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Warning: This is Merthur. No likey, no reading, okay? Good.

Chapter 21

Do You Really Want to Know?

"What were you two doing?"

Silence enveloped between us before I slowly pushed Arthur away, the rigid tense atmosphere almost making us hard to breathe. Morgana was just blinking slowly, her fists were clenched tight and her posture real straight. I didn't bother to see what Arthur was doing because for now, we were both supporting this fear in our hearts.

"Merlin," she suddenly grit out, her eyebrows furrowed deep before she looked at Arthur. "Arthur. I asked a damn question."

"Morgana, I—," Arthur began but the look on her face didn't make him continue. Instead, he just closed his mouth after that before her sharp eyes landed on me.

"Well?" she asked, patience clearly running out from the look on her face. "Am I just going to have to stand here and glare at you idiots all day? Spit it out! Why were you two kissing?" she yelled, her volume increasing at each word at the end making both of us flinch. "Why is my best friend kissing my brother?"

"We're together," I blurted out, unable to hold back the words. I didn't dare to look at Arthur, the fear of what I might see on that man's face held me back from turning to look at him. Instead, my eyes trained on Morgana, waiting for the unexpected dramatic blow-up that I was sure I was going to get anytime now. Silence thickened and followed right after my words as Morgana's eyes widened. The cold, harsh reality somehow cackled evilly in my mind as I waited for her response. Morgana took in a deep breath, her chest heaved upwards before her lips thinned.

Her eyes narrowed sharply and something venomous made way into those orbs. "What does that supposed to mean?" she asked, her voice tight and dark. I bit my bottom lip for a moment before I nodded at her.

"It's true, we're…together," I said slowly as she flicked her eyes from my face to Arthur.

"Is this really true?" she asked. Arthur remained quiet before I noticed he had nodded.

"Yes," he said, his voice not betraying any emotions. "We're dating."

Morgana clamped her lips tightly together before she looked away from her brother, silence beckoning us to make a move. But we didn't, so we let the threatening silence to keep us at the edge of our seats, waiting for whatever that was to come from our beloved friend and in this occasion, a sister. Morgana shuffled from one foot to the other before I saw her shoulders trembling a bit. "I—I need to sit down," she said softly before she turned around and walked ahead to where the living room was.

We remained in the kitchen for a few dull moments before I slowly looked at Arthur. His face was passive, and it was stoic. He didn't let anything out from his eyes either, even though they were staring at where Morgana had stood. Silence was slowly becoming our best friend before I sighed a bit, fear curling into my heart. Arthur glanced at me, his blue eyes finally expressing the worry he was feeling. I didn't know what to say as my feet began to move, walking away from him and entering the living room with minimal hope that she would accept whatever this was.

I saw how she immediately slumped on the couch, her eyes disarray and the look on her face was so distant that I didn't think it was possible for someone to look so lost. I slowly walked to her, her eyes silently staring at the floor before she flickered them to me, her eyes questioning. I searched them slowly, hoping that I wouldn't be able to see any disgust or anger in them. "Merlin," she began silently as I felt a frown tugging on my lips.

"Morgana," I said meekly, fear once again taking over as I looked away from her. "I'm sorry."

Silence took over before I heard Morgana slowly sighing. "Why—how did this happen?" she asked, her voice sounding tired all of a sudden. I felt myself growing anxious a bit before I looked at her. "Merlin? When did this happen?" she asked, her voice sounding slightly perturbed but otherwise, I didn't detect anything else. Absent-mindedly, I rubbed my right arm and sighed, looking at her with an apologetic look on my face.

"I—I can't exactly pin point when," I said slowly as her eyes flickered close for a moment before she sighed loudly. She rubbed her face in frustration before she leaned against the couch, letting her body to sink in. Seconds pursued on this fear before she opened her eyes and looked at me dead in the eyes. I felt everything else inside of me screeching to a halt as I waited for her response.

"Okay," she said slowly before she furrowed her eyebrows. "Okay."

I remained quiet for a moment as I tried to register what she had said. Just then, I realised Arthur had followed me and was now standing next to me. Morgana looked away from me to him next before she thinned her lips. "But I'm going to need a hell of an explanation, from both of you."

I didn't know why I felt like something worst had left us. Morgana didn't seem displeased or anything now and confusion slowly worked on our faces. "Morgana?" he questioned, his voice sounding slightly unsure as Morgana frowned.

"I mean it, I need explanation to who made the first move to how far have you two had gone," she said, no hint of playfulness even though my cheeks reddened a bit at her suggestion.

"You're…not angry?" I asked, slightly wincing when she narrowed her eyes at me.

"Oh, I'm angry all right," she hissed out. "I'm very angry, Merlin! How could you two had the faintest idea that this would be a good idea to keep this away from me?"

"But Morgana," Arthur began, his voice sounding disbelieved and in all honesty, I wasn't really sure anymore to where this conversation heading. I blinked for a few seconds before heavy confusion decided to cloud my senses. "What are you saying?"

Morgana raised an eyebrow at him before she sighed loudly. "What did you expect me to react, Arthur? Yell at you two for this that somehow happened without me realising it? I'm—I'm not happy, just so you both know. I'm not happy at how I found out about this."

"But aren't you—Morgana, aren't you disgusted?" I finally asked, as I couldn't hold back the confusion. Morgana snapped her head and looked at me, her eyes widened a bit before a twisted frown left her lips.

"What does that supposed to mean?" she asked, hurt clearly ringing through her words. "You didn't think I was capable of understanding the nature of your sexuality?"

"I didn't mean it like that," I quickly said. The hurt that flashed through her eyes softened a bit before she sighed.

"No," she quietly. "I'm not disgusted or hating you both. But it's a shock, alright? It's a huge shock especially when I see my brother practically eating another boy's face. Arthur, I didn't even imagine that you would end up with a boy. I thought Sophia—"

"Sophia didn't really love me anymore," Arthur said quietly as he rubbed the back of his neck. Nervousness clearly portrayed from the way he held himself standing. I knew that he was trying his best not to show that he was indeed scared of what Morgana might say but for now, it was failing miserably. Morgana raised an eyebrow before she shook her head, touching her forehead as if she tried to soothe her thoughts.

"I don't understand though," she said quietly. "How did—which one—so you both love each other?"

"Yes," Arthur said immediately as I nodded quietly next to him, my verbal capability completely gone from my hard drive. Morgana nodded once before she looked at me. "We love each other."

"Does Uther know?" Morgana asked, the thickening silence following right after, answered her question immediately. "I guess not. Does Hunith know then?" she asked as she looked at me. I kept silent for a minute before she groaned a bit under her breath. "Nobody knows?"

"Will knows…," I said slowly as Morgana sharpened her gaze at me. "And…probably Gwaine and Leon."

"Wait, Gwaine knows?" Arthur asked as he looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed deep as I sighed.

"I said probably, didn't I?" I snapped as Arthur rolled his eyes at me before Morgana cleared her throat.

"Are those the only people who know about this?" she asked as I shrugged, unsure how to answer that.

"I think so," I said carefully as I tried to recall who else might have known about this. But after coming up with no more others, I just nodded at her question. Arthur seemed to be perplexed at the moment before he sighed loudly.

"Leon knows?" he asked, this time sounding more irritated. I just looked at him for a moment before I frowned at him.

"Yeah?" I said. "I'm not sure. He has a thing for me, you know, so he keeps a really close eye on me." Arthur immediately looked at me for a moment before he rolled his eyes.

"I bet he does," he said dryly as I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You sound really prattish at the moment, Arthur," I hissed out as he chuckled out, even though it sounded forced.

"Prattish? Where did you learn your English, Merlin?" he snapped as I narrowed my eyes at him and sharpened my glare. Taking a step back from him, I frowned.

"The way you're acting right now doesn't deserve an existed word," I bit out as he raised an eyebrow with a mocking gesture on his face.

"I see," he said quietly. "It's not because you're incapable to actually use an existed word that you had to create non-existent ones?" he said with a biting tone before I sneered at him.

"I assure, unlike you, I know where my common sense is," I said, my voice clearly showing displeasure. Arthur was ready to give a snarky comment only to have suddenly yelped out loud when Morgana pulled his right ear, bringing us back to the real situation at hand. My cheeks which were red from the anger slowly dissipated as I realised that Morgana was still here. Morgana sighed loudly before she rubbed her face slightly in agitation.

"You two surely don't seem to be in love," she muttered out as Arthur rubbed his reddening ears. "Do you two fight like this all the time? Like an old married couple."

"Ha, ha," I said dryly as I avoided Arthur's eyes. Morgana couldn't help but to smile a bit before I looked at her. For a few seconds, I didn't respond to her smile before I smiled for a moment. "So, does that mean you accept us?" I asked, nervousness once again making towards my words as she sighed.

"You hid a lot of things from me lately, Merlin," she said slowly, sounding defeated. Immediately guilt made way towards my heart as she shook her head. "But if you promise to never keep any more secrets from me, I'll forgive you for this."

"You'll accept us?" Arthur asked softly before Morgana rolled her eyes. "You'll keep this…a secret?"

"I will," she said before she shrugged. "I—I haven't seen you, Merlin, looking so happy ever. It's a rare look on your face and sometimes your smiles can get tad plastic but lately, you've been doing it sincerely. And I'm—actually glad that if it's anyone giving you that happiness, my brother was the one to do it. Arthur, even if he's a prat, he takes things seriously. But that still doesn't mean that you could do whatever the hell you want, Arthur," Morgana quickly diverted her attention to her brother, who had raised an amused eyebrow at her. "If you ever hurt Merlin, ever, physically, emotionally or mentally, I will murder you in your sleep and trust me, you'll want to be prepared when I murder you."

The venom from her words dripped so true that it even made me shiver from inside. "Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? You threatening Merlin instead of me? I'm your brother!" Arthur protested as I felt a smile tugging at my lips as Morgana rolled her eyes.

"Merlin can't even hurt a fly!" Morgana said. "You, on the other hand, can and will," Morgana narrowed her eyes at him for a moment before she softened them. "But—you're a good boy and will be a great man someday, Arthur. So, do know when you see something real, okay?" She patted Arthur on the shoulder as Arthur glanced at me. I felt my cheeks reddening a bit before smiling at them both, the feud a moment ago forgotten.

Silent relief washed inside of me as I realised that Morgana wasn't really angry at me. In fact, she hadn't done anything that would make me think she hated us. She instead, encouraged us and decided to help us through this. I felt slightly touched at that before a strong wash of guilt covered me. I didn't know why I had even doubted Morgana. She had been my best friend and she would never do anything that would harm our friendship. Here she was, accepting as ever with that gleam in her eyes that usually showed that she was more than pleased.

The day for the football match once again had come close and finally the day arrived, bringing all the nervousness along with it. I sighed a bit as I jogged to the field, the stadium once again filled with parents and what might be other students from schools nearby. What had me tugging my nervousness once again was the way I was about to handle the ball. I didn't want to lose possession once again but after the training I had, I guess it was safe to say that I could handle it.

The match started way before I was ready and suddenly, I found myself in the middle of the players trying to corner me for the ball. Once I had seen Lancelot open, I kicked the ball to him, cheering inside happily when he had caught the ball and was ready to get to the goal. The match had passed on and nothing exciting happened that would threaten the team's victory for the day. It was soon, if we had won this match, we would be heading towards the finals.

It was expected, we could see from miles away that we would win anyways. The other team's defence was horrible, as I heard Gwaine said as he took his stand next to me before running off to get the ball. It was true though, since it seemed like the players were less coordinated unlike we were. However, by the time the match had ended, exhaustion had taken over me as I walked to the bleachers and sat down. I knew my mum was around and I wasn't surprised when I saw her making her way to me with a smile on her face. That proud look on that lovely face of hers made me grin widely at her, despite the ache all around my body.

"You did so well, Merlin!" she beamed as she handed me a bottle of isotonic water. I took it carefully before opening the cap and drank the liquid, relishing at how salty it tasted with a pinch of zing to it. I looked at my mum after I finished drinking and smiled.

"I tried, mum," I said slowly as she nodded.

"And you did try really well!" she said happily, her pearly whites showing. It somehow pleased me that I could make her happy this way at least. "Arthur was also really great in the field." She seemed pleased as her eyes twinkled. I smiled absent-mindedly at that before the sudden disturbing thought bugged me to no end. Now, there was my mum and Uther's reactions. Would they approve? Uther, he would probably not and it was quite hard to imagine the situation otherwise. My mum, however, it was a different story since I didn't really know how she would take it.

"He did," I agreed, realising that I hadn't given her any feedback. Silence echoed between us before she nodded.

"I'll go home now," she said softly before she looked at me. "Would you like to come home too?"

"I think I'll stay behind for a while, if that's alright, mum," I said as she smiled once more.

"Alright, but not too late, love," she said before she walked away. I watched her walk away and disappearing through the crowds for a moment before my smile threatened to falter and aching sadness filled into my heart. I didn't want to hurt her. She had enough tears shed to last a lifetime and the life after this. It wouldn't settle well for me if I saw her cry again and it would make me feel even worse if she cried because of me. Shaking my head slightly I jolted awake from my thoughts when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I saw Will grinning at me.

"Hey, mate," he said while Morgana walked towards us. "You did really well."

"I tried," I said as I shrugged at him. Morgana finally patted Will on his shoulder as a recognition that she realised that he was here before she looked at me and smiled. She didn't have to say it in words but she was proud, somehow, at me. "Thanks, guys," I said as they both smiled.

"Your mum looked really happy, Merlin," Morgana said softly as her eyes looked away from me and searched the field.

"She was," I agreed as Will chuckled.

"To see her son who loved the indoors suddenly enjoying the outdoors would make any mother proud and happy, mate," Will teased as I rolled my eyes at him.

"I should get a shower or something," I said as I furrowed my eyebrows at how wet and sticky I felt. Morgana nodded as Will chucked and slapped my shoulder once more.

"And we'll leave then," he said as I raised an eyebrow. "Please, Merlin. We know you wanted to just hang around with Arthur."

I felt my cheeks reddening as I frowned. "That's not true!" I denied as Morgana chuckled.

"We'll see you later, Merlin," she said cheerfully before she walked away. Will just gave me a knowing look before he too followed Morgana. It had been a while after that day with Morgana finding out about us and she immediately confronted Will about it. Things didn't get any more complicated than that and I was glad somehow, things were going somewhat my way for once.

Shaking my thoughts away, I quickly stood up and decided to get a shower. Somehow, the school shower was quite comfortable. The hot water was more than enough to soothe any aching muscles. Once I reached to the changing room, I walked to my locker and immediately opened it up. Searching for my clothes, I quickly took them out and looked around for a towel. Just then, I saw Cenred, looking at me from the corner of his eyes. I raised an eyebrow at him before deciding to ignore him.

It wouldn't do me any good to confront anything at all with him. Quickly walking past him, I ended up in one of the free stalls and continued to strip off. I needed some hot water. After that quick shower and a satisfied sigh, I walked out of the shower stall with just my school pants and the white sleeved shirt. I felt refreshed as I rubbed my wet hair until I was satisfied that it was slightly dry. With that, I threw the towel into the laundry basket and headed out of the changing room, realising that the school was somehow deserted.

Just then, I realised that I hadn't seen Arthur. Furrowing my eyebrows, I decided to head back to my locker room first to grab my bag. The hall lights were still on and even though it was nearing seven in the evening, I was glad for the lights to be on. Once I reached to my locker, I quickly twirled the codes in and opened the door. I grabbed my bag from inside of the locker and shoved my clothes inside. Glancing inside one last time to assure myself that I have my homework with me, I closed the locker door and turned around.

I almost screamed when I saw Cenred, leaning against the wall opposite of me, looking at me with his hands against his chest. I touched my chest a bit before nervousness crept into me. "Cenred?" I questioned as a cruel smirk made way on his lips. I noticed that he was dressed into his school clothes and I realised that he looked really dangerous at the moment. Quietly, I looked away from him and around the hallways, hoping someone would come. In fact, I didn't know why I couldn't just run away. Before I had a chance to do so, I felt his hands grasping my shoulders and pushing me against the lockers with a thud, making me drop my bag on the ground in shock.

"Merlin," he said slowly, my name drawled out with venom that almost made me flinch. "Merlin, oh Merlin."

I tried to push his hands away from my shoulders but he only held me against the lockers harder, enjoying the discomfort he was creating to me. He took a few steps towards me until his feet touched mine and my personal space completely breached. "Cenred, let me go," I said warningly as he grinned grimly. I didn't like how he looked before he clicked his tongue.

"Merlin, you surely are daft, aren't you?" he said, enjoying how I was getting even more confused at his antics. "You think you're so secretive, aren't you?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, not really wanting to know.

A chilling laugh echoed out from his lips before he sighed. "You surely don't know what I'm talking about? Well, you really are cute, so I could understand why," Cenred said cruelly as I felt the slight tingly sensation inside of me. It didn't feel great at all. It felt as if I was being stripped away from my innocence.

"Cenred!" I exclaimed when I felt his body sliding closer to me. His hands left my shoulders before he placed his arms against the lockers, either side of my head. Leaning in deeper, his body finally flushed against me for a moment. The panic rushed into my head for a moment as I immediately tried to push him away. "This is getting too far out of hand!"

"Indeed, it is!" he said. "You're getting too far out of hand, big ears," he said softly, his voice sounding sharp and irritated to my ears. "You think I don't see what's going on between Arthur and you?"

I felt my breath hitching for a second before I forced myself to look at him. I searched for his face for a while before I frowned. "Cenred, please, let me go before I do something that I won't regret."

"Oh?" he questioned mockingly as he raised his eyebrows in what seemed like mock-amusement. "Well, let's not go that far, Merlin," he hissed out. "I'll keep your little secret if you just leave the team and walk away."

"What makes you think I'll do anything you wanted?" I bit out as he chuckled.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you would," he said softly. "You don't want Arthur to lose his bright future, now do we?"

I narrowed my eyes at him at the mention of Arthur. "What does that supposed to mean?"

"You know, telling his father about you two, wouldn't really do any good for his future now, would it?" Cenred said innocently. I felt my eyes widened a bit before I immediately pushed him away harshly. This time, he willingly moved away. Setting a distance between us, he just smiled at me. "Think about it."

With that, he walked away, leaving me alone. I felt the chilling reality basking me as I felt the edge of panic and anxiety threatening to take over me. Silently, I wished this didn't happen. I felt like I had done a huge mistake. Sighing, I shakily grabbed onto my bag and hugged it. I needed to see Arthur. I knew that he was still in the building. He wouldn't leave me without letting me know first, that was how we worked. And so, I decided to head back to the changing room. Checking around, I frowned when I didn't see him. Just then, I realised that maybe he was still at the field.

I was right when I saw him sitting at the bleachers, sighing loudly. He looked as if he had gotten a shower. His clothes were changed as he had a black hoodie on with his worn out jeans. I froze on my steps a bit before he turned around to look at me. He smiled softly at me before he looked back out the field, just letting the huge spotlights at the field be the only company for the night if I wasn't there. I felt myself hesitate for a moment before I took a few steps and ended up sitting down next to him.

I felt the slight tremors from what Cenred did to me just now taking over my mind. It was unpleasant, the way his body was against mine like that. It felt wrong and I felt slightly violated. I thinned my lips as I felt this anxiety of what he had said taking over me once more. "Merlin?" I heard Arthur calling me as I looked at him. His blue eyes met mine before he searched my face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said slowly even though I tried not to sound defensive. Arthur just continued to look at me before I sighed and shook my head. "I—I don't know anymore," was all I said as the frustration seeped into me. Arthur sighed a bit before he touched my hair, messing it silently before he smiled.

"You can tell me anything, Merlin," he said as I bit my bottom lip. Now, I was beginning to doubt myself. What if Uther did find out? Arthur could possibly be disowned and if that happened, Arthur would never have a bright future. And it would be my fault. Worry and fret washed into me once more as I tried to keep myself from frowning again. But once it spilled on my lips anyway, Arthur had stopped touching my hair. "Merlin?"

"I—I," I started out as I looked at him in the eyes. "If—if you could do anything, anything at all to get a bright future, would you do it?" I asked as he looked at me for a while.

"Merlin?" he asked, his voice latching confusion.

"Will you?" I asked before he shrugged.

"I guess?" he said, confusion lingered in his answer. I felt myself panicking silently a bit before he narrowed his eyes at me. "Merlin, is something wrong?"

"What if—what if I said that if we—," I said slowly as I avoided his eyes. "What if I said that if we don't continue this thing," I continued. "Then you would have a bright future?" I finally forced myself to finish. Arthur remained really still before I felt him retreating his hand from my hair. A sharp pang went through my heart as I sighed.

"Merlin," he said cautiously. "Where is this coming from?"

I remained quiet for a while before biting my bottom lip. "It didn't really come from anywhere dangerous," I said absent-mindedly. "I'm just saying, if—if Uther finds out about us, you could—your future would be jeopardised. So, I'm just saying, before that day comes, maybe we could—"

"Say another word and I will punch you," Arthur threatened as I quickly looked at him, furrowing my eyebrows. "Did you think this is funny or something casual to bring up, Merlin?" he demanded, his voice sounding sharp. I almost winced at that before I sighed.

"Arthur, I'm not trying to make this difficult," I said slowly. "I'm just saying things that I have thought about for a while. People are finding out faster than I want or you wanted to. If your father finds out…"

"Who?" Arthur asked after a while, causing me to look at him. "Who else, Merlin?" I just groaned a bit under my breath before shaking my head.

"That doesn't matter," I said, half annoyed. "The matter is—"

"The matter is, no matter what other people said, even if it's from Cenred," Arthur hissed out that name, causing my eyes to widen. "I won't leave you."

"How—"

"He threatened to tell my father as well if I didn't give him the captaincy," Arthur said nonchalantly as I felt the wash of fear once again pooling into me. "Merlin," he said slowly as he grabbed onto my right hand, tugging it tight and clasping it around his fingers. "We're going to be alright."

"Arthur, we can't be sure of that," I protested as he rolled his eyes.

"And I can't predict the future either but we'll be fine," Arthur assured as I kept silent. "Are you having second doubts, Merlin? About—about us? About how you feel for me? Do you," he slowly started once he realised I didn't respond. "Do you need to be apart with me for a few days?"

"No," I quickly said as I looked at him, determination in my eyes. "I—I'm not having second doubts and I still feel the same way. I'm just—I'm scared, Arthur. This is Uther, your father! He—you're the only Pendragon heir right now and what if he disapproves of this?"

"He disapproves everything I do," Arthur shot back as I sighed at him.

"Arthur," I said as he just shook his head.

"Nothing will happen to us," he said as he tightened our hands together. "We'll be fine. Merlin, believe in me. We'll be fine, okay?"

Silence lingered on before I sighed. "Cenred sounded really convincing," I mumbled as Arthur rolled his eyes.

"He won't get to do much damage," Arthur said coolly. "I'll make sure of it."

I looked back at Arthur for a moment before finally nodding. We didn't know what else was in front of us at the moment but there was definitely something big on the way. I could feel it. And somehow, I knew Arthur was feeling it too. However, despite it all, we kept quiet for the rest of the time, finally letting our thoughts to wither away.

We just let ourselves enjoy each other's company for now.

Whatever else that was going to happen later could wait.

Well...I'm not really happy with the ending of this chapter but so far, that's what I got~ I hope you all enjoyed this chappie too! Do continue to support me by reviewing and letting me know what you guys thought! Also, I would like to thank all of you who had reviewed before this, faved it, followed it and even just read this! I love you all~ Till' we meet again! -Krystal