A Seriously Messed Up Series Chapter 21: XIX: Demon Lord of Karanda, a saiyuki fanfic

Disclaimer I own this particular volume of Saiyuki, but I do not own anything resembling Saiyuki's copyrights. Please don't sue me!

Reviews

In general, I am sorry it took so long to update, but my life has been hectic and I haven't had much time to just write. To tell the truth, I had a very bad weekend. My great-grandmother (aged 92) passed away. She had had a good life. Even survived breast cancer! Her final day was spent with family and very happy. When she went, we think it was quick. I'll be unable to go to the funeral as it is in Missouri and that's 18 hours away by car and I don't have the money or vacation to spend on that kind of venture.

On the upside, I did have wonderful news concerning my paycheck and my tax return.

To these things - in memoriam of my Granny and in thanking God for my luck with money - I dedicate this chapter.

Ghost Girl Sora, thanks for the congrats. It should only take three months for everything to be done. Hopefully. Where are you from? And Kami-sama will be turning up this chapter. I look forward to meeting Hazel, too. I was irritated the moment I met him, especially with his fake Southern accent. We don't sound like that, all country-like! We sound hick instead! XD

SakuraEmma29, thank you, and I won't be having children just yet. We want to see more of America and stuff like that before we settle down with some kids. And I really can't judge myself, even, as my uncle proposed to my aunt in the first week of knowing her. And they've been married over twenty years now!

Gokushereticalgirl, yes, poor Goku.

KittyPersona, I hope my marriage works out, too. And the skit was totally random. But it is true what I said. Thoughts are the basis of all things physical.

PhantomoftheBasket, being a wife is currently very lonely and frustrating and doesn't feel like I'm married at all considering he's on the other side of the ocean. I try and talk to him every day, though. Definitely twice a weekend. And it is good that at least you've read it. Now you know what's going on in reality.

A Reviewer, of course Ana would see past his barriers. She's a softy for hard-asses and the motives that drive them. I put some of me in her, after all, and I absolutely adore Dr. House from House. And with Gojyo's mom, that was almost verbatim, how it went. Gojyo is such an amazing character, it is amazing I didn't like him right off. But I think the pervert thing got me before I learned more of his past. As for Sanzo painting on Ana... he'd refuse because it would be a serious blood rush to certain parts of his body he does not want getting blood rushes to. And I'm sure you understand what I mean. He's still in denial, you know.

White Fire Alchemist, thanks for the congrats!

Fujiwara Kumiko, I don't believe the thing about '-dono' is entirely correct. On several occasions in the manga (translated by Tokyo Pop), Hakkai calls Yaone 'Yaone-dono' and in Rurouni Kenshin the manga, Kenshin calls Kaoru 'Kaoru-dono'. It is a sign of respect, yes, but I think it means something more along the lines of 'Miss', 'Madame' or 'Mister' when attached to a name. Thanks, though, for paying attention to subtle things I try to include. It makes me happy when someone can see the phrasing of the story and pick out the quiet jokes-slash-subtle-details.

Holy.priestess, I try so hard to keep them all in character, Ana as well. And it is hard to make them all revolve around each other instead of just around Ana. Thank you for saying my story is one of the best you have read. I appreciate it very much.

Silver-eyed, it is easy enough incorporating Ana as there is so much room for her. Having her interact suitably gets a bit harder. And you will see what Ana does to Kami-sama.

Twilight-to-Nightfall, don't worry about writing as good. You have no idea how many unfinished, unpolished stories I have on my computer. They are jarring and idiotic for the most part. This story has actually been a personal diamond in the rough and I've been slowly polishing it. Just keep stabbing at it and maybe you finally get a good story (in your eyes) pieced together! And remember, an artist is always more critical of their own work than others are.

Miorochi, soon enough. The whole point of A Seriously Messed-Up Series is the two of them getting together and they will be getting together soon enough.

Bluestocking, thank you for the congratulations, and Turkey was awesome. In one shot I visited both Asia and Europe! And the scene in the beginning was in the manga. I don't have the anime series. I actually hate it with a fiery passion because it is so screwed up. Minekura had no hand at all in it! And I have fun with this lot more than what's probably legal.

Jaganshi Mori, glad you liked the word 'befuddled'. I read so many books, especially magic-slash-fantasy books, most people go 'huh' when I accidentally say a phrase that hasn't been used in years. Even my parents, just as big of fantasy readers as I am, will look at me weird. Thank you for your congrats and in time you'll find the right one. Have no fear.

As a general note: I had been told about how my italics steal the spaces either before or after the italicized word. And I had tried to ensure that this didn't happen last chapter. However, even with me trying to do so, a couple of places got marred due to the extraordinary habit FF has of stealing spaces. If you would do me a favor and not worry to much about this. I know I put the spaces in and the stupid things get eaten when next to an italicized word. Forgive me so very much.

Chapter XIX: Demon Lord of Karanda

((In honour of my great grandmother who passed away on Saturday, the first of March, 2008, after having a lovely day with her daughter and granddaughter and her great-grandchildren before her sudden and quick passing on. May she have an eternal place at the Lord Almighty's table and be with all that she loves. Even now, I hear a bell ring and know she has gained her wings. I love you, Granny. God bless you. Your granddaughter, Nikki))

Ana was aware of one thing. Her legs were shaking. They felt like they were jelly. And the reason they were like jelly was the fact that she was hiking up the longest damn staircase she had ever run across even in the worst of luck. Oh… and she was aware of the sweat. The sweat rolling down her face and down Sanzo's face but seemed to be missing on Goku's and Hakkai's faces. Bastard youkai assholes… Especially Goku. He was ahead of all of them.

"Are you two alive over there?" Hakkai said without much panting as he kept pace with them for none of them had Goku's exuberant energy and could keep pace with him as he bounded up the stairs, half-concealed by the strange fog that had rolled in somewhere between the fiftieth and hundredth steps.

Sanzo took the opportunity to bitch. "First the barrier from hell. Then the mountain with no trail. And now, we have the fucking icing on the cake—the longest damn staircase known to the entirety of mankind."

Ana, on the other hand, had no energy to bitch. Not even really to think. Revise that thought… One leg gave out from underneath her and her knee hit the stone. No energy to move really.

"Ow…" she said a moment later, like there wasn't even enough energy in her system to make the sound for pain the moment she felt it. Hakkai paused, looking over his shoulder, and was about to turn back to her but stopped as she stood again, albeit a bit unsteadily, and started walking again, her breaths coming in pants.

"Are you okay, Ana-dono?" he asked, concerned.

She grunted in return and moved up the stairs again as her eyes were glazed over and focused on the steps yet to come. Hakkai sighed internally. The girl wasn't even thinking. She was on autopilot.

"You guys!" called back Goku, looking back to the lollygaggers and surprised at how far they were. "Hurry up!"

"Shut your trap!" snared Sanzo where he lagged further behind Hakkai and Ana lagged even further behind him. "We're not all jocks!"

Suddenly Sanzo's attention was garnered by Hakkai. "Odd," said the demon, pausing to wipe the minimal sweat off his brow. "There's something not quite right about this fog," he mused.

"What?" demanded Sanzo, looking up at him. He really didn't want any more complications.

"This fog… I doubt it is natural. We'd better be careful. We may already be in Kami-sama's hands."

"Wonderful," bit out Sanzo.

Goku, still far in the lead, noticed something up ahead and froze in his steps as the others came up behind him. Ana, noticing the break, came out of her muscular atrophied haze and dropped her hands to her knees as she gasped for breath. She was not, it might be noted, the most muscular of people. This trip had toughened her up considerably but she still was not a tri-athlete by any stretch of the imagination.

The fog cleared slightly from the figure. And everyone immediately froze in shock, surprise… and unknown to the figure… increasing anger.

"…Woah," Gojyo said, coming down the steps, hands in his pockets like he had nothing better to do other than walk down the steps. And his expression was of surprise as his walk down the stairs paused mid-step.

"Gojyo!" yelped Goku in definite shock.

"Son of a bitch!" exclaimed the kappa as he began to walk down the steps to them again. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Goku immediately began stomping up the steps towards him. "What kinda question's that?!" said the irritated, infuriated chimp. "Why're you out here and where's that crazy god guy?!"

Gojyo gave an infuriatingly smug grin. "Glad you asked. I just schooled the little turd. That's what he gets for messin' with Gojyo. Boom!" laughed the kappa.

By this point, Ana's brain was functioning on a higher level than 'lift foot, place foot on higher place, pull self forward, repeat' and her legs weren't shaking too bad. Sanzo seemed to be fairly recovered as well.

"Anyway," continued the kappa as he continued past Goku and towards Hakkai and the two humans, not seeing the change of expression on Goku's face. "Let's scram. There's nothing left to do here."

"…Gojyo," Goku said, garnering the red-head's attention.

"Yeah?" asked the kappa, turning in slight surprise only to be walloped in the head by Goku's fist, which sent him crashing to the ground. The surprise attack had completely caught him off guard and as such, he yelped. "What th'—" he managed to utter before yelping in pain again as Hakkai's foot came down on his hand, crushing his fingers.

"I'm surprised you dare to come back as if nothing had ever happened. Do you think us fools? Hm?" Hakkai asked with a deceptively sweet smile.

"Ha-Hakkai?" Gojyo asked, not understanding exactly what was going on.

"If you dare think we dragged ourselves here to get you, you're out of your goddamn flea-sized brain," Sanzo added, coming forward as his gun was cocked and leveled at his head. "Do you have any idea how much effort you made us waste?"

"W-wait!" gasped Gojyo, looking at the one person that hadn't threatened him yet. "Ana?! Get these guys off my back! What the hell is wrong wi--?!" He failed in his words as he saw her body arc dangerously with lavender lightning.

"You make us worry like hell, make everybody fucking antsy as hell, and then decided to try and put me between a bunch of angry guys who I happen to agree with. You're out of your goddamn mind, just as Sanzo said!" the Latina said, her eyes flat and expression dangerous as the arcs gathered up into her hand. "I'd say we have your ass barbecued, no?" she continued in a cheerful manner laced with poison.

"Time to take it out of your goddamn kappa hide," snarled Sanzo as the lot of them advanced, ready to pulverize him with very eager looks on their faces.

Gojyo's expression was highly confused, not comprehending… not understanding anything other than the fact he was in deep shit. "…Wha? Hang on a—" His words were cut short as Sanzo fired a single round, jerking to one side and barely missing the bullet as it imbedded itself into the stone near his head, yelping out as he did so.

"Stop squirming and you'll die peacefully," Sanzo said simply, though the idea of a struggle and making it more painful for Gojyo was a highly appealing notion.

"Shit!" exclaimed Gojyo, jerking his hand out from under Hakkai's foot and summoning Shakujou with the other, sending them back a bit to dodge the half-efforted swing of one of the blades.

"Oy! Asshole! Watch the fuckin' blade!" snapped Ana as Goku echoed her sentiment, but in cleaner terms.

"Get talking!" rapped out Gojyo, holding the blade in defensive. "How'd you know I'm a fake?!"

The group paused, considering the situation. They had believed him to be for real, but this… imposter… just said he was a fake Gojyo. What the hell?

So that meant… he wasn't their target.

"Whatever—It doesn't matter!" snapped out the Gojyo-duplicate. "Wanna get past?! You'll have to kill me first!" His voice carried an almost maniacal laughing tone to it as he raised the duplicate Shakujou to bring down on Goku's head, the boy conjuring Nyoi-bo in defense and blocking him. To Goku, fighting someone that hadn't even angered him or was truly trying to kill him (despite the fact he wanted to kill the bastard who's face the duplicate wore), he really didn't want to fight. And so, at that point, Hakkai offered good advice.

"Goku!" he called. "If it helps to inspire you, pretend he's the real one!"

"Good call!" chirped the chimp.

"Huh?" asked the confused doppelganger as Goku's effort was suddenly much stronger.

"This garbage is all your fault!" he yelled in the double's face before overpowering him and throwing him back with a surprised yelp. "Sanzo's all pissy, Hakkai's frickin' scary, Ana's not even nice ta me… an' I spent th' afternoon gettin' painted on!"

Gojyo tumbled to rest at Ana's feet, who was looking decidedly murderous. "And that's not even the half of it," she said calmly as she planted her foot into his chest and sent electric current through his body, making him arch in pain as he screamed, his eyes wide. "You have any idea how much your stupidity in running off has fucked things over? Let me enlighten you… in something other than General Electric light bulb style." She lifted her foot, giving him a break for the moment. "It's hard to stand any one of their presences because all they're fucking concerned about is howwrong it feels not having you around. Goku, I tell ya… stops making sense the moment you're out of fucking earshot to tease and fight with him. Way to go, asshole." She turned slightly. "Oy, Hakkai. I think you've got somethin' ta say?" she said 'lightly' as she stepped on the duplicate's chest, shocking him once more as she forced the lightning past the rubber of her boots, and rolling him back behind her to the waiting green-eyed demon.

Hakkai took her offer and kindly grabbed the fake by the arm and pulled the appendage back into a very awkwardly strained position. "Thank you, Ana-dono," he said to her with a smile before turning one that screamed merde onto the prone form, twitching in pain. "Really, she is quite right. Besides that point, the next time you feel the need to desert, please refrain from doing so. Am I quite clear?" He smiled eerily as he twisted the arm, firmly breaking it as the fake screamed out in pain. "I suppose so," he said 'benignly' as blood and bone protruded-slash-spurted from the wound. "I believe it is your turn now, Sanzo," he said then, making a by-your-leave gesture towards Gojyo while smiling at the pissed priest.

The response he got was the sound of a hammer being pulled back. "This is like that fantasy I keep having," Sanzo said in a chill voice, his mouth turned upwards in a sadistically pleased grin as flat eyes pinned the in-pain wannabe-kappa to the spot just as the threat of a gunshot. "I get to pull the trigger on you rage-inspiring face. How nice when dreams come true… Isn't it?"

"Wait! P-please!" cried the terrified fake."Can't we—" Whatever he was going to plea for was lost in the gunshot that pierced between his eyes, making him crumble into red beads that clacked and popped on the stone steps as they rolled into tiny depressions and settled either nearby or far away down the stair.

"Hmph…" Hakkai said, putting his hands on his hips and then sighing in a very unsatisfied manner. "No… no. That certainly was far from satisfying. At least the real thing would have fought back just a bit." He clucked his tongue.

"Man… I got hungry for nuthin'," whined Goku, slumping slightly.

Ana grinned. "At least that got my brain working again!" she said cheerfully. "And it was kinda therapeutic, no?"

"Yes. 'Kind of' therapeutic. It would have been better if it had actually been Gojyo, though," Hakkai replied.

"All right," Sanzo said impatiently. "Rehearsal's over. Let's kill ourselves something genuine."

"And even more therapeutic!" chirped Ana, feeling loads better but still wanting to try the Cockroach dance on a certain Cockroach's balls.

And with that, the four of them continued up the stairs… looking for a real red-head that they wanted to murder.

Meanwhile, the red-head they were searching for was trying to play punch the fruit loop but was failing miserably as his fists didn't ever seem to land on the freak. "Stop… moving!" snarled the stubbly cockroach as yet another aimed punch missed by mere centimeters.

Kami-sama vanished and landed on a nearby pillar. "Hey," came the 'cutely' confused voice of the 'attack-ee'. "Why aren't you using your weapon?" he asked, cocking his head slightly, irritating Gojyo in the 'imitation' of Ana's own head-cock.

"'Cause I know you'll just turn into beads," replied Gojyo in the least-pissed, most spunky-slash-smart-ass tone he could muster. "Besides," he continued with a smirk. "It feels a lot better cramming my fist into your gut."

"Hee hee!" laughed Kami-sama. "So this is kinda like tag, right?" he asked with a wide grin, liking this 'game'. "Okay! If you can touch me, you win!" chirped the strange man.

"…However the hell you wanna do it," Gojyo replied, pissed by the guy's carefree attitude. He lifted his foot and slammed it into the pillar Kami-sama stood on. "Just lose the damn attitude, you crazy ass prick!" he snarled as the entire pillar crumbled into chunks.

He missed and Kami-sama laughed delightedly. "Ha ha! You're strong and dumb!" The guy landed lightly with a tap of his sandal on the stone as Gojyo spun on heel and lunged at him. Kami-sama threw himself backwards, stopping before the doors of his castle and sing-songed: "Missed me, missed me! Ha ha!"

Gojyo swung again and Kami-sama vanished once again, appearing behind him. Gojyo's momentum would have sent him crashing into the metal doors, but they swung open, letting him tumble end over end and skid along his back into the interior of the castle. The kappa rolled to his feet as Kami-sama's voice rang out once again in a very 'tut-tut' manner.

"And you're not very polite. When you enter someone's home, you're supposed to say, 'I humbly intrude'."

"Stop with the running and the fucking lectures and fight, dammit!" cried out Gojyo.

"Hm… you sure?" asked Kami-sama as his entire demeanor changed to a dark one. "You'll die, you know," came the words as the beads draping his form suddenly took on life of their own and shot forward at a high speed to pierce his gut and leg in several places.

Gojyo couldn't help but gasp and blood came to his lips, coughed up with bile, as he fell to the floor from the force of the beads. "Nngh…" he groaned.'They're too fast. I can't… dodge!'

However, the beads weren't done with him yet as they lifted up and threw him.

"Awwww… I told you so," came Kami-sama's voice as he gasped for breath. The madman gripped a strand of the ceaseless seeming beads , pulling it loose from Gojyo's pain wracked body. A moan escaped from the kappa's lips, but he laid there for a moment, trying to catch his breath. "Are you broken already?" asked the freak as he edged closer to inspect the still half-demon. Gojyo took the opportunity to lash out at him with his foot, forcing Kami-sama away in surprise. "Ha ha ha!" he laughed once he had recovered from his surprise. "You're pretty durable after all! I like this game! Can we play some more?"

"Listen to me, you little snot," gasped Gojyo as he sat up, his expression dark as he folded his arms over his stomach to try and stem the flow of blood. "I don't give a rat's ass what you are. Just tell me something! What the hell would possess you to turn kids into murderers… just so you can kill them whenever they're done?!"

A look of confusion showed on Kami-sama's face for a moment before dawning comprehension overtook him. "Oh. I see. The little boys, right?" He smiled as he glanced off to one side, as though it meant nothing to him… and it really didn't. "I wanted a few new toys. I sent them to get some for me. They were mine."

That wasn't quite the answer Gojyo expected and he just stared at him for a long moment. But the moment was broken as Kami-sama continued.

"And I can do whatever I want to what's mine," he grinned.

"Grr…" snarled Gojyo as he stood. "Burn in hell, you psycho!" he shouted as he attempted to lunge forward, however his progress was almost immediately halted by the sudden presence of Kami-sama's beads around his neck, grasping and strangling as he was lifted up in the air.

"Come on, Mister Red," Kami-sama said as Gojyo gagged for air. "Be my toy. You're tough and so totally fun. You'll become one of my favorites for sure!"

Gojyo gagged, grasping at the beads to pull them loose, but to no avail.

However, a gunshot cracked off and broke the chain of beads holding him aloft much to both his and Kami-sama's shock… though Gojyo felt more relief.

"W-what just…" gasped Gojyo even as Kami-sama turned to look at what had caused the disturbance. Standing in the doorway of the castle stood four rather pissed individuals all holding rather hostile poses as they observed the scene.

"Tch," came the voice of someone that Gojyo thought he'd be glad to hear as he turned to behold Sanzo and the others. "You pathetic little tart," spat Sanzo.

"B-but…" came Gojyo's confused reply.

Goku pushed past Sanzo and delivered a kick to a rather stunned Gojyo's jaw right before the rest of them joined in on the one-step Hokey Pokey… Put your favorite foot in and stomp the roach as said roach yelps in pain and protest as he tries to protect his head. It's all the rage currently. "Hey! Ow! What're you—Agh!" He threw his arms out to knock their legs away before clutching at his cranium in pain. "Stop it, goddamnit!" he yelled in shock. "What in the hell iswrong with you all?!"

Now that their anger had been settled down to a slow simmer for the moment, Hakkai observed their surroundings with a cool air and said, "'What', indeed. Didn't I warn you that using cans as ashtrays will earn you retribution?" The green-eyed youkai smiled at Gojyo in a half-way playful smirk.

"…Right. Sorry," smirked back Gojyo.

The four irate Ikkou members stepped in front of Gojyo in an almost protective gesture. "Hate to rain on your parade," Sanzo said flatly. "But the disposal of this waste of skin is rightfully ours."

"Um… Crap," murmured Gojyo.

"And you'd better be quiet or else," murmured Ana to the kappa in a low tone, gaining a startled look from him.

"We'd appreciate you not moving in on our territory," Sanzo continued.

Kami-sama just began to smirk and it began to slowly become a grin. "No, no," he refused. "You can't do that. I'm not handing over my new toy." The 'God' watched them in amusement as they gained similar 'you're fucking with the wrong person' looks.

"If you will kindly recall, no one 'handed over' Gojyo in the first place," Hakkai said flatly, crossing his arms over his chest and his false smile vapor on the wind.

"Damn straight!" said Ana, placing her hands on her hips.

"So take that!" barked out Goku, trying to sound tough as he lifted a threatening fist.

"Hey!" protested Gojyo, not liking this arguing over his own life and hide. "I'mkilling this girly punk, got that?!" he snapped out as he continued to clutch at profusely bleeding wounds. "You think I'd just leave after coming this far and saying 'I humbly intrude'?!"

"Bah. You were losing when we saved your sorry ass," Sanzo said, not even looking at him and gaining an angry look that he happened to have missed coming from Gojyo behind his back.

Goku's knuckles cracked as he popped them. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Less talkie and more fightie!"

Gojyo was falling back into his old rhythms as he felt it was a good idea to insert a wisecrack at the monkey. "Aw… the little monkey's talking tough! How cute!"

"Shaddup, ya hairy, stubbly cockroach!" bit out Goku, over his shoulder as Gojyo grinned.

"Speaking of stubble," Ana smirked. "Did you know you have one piss-poor beard started there? All you got is a couple dozen hairs growing in. Talk about scraggly. And wimpy."

"You callin' me wimpy?!" growled Gojyo, whipping around to glare at her even though she continued to smirk, tapping her fingers of her right hand on her hip.

"Somethin' like that, I suppose. But you said it, not me."

"Ah! It's good to be back together!" laughed Hakkai, tucking a hand into his pocket.

"I'm astounded by the stupidity," bit out Sanzo, not enjoying the byplay between the girl and her friends.

The playing was cut short at the sound of a giggle that was unfamiliar to them but recently. It then turned into a full blown laugh and they turned to see Kami-sama laughing his ass off at something… likely them.

"…What's so funny?" 'asked' Sanzo.

Kami-sama wiped away a tear of amusement even as he explained. "You guys are great! You really think you can beat me!" He dropped his hand away from his face and pressed the fingertips of his hands together before him. "But you're all so very weak!" he continued, smiling widely still. "You'd never beat me in a million years."

The five of them watched the fruitcake warily as Gojyo got to his feet with the assistance of Hakkai and Goku, both of them having trained narrowed eyes upon Kami-sama, as had Ana. Only she was facing him and just a bit behind Sanzo.

"You! Mister Blondie!" Kami-sama said, calling Sanzo's attention to his words as he was the only 'Mister Blondie'. "You're a Sanzo priest, right?"

"What's it to you?" Sanzo asked acidly.

"You really shouldn't bother. You're not worthy of the job," Kami-sama said.

Wrong thing to tell a priest with an itchy trigger finger who's already mad at you. Sanzo fired three shots off, forcing the freak to dodge, an insanely happy grin still on his face. Note the use of the word 'insane' there.

He laughed before speaking again, landing a bit of a distance away. "Ooh, now he's mad! Does that mean I'm right?" he asked 'rhetorically'.

"Tch!" bit out Sanzo as Goku threw himself towards Kami-sama, summoning Nyoi-Bo as he did so. "Eat this!"

He missed and created a large crater in the wall instead.

"Wow," said the one he had intended to turn into a crater, effectively startling the chimp. "I'm glad I dodged that."

"Goku! Get down!" shouted Hakkai as he charged up his chi. Goku obligingly ducked as a blast of chi destroyed the already weakened wall… and Kami-sama with it, according to all visuals.

However, a moment later…

A sandaled foot stepped on the rubble of the wall. "Darn," he said with a pout on his face. "I hope you're planning to pay for that."

"Fuck you!" snapped out Ana, as she charged her own lightning and actually, through her anger, shot off a bolt of lightning at him.

Naturally, the bastard dodged to one side, looking at the passing energy with surprise. "Lightning in my own house. Weird." He looked at her and wagged a finger. "That's not very lady-like language," he tutted her.

"How?" she murmured, surprised he dodged what was one of her fastest attacks. Second time she had done that and… he had dodged it!

"Stop running, you pussy!" snarled Gojyo, not liking the fact that all Kami-sama seemed to be doing is mock them.

"That's not very fair—You're fighting me five on one," Kami-sama replied, looking affronted that Gojyo had even 'suggested' that he stop playing around.

"Quit talkin' an' show us what ya got!" Goku said, very pissed. "Cuz we wanna real fight!" As he said that, the group sans Sanzo threw themselves forward to hit him with everything they had.

Kami-sama smiled as some odd device formed in his head. "I guess I'd better," he sighed. "But just a little, okay?" He moved it in a somewhat slashing motion…

And the next thing they knew was their bodies wracked with pain, their advance stopped, the blood running from suddenly painful areas of their body…

And themselves landing roughly in various positions, blood coming from their mouths as their expressions showed their shock. Hakkai himself slammed into the base of a wall as the rest of them hit the floor on their backs.

"There. Are you happy now?" asked Kami-sama as he tossed the strange weapon up in the air before catching it again, widely grinning despite the pain filled gasps, hacks, and coughs of the Sanzo-Ikkou filling the air as their brains realized the pain their bodies were in and to clear the fluid in their mouths.

The pain was unbelievable. All their faces were contorted and Ana, whom had never felt such pain could do nothing more than gasp and cry a river of tears as her head laid 'conveniently' in the direction of a gasping and blood-hacking Sanzo, who's own eyes were wide with the unbelievable pain. Ana was aware of the blood running into her own mouth and the coughs she produced to clear the fluid, forming a trickle from the corner of her mouth that was closest to the floor. It hurt… so much. She knew the others must be feeling the same…

Suddenly Goku began to writhe, clutching at one of the wounds as he screamed. "Oh, boy," mused Kami-sama as he stepped over to the disabled chimp. "There must still be a bead inside you. You poor thing," he said to him, reaching out a 'sympathetic' hand to 'lend' assistance. The hand bit into already painful flesh and dug inside the wound, causing truly agonized screams to be heard from the second-youngest's mouth.

"Goku…!" gasped Sanzo, incapable of getting up.

"There you go! Don't worry. I got it!" chirped Kami-sama, removing his hand and revealing a bloodied bead. He stood and stepped away from the bloodied floor around Goku. "Did you think you could win if you attacked me together?" he asked, walking over to Sanzo. "I feel bad for weak people who think they're strong."

Sanzo could sense the danger was worse than it seemed at that moment. He watched as the bastard stepped over Ana's prone form, the girl's breathing coming in pained hacking gasps. 'Get away from her!' he thought, struggling to move and finding himself incapable of doing anything more than roll over as pain bit harshly into his body.'Fuck! I can't move! He must have gone for the joints.'

"I'm guessing that's the way you are," Kami-sama mused, kneeling down next to the priest. "You know—Rushing into things like you have a chance," he continued conversationally, kneeling down next to Sanzo's gasping form as he crossed his arms. "Hey. Do you know what muichimotsu is?" It caused Sanzo to pause in his breath from the shock though he was forced to hack an instant later. "My sensei told me about it," Kami-sama continued. "'If you meet Buddha, kill him. If you meet the patriarchs, kill them. Free of all, bound by nothing…' Have you heard of that? It means you should keep from getting trapped by desires." He smiled in a reminiscent manner. "I think you're all too attached. You want to live… and you want to win."

Sanzo was still stuck on the fact that he had uttered the words of his master through a haze of pain.

"That's what I mean," Kami-sama said decisively as he unfolded his arms and reached out his left hand to grasp the sutra about Sanzo's shoulders with a more gleeful smile. "You're a bad priest. The title of Sanzo's not for people like you," he continued as he lifted the sutra free of the priest's shoulders much to Sanzo's horrified shock. It forced him into movement, grasping his gun and lifting it to aim at the thieving freak, but his effort was cut short by a vicious kick to his chin, sending him into the air and back onto his back. He hit the ground, blood spattering.

"I bet it's weird for you. Dying in a place like this, I mean," Kami-sama pressed on, placing the sutra about his shoulders with a flourish. "Everyone's like that. They think that they're ready for death, but when it comes time, they still resist." He laughed. "I bet you don't want to die. What a pathetic way to go."

Sanzo couldn't move. He hurt way too damn much as he faded in and out of consciousness.

Noticing the lack of attention, Kami-sama looked at his 'audience'. "Hm… maybe you can't hear me anymore. Anyway," he said as he stepped forward to put a foot on Sanzo's head to crush it in.

Ana watched, her eyes wide still as she watched in shock. 'Sanzo…!' she thought desperately, watching him make no move to force Kami-sama off of him as the freak bore down on his head.

"Goodbye, Honorable Priest Sanzo-kun," grinned the bastard, but his exultation was cut short by the sudden presence of Shakujou's chain around his foot, jerking him off balance. The next thing Kami-sama knew was being thrown into the rubble of the wall. The cause of the attack walked forward unsteadily as his shoulder spurted blood, his hand trying to stopper it. "G-go to hell… you piss-drinking fuck!" he spat, his face contorted in determination and pain.

"Woah—" said a startled-but-recovering-from-the-shock Kami-sama as he stood. "You surprised me! But I guess you can't underestimate even an insect's will to live. Cool."

Gojyo froze in shock.'He's not even scratched!'

"But I'm sure it was all you could do to get up," he mused. "Hm…" At that moment, he gathered a fist of chain and said some kind of Buddhist spell. Suddenly, the chain that had been coiled around Kami-sama's leg was now tightening around Gojyo's arm. Suddenly, he hauled back and yanked Gojyo off balance to hit the floor. "You should've gone to sleep like a good little boy," Kami-sama continued, nodding to himself in an agreeing manner. "Don't you think?" he asked of Gojyo as the kappa gasped in pain, coughing bloody spittle again. "'Bad children must be punished', right?"

"Son of a—" gasped Gojyo as he struggled to his feet again to try and attack again, but suddenly froze in surprise as Kami-sama began to shout in surprise and annoyance.

"Hey!" he cried as Hakuryuu clawed and flapped in his face, chirping angrily. "Ow! What the heck is—Ow!"

"Jeep?!" cried out a startled Gojyo.

"Kyuuuu!" Jeep called, angry that this man had hurt his friends.

"Jeep! Transform!" called Gojyo, bringing the tiny dragon away from Kami-sama and to a clear area of the floor, the kappa already moving to gather up Goku and Hakkai. Once the dragon transformed, he threw the two unconscious souls haphazardly into the back seat before moving as fast as he could to grab Sanzo and Ana, slinging them too into the car's interior.

"What do you think you're doing?" cried Kami-sama, not understanding the motions clearly enough.

"What does it look like, asshole?!" snarled back Gojyo as he threw himself into the driver's seat. "I'm running the fuckin' hell away!"

Jeep's tires spun and the car launched forward through the doors of the castle, Kami-sama vainly trying to stop them at the door of the castle itself. They got to the head of the stairs and Gojyo directed Jiipu to drive down the stairs.

"No fair!" cried Kami-sama, pursuing them still, much to Gojyo's horror. Hakkai, whom had gathered enough consciousness to him during the whole thing of being thrown into the car. He reared up and threw his hands into the air, aiming a chi blast at Kami-sama and forcing the man back.

"Hakkai!" shouted a startled Gojyo, not expecting the help from the backseat.

"K-keep driving!" gasped Hakkai, slumping down again, his face visibly a bloody mess as he cast a look over his shoulder to aim the words to Gojyo.

"Right!" said the kappa as he punched it.

Behind them, Kami-sama laughed like the crazy he was and cried out gleefully, "Scaredy cats! You scaredy cats!"

And they ran as fast as they could, scared, wounded, and praying he wouldn't come after him. They managed to get back to town late that night, all of them near-dead. The inn they had stayed at before was luckily still open and when the barkeep had seen the condition they all were in immediately gave them a pair of rooms and called the doctor to patch them up.

They had been beaten… and bad.

It was a couple of days later.