Chapter 21: Past it All

Kurama smiled in amusement as his boyfriend finally made an appearance in the kitchen. The little brunette was disheveled, and his eyes were half open.

"Good morning, Hiei." The redhead said cheerfully.

Hiei just scowled in his direction. He was very much not a morning person."Hn." he replied. "Coffee?"

"On the counter. Do try not to break your mug this time." That was in reference to the fact that Hiei managed to smash a mug at least once every couple of weeks by not paying attention where he was setting it so it fell to the hard kitchen floor.

The swordsman just grumbled at that and opened the cabinet to grab one of the plastic travel mugs that Kurama had bought for him.

Kurama chuckled and turned his attention back to the book he was reading. He knew that his lover was not a morning person, and he had something that he wanted to ask him. So he was content to wait until the other man was properly caffeinated.

Hiei leaned against the counter after he had filled his cup with the steaming liquid and the usual ridiculous amounts of cream and sugar.

"You know, Hiei, there is an obvious joke I could make about sugar and it stunting your growth, but I am fairly confident that you've heard it before."

"Shut up."

Another few minutes passed in silence before Kurama decided to try. "Hiei?" he began.

"What?"

"A couple of weeks ago you mentioned wanting to go visit your mother."

"Yeah…"

"Is today a good day for that?"

Hiei sighed. He drained the rest of his coffee in one gulp and then set the cup in the sink. "I guess." he answered finally.

"I'm not pressuring you." Kurama hurried to assure him. "It just seemed like if I didn't say anything, you wouldn't."

"I thought you'd forgotten, really." Hiei replied.

The gardener shook his head. "No. I was just waiting for you to bring it up. She is, after all, your mother."

"Then yeah, we'll go today. I just gotta get some stuff together."

"Certainly. I think I am getting down to the last of the clothes that I have over here. Remind me to bring some more over tomorrow."

"You know," Hiei remarked offhandedly as he walked toward the stairs. "If you lived here, you wouldn't have to worry about that." Before Kurama could react, the shorter man had practically sprinted up the stairs leaving his stunned boyfriend behind.

Hiei often gloated about how much bigger and better furnished his home was than Kurama's apartment. Not in a malicious way, of course, just teasing. But now…well if Kurama didn't know any better, he would say that Hiei had just done the equivalent of suggesting he move in. But they weren't ready for that. Were they?

An hour later the two of them were in Kurama's car. Hiei was driving, and Kurama was looking out the window at the scenery. "It will be spring soon." he remarked suddenly.

"Hn." Hiei replied. He hadn't been very talkative since they had left the house, leaving Kurama to his own devices. The redhead was noticing that it looked like Hiei hadn't grown up very far from where he had, but in a completely different environment.

They passed a run down foster home, and Hiei's knuckles tightened on the steering wheel. "That's where I used to live." he said softly.

Kurama's emerald gaze took in the building, and his heart ached at the thought that someone he loved so much had to endure a childhood in such an unforgiving place. But soon they were past it, and heading down another street.

This wasn't the best neighborhood from the looks of things. The houses were small and shabby, and the few kids that were out looked thin and undernourished. Hiei pointed to one of the smaller of the homes. It was painted a pale blue that was peeling and seemed to be leaning slightly to the left. "That's where my mother used to live." he whispered.

"Who lives there now?" Kurama wanted to know.

Hiei shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I haven't been in there since before my mother died."

Kurama just nodded. There was a cluster of children at the house next to the one Hina had lived in, and they were all staring at the little Toyota like it was a limo.

"These children…"

"Orphans some of them. Probably from the home. They never did keep good tabs on their charges." Hiei sped the car up, obviously growing uncomfortable. He'd been through this neighborhood more times than he could count, always speeding past the foster home and his mother's house. Now, he felt it was…required…that he play tour guide for the man he loved. He wanted Kurama to see it all, to understand. But at the same time he didn't want his pity or judgment. Hiei wondered if Kurama, with his suburban upbringing and loving family, could ever understand what it felt like to be one of those children.

Soon they were past all the houses, and Hiei breathing quickened. He drove a few minutes outside the little neighborhood to the cemetery.

It was a small affair, only a hundred or so plots surrounded by a rusting iron fence and weeds that were growing unchecked.

Hiei parked on the street and turned the car off. This had seemed like such a good idea before, now he was terrified that Kurama would somehow think less of him.

The perceptive gardener picked up on that. He reached over to where Hiei's hands rested in his lap and took one. He tried to put all the love he felt into his eyes as he squeezed that hand. "When you're ready." was all he said.

"I'm ready." Hiei replied. "I do this all the time. Just not…"

"With another person." Kurama finished. "Not even Yukina?"

The shorter man shook his head. "We've never been here together."

"May I ask why?"

Hiei shrugged. "She deserves to mourn without me hanging all over her."

Kurama got the feeling that that was not the only reason, but he wasn't going to pry. They sat in the car for a little while longer, just looking out at the overcast day. Finally Hiei brought Kurama's hand to his lips and kissed it. "Let's go." he said.

Together they left the car, and Hiei led him up to the hill where his mother was buried. He could tell that Yukina had been there recently, probably before the wedding, because there were the white lilies that she usually left there leaning against the headstone.

Hiei immediately sat down in front of it and bowed his head. Kurama said a quick blessing and then got closer to read the engraving.

Hina Koori

1962-1994

Her love: A perfect frozen gem

May she be remembered

Kurama settled himself next to Hiei and waited.

Finally the little brunette lifted his head. "Mother." he said softly. "I'm sure Yukina has brought her oaf to meet you, so I figured it was my turn. Mine is prettier though."

The redhead chuckled. "I am pleased to be here Ms. Koori." he said. "Your children are wonderful people. I'm sure you're proud of them."

"Kurama's a gardener." Hiei continued. "You'd like him. He has some of those white orchids you used to like so much at his flower shop. I'll have him bring some the next time we visit."

Kurama got up then, subtlety giving his boyfriend some time alone with Hina. He walked along the rows of headstones absently studying the names and dates.

Hiei waited until he was further away and then turned back to the headstone. "I don't deserve him, Mother. Kurama is much too perfect. He says he isn't but I don't think he sees himself very clearly. That such beauty could be mine…it's borderline ridiculous. But I love him, and he loves me, despite the fact that I come from all this. I suppose you know Yukina got married. She looked beautiful. Her husband is an idiot, but he loves her. That much is clear." He talked to his mother for a bit longer and then stood up. He dusted off the back of his pants and then walked over to where Kurama was sitting in a thick patch of grass.

The redhead wordlessly stretched his hand out, and Hiei took it. He sat down next to Kurama who then laid back in the grass.

"I love thick green grass like this. Even though the ground is still cold, it thrives. I could lie here all day." Kurama remarked.

"You're weird."

"Mm. Perhaps. How are you?"

Hiei thought about it. "Fine. I always feel good after talking to her."

"Then it's good you have her here." Kurama hesitated for a moment. "May I ask you something?"

"Hn."

"I'll take that as a yes. Did you speak with your mother about Zeru or Karasu?"

"I did." Hiei admitted. "I figured she wouldn't be able to judge me."

"I see. How…how did she die?"

The shorter man sighed. "She was depressed. According to Rui, she felt bad about having to give me up and not being able to make it work with our father. Yukina says she just wasted away from her sadness."

Kurama reached up to touch Hiei's cheek. "I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago, and I didn't know her that well."

"All the same."

"Thank you. For coming."

"It really was my pleasure. May I ask you something else?"

"You are full of questions today."

The gardener chuckled. "I am naturally inquisitive. Life is a quest for knowledge."

Hiei rolled his eyes. "Ask."

"This morning…you said something."

"That isn't a question."

"Fine." Kurama allowed. "What did you mean by what you said this morning?"

"The thing about you living at my house?"

"Yes, that."

"I would think it's fairly obvious. Things would be easier if you lived at my house. You wouldn't have to bring over as many clothes because they would all be in the place you lived."

"To be fair that's how it was before I started sleeping at your house. Also, you spend just as much time at my apartment as I do at your house."

"My house is bigger. Plus you like my kitchen, and I have a yard."

"So you're trying to lure me with your yard to do what, exactly?"

"I still think it's fairly obvious."

Kurama gave a mischievous smile. "Pretend like I'm dense."

Hiei gave his boyfriend a look. "I hate when you do that." he sighed. "…I want you to move in with me."

Hiei held his breath as Kurama sat up slowly. Green eyes searched his quickly. The truth was, the gardener didn't know what to say. Hiei made all the big leaps in their relationship, but he let Kurama move at his own pace.

Leaving his home would be the ultimate loss of control for Kurama. His apartment was the place where he was at home. It was his, and it was where he retreated when he needed to be alone. If he moved in with Hiei, he would lose that.

But Hiei is as fond of alone time as you are. That was true. It was possible for the two of them to be alone together as Kurama had never been with another person. Then again, everything was new with Hiei.

The one thing he knew, was that no matter what was decided today, nothing would be the same.

Kurama decided then to stop thinking of the consequences, and to start trying to see if he could imagine himself living with Hiei. He saw himself waking up to the other man every morning. Talking to him as they (well, he, for Hiei couldn't cook to save his life) made dinner. Coming home from work and having someone there to greet him. It sounded…

"Yes." he said suddenly.

"What?" Hiei responded, startled.

"I'll do it."

"You will?"

"Yes."

"You'll move in with me?"

"Yes."

"Even though I live fifteen minutes from your shop?"

"Even though."

"Really?"

"Yes, Hiei." Kurama said with a laugh. He pulled the other man to him and captured his lips in a kiss. "Does that make you happy?"

"Inordinately so."

"Wow, that's a big word." the redhead teased.

"Shut up." Hiei kissed Kurama deeply, using his lips to tell him just how happy he was.

Kurama pulled back and made to stand up.

"Where are you going?" Hiei demanded. "I wasn't nearly done with you yet."

"If you haven't noticed, love, we're still in the middle of a graveyard. Let us afford the dead some respect."

"Oh." The little brunette stood up too, and together they made their way back to the car.

"Besides," Kurama said as they pulled away. "We can just finish when we get home."

That put a small smile on Hiei's face as he drove back. Past the house his mother lived in, past the foster home. Past all of the shit in his childhood, headed towards home.

A/N: Whew! One more in the bag. This one kind of took hold of me once I finished writing the part where Hiei talks to Hina. All the back and forth just kinda spewed forth on it's own, and I know it's a little silly and that Hiei is not really himself, but it wanted to be written. So I wrote it. Anyway, I got a request so I'll write that for Friday's chapter, and then on Monday we'll see Kurama getting ready to move in with Hiei. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!