Will of Fire

Chapter Twenty-one: Fools and Sages

"What do you need, Sakura?"

Shikamaru hovered above her, waiting for direction. Her head was reeling, senses made hazy by alcohol.Focus! she told herself angrily, and began directing chakra flow within her body to start metabolizing the alcohol in her system; she was going to need full cognitive function if she was going to take charge of this crisis.

"Clear the floor and lay out the people who are sick," she ordered. "The more they ingested the sicker they'll be; try to gather the priority cases together. Ask the patients who can talk what exactly they ate; we need to identify a common source. Get them to induce vomiting if they can." Shikamaru nodded and left.

Sakura coating the sick man's stomach lining with her chakra to suspend any more poison from entering his system. She soon realized it was the same tree-frog toxin the Moss nin had hit them with before. She looked around and singled out the next available bystander. "Tenten," she said urgently. "Find Hinata right away. She needs to go to the clinic, grab a box of syringes and the antidote Shizune and I made after the last poisoning. She knows where it is."

A small wave of relief washed over her. They may have been caught unawares, but they weren't unprepared.

#

Tenten sprinted toward Hinata's room first, hoping she would be there. She rushed down the hallway of the billets and banged hard on the door. "Hinata! Are you in there?" She heard rustling inside and breathed a sigh of relief, thankful to have found her so quickly. Every minute mattered.

Hinata opened the door, a startled look on her face. She was wearing a sleeping yukata. Tenten noticed movement in the room behind her, and glimpsed Naruto buttoning his pants. "Oh…" she blurted, momentarily startled as she realized what she'd intruded upon. But the situation was dire, and she quickly pushed her shock aside. "There's an emergency. Some of the food was poisoned, a lot of people are sick."

Naruto came to the door and threw it open wider. "What! When did this happen?"

"The first collapsed no more than five minutes ago." She quickly relayed Sakura's message as Hinata rushed to get dressed.

"Is that what that was?" Naruto murmured to himself, rubbing a hand over his stomach.

The two kunoichi froze and stared at him. "You're sick?" Hinata asked worriedly.

He shook his head. "Not really. I felt a little weird a bit ago, but it's gone now. The Kyuubi keeps me from being affected by things like that. I must have only gotten a little." He fumbled around for the rest of his clothes.

"What did you eat?" Tenten wanted to know. "Shikamaru is trying to identify the source."

He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I tried a little of everything." He shook his head, troubled. "Why didn't I sense what was happening?"

"Maybe it means no one's in serious danger yet," Tenten offered hopefully. She looked between the couple. "Maybe you were distracted…"

Both of their faces flushed bright pink. Hinata turned her head away and finished pulling on her boots. Then they ran outside, Hinata sprinting toward the clinic while Naruto and Tenten hurried back to the dining hall.

#

Naruto arrived at the scene to find the situation already coming under control. Kakashi was directing the movement of sick patients to an area that had been cleared for them. Sakura and the Suna medics were there tending to the worst cases, who were unconscious and convulsing. Shikamaru was interviewing the patients who could talk. Shizune looked worried as she held onto a weakened Genma while he threw up, and then helped him over to a place where he could lie down.

Kakashi saw him and made his way over. "I sent out a team to search the temple grounds for anyone who might have left the party before getting sick," he said.

"Good. Do we have any idea what happened?"

"Not yet. Sakura says this is the same poison the Moss nin used on us before, and thankfully she and Shizune were able to make an antidote weeks ago."

Naruto nodded. "Tenten said as much. Hinata's getting it right now." He looked around, counting about twenty people in various stages of illness. "It doesn't seem like anyone else is getting sick now. But how do we know it was just in the food? What if—"

"Most people were drinking the wine provided by the monks," Kakashi said, guessing his point. "If it had been in the drink we'd all be sick. Though it would be a good idea to check our water supply as well."

A quiet fury burned through Naruto at the possibility of what could have happened to his people tonight. "Do you think Moss agents have infiltrated the village?"

"It's the likeliest explanation. We need to investigate; they could still be lurking there."

"See to it, then. Take Naida and the other ANBU. And if you catch anyone…" he gave him a dark look, "bring them back alive."

Kakashi nodded and left. Naruto saw Hinata arrive and run over to Sakura with the antidote. After a minute she looked his way and their eyes met. He gave her a small, meaningful smile, which she returned, and for a moment he was flooded with so much love it pushed everything else to the background. Then she looked away and focused on her task.

He had work to do as well. Naruto watched her a moment longer, and then he went to go talk to Shikamaru.

The medics were able to stabilize the sick within a few hours. Twenty-three in all had been poisoned. The attack was intended to kill them all, but the antidote Sakura and Shizune had worked so hard to create saved all but two—a Sand nin who was allergic to the toxin the same as the first victim weeks ago had been, and another who had left the reception area and wasn't found until he'd suffered multiple organ failure and fallen into a coma. After the antidote was administered, those who were still considerably ill were moved to the clinic for continued care by the medics. The rest were taken to their rooms to rest and sleep through their fevers, with someone assigned to keep an eye on each of them in case anything went wrong.

Sakura was making the rounds when Shizune entered the clinic. They'd taken turns going back to their rooms to change out of their formal clothes, now that they had a chance to do so. Shizune

was gone for quite a while, but Sakura couldn't blame her for lingering at her sick husband's side.

She went over to her. "How is Genma?"

"He's sleeping. He has a fever like everyone else, but he'll be fine."

Sakura grasped her arm in sympathy. "I'm sorry your wedding was ruined," she said quietly.

Shizune gave a light shrug. "It wasn't ruined. It was beautiful and I couldn't have wished for better. The reception kind of sucked…and this definitely puts a damper on our plans for the wedding night, but…" She tried to smile, but it was weak and tired. She inhaled a shaky breath.

Sakura drew her into a hug. "It's alright now. You said it yourself; he'll be fine."

Shizune nodded against her shoulder. "Thanks."

They went back to work. There wasn't much to be done now, and they had four new medics from Suna to help as well, but the severe cases still required monitoring. Thanks to the antidote, the healing process was actually fairly simple. The hard part had been determining how much of the toxin was in each person's system in order to administer the right dose. They couldn't just inject everyone, and the individual assessments were what had taken time.

Shiko followed Sakura everywhere, fetching clean towels, blankets, extra supplies, and relaying messages. The latest report was that Shikamaru believed he'd narrowed down the source of the poison to a particular sweetcake made in the village. Kakashi had taken a team there to investigate how all of this had happened. Temari had contacted Suna as well, and they were using the teleport-relay system they'd set up when the Sand contingent first came to bring in clean food and water.

The clinic was divided with partitions for patient privacy. At the end of her round Sakura slipped into the last cubicle. Hanabi lay asleep on a cot, and next to her, sitting on a stool, was Sai. When he carried her in as the patients were being moved Sakura had told him he could stay, and so he had – for hours.

"Have there been any changes?" she asked him.

He was holding her hand. "She doesn't feel as hot as she did before," he said hopefully.

Sakura seated herself at the edge of the cot and checked Hanabi's vitals. "You're right. Her fever is down, and she's sleeping more restfully." She smiled at her teammate. "She's going to be fine."

Sai nodded. "Rationally, I know that. But for some reason I just…"

Sakura studied him as he watched the sick girl's sleeping face. She knew there was something going on between them, but she hadn't realized it had progressed so far. "How long have you guys been together?" she asked him.

"We're not…together. I think." He frowned slightly. "She kissed me. The night of the bonfire."

Sakura smiled. "Did you kiss back?"

He nodded slowly, recalling the moment. "I'd never done it before…but I think it went well."

She suppressed her amusement; his confusion was sweet, as was the little smile he didn't seem to realize he wore. "You don't know?"

"Nothing happened after that. I think she's waiting for me to do something. I know what's supposed to happen; I've read about it in books. But…"

"It's not that simple in reality."

He sighed softly. "Right."

"But you care for her a lot," Sakura encouraged. "That's why you're here."

He looked down at Hanabi again, and for a long minute the small space was silent except for her slightly labored breathing. Slowly, he reached out and smoothed the damp black hair sticking to her brow. "Yes," he admitted quietly. "I think…I think I love her." He looked back to Sakura. "But it's so confusing. I'm not sure I even really know what love is. How do you know?"

"People have been unable to define love for as long as it's existed. It's just something you know, Sai." She gave him a long look. "The one thing I do know, is that you need to tell her. Don't waste your chance." She glanced down at the pale, feverish girl. "Because next time…"

Sai gazed across the cot at her. "You should take your own advice, Sakura."

He knew about what happened in Suna; it was impossible to keep it from him when all of his teammates were involved. But having the tables turned on her was not what she'd intended. "It's not the same," she dismissed quietly. "Kakashi and I are over."

Sai merely shrugged. "I admit I don't know much about these things, but it seems like that shouldn't really matter."

Sakura stood. "I have to check on the other patients." Sai didn't say anything as she left.

As she passed the next cubicle she looked over at Hinata, who gave her a small, sheepish smile. She didn't know if Sai had been aware, but the older Hyuuga sister had been just on the other side of the partition for some time, listening to every word. The other kunoichi silently fell into step with her.

"What do you think of that?" Sakura whispered amusedly.

"Sai seems like a good person," she whispered back. "I know he's very important to you and Naruto. And I know my sister likes him a lot. I think it's wonderful."

Sakura smiled as well, thinking of the changes the spirited Hanabi had brought about in her teammate. "Me too."

It was almost morning when Sakura left the clinic to find Naruto. "Where did you say he was?" she asked Shiko. She wanted to talk to him and exchange information about the night's events in person.

"The food place," said Shiko. "Where people got sick."

Sakura headed to the dining hall and found it looking like nothing ever happened; tables and chairs were upright, spilled food and wine had been cleaned up, the evidence of sickness washed away. Only the flower garlands remained strung up along the walls and rafters, a wilting reminder of a wonderful night gone wrong.

Naruto was sitting on top of a table, holding a broken wine jug in his hands, his head bowed in deep thought. He looked up when he sensed her approach. "Hey. How is everyone?"

"Still stable," she said. "Most should be up and moving around by tomorrow." She hopped up onto the table next to him. Shiko went underneath, sniffing around.

He smiled. "That's great. How are you and the other medics doing?"

"The Sand medics are doing a lot to ease the workload. I'm sure they told you there was no trace of poison in the water supply, so we can rest easy about that. Has there been any word back from the village?"

Naruto nodded gravely, but then hesitated, clearly reluctant to say more.

Sakura had to press him. "What is it?"

"…They hit the village too. For helping us."

"What?" Sakura jumped up off the table. "We have to go down there!"

"No," Naruto said behind her.

She whipped around and stared at him. "What do you mean, no? If civilians are sick and dying because of us then we need to help them!"

"It wasn't Moss. The villagers reported no visitors with foreign accents. Kakashi thinks it was Root, using Moss poison." He came forward and held her arm, gently but firmly. "Think about it, Sakura. Why would they care about poisoning a tiny village of farmers?"

The possibilities turned over in her mind. A sickening feeling twisted her stomach in knots. "To lure us out… To lure the medics out…" she answered hollowly.

He nodded. "You're tired and drained, but you want to go anyway. They know this too. They're counting on it. Danzou knows how critical our medics are to us."

She stared at him with mounting horror. "Are you saying this entirething was a ploy to target us medics?"

"Shikamaru and Kakashi both think it might be. At least that was the main objective – with an added bonus of whoever else they could kill in the process."

Sakura ran her hands through her hair in dismay. "I can't believe this."

"Can't you?" he said bitterly. "It's Danzou."

Sakura collected herself, her expression firm. "It doesn't matter. We have to help them."

She turned to go, but Naruto held onto her arm. "Youcan't," he repeated. "There are assassins in the jungle and the village; there's a team out there hunting them right now. I know how hard this is, but until it's safe you can't leave."

Her eyes narrowed. "Do you realize what you're saying?"

Naruto's jaw clenched. "Yes, Sakura. I know what I'm saying."

Sakura shook her head imploringly. "We can't just leave them to die…"

He was struggling with this as much as she was, but he didn't yield. He couldn't. "We're at war, Sakura. This is the world we live in. Sometimes hard choices have to be made."

For a long moment Sakura could only stare at him, stunned. "I never thought I'd hear such jaded words from you…"

"I want to help those villagers as much as you do—but not at the risk of our own people. I'm sorry. You have to stay here."

Sakura couldn't quite believe this was actually happening. Naruto had never spoken to her this way. "Are you ordering me?"

Naruto gave her a long, hard look. "Yes," he said rigidly. "…As your Hokage I forbid you to leave this temple until I say otherwise."

He had never spoken it before, never put a title to the responsibility and authority he already carried. But he was the chosen leader of his people, and the shinobi of the Leaf knew their leader as Hokage.

Sakura opened her mouth, and then snapped it shut, her eyes burning. She stiffened and executed a formal bow. "As you say, Hokage-sama." Then she turned and stomped away, her ninken following on her heels.

Naruto took her formality as the blow it was meant to be. He wanted comrades, not servants, and the last thing he ever wanted was for his closest friends to feel subordinate. But if that was what it took to save her life, then he could live with it. When it came to protecting his people…apparently he could live with just about anything.

He sat back down and tiredly rubbed his eyes. The past two years had changed them all in ways they were only beginning to realize, and it still wasn't clear if it was for better or worse.

Sakura stormed to the bathhouse in a fury, not knowing where else to go. She was too keyed up to even try to sleep, and too agitated to be around the resting patients in the clinic.

She filled the bath with hot water from the spring, and as she waited for it to fill she stripped down and hurled every article of clothing at the floor in a huff. She climbed in, not caring if it was still too hot, and submerged herself underwater until she couldn't stand it anymore and popped back up with a gasp. She leaned back against the side and closed her eyes, willing herself to relax and calm down.

She couldn't believe Naruto had forced her to stay at the temple. He had never treated her that way before. He'd never had to, because they hadn't butted heads on an issue since he'd come into a position to enforce his will. And she couldn't believe it was something like this that they fought about! Naruto was the one who always took reckless action in spite of common sense, and Sakura or others tried to make him see the practical side of things. Not the other way around.

She was furious with him, both for what he'd done, and why. She knew deep down that he wasn't indifferent to the villager's suffering, and that it was immensely difficult for him to make that call. He understood – as Sakura did – that there was a lot more to this than their immediate situation. This wasn't about their lives over the lives of the villagers. In the end this was about their purpose in being here, their reason for fighting. If they lost the war they lost everything, and the people left behind in Konoha would be the ones to suffer for it.

Sakura had once said she would do a lot more than steal a few medical supplies in order to take back their home. This was the test of that conviction.

She stayed in the bath so long she ended up dozing off, and woke when she heard birds chirping outside. Shiko was gone, probably back to her own world. The water was still lukewarm, so she couldn't have been asleep that long. She decided to go back to her room to try and get some rest. Tomorrow—or later today, rather—was going to be another long, exhausting day.

As she exited the bathhouse a Sand kunoichi she didn't know approached her. The look on the woman's face warned that she intended a confrontation. "You're the head medic aren't you?" she demanded, stopping well within Sakura's personal space.

"Yes…" Sakura answered. "Is something wrong?"

The other woman's eyes welled with tears. "How could you?" she ground out. "How could you let him die?"

Sakura was stunned. "What—I didn't let anyone—"

"My Kaito!" the woman cried, moving closer, flailing her hands in distress. "Why didn't you save my husband? Why did he die when everyone else lived? Why?"

She must be talking about the Sand shinobi who had the fatal allergic reaction, Sakura realized. Anaphylactic shock was deadly enough, but with a fast acting, highly lethal poison as the cause, simultaneously raging through and doing its own damage…it was over from the beginning. But she couldn't say that to the distraught woman without upsetting her more. She raised her hands, defensive and placating at once. "There was nothing we could do," she explained gently. "He was allergic to the toxin and went into shock—"

"Aren't you supposedly the best medic in Fire country? You didn't do enough! You didn't try hard enough to save him because he wasn't one of your own! We come here to help you and you let our people die!"

The kunoichi closed in on her threateningly. Sakura took a step back, using all of her willpower to stay calm and not make the situation worse. "Please calm down. I know how hard this is, and I'm sorry for your loss—"

"You're just a kid! You know nothing!" She struck out at her.

Sakura caught her fist and shoved it downward, her patience run out. "Stop," she warned sternly. "I won't tell you again."

The Sand kunoichi didn't back down. "Go to hell! This is your fault—"

She struck out again, but this time it wasn't Sakura who blocked her. Suddenly Kakashi was standing between them, holding the woman's forearm with one hand while pressing on her shoulder with the other. Tenzou was with him, and moved behind her.

"Enough," Kakashi told her calmly, but the look he gave her was a clear warning. "What is your name?"

The kunoichi glared at him angrily, but after a moment she relaxed and he let her go. "Shimada Yue," she muttered.

"Yue-san…you know the medics did all they could for everyone. The blame lies with the enemy who did this to us."

Yue looked away, her face rigid as she struggled not to cry. At last she seemed to deflate. "I know," she said weakly. She looked around Kakashi at Sakura, and muttered, "Sorry. I didn't mean it."

"It's alright," Sakura answered, though inside she was still tense and a bit shaken up.

Kakashi gave Tenzou a look. He came forward and laid a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Come on," he urged quietly. "I'll take you back to your room."

"No," she said miserably. "I want to see him…"

Tenzou hesitated, unsure whether that was a good idea. He exchanged glances with his teammates, and when neither objected, he nodded and led her away.

#

Kakashi turned to Sakura as she pressed her hands to her eyes and took a deep, weary breath. Her fingers were trembling. The death of a patient always weighed heavily on her, and the altercation had affected her more than she wanted to show. He laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. She didn't stiffen at his touch, and so he eased his hand a little more toward her back. She bowed her head and leaned toward him slightly, he slipped his arm around her, and they mutually eased into an embrace.

"You know she was just lashing out in grief," he said softly. His hand stroked between her shoulder blades. "Don't take it to heart."

She nodded against him. "I know."

He held her longer than he should have, past the point of platonic comfort. It was a struggle to let her go, to not pull her closer. When he finally drew away she seemed just as reluctant to part, which made it all the harder. She tried to hide the tears in her eyes, and he pretended he hadn't noticed, though inside it was like a kick in the gut.

Sakura turned her face away and wiped discreetly at her eyes, hoping he would think it was just stress and exhaustion. Truthfully it was because of him; the wave of feelings that rushed through her at his presence, his gentle words and the caring look in his eyes, the weight of his arm around her…it was almost too much to take.

They stood there indecisively for a moment, before he asked, "Where were you heading?"

"My room. I was going to try and get some sleep, but who knows if that will happen now…"

He escorted her to the dorms. He never really intended to do more than that, but he found himself walking her to her door, and then following her inside. Shiko was already in there and looked at them curiously when they entered, her dark eyes lingering longest on Kakashi.

"I wondered where you'd gone," Sakura said to her.

"Sleepy," the pup replied without lifting her head from her paws.

Sakura was too tired to change, and only removed her boots before lying down on the futon. She looked up at Kakashi, surprised that he was still there. "I thought you were out tracking Root."

"I came back to report to Naruto," he replied. "He asked me to check on you before I go out again."

She frowned resentfully. "He actually asked you to checkup on me?"

"No," he said calmly, "he asked me to make sure you're okay."

She looked up at the ceiling. "No I'm not okay. He forbid me to leave the temple."

Kakashi hesitated a moment before sitting at the edge of her bed. "You understand why…"

"Yes," she sighed. "But do you know how hard it is for me to accept it? That somehow my life is more important than those of innocent villagers?"

He gazed down at her. "I know. If I knew with absolute certainty that I could protect you from any harm I would take you there myself, right now. You know Naruto would do the same. It's just too dangerous."

Her eyes searched his face, looking for some sign of what she thought she heard in his voice. Why was he here? Did it mean anything? If she asked him to stay…would he? She couldn't bring herself to ask.

Sakura turned on her side, facing him. "Keeping our distance from the village until it's safe to help them feels so wrong… But at the same time, knowingly walking into a trap meant to kill medics and potentially cripple us beyond any hope of victory, abandoning Konoha to whatever fate Danzou inflicts on it is also wrong."

"Sometimes there is no right answer" he said quietly. "Only two wrong ones that have to be weighed against each other. No matter what we do, someone, somewhere is going to lose. That's the ugly nature of war."

"'This is the world we live in...'" she murmured. "That's what Naruto said. I couldn't believe something like that would ever come out of his mouth. But I also know he's right. This is the life we chose. We have to accept what it means to live it."

Kakashi didn't reply. The bitter acceptance in her eyes was hard for him to see, and he wished he could somehow spare her that disillusionment. It was something they all came to eventually; even idealists like Naruto realized there were some things that couldn't be changed. He had no words of comfort to offer her.

Sakura sighed. "Do you ever wish you had just become a teacher or something?"

"Hmm. I've kind of proven that I suck at teaching." He tilted his chin thoughtfully. "I think I would make a pretty good farmer though…" That got her to smile, which was what he intended.

"I can totally see you as a librarian," she said. "You could sit around reading all day…and you'd wear glasses and a sweater-vest. Maybe even a bow-tie."

Kakashi smiled. "Huh. Would I get to throw things at pesky kids who made too much noise?"

"Of course."

"Sounds pretty sweet…maybe I should consider retiring." Glad that her mood was lifting, he encouraged the shift toward lighter thoughts. "What about you? Think you'd be a doctor?"

She pondered it for a moment. "It was only seeing my teammates nearly die a few dozen times that made me want to be a healer. If I'd never become a ninja I think…" a hint of mirth crossed her face, "I think I would have tried my hand at writing romance novels."

"I like the sound of that. Would they be anything like Icha Icha?"

She snorted softly. "I said romance, not smut."

"A very narrow distinction. Have you ever actually read Icha Icha?"

"Yes. I lifted one of yours last month. You never even noticed."

He gave her an amused look. "So you think."

"Anyway, sappy melodramatic nonsense interspersed with graphic sex scenes is hardly romantic."

"Hmm, I don't know…" he mused. "Despite the encounters with random strangers, the main hero's true love interest is always the busty assassin Junko, who is obviously modeled after Tsunade… That's kind of romantic."

She smiled faintly. "Yeah, I guess it is. It's also a little sad. Jiraiya never got his girl in the end because they were both too stubborn to admit they loved each other."

She went quiet, her mood sunk by the uncomfortable parallel she'd just drawn. Though it wasn't really the same, because Kakashi didn't love her. The reality of that was like a crushing weight in her chest. She couldn't look at him anymore. After only a few minutes with him, he'd made her cry, then laugh, and then ache like their breakup happened yesterday. A wave of fatigue washed over her, and she closed her eyes with a sigh. "So tired…"

Kakashi squeezed her arm, and softly told her, "Get some sleep." She was completely out in less than a minute. He didn't get up to leave, just continued to watch her sleeping face, his hand still resting on her arm.

What she'd said a moment ago…she may as well have driven a knife into his chest. He'd never wanted to hurt her, but it seemed to be all he was capable of doing. And his reasons for ending things between them seemed to matter less every day. He still felt the same about her as he had a month ago. In fact, those feelings were stronger. He thought back to less than twelve hours ago when he first saw her at the wedding, how beautiful she'd been in that red yukata, her hair falling in soft waves across her back, glowing in the fading sunlight. How badly he'd wanted to touch her in that brief moment before the ceremony, to pull her to him and kiss those full red lips. It had taken all of his willpower to resist the urge. Yet it wasn't her considerable physical appeal that kept drawing him in. It never had been.

Sakura had crept up on him slowly. Over years and years she'd chipped away at his defensive barriers with her sincerity, their similar sense of humor, and her ability to simply understand him without a lot of trivial words. One day he'd just looked around and realized she had gotten inside, under his skin. Now, when he tried to imagine what his life would be like without her in it, he couldn't. She had taken root in him.

Kakashi slowly brought his hand up and smoothed his fingers over her hair, then down her face, lightly touching the outer corner of her lips. Shiko eyed him watchfully from her spot at the foot of the bed, but he only spared her a glance.

What was he doing here? He needed to keep his distance and at least pretend to be indifferent…but he couldn't. And it wasn't fair to her. Sometimes she looked at him with so much cautious hope in her eyes it was painful to even look at her. It was outright cruel, and he hated himself for what he had done to their relationship. They were both miserable this way, just as she'd said they would be. He'd screwed things up so badly between them.

He exhaled a quiet sigh. Tenzou would be waiting for him by now. He looked down at Sakura again, and carefully leaned down to press his lips to her forehead. He lingered there, breathing her in, remembering the feel of her skin against his, knowing it would have to sustain him for a long time. He wanted to kiss her lips, just for a second, but it wasn't right…and she wouldn't want him to.

Kakashi stood, gazed down at the sleeping kunoichi one last time, and silently left the room to face the long, unpleasant day ahead.

TBC