needed, and I think that it might have an answer." Remus said, carefully placing the laptop onto his desk, and opening it.
However, the machine didn't open on any Fanfiction, instead it opened up (although the group didn't know this) an empty Word document.
"What's this?" Sirius asked, starting to panic. "Is it broken? I didn't do it! I swear! Will you be able to fix it? Reparo might work! Please, please work, lovely futuristic device, please!"
"Calm down." Remus said, holding up his hand. Sirius fell silent. "I think…" he paused. "I think this is what authors use to write stories. Look!" He pressed the keyboard, making the screen read:
My name is Remus.
Sirius let out a high-pitched squeal, then cleared his throat and said, "Wow! This is great!" (In a deep, manly voice). "Can I try?"
He pressed the keys, until the screen (in total) said:
My name is nane is Siriuss.
Livia grinned. "Nice spelling."
Sirius jumped. "I forgot you were here! Oh, no, Moony, what have we done? She knows now!"
Livia moved over to the laptop. "I knew about the device before. Lily told me."
Sirius gasped. "What a traitor!"
Livia rolled her eyes. "I think it's fair. I mean, all of you know, why can't Lily have a friend who knows?"
Scowling, Sirius let the matter drop.
"So, can I have a go?" Livia asked.
Sirius grudgingly moved over, letting Livia type the next part. She pushed the backspace until the page was blank, once again.
A letter to Lily and James.
"What are you doing?" Remus asked curiously.
"Obviously, the reason this device opened this thingy is so that we can help Lily and James. So, now we'll write a Fanfiction for them to make them so emotionally-charged that they'll not have any choice to do anything but snog."
"That's a good idea." Remus said. "Shouldn't we write some kind of a plot-outline, though?"
"Why?" Sirius asked, eager to get started.
"Because it would be hypocritical to comment on all those rubbish Fanfictions if ours was just as bad."
Sirius shook his head, and pushed Livia out of the way.
A letter to Lily and James.
Dear Lily and Jamess
you fancyy eachother, so jst snog already11
Remus snorted. "And that was exactly the type of Fanfiction we hated."
"Fine, but these buttons are hard to write with!"
Livia held down the backspace button, clearing the page. "I have a better idea. How about, instead of writing them a letter, making it pretty obvious it was us, we write an actual story? I mean, it will be the best! We know them so well; we could write the best Fanfiction with them ever! Who could do a better characterisation than us, their best friends?"
Remus nodded. "I agree. But we should aim to finish it by today, so let's get started."
Peter, who had quietly observed the scene unfolding, spoke up. "Why don't we just start writing? Then we can read through it later, and correct things."
"Well, I don't know. Oh, alright." Remus agreed when he saw everybody looking at him disappointedly. "But, let's make a few things clear. When does it start?"
"Around now." Sirius answered. "So seventh year."
"What basis are Lily and James on? So friendly acquaintances, or still yelling?"
"Like now." Livia answered.
"And what makes them snog?"
"How about this: The story starts basically now, so she's thinking about how she has feelings for James. Then she meets James and then he's nice to her and they snog." Sirius rattled off.
"That's not half bad!" Remus said approvingly.
Livia sat down in front of the computer. "I'll start writing, shall I? I know Lily best, plus I'm a girl, so I know how she would feel."
The others agreed, so Livia started typing.
Lily looked out of the dormitory window, staring into the forbidden forres.t. She sighed, brushing a strand of red hair out of her eyes. Why was life so complicated)
"Where's the question mark?"
Remus leaned over, and soon found it.
"Lily?" Lily turned around, only to see her best friend, Dorcas Meadows,
"Wait, why her?" Sirius asked. "Lily doesn't even know her!"
"Lily said that either Dorcas or Marlene McKinnon are her best friends in stories, and so I am trying to throw her off our track. She can't find out that we wrote it." Livia explained.
"That's quite smart." Sirius said.
"No need to sound surprised," Livia grumbled.
standing in the doorframe.
"What is it, Dorcas?" Lily asked, picking up her bag and swinging it around her shoulder.
"I need some help. Could you come with me to the library?"
"Do you even need to ask?"
"It's actually pretty easy once you get the hang of using these buttons." Livia said.
Lily said jokingly, but she was distracted. How was Dorcas supposed to know the swirling storm that was raging inside her? How should she know that Lily was feeling so confused? Hoe was
Sirius snorted, and Livia quickly realised the typing mistake she had made. She rolled her eyes and corrected it.
How was she supposed to know that every time Lily closed her eyes, all she could see was a certain messy-haired, hazel eyed individual? That, every time she let her mind wander, it always returned to him?
"You know, Livia, that's pretty good. It definitely would be one of the better Fanfictions, if I read it." Remus said.
"Thanks," Livia smiled, feeling quite proud of her work.
"Can I try?" Sirius asked. Livia sighed and moved.
2Alright, Dori, Ill come withyou, be a little patent." Lily smiled. she lefft the room with her friend,onl y to see James.
"That's rubbish." Remus said honestly. "It reminds me of Reymana. Please, Sirius, let Livia write."
Sirius pouted. "It's not my fault these keys don't work."
Remus rolled his eyes. "Livia, you'd better do it."
Livia moved the screen so that it was pointing towards her. She quickly removed the part Sirius had written, and proceeded to type:
"I'll be down in a second." Lily said, swinging her satchel over her shoulder. "Go ahead without me."
"What's the point of that part?" Peter asked.
Remus grinned at Livia. "Obviously Livia's getting Dorcas to go ahead, so Lily can accidentally bump into James as he is returning from quidditch practice. Good idea."
Dorcas shrugged and left, leaving Lily alone in the dormitory once more.
Lily's gaze drifted outside again, and she caught sight of the players of the quidditch team on their way inside from their practice. This was enough to bring her thoughts back to the person she couldn't get out of her mind.
"Is it subtle enough?" Livia asked Remus.
"Yeah, I think you included just enough foreshadowing for it to be unobvious, but enough to plant the subconscious thought."
Sirius turned to Peter. "Do you have any idea what they are talking about?"
"Literary devices," Livia answered for Peter, before turning back to the story.
She tore her eyes away from the window, and left the dormitory.
"Okay, Remus, do you want to write next?"
Remus nodded and switched places with Livia.
She went down the spiralling stairs, and left the chatter and laughter of the common room behind. Finally, as she stepped out into the significantly cooler corridor, she could think more clearly.
The portraits seemed to be staring holes into her back, and the sound of her shoes on the stone floor seemed ten times louder than usual. And was it just her imagination, or was the corridor much emptier than usual at this time?
"I like the way you're distracting from the matter at hand." Livia said. "That way, it'll be more of a surprise when she meets James. Let me guess: will it be a collision?"
Remus nodded, smiling. "You practically read my mind."
As Lily rounded the corner, she smacked straight into another student. Lily glanced up, opening her mouth to apologize, but found the words stuck in her throat.
"I think you should do the next bit again, Livia. I'm no good at romance."
Livia nodded, and, without further ado, continued the story.
It was James Potter: The boy she couldn't stop thinking of for the last twenty-four hours.
His hair was slightly damp from the shower he had taken after practice, and he smelled wonderful.
"Carter, was that necessary?" Sirius asked.
"What?" Livia asked, surprised.
"The smelling thing…" Sirius said, wrinkling his nose.
"What about it?"
"It's weird." Sirius said dismissively.
"No, it's not. The way you smell will significantly change the way girls look at you, so remember 'Livia's Words of Wisdom' for future reference." After the look Sirius gave her, she raised her hands in defence. "I didn't invent it! It's a fact: Smelling good increases your chances by about 10 percent."
As Livia turned back to the device, Sirius subtly gave himself a quick sniff, decided that he smelled good, and turned his attention back to the story.
A/N: Aaaand there you have it! Their first story! Next chapter will be James and Lily reacting to it (the finished story), so it doesn't get boring.
Review?
Xo
~Coco