Sorry, I know you've all been getting board of this, but from now there's going to be a lot of Jen and Tilly time. Got plenty of ideas down for these :) so yeah, sorry about the long, long wait...x
Chapter 21
Tilly'd barly slept that Sunday night. The thought of people talking about her and looking at her scared her half to death. She hated being centre of attention more than anything else. Knowing as she walked past friends and friends of friends they would all know what had happened by now. The police had obviously told her class mates what the whole situation was about. Being forcefully kissed from a teacher isn't something Tilly would want people to know about her. The one thing she was terrified for was encase people judged her, or even thought she was making it up. The fact of people just knowing such thing about her had put her of going back to college at all.
Tilly knew though, to show she was stronger than it all she would have to just put it behind her and try her best to move on from the past. She dragged herself out of bed and went straight to the bathroom to begin getting ready. After getting ready Tilly made her way straight downstairs to make herself a coffee and some toast to begin a hard day ahead of her. All she wanted to do was get in, get her work completed and get out without questions or any hasle.
The Sunday night Jen and Tilly had passed on a few messages together, talking about just the general stuff for the minute, not rushing things. But now they both knew they were on the mend of getting back together, but taking it slow was the best way for none of them to get so hurt again, and they both understood that.
Just before she was about to leave there was a knock on the door. When Tilly answered it was Sinaed. Sinaed knew this was going to be a hard day for Tilly and knew she needed a friend to be there with her. Tilly was glad Sinaed had turned up, becuase she knew fine well if people started asking questions or staring at her Sinaed wouldn't be afraid to say something and set them straight. At least now Tilly had someone there who could stick up for her. George was away still at his mums so she was definetly glad Sinaed was there for her, just like she was there for Sinaed when she needed her.
Art was first, which Tilly didn't really mind because Sinaed was in her lesson as well as Jen. It was second period she was bothered about. Because none of her close friends were there, or Jen and thats where all the studants knew everything about the situation so it was bount to be the hardest lesson of the day. Being alone, not having anyone to talk to and focus on instead of focusing on the other studants who'd be most likely looking at her and talking about her. Gladly Tilly had brought her ipod so she saved all her battery for second lesson. That way she could just block everyone around her out and focus on her work.
Tilly was right, people were looking at her. And Sinaed did have to set a couple of people straight on the way to college, but what Tilly didn't realise was they wern't judging her in any possible way, if only feeling sorry for the girl. But thats another thing Tilly didn't want, people feeling sorry for her, because again that makes her the centre of attention which she nor needed or wanted. Again Jen was there when Tilly needed her, reasuring her with her beautiful smile and a touch of the hand.
Art lesson came quickly, straight from the common room to the art room in no time. Head down and hanging herself onto Sinaeds arm as they walked. Sinaed assured Tilly that people wern't looking at her as she walked past with her head down, or talking about her. But Tilly could feel it, feel the eyes burning through her whole body, hear the whispering as she walked past. She just wanted to run, run far away and hide, hide away from the whole world around her. It would just be so much easier that way, no one to judge, and no one to be afriad of. Everthing would just be so simple.
Jen seen Tilly and Sinaed as they walked along the corridor together, herself noticing Tilly with her head locked down to the floor, she felt bad. Really bad, none of this was Tillys fault. She was the victum in all of this and yet she must of felt like she was the bad person with all the eyes gloating her way and the whispering. Tilly knows what its like in college, because of the personal experiances with Ester all the time getting showed up, and she knows the studants always find something else to talk about after a couple of days. But this, was different it was really serious. With police involved and plenty of questions but with the cought date coming up also in two weeks time it will again be another full week of talking about Tilly and it was just a lot to take in.
Jen gave Tilly a warm smile as she entered the class room and of course Tilly responded with her usual polite smile. Jen could tell just by looking at her she had a lot on her mind. So she wanted to make sure she could keep a look out during the college hours for Tilly, make sure she doesn't get asked any questions or horrible comments thrown towards her.
After the first 50 or so minutes into the lesson Tilly was thinking about nothing else other than her assignment. She'd wasted so much time on having her mind elsewhere now she just needed to focus on her work. If she wanted the chance to get into the best University she couldn't have her mind focusing elsewhere.
Now that she knew herself and Jen were back on track all she wanted was to get her work out the way and then she could spend all of her time with the woman she has missed so much.
The door then opened...The voice was familiar to Tilly, really familiar.
''Hello there, i'm sorry to bother you but I was told you had the key to next door'' the woman spoke. Jen stood up instantly to face the woman who was standing at her desk. It was Laura, Jen didn't know her but Tilly knew her all to well. How was it possible? for Tillys teachers all to fall for her in some way? It was just really weird. Tilly didn't want to look up, she really didn't want Laura to notice her whilst sitting in Jens lesson now that would be an awkward situation wouldn't it? Oh Hi Jen, this is Laura another teacher who I have been getting to know! She'd think I was a total teacher freak. ''Yes, I will just go get it for you. Just in the cubbord. Laura followed Jen to the cubbord door as Jen came out with the key. ''Your a new teacher here then?'' Jen asked. ''Yes, studant teacher for General Studies. Never knew i'd be coming here till yesterday'' Laura laughed.
Laura was supposed to be going to a college just a hour away from Hollyoaks until her University called her and notified her to another position who needed someone immedietly so she accepted. Not knowing Tilly was a studant here. She knew Tilly was just 18 and in College but they'd never discussed which college she done, or the fact of Laura training to be a teacher either. ''Well, if you need anything i'm just in here. I'm Jen'' said Jen. ''Thanks that means a lot, i'm Laura'' replied Laura.
Just as Tilly looked up she instantly noticed Laura looking her way. She'd been seen and she couldn't hide any longer. Laura stood and looked at her for a couple of minutes before her smile grew right up her face. She was speechless, it was like fate bringing her to Tilly again. She'd missed her smile so much, yeah she'd only known the girl for a week but she'd loved spending time with her, it lit her day up each time she seen her and now, she finally seen her again.
''OMG TILLY IT'S YOU?'' Laura smiled walking towards Tillys desk. ''Erm, Yeah'' Tilly smiled. ''I actually thought i'd never see you again'' Laura smiled as she stood at Tillys desk. ''Well, here I am'' Tilly replied embarassed. Why on earth was she saying this? she was in college and definetly wasn't as paniked as Jen first was. It was like they were back in London. She was just acting normal around her.
Jen had seen this and died to the name Laura straight away. This was her, the woman Tilly had been spending time with at London, the woman who'd been ringing and texting her when at Sinaeds. She was so beautiful, she actually reminded Jen of herself in some way, but she was definetly beautiful and really smartly dressed. Jen was sick, this was it. Jen saw the way Laura wasn't ashamed to just go and talk to Tilly infront of people. Teacher or not, Laura just went and told Tilly she thought she'd never see her again.
''What teacher are you?'' Tilly asked. ''General Studies next door'' replied Laura. ''Well, I have general studies next so we will talk then yeah?'' said Tilly trying her best to get rid of her out of this art room. ''Yeah alright then, I will see you soon... And Tilly your an amazing drawer'' Laura smiled and made her way out of the classroom shutting the door behind her.
Great! Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse. Tilly thought. She looked up and saw the terror in Jens eyes, she looked straight into her eyes and smiled towards her beautiful teacher, reasuring Jen that it was nothing but a friendship. Jen let out a breath of relief and smiled right back at Tilly.
When Tilly left the Art room and into her General Studies lesson Jen pulled out the letter Tilly had once wrote. How could I think Tilly could wait? I would hate myself making her wait when she could be missing out on the best years of her life Jen thought. Tears fell from her face as she read over the words i'll wait as long as it takes. Now Jen had seen Laura she was jelous of her. She seamed to be getting a lot of Tillys attention in the past couple of days. The texts, the phonecalls, the smiles. Jens mind wondered back to the day Tilly returned, how happy she was to before she left. But Jen shook herself back, Tilly obviously doesn't like Laura, Tilly would never ever lead me on and I know that. I have nothing to worry about Jen thought
Laura was extatic to see Tilly again. It didn't go unnoticed by Tilly either. As soon as she entered the room she seen Lauras face light up. How could Laura be so calm? compared to Jen this was a whole different story. Laura wasn't afraid to talk to Tilly like normal in public. She wasn't afraid to smile like she was the happiest woman in the world. It was different to Tilly, really different with her being so used to Jen egnoring her during College, not talking to her, not acknowedging her infront of anyone. Its like she doesnt exist to Jen in college but now with Laura its different.
The general studies lesson went on alright, no one asking questions, no one giving Tilly the attention she didnt want nor need and Laura popping over every now and then to see how she was doing and having little conversations with her here and there. It felt nice, course it did. This is how Tilly wished Jen was, the way Laura acts doesn't bring any attention towards them just acting normal where Jen was always on edge when they were in a room together, which definetly brought attention to them.
Laura asked Tilly if she wouldn't mind staying behind during the break so they could have a little catch up and of course Tilly agreed. Anything other than having to sit in the common room listening to the constant whispering around her. So when the lesson ended, everyone packed away other than Tilly who just stayed sat at her desk waiting for everyone to leave the room.
Jen had watched out the door to see Tilly leaving the corridor but she didn't see her. So she knew Tilly must have stayed behind. She felt sick this was not how she'd wanted things to turn out between herself and Tilly. Then her phone vibrated. It was Mr Keeler asking Jen to ask Miss Marriner to help her with the Art room while she had a next free period. Jen didn't really want to go in the classroom next door just incase she walked in on something she didn't want to but she up and left her room and straight into the room next door where Tilly and Laura were sat together laughing and joking around.
Laura just looked up, not a care in the world and Jen and Tilly noticed this. How could she be so calm? Jen thought. I'd think they were a bit to close never mind anyone else and yet she didn't budge and her emotion didn't change one little bit. ''Hey, Mr Keeler asked me to come in and ask you to help out with Art next because you have a free?'' Jen explained. ''Yeah, thats no problem Jen'' Laura smiled. ''Well, I best get off Laura don't want to be late'' Tilly smiled. ''Alright then love, speak soon yeah?'' Laura said hopefully. Tilly nodded and stood up from her desk and walked towards the door where Jen was standing. ''Tilly?'' Laura shouted. Tilly turned around. ''Yeah?'' Tilly questionned. ''Meet me tonight? Just for a chat'' asked Laura. ''Erm, yeah I can do. Got nothing on'' Tilly hurried. ''I'll ring you'' said Laura. ''Okay'' replied Tilly and hurried her way out the door.
Jen watched Tilly as she walked out the door, Tilly turning back and pouting her lips to Jen with a little giggle afterwards made Jens heart flutter.
Laura was definetly not bothered of what people thought about her, she just saw it as being a temp teacher and Tilly being 18 so there was nothing wrong with it, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. It is a little different now Tilly is 18 now but she is still a teacher and Tilly is still a studant. Either way you look at it.
Jen was astonisted too, just asking Tilly to meet up infront of another member of staff. Jen could have been anyone, someone who could have reported it and yet Laura still didn't have a care in the world. Talking about how they met and what they'd done in London. Jen really, really didn't want to know. She thought if Laura kept talking about it she'd literally be sick all over. Her stomach was turning in and out listening to how much fun they'd had. And now seeing how calm Laura is around Tilly makes Jen wonder if she could have just been the same. It would have been so much easier for both of them that way.
For Jen thinking there is someone who wants Tilly only makes Jen even more happy to know the beautiful red head likes her, and no one else. Now, Tilly was still there, fighting for there relationship to work, making her smile every time they saw one another, exchanging loving messages. Tilly is all Jen needed, wanted and Tilly was exactly the same.
Love is uncontrolled, you can't fight love. It's just a good job neither Jen or Tilly wanted to fight it.
For the first time in weeks Jen and Tilly felt there usual selfs again, so alive, so comforted. Even been able to text one another is better than it was before, but of course it's not just the texts that make them smile, it's the usual flirty banter keeping them smiling when there not around one another, the beautiful smiles, the secret touches as they walk past one another. All this without even being scared someone's watching them.
Jen realised by the way Laura reacted when seeing Tilly just how easy it is, just how stupid she'd been acting pusing Tilly away all of the time, she's just so greatful that Tilly came back fighting harder every single time. Jen wouldn't of known what to do if Tilly had just finally given up on there relationship because Tilly was the fighter, and Jen was the lover. Jen didn't have it in her to build up the courage and keep trying and trying to get themselves back on track, and now Jen just wanted to make sure she was going to do things right before she lost Tilly forever.
Jen was tought to take causion when it came to love by her mother, and of course she did ecspecially with Tilly because she knew Tilly would be the one who could break her, not like the rest. Jen has been in a few relationships where she'd been taken for a mug, cheated on and tret like she was worth nothing but with Tilly, she never once did judge Jen on anything, she didnt break any promises and most of all she'd never even think twice about cheating on her. Thats what made Jen feel so protected with Tilly, because she'd never do anything to hurt her.
The rest of the college day went by fast for Jen and Tilly, for once anyways. No troubles to deal with, no one stairing and whispering anymore it was all Tilly wanted, for everything to go back to normal and now it was. Life was looking on the up for her, obviously because she'd finally gotton over herself of being hurt by Jen and not given up so easily.
Just as Tilly returns home from college she remembers she's meeting up with Laura in the coffee shop soon, rather than spending time with Laura she'd much rather be able to spend her time with Jen but obviously just because she was back at Hollyoaks now, and finally getting back with Jen she couldn't just exactly egnore Laura, so instead she had a better idea.
Jen, fancy magicly turning up to coffee shop in 20 minutes? pleaseeee I need to meet Laura and don't really want to be alone :) Much rather look at the most beautiful woman i've ever seen ;) T xxx
Jen pulled out her phone and thought about it a couple of times first, but if Laura was there that would mean if anyone did say anything it wouldn't just be with her, or people would just think I was with Laura. I'm doing it again, thinking of the worst Jen thought angrly to herself. Ah who cares what people think anyways!
Yep, I will see you there don't worry :) Can't wait Jxxx
At the coffee shop Laura bought herself and Tilly a coffee while Tilly purposly found a place to sit where Jen could join in. Tilly kept looking at her phone to see if Jen had text to change her mind but nothing, so Tilly knew Jen wouldn't just let her down.
Finally Laura returned back with the coffee's for herself and Tilly and sat down beside her, Tilly thanked her and they began to talk about how Laura ended up at Hollyoaks in the first place and what she thought about the place until Jen entered the coffee shop. Seeing Laura looking so close to Tilly made Jen feel a little jelous but Tilly invited her here, she wanted her hear for a reason, she wanted her there because she'd rather spend time with her than Laura and that made Jen smile.
''Oh hi Laura'' Jen walked up to them, ''Hello Tilly'' Jen smiled
''Hello Miss Gilmour'' grinned Tilly, ''Hi Jen'' said Laura, ''You want to sit with us?'' Tilly asked, and of course Jen nodded. She wouldn't of even been there if it wasn't for Tilly and she was actually glad Tilly had asked her along.
Straight away Tilly stood up and went to buy Jen a coffee so she could stay longer and join in with the conversations, although Tilly didn't really want to talk about just herself and Laura because she knew Jen wouldn't really want to hear it. When Tilly returned she sat herself down beside Jen and put her legs up as they all began to talk about art. Of course one of the main subjects in Tilly and Jens relationship, it was just different speaking to someone else about it now.
The conversations between the three lasted about a hour before the coffee shop was closing, the whole the way through the conversations each one of them were so interested in what each said about art and Laura was most definetly impressed by being told Tilly was on the right track for Cambridge, after Tilly had finally said her peice of Art herself and Jen noticed Laura smiling at her and stairing into her eyes as she spoke, it took a lot for Tilly not to burst out laughing at the thought of Laura being stuck in a daze at her so she coughed loudly to knock Laura out of her daze and heart 'beautiful'.
''Erm, What did you say?'' Tilly asked, knowing what she'd said really, she just couldn't quite get through it.
''Nothing...erm, I said nothing'' Laura stuttered
Tilly just looked at her, waiting for the real response. This isnt what she wanted, she didn't want Laura to start feel something for her because that would only make her relationship with Jen harder.
''Laura can I ask you something without you getting mad?'' Tilly asked.
''Yeah sure, what is it Tilly?'' Laura asked
''Erm, like you, erm don't see me more than a friend do you?'' Tilly asked
Laura looked at Jen straight away after the question had been asked, she went all red and her words wernt coming out, she tried, tried her hardest to deny what Tilly had just asked but the words just wouldn't come out properly. So Tilly and Jen both new straight away Tillys gut feeling was absolotly right.
''I'm sorry Tilly, I didn't know i'd be teaching you'' Laura nearly cried.
''Look Laura don't worry about it, but you have to know this, us we can only ever be friends. I'm with someone I have been for a while'' said Tilly nicely.
''I know, honestly I know. Were just friends. Erm look I will see you tomorrow I don't feel so good'' said Laura, and with that she was up and left.
Tilly felt a little bad for outing Laura like that but now was not a time she needed troubles with someone else who had feelings for her, she had a gut feeling about it but just really didnt want it to be true, and now she was getting things back on track with Jen she definetly didnt need it.
Jen just looked at Tilly and smiled, it wasnt the easiest thing to do thats for sure and Jen was proud of Tilly, at least now they had no one hanging around when they were trying to sort things out, and most of all they were now alone.
''So where we going to go? because were alone now and you have no excuses'' Tilly laughed
The two decided they'd just spend the night at Tillys, her parents wern't due back home until around 12am so they had plenty time to just do the usual relationship stuff they'd once missed out on. Few DVD's a chinese and a couple of cuddles on the sofa is all they needed for now.
When the pair arrived at Tillys, she locked the door behind her not wanting any unexpected visitors whilst in the company of Jen. Tilly stopped Jen in the corridor after taking there coats of and hanging them up. Tilly couldn't hold back any longer, it was a erdge she couldnt fight if she wanted to. Seconds later she pushed Jen up against the wall in the corridor.
Of course Jen joined in with the kiss, its something she also wanted, needed in fact, it was something she'd been waiting so long for. There tounges danced around in one anothers mouths, so carefully and passionate. Hands moving onto faces and through one anothers hair until Tilly pulled back slowly and looked deep into Jens eyes and smiled.
''I love you Jen Gilmore so much''.