Hiya guys, this chapter has been waiting to be published for a while. I had actually forgotten that it was sat here ready! I must apologise for the lack of updates in such a long time, I started a PGCE (training to be a teacher) course and I am exhausted most days. The story is not forgotten and it will not be abandoned. Please bare with me, this is the busiest year of my life and one of the most important. I hope you all understand, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks!

Start Over

"What the hell were you thinking?" Leah ranted as Bella prepared for her date with her ex-boyfriend.

"I mean seriously, ex-boyfriends are 'EX's' for a reason," she continued even as Bella shut the bathroom door in her face.

"And he's the worst kind of ex-boyfriend! Not to mention the whole, being dead thing. You can't really be considering going through with this?"

Bella rolled her eyes at her sisters, now muffled, ranting and hopped in the shower. Leah had been expressing her opinion in Bella's general direction since she'd spilled about her and Edward's plans for that night. It was getting pretty tiresome now but, Leah was her sister for all intents and purposes so it was only polite to let her talk. However, that didn't mean that Bella had to listen.

The sound of the shower blocked out her sister for the most part so Bella took her time in washing. Scrubbing her hair and her body until the scents of perfumed soaps clung to her skin. It was as she was doing this that she paused in her motions. Her eyes fell onto her thigh and widened at the sight of it. The purple blue discolouration of freshly bruised skin met her eyes and the distinct shape of a hand print made understanding blossom to life in her mind rather quickly. She remembered his hands gripping her, pinning her against the door frame, taking hold of her thigh to get that little bit closer to her. She gently pressed down on the bruise and hissed just a little at the pain that she felt. It should have bothered her but, it didn't. She had been here before. She'd seen the first bruises in the shower last time too.

April 2007

The tears mingled with the gradually cooling water as she sat in the bathtub with the shower water trickling down against her skin. She felt disgusting and she didn't know how to process what had just happened. One minute it had been kissing and the next it was so much more. She liked Jake, she really did but, this wasn't what she had wanted. She had wanted him. Not this.

Guilt festered inside her like an infection as she sat crying quietly. This wasn't supposed to happen, it should have been him! It wasn't too much longer that she heard the door open and closing downstairs. It was then that she panicked. Had they left any evidence of what had transpired in her bedroom?Oh god, she thought, would Charlie know?Would he be able to tell that his daughter was no longer a virgin? No longer innocent? She really really hoped not.

She shut off the water and forced herself to move. Her father's footsteps approached and she called out to him.

"I won't be long!"

"It's alright, Bells," her father replied from outside the door, "no rush. I thought we could order pizza? If you haven't cooked already?"

Bella internally urged her body to move then and she pulled herself from her position in the bathtub.

"Pizza sounds great," she muttered in reply.

It wasn't until her father's footsteps had faded down the corridor that she grabbed her towel and went to cover herself. It was then that she saw them, the multitude of little bruises blooming to life on her skin. All the places that he had touched her were marked with little purple-blue patches of discolouration. She didn't know how to process it all. There was little marks on her legs and her arms and one on her ribs. She stood there too long, thinking over everything that had transpired that evening.

"You still in there, Bells?" her father enquired a little while later.

His voice snapped her from her thoughts and she hurried replied.

"Yeah, sorry," she replied, grabbing her dressing gown from the door hook and made herself decent. Thankfully, the dressing gown covered all the bruises perfectly and she pulled open the door to the sight of her father's worried face.

"You okay?" he asked, his awkwardness obvious. Oh hell, he knows! Well, she reasoned, he knows that something has happened.

"Yeah, I'm great," she replied, feeling equally as awkward as her father, "I'm just gonna…" she signalled to her bedroom and he nodded in way of reply. She hurried into her room and tried not to think about everything that had happened here. It hadn't been bad or anything but it certainly wasn't what she had expected. But then she hadn't really known what to expect. He had barely touched her let alone gone anywhere close to this. At least Jake wanted her. At least he loved her and wanted her.

She tried not to look at the bruises as she dressed. Covering them up made it almost possible to pretend that they weren't there beneath the fabric, peppering her skin. Once dressed, she picked up the clothes that had been discarded in a bit of hurry earlier and tried not to cry again. As she tided and discarded of the condom wrapper left so carelessly on the floor by her bed, her feelings of guilt began to be outweighed by a new feeling: anger. She was angry with herself. This could have been a wonderful experience, Jake was a good guy and he loved her and she was ruining it. A few bruises and a few regrets didn't have to mean anything unless she let them.

She hadn't let those bruises stop her then so how could she now? Jacob had so felt terrible about the whole thing that it had been a while before they'd repeated that afternoon. The next time they had, there had been no marks, none whatsoever. She deliberated for a moment then, unsure of what she should do. Should she tell him? No! She thought, He'll probably never touch me again if he finds out. She decided then that it was better if no one knew of her bruise. She didn't want to give Leah or the rest of her family cause for concern. Leah didn't know of the first time, they had only just begun being friends at that point and they hadn't been good friends then.

Figuring that it had worked last time, she stepped out of the shower, wrapped the towel around herself and pulled on her dressing gown. The fibres of the fabrics clinging to her damp skin as she exited to the bathroom.

"You can still cancel," Leah told her when she left the room.

Bella shook her head, "I love that you care so much, Leah but, I have to do this. I want to do this. I need to give him this chance."

Leah's eyes filled with tears but, she didn't cry.

"What if he hurts you again?" her voice was timid and Bella tried not to let her fear show.

"Then Seth will kick his ass."

Bella's reply made her sister laugh and she felt better at reassuring Leah, even if she wasn't so sure herself. She didn't know whether tonight would be a really wonderful idea or whether it would all go horrendously wrong. To her heart, she owed herself this chance.

"Could you grab me some coffee?" Bella asked as she approached the closet, trying to get her sister to leave for a moment.

"What did your last slave die off?" her sister responded, affronted by the request.

"Please its gonna be a long night," Bella pleaded as she pulled her dress from the hanger. She had three dresses, one he had already seen her in, her bridesmaid dress from Sue and Charlies wedding and her slut dress. It was a clubbing dress that Leah had brought for her as a birthday present. It was navy, very tight and just a little on the short side. She knew that it probably wouldn't cover her bruise well enough. However, other than jeans and t-shirts, she didn't have a massive amount of choice.

Leah's eyebrows rose at the suggestion behind her words, "Not too long I hope."

"If I promise not to have sex with him, will you get me coffee?" she asked her sister, dumping the dress on the bed and moving to choose shoes. She didn't have many options, one pair was way too high in the heel, she had worn them once and nearly broken her ankle, thankfully in the end she had spent most of that night horizontal. She blushed and tried not to think about her past relationship. She grabbed a cream pair of heels that were lower to the ground and chucked them onto the bed beside the dress.

"Deal," her sister agreed, smiling to herself as she left the room.

Bella made sure to dry and dress quickly. Thankfully, her dress was long enough to hide the bruise from view and when her sister re-entered the room, holding a steaming mug, she was none the wiser to Bella's situation.

"What time are you meeting him?" Leah questioned, looking just a little less on edge now. Maybe it was the idea of having sex with Edward that made Leah particularly uncomfortable.

"He's meeting me at the boundary line in an hour," she explained to her sister, "Can you help with the hair please?"

Leah smiled but rolled her eyes playfully, holding her hand out for the brush. With gentle and purposeful hands, Leah worked at fixing Bella's hair into something beautiful.

"I'm so glad its growing back," she commented as she worked, "I can't believe you let mom cut all the red out. You suit long hair, Bells, we've been over this."

"Oh sorry," Bella replied, "Just wanted to look like a woman for a change rather than a teenager."

Leah made eye contact with her in the mirror as she spoke.

"You look nothing like a teenager," she said with a smile, "You are gorgeous, and you are far too good for him."

Bella rolled her eyes but didn't say anything in response. She didn't know what to say and just sat silent as Leah straightened and styled her hair. It looked about an inch longer being completely straightened and Bella felt pretty for the first time in a long time when it was all done. Her makeup was just enough, framed eyes and all natural shades.

"Woah," Leah commented, "I think I just aged you in a really good way."

Bella just stared at her reflection for a moment, she truly hadn't looked this good in a long time and she definitely looked hot tonight. Now she was looking forward to this a whole lot more. He was going to be completely at her mercy tonight and she felt so good at knowing that.

XXX

The look in his eyes when he first saw her was exactly the reaction that she had hoped for. She felt a blush rising in her cheeks as he stared at her in awe and lust. He had appraised her with appreciations when he had got into the car earlier in the night but, as she rose out of the driver's seat and stood the look in his eyes very clearly explained how he felt. He definitely wanted her and it gave her a significant confidence boost to see it. It would've offended her normally but she was guilty of looking at him the same way. She had almost forgotten just how good he looked when he dressed in simple but smart clothing.

"So," He spoke up then, his nerves clear for all to see, "I was thinking dinner and movie…"

She really loved that she made him nervous. The thought made her smirk as she replied.

"Sounds great."

The plan had sounded great until they had got to the movie theatre and she realised the huge mistake they had made.

"Bella?" a voice she recognised called to her. She visibly cringed and put space between herself and Edward. She turned to the voice and was met by the curious stare of Jessica Newton nee Stanley. She was the trainee manager of the movie theatre and Bella cursed herself for forgetting a fact that should have been obvious.

"Hey," she spoke awkwardly, not likely this one bit. In a moment, Jess would notice who she was with and then…

Jessica's eyes widen and she gasped, "Bella, what the hell is he doing here?!"

…all hell would break lose.

Bella sighed tiredly. She understood her old friends surprise and her anger but, Bella really didn't want to do this now. She didn't need more opinions getting into her head and making her doubt her decision all over again.

"Trying to watch a movie I should think," she replied quietly to which her friend scowled in her direction.

"You're not serious?" Jessica's tone was murderous.

"Of course I am," Bella stated trying to be calm and not lash out at her old friend, no easy feat. "What else do you come to the movie theatre for?"

Jessica's scowl deepened and Bella was just a little concerned that she might start spurting out hateful shit at Edward if they didn't leave – now. She pleaded at her old friend with a look and begged her silently not to do this.

"Look, we'll just go and you can call me and bitch it out in the morning, how's that?" Bella proposed as Jessica glared at Edward like she thought a look could knock him down dead.

Bella reached behind her to take Edward's hand in hers and all but pulled him from the movie theatre. A crappy movie wasn't worth a crappy mood. She could feel her emotions brewing under the surface as she lead him away from Jessica's well-meaning rage. She really should have known better to think that they could date in the vicinity of Forks and not get spotted. Bella just knew that if her father had still been alive then he would've known all about this within seconds of it happening. Everybody in Forks knew about their break up, in fact she was pretty sure that everybody in La Push and Port Angeles knew too. It had been rather interesting gossip at the time. Edward leaving and Bella becoming a shell of the woman she had been before him. All of her high school friends knew and had seen first-hand the damage that he had caused her.

As they neared the car, he paused in his step and tugged on her arm gently. She turned, not realising that she had been crying quietly until they stopped. Facing him, she could see the hurt and guilt manifesting beneath his blank expression.

"Don't do this," she all but pleaded.

He frowned down at her and gently wiped the tears from her cheek.

"Do what?" he asked, the emotion he felt clear through his speech.

"The past is done with now," she stated trying to regain control over her emotions, "Everyone else can be mad at us for trying again after everything but, it doesn't matter because I…" she swallowed nervously, placing her hand over his on her face, "I want to forget. I want to start over. That's what tonight should be, us starting over."

His smile was sad but hopeful and it lifted her spirits.

"Seattle?" he suggested and she laughed out loud. Only stopping when the seriousness in his face registered.

"It's a three hour drive," she told him.

He nodded, "I know but, at least then we can try to start over without old acquaintances getting involved."

Bella laughed lightly and bit her lip gently, before nodding.

"You can drive though," she told him, knowing this had likely been his plan all along. She moved away from his embrace and rummaged in her bag for the keys and then relinquished them over to him. He looked far too smug as he walked to the passenger door and held it open to her.

"Wipe that look of your face or I'll rethink the 'letting you drive' bit," she told him, secretly enjoying the sight of the grin plastered on his face. He got into the front seat and within a few minutes they were off, speeding away into the evening.

They arrived in Seattle far too quickly for Edward to claim he had done the speed limit. She should have known better than to think he would. He moved to open her door after they pulled up and she hesitated for only a couple of seconds before taking the hand he offered. Mostly accepting his help so that her dress wouldn't ride up and show him the bruise. She just had to get through the date fully clothed, fulfilling her promise to Leah and keeping her bruise hidden in one hit. Despite this, she wasn't entirely sure that she wanted that outcome. As they had sat in the approaching darkness of the long country lanes, it had been nearly unbearable to keep her hands to herself. She was expecting to be tested to her very limit on the returning journey.

The little sparks she always felt at his touch made their appearance as he took her hand in his. She had to restrain herself for a moment before he unknowingly distracted her and asked, "Did you still want to catch a movie?"

She nodded, smiling.

Not needing directions, he navigated the city in a way that told her he knew it well. They had parked up only a block from the movie theatre. It was huge in comparison to Port Angeles tiny theatre. She may actually have to thank Jess for her interruption since it was very likely that the picture quality would be so much better here.

"So did you have a movie in mind?" he enquired as the approached.

She used her most serious voice to reply, "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs."

His sideways glance of shock and horror made her laughter spill out of her until it hurt.

"Your face," she blurted out, tears leaking from her eyes at the pain her laughter caused. After a moment, she took deep breaths and steadied her breathing.

He rolled his eyes at her antics before repeating his question.

"In truth, which movie do you want to see?"

They had just reached the outside of the theatre when he asked her that. Her eyes spotted the poster on the outside wall and she knew immediately which movie she wanted to watch but, she had promised Leah.

"If you promise not to tell Leah," she began, "Can we watch Harry Potter?"

It was his turn to laugh now.

She frowned and tried not to look annoyed.

"You're not joking are you?" he asked once he realised that she wasn't laughing with him.

She shook her head slowly, "unless you'd rather watch Ice Age?"

"No," he was quick to reply, sobering up almost instantly, "Potter is a great choice."

She wasn't sure that he really thought that but, she truly didn't care too much and followed him into the theatre. When Leah had become a good friend and step-sister too her, she had forced the books and the movies on her and now she was hooked. In fact, she felt a little bad even suggesting it. She wasn't sure if she felt right about watching it without her sister, it was one of their many things.

By the time she had come to this conclusion, she realised she was little too late as he appeared holding the tickets and she silently vowed to make it up to her sister. He retook her hand and they found seats at the back of the theatre. As the lights dimmed, she instantly regretted coming here. The familiar electricity crackled beneath her skin and she struggled to control her feelings.

As the credits rolled nearly two hours later, she realised that she hadn't taken in a moment of the movie. How could she? When she had spent the entire time sat just a little too straight in her seat and staring blankly ahead desperate not to make contact with him in any way for fear of forcing him into a toilet cubicle and having her way with him.

The fresh air hit her face as she stepped out onto the street and she breathed easy for the first time in hours. Her whole body felt singed from being so close to him and yet so distanced. He didn't take her hand as they left the theatre almost like he could sense how she felt, maybe he had been truthful when he admitted to feeling similarly on the Port Angeles shoreline. They were careful to remain close but not touching as he heading them in the direction of a restaurant. Edward cursed rather tamely by her standards and she frowned.

"Whats wrong?" she asked.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, which definitely didn't help her steadily increasing hormones. She tried not to look at his face as he replied.

"It's nearly midnight," he pointed out, "they closed about ten minutes ago."

"Oh," Bella replied, still avoiding his gaze, "Well, there's got to be somewhere open."

XXX

If she could have chosen a place to eat dinner with Edward, even if he wouldn't be eating, McDonalds really wasn't her first choice. She couldn't help laughing at his expressions as she slid into a booth. His expression was distinctly unimpressed that this had been the only place within the area that was open and serving food.

"Just so you know," she told him quietly, pinching a fry from the packet and taking a bite, "When I said 'buy me dinner first', that didn't mean Mcdonalds. Big Mac's do not equate to sex."

She could see the embarrassment in his expression and felt a little twinge of guilt.

"Potentially blow jobs but definitely not sex," she joked trying to help him lighten his mood but doing the exact opposite. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb. An expression of exasperation.

"I'm sorry," she muttered quietly, "I'll just shut up now."

She felt his eyes on her as she looked down at her food and started to pick at the junk food.

"Please don't," he requested.

She glanced up at him and felt a warmness spread through her at his expression.

"I very much enjoy listening to you talk," he explained, "Admittedly I prefer it when you talk of more intelligent topics but, just hearing your voice is enough."

She smiled widely, took a sip of her coke and asked, "So how are you finding Keats?"

The conversation flowed easily from there. She ate and they conversed about better topics. She was still arguing with him about his ridiculously imperfect analysis of Jane Eyre as they reached the car.

"You're wrong and you know it!" she pouted as he held open the car door.

"If I admit that I am wrong, can we talk about something else?" he requested, and shut the door gently at her nod. He had never meant to cause such a response from talking about literature but, then considering it was her passion, he should have known better. He slid into the driver's seat and turned to her.

"I am wrong," he began, "There is much more to Jane Eyre than my simple mind could comprehend."

She let out a breathy laugh, "Your mind is hardly simple."

"And yet," he replied, "even now, yours is my equal, if not my superior. You are wonderful, Bella. In every way."

She blushed deeply and didn't know how to reply as he started the engine. She was speechless for a while. It was during this silence that the familiar electrical sparks began to surface once again.

The sky outside was pitch black as he drove them both towards home, the spark of electricity that always existed between them flared to life. The darker the sky grew, the more intense it became. Without her full consent, her body was reacting to his closeness. She could feel the familiar dampness on her thighs, she instantly regretting not wearing panties but, it was a must with this dress!

A blush flared to life on her cheeks as she realised that he could tell that she was getting just a little turned on. What gave it away was his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel just that little bit tighter. He looked distinctly uncomfortable and she fought the urge to look down into his lap.

She lost.

One glance was enough to confirm her suspicion and make her situation even more uncomfortable. Looking for a distraction, she cranked up the radio and looked straight ahead out into the blackness of the winding road ahead. The song that blared from the speakers had a less than desired effect.

Scream!
At the top of your lungs if your body's feeling right
Scream!
At the top of your lungs if your body's feeling right
Scream!
At the top of your lungs if your body's feeling right

Bella's eyes widened and she blushed from her head to her toes. She quickly skipped that radio station, praying for something else. Anything else.

You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down down
You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down down

She cursed and quickly turned the radio off.

"Is every song pornographic?!" she exclaimed before she could think better of it.

She glanced at him then and realised that he was smirking and trying very hard not to laugh.

"You're not supposed to laugh," she chastised at his reaction.

"I'm sorry," he replied, "It's just funny that's all."

She stared at him for a few moments, "Funny how?"

"I thought I was the one who would get all flustered," he admitted quietly, "I'm actually a little relieved."

Her heart was pounding as she thought over his words. She wasn't entirely sure what brought about her request but, she was glad when he did as she requested.

"Pull over," she ordered.

He frowned deeply as he complied. When the car came to a stop on the side of the road, she made her decision. Despite knowing that her next move was not going to be big on dignity, she reached down to tug off her shoes, then pulled her dress down a bit more and angled her body to face him before inelegantly crossing over the gear stick that sat between them and moving to straddle him. His breath hitched and she knew that if his heart could beat it would have been erratic.

"Oh," she spoke softly to him. Their faces less than an inch apart. "Look who's flustered now?"

She regretted the lack of underwear even more now that she was sat astride his lap. From here, she could feel what she had seen in that one look earlier. Feeling it certainly didn't help to calm her or dissuade her from taking his innocence right here, right now. She couldn't do that to him though, he deserved so much better than that. Plus she had promised Leah and she would keep her promise. At least she hoped she would.

As his hands entwined in her hair at the nape of her neck, and their lips meet for the first time that night, she wasn't entirely sure that she would keep her promise. It had been a long time since she'd had sex and now she knew what he'd been holding back on before. She wanted it more than anything as he kissed her with a passion that she hadn't experienced before.

As their embrace grew more and more heated, one hand in her hair and the other at her waist, his lips kissing down her throat to her collar bone and down towards her chest. He glanced up at her for consent as he lingered near the top of her dress. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage in anticipation as his hand on her waist moved up to peal down the zipper of her dress. It fell away easily once undone and her breath hitched as he took in the sight of her. A shyness she hadn't felt in a long time crept over her and she fought with herself to not cover up.

"So beautiful," he whispered before kissing her fiercely, almost as if he knew she needed some form of reassurance. Her skin flushed as he moved to kiss her neck and collar bone once again, trailing kissing down to her breasts. Her eyes closed in anticipation of his touch on a place she craved it. When suddenly, he stopped. Her eyes opened slowly after a few seconds of nothing. She wondered for a moment if he had stopped because he had panicked. It was when she opened her eyes fully and saw the direction of his gaze that she understood immediately.

She sighed and covered up her bare breasts by moving to hold her dress to her chest. His expression was filling with guilt and although she understood his feelings, she really hadn't wanted their night to end on this. She tried to pull away from him but he held her firmly in place.

"Did I do that?" he asked finally, not waiting for a response as he moved a hand from her back to her thigh. The bruise was the perfect imprint of his hand and he confirmed his own suspicions as he laid his hand gently against her skin. He swallowed and she witnessed the guilt taking root and settling in for the long haul. She cursed and extracted herself from his hold, clumsily falling into the passenger seat.

"Why did you go out with me tonight?" he asked, "How could you go out with me knowing I had done that to you?"

She rolled her eyes and spoke before thinking it through, "It's nothing really. I've had worse."

He didn't speak for a few minutes and when she looked up his expression was murderous. She knew exactly where her words had taken his thoughts.

"Bruises heal quickly, Edward," she said calmly, "Broken hearts don't."

His gaze softened.

"Please," she asked, "I am begging you, don't do this. Because if you ever leave me again, I don't know what I would do. I just got you back."

His eyes were filled with sadness and despite his obvious hesitation, he reached across the space between them and took her hand in his.

"I promise you, Bella Swan, I will never leave you again."

She wasn't aware of the tightness pressing on her chest until it lifted at his words. Internally, she cursed herself for being so vulnerable again.

"Let's get you home," he told her, smiling gently and keeping her hand in his as he took them back towards the boundary line.

When they reached it, he paused for a moment, before letting go of her hand, to help make her decent once again, and stepping out of the car. She walked slowly over to him and without waiting for a sign or any kind of permission, she hugged him. Wrapping her arms around him and holding him close to her, needing some form of comfort that only he could offer. His arms encircled her and he planted a delicate kiss on the top of her head. They stood there for an immeasurable amount of time until the wind picked up and ghosted over her bare skin. She shivered and he tensed.

"Sorry," she mumbled moving away from his chest, "I guess I still smell pretty good right?"

She looked up into his face and realised that she definitely hadn't guessed right.

"Edward, what's wrong?" she demanded, her words waking him from his frantic expression.

"In the car, Bella."

"Huh?"

"Please get in the car!" he ordered, a feeling of protectiveness clawing at his insides. He took her into his arms in a one fluid motion and she wasn't given time to protest as he deposited her back into the passenger seat, being very careful not to jostle her or cause her further harm. She was livid as at his actions and silently seethed as he turned the car around and headed back towards his house. Despite her anger, she couldn't shake off the worry that built up inside her. What on earth could have happened to make Edward react so? She honestly had no idea but, as they pulled up on the Cullen's driveway at a quarter to three in the morning, she knew she would know soon enough.