CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
The Insecurity

"She did something, I know it. I feel it."

"Jesus, Hardison, you're being paranoid," Eliot says as he watches the boy search the room, convinced Sophie did something while she was here like plant a hidden camera or something, like she actually had time to do that or something.

"Come to bed," Parker pouts, holding the covers up to her chin.

"I'm not being paranoid," Hardison says, searching the walls. "She left here too easily."

Jeez.

"Hardison, get your ass into this bed. If you make me get up—"

"One minute."

This is ridiculous.

Eliot sighs and throws the covers off of him, and his feet hit to the cold floor. He wants to be sleeping right now, not executing physical force. "Hardison, you have three seconds."

"Eliot, can you just give me one minute please?"

"One." Hardison continues to search the walls. "TWO." Hardison's still ignoring him. "Fine. Three," Eliot says, and comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist… and picks him up.

"ELIOT! Let me down! I'm not some kind of child that you can just—"

But he's interrupted as Eliot throws him on the bed, and climbs in next to him. Hardison tries to get up, but Eliot hovers over him and puts a hand on his chest and holds him down. "No, it's time to fuckin' sleep, Hardison."

"Eliot…"

"SHHHH," Parker hisses really loudly, and covers Hardison's mouth with her hand. Hardison's eyes go wide. "SLEEPING. TIME." Hardison just nods mutely under her hand. "Good. Now take off your pants, your jeans are scratching my legs."

What would he do without Parker? Hardison apparently only listens to her, and Eliot has the sneaking suspicion its out of fear. Though why he'd be afraid of her and not him, he has no idea. Then again, he might have a little fear of Parker too. But it's that kind of fear that's not really bad or anything. It's the one where you know they have control, and you better listen or else. Which, now, come to think of it, reminds him of his freaking mother.

Wow, he doesn't wanna dwell on that one.

Eliot doesn't know what woke him up in the middle of the night, but it was probably the bathroom light. Eliot grumbles sleepily and pulls himself out of bed, cussing under his breath. He coulda swore he didn't leave the damn thing on. But as he walks into the bathroom and has his hand raised in the air to flip the switch, he pauses.

Parker looks up at him from inside the bathtub. But she isn't taking a bath… she's just sitting there, naked, legs curled up to her chest. Eliot blinks at her for a moment, wondering if he's hallucinating in his half awake state. "Parker?" he asks, sleepily.

"Hi," she says in a small voice. She fidgets a little, but doesn't really look at him.

"What are you doin' in there?" he asks, and leans down to sit on the edge of the tub next to her. "And why are you naked?" Not that Parker really needed a normal reason to do anything, half the time she never did. But hell, this might be the time where something she does actually makes some sort of sense. He runs his fingers through her hair. Something was up.

Parker shrugs lightly. "Went to bed this way," she tells him, but doesn't answer his other question.

Eliot doesn't say anything for a little bit, but watches her. She looks so… small. "You wanna take a bath?" Parker just shrugs, and lets out a little breath. "Let's take a bath," Eliot says, and stands back up to slide off his boxers before turning on the water in the tub.

Parker just sighs.

He doesn't like this Parker. Something's wrong with her, and not in the usual way. As the bath water fills up, he scootches her forward so he can climb in behind her. She leans against his chest, and the only thing that can be heard is the sound of the running water.

"I want bubbles," she says finally.

"I don't have bubblebath."

Parker doesn't answer him, just picks up a bottle of shampoo and starts squeezing it into the running water until small bubbles start to form. Then she turns off the water, sits back, and sighs again. Eliot's hating this silence. Parker usually never shuts up.

"You're getting hard," Parker tells him, as she notices it against her back.

"You're naked, it happens."

"Do you want to have sex with me?"

"No, darlin'. I want you to tell me what's wrong," Eliot says, and wraps his arms around her torso, running his fingers across her stomach under the water.

"It's stupid."

"I'll be the judge of that."

Parker rolls her eyes and little and settles into him more, turning her head to lay on his shoulder, her face in his neck. "Nightmares," she tells him. "I know that's dumb. But I have them all the time. I just want them to go away."

"It ain't dumb, honey. Everyone get's nightmares," Eliot tells her, looking down at her. Her eyes flutter up to look at him.

"Even you?"

Eliot smiles, like the thought of him not having nightmares in his line of work is amusing, because it is. "Yeah, even me."

Parker purses her lips together and nods, wrapping and arm around Eliot's waist. Eliot thinks he's fixed everything (go him) when she says, "Tell me I'm pretty."

"What?"

Twilight zone. Parker became a girl. Hold on. Back up. Rewind.

"Tell me I'm pretty. Don't you think I am?" she asks, and sits up more to look at him.

Eliot blinks at her. How the hell did they switch subjects so quickly? "Yeah… yeah of course I do, Parker. You're beautiful." Because she… she is. She's really beautiful. But what's with this sudden insecurity?

Oh no, is she on her rag? Oh lord…

Parker licks her lips nervously, and Eliot's wondering what's going through her mind. Finally she asks in a small voice, "Then why do you like him better?"

Oh shit. See? He knew this was going to happen.

"Parker, I don't like either of you better than the other," Eliot tells her. Shit. This… okay this sucks. Awkward three in the morning relationship conversation. Not. Liking. It.

"Yeah you do, you're always touching him more," she says. "And you always wanna do sexual things with him more than me."

She's gotta be on her rag.

"Parker, if you want to go down that route… you and Hardison have had sex together, as in without me present. And let me remind you that I heard you two when I was watching the Celtics game, so it wasn't just before we were all together," Eliot tells her. And frankly, as much as he thought it would bother him… it actually didn't. That's when he figured that it might work after all. But now with Parker…

"So?"

"So if anyone has an insecurity issue here, it should be me with you guys."

"Do you?" she asks, looking at him like she's trying to know the answer before he reveals it.

"No," he tells her, honestly. She blinks, like she's surprised that it came out so honest, and then she nods a little. There's silence, and Parker isn't letting him know what the hell's going on inside of her head, so he asks, "We good? You better now?"

"Yeah," she says, but just as Eliot relaxes, these emotions or thoughts, or hell just something, flashes across her face and she takes it back. "No."

Damnit.

"Then what…?"

Parker turns around to face him then, so fast that it makes the water swish and splash out of the tub. She looks in his eyes as she accuses, though in a monotonic voice that creeps him out. "You only fucked me that night because I was naked and easy, and you only fuck me now because I come attached to Alec."

Eliot blinks at her, and then the angry part of him starts to ignite, or maybe that's the offended part. They all feel the same. Who cares if she's on her rag and all emotional, he is not gonna take that. "That's not…! Parker, are you fuckin' serious? You really think that's what this is?"

"Yes."

Yeah, alright, this was making him mad now. He likes Parker, he fucking likes her. And yeah, maybe he never thought he would and yes maybe she was right about the sex the first time. She was naked and she was easy and he just took it. But that is not the case now! And he's fucking offended if she thinks that he's in this little relationship with the three of them just because he thinks it'll be fuckin' easier or something than just trying to steal Hardison away from her.

Which he wouldn't do, just for the record. Not that he couldn't, but he wouldn't.

And what was making him even madder about this? He had NO idea how to fix it. Comfort is not his strong point.

"Parker, you're… you're just fuckin'… you're..."

"See, you can't even think of a word to—"

Fuck this. "You are fuckin' amazing, okay?!" Eliot bursts out, and Parker blinks. But he isn't done. "You are one of the most talented people I have ever met. You're fuckin' smart, you're damn beautiful, and I still have no fucking idea why you – either of you – want me, okay? So just stop fuckin' thinking that you're not special to me, cause you are. OKAY? SHIT, PARKER."

Damn. Feelings. He hates expressing though. It makes his stomach feel like he's gonna be sick.

"What the hell are ya'll screaming about?" Hardison asks as he sleepily stumbles into the bathroom. Shit.

"Sorry man, I didn't mean to wake you up," Eliot apologizes, and then just sighs and leans his head back against the tile heavily. There was a bit of a smacking sound, and Parker's eyes go wide. "I'm fine," Eliot says automatically.

"So what's going on?" Hardison asks with a yawn, looking at the two of them in the tub.

"Eliot likes me," Parker says with a smile, suddenly chipper. Well hey, at least he fixed it. Fucking hormones.

"And that's why ya'll were screaming?" Hardison says, looking at them like they both went insane. "Well then don't like each other anymore so I can get some sleep." And then he shuts off the light on them, his little way of saying 'fuck you, I'm tired' and leaves. They can hear the bed squeak in the bedroom as he flops back down.

Silence.

"It's dark," Parker says, stating the obvious.

"Yeah."

More silence, and Parker moves back over in the tub to lean against him again. "We should go to bed."

"Probably a good idea."

But neither of them move. Parker turns her head and looks up at him, her hand raising up to brush his hair out of his face. He gives her a little smile, not really knowing what she's up to, before she slowly presses her lips against his. It wasn't like any of her other kisses, her kisses that are rushed, needy, desperate, and passionate. This was soft, this was… almost like a word he is so not going to use right now.

She turns and straddles him, making the water move around them. But they're just kissing, and it's weird that Parker doesn't seem to have any other ulterior motives. But it's nice… it's really nice. Her hands are in his hair, and while the kissing's getting deeper, and hell, he's getting harder (he can't help it, blame the nakedness), she doesn't go for his dick. She just kisses him, like she's never kissed him before in his life.

And then they break, and she's breathless for a moment, beautiful in the dim light, her hair hanging down her shoulders only half wet from being submerged and she whispers, "Tell me I'm beautiful again."

The way she says it, it's almost as if she's never been called beautiful before in her life outside of her and Hardison. It almost makes him wonder…

"You're beautiful," he tells her, not dwelling on his thoughts right now, and she smiles and her lips meet his again, pressing his back up against the tile again. It may have been ten minutes, or maybe twenty, or maybe even just five before they break again, and she snuggles back into his chest.

The water's starting to get cold, but neither of them move. "Parker?" he asks in a soft voice. She looks up at him. He's not sure if he should ask this question, but he thinks he needs to. Just to know what exactly he's working with here. "Have you ever had a relationship before?"

Parker chews on her bottom lip a little and shrugs. "I've had sex."

"That's not what I asked."

She sighs a little before she admits, "No…"

He tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, and she looks down into the water, seemingly embarrassed. "Hey," he says softly and she looks up at him. "We won't hurt you," he promises. She looks at him for a long time, as if seeing if she can detect any hint of a lie. And then she smiles, slowly at first, until it lights up her whole face.

Finally they both fall asleep, both still naked and damp from the tub, her in between him and Hardison on the bed. And for the first time Eliot has ever seen, Parker falls asleep with a smile on her face.

However, the next morning, something happened that made the smile go away… and her "special angry place" to rear it's ugly head again.

TBC…