Happy New Year!

Apologies for the long wait. I am aware this chapter probably isn't what everyone expected, trust me its not what i expected. but when i sat down to write - this is what came out. I did try and write another chapter, one that would be cohesive with that last but that was a complete disaster. Some of you may know how resistant I am when it comes to fillers, i just loath them which is perhaps why I couldn't write the chapter. So please find below a little passage on the background to this chapter.

"You can't just expect me to be okay with this!" Bella shouted at me from across her bedroom. "I'm not okay with this" her fingers dove into her hair again and I winced as she ripped at her curls.

"I don't know what I expected" I growled at her lowly. "But you need to calm down," I tried to reason with her.

"Calm?" she snorted "I am fucking calm," Bella was so worked up her entire body was a red hue of anger. "I can't keep doing this" she collapsed onto her bed, her head in her hands. "I can't" she sobbed quietly.

"Tell me how to make this right" I pleaded with her desperately, my heart breaking with each sob. I had never felt this much pain in my entire life than i had in these past few days. Not when she had shut the door in my face. Not when she had stopped picking up my calls or replying to my messages. Not when she had said she needed time to think things through. Not when she had pushed me away, ignore me until a couple weeks back. I wanted to work through this but Bella just wasn't ready to even entertain the thought. "I'm sorry" I told again, no longer able to count how many times I had said the words in the last two months. "I want to make this right."

"It means nothing to me" she whispered with a shrug of her shoulders, I knew that she was immune to my apologies. I could see it in her eyes, the false acceptance, and the annoyed sigh and the twitch of her shoulder. "I can't forgive you for what you've done to me" she spoke. "I thought I was okay with it, because we weren't together…but the more I think about it…the more I hate you for it." She spoke with a dead tone. "You're my imprint" she breathed exasperated "I want to be with you, but I can't…" she trailed off.

"It's okay" I spoke softly.

"I can't look at you and not see what you've done" she threw her hands up in surrender. "I can't be with you until I know you've been punished…the right way."

PPOV

It was a closed meeting, only the pack was invited, I watched as the elders took their seats in the arc of chairs before me. They were all wearing thick animal skin apparel, ash red markings across their hands and face. The hall's only main light source was a fire blazing between the elders and I. I watched as the smoke from the fire was released into the night sky through a wide hole in the ceiling; the opening too big for its purpose, making the candles in the hall flicker with the wind tunnelling through the gap.

"Kneel" Elder Stone spat at us. There was a gasp from one of the girls sitting in the benches behind us. I looked over at Jacob with a knowing smirk on my face before dropping to my knees. And predictably he glanced over his shoulder at his imprint, making sure she was okay. As far I as I could tell she was a mess of tears and snot. "Cast those eyes to the ground youngling" Elder Stone roared, "Tonight your fate resides with us. Not her." This elder was not one to fuck with at a time like this and we both knew it. Elder Stone was a tall guy, annoyingly wise and hard up when it came to right and wrong, imposingly so. But Jake still sank to his knees more reluctantly than I thought he was capable of. "It will serve you right to know your place here, Jacob" the elder sneered at him.

I glanced up at the council in front of me to see Billy with his head bowed in shame. He looked between the two of us and then at Bella who was standing just off to the side. The rest of the council looked either unconcerned or wound tight to the point of restlessness. I knew some council members had an issue with my imprint and I'd be damned if she was made to feel the slightest bit unwelcomed at this meeting. If I felt she was anything but safe I would shut this thing down faster than a blink of an eye. I didn't need hierarchical prejudice upsetting her, especially since this was all for her benefit.

"You, Paul lahote, kneel before us as a request from one Isabella Marie Swan" Billy's voice echoed against the cold walls of the hall. "And you, Jacob Black from your alpha, Samuel Uley" his voice taking on a more firm tone as the words flew out of his mouth. "Elder Atera will proceed with Samuel's request first."

"State the offense" Old Quil demanded as he stood to address the room, "make it brief."

"I seek guidance on punishment for misconduct: for disregarding pack duties, repeated transgressions against pack members, disharmony and offenses against my Beta's imprint, Bella." Sam's voice softened with her name.

"Do you deny this, Jacob?" Old Quil challenged.

I could feel him burning a hole into the side of my head trying to gage my reaction to the question undoubtedly. Instead of indulge him I focused on the flickering flames of the fire instead. "No" he sighed dejectedly, saving himself a broken bone or two.

"Very well then" old Quil sat back in his seat, surprised with how quick Jake had caved, "your punishment will follow after consultation with the council."

"Bella," Billy called softly "step forward a bit," he indicated the distance with a flick of his hand. I chose to ignore the irritated looks he was receiving from the rest of the elders and focused on Bella instead as she shuffled her feet toward the fire.

"The offence?" the elder sitting immediate left of Billy, Jackson, spoke harshly making Bella jump. The muscles in my leg twitched to move toward her. Sam must have noticed, "easy" his voice carried to my ear in a whisper.

"Erm…he..umm" she couldn't pull the words past her lips, I glanced over the council to see Elder Jackson's brow pull in annoyance. Great fucking start babe, she needed to prepare for this, get her fucking ducks in order. Obviously she hadn't listened to a word I told her. "He hasn't been a very goo-"

I cut her off "Crimes against my imprint."

"Quiet" he stood abruptly from his chair "you will speak when spoken to" he spat in a dangerous tone, one that promised suffering. "Can you not speak for yourself, pale face?" His words laced with poison.

I knew he was testing my restraint, my balance of tribe over imprint. And fucker was delusional if the thought I'd let this shit slide. A hard hand slammed me back down onto the floor when I tried to stand. "He's testing you" Sam pointed out "you're out of this tribe if you so much as look at him the wrong way."

"You don't think I know that" I growled lowly, scanning the council with a hard looj. "I fucking know" I shoved his hand away from my shoulder but he didn't move from his place behind me.

"Crimes against me?" She echoed my phrase with an edge of confusion timidly.

"You have to present you case, Bella" Billy smiled encouragingly at her for which I was grateful. "Be more specific" he urged her.

After a moment of thought, "he's been sleeping around" she blurted out nervously, She shrugged her shoulders just like every other time.

"He's mean to me," she bristled, "abusive at times, as if he's punishing me for being his imprint." My chest hurt as she spoke, "I can't trust him, accept him until I put this behind me I don't think I can do that until I know he's been punished for this, I can't be his imprint until I know for sure he understands what he's put me through, until he atones for his behaviour." This time Sam's hand wasn't there to restrain me but it was there out of comfort for his friend. Because inside I was dying and he knew how it felt, it wasn't too long ago he was in the same position I was in.

"Do you feel betrayed?" Billy asked. She nodded her head positively, and just like that, I knew my punishment.

The scraping noise pierced through my head, "we are all quite familiar with Paul's tendencies. But you are no saint either, pale face" this fucker was going down. "You were involved with a Cold One" he spat at her, the beginnings of a growl brewing deep inside my soul. "Fraternising with the enemy, maybe your worth as an imprint should be questioned" he threw a smirk at me.

My growl echoed through the hall. Sam's hand pulled me back from an attack.

"You can do that?" panic was rolling off her in waves.

"I am an Elder" he stepped to her, "you do not have the right to question me." he sneered in her face, Bella instantly tucked her chin to her chest. Her breath coming out in short panicked pants.

"Let me go" I growled at Sam "I swear" I warned him, my lip pulled over my teeth. But all he did was shake his head. "Let him give you a reason" Sam warmed.

"There was once a time when tainting the Quileute bloodline was a crime punishable by death" he gripped her jaw with his bony fingers and yanked it upwards. "Maybe we could have the best of both worlds" he laughed. "It's clear neither of you want this."

"Get your hands off her" I snarled menacingly at him, my form shaking dangerously.

"Tsk tsk tsk" he clicked his tongue, "this is what you teach your warriors? Disrespect?" he addressed Sam. "You'd disrespect me for this girl tainted by a cold one? An elder?" he pushed his nails into her skin making her whimper.

Sam's hold on me tightened the more I pulled away. "You're dead" I looked him right in the eye as I told him.

"Timothy" Billy finally piped up. "Let her go, this instance. You have over stepped your bounds. You are excused."

"He's right though," Stone spoke over Billy. "Don't banish him, that'd be a real shame" he stated. "Forbid this imprint. It's clearly abnormal, an abomination." He scorned "End it before it's too late."

"The fuck you will!" I growled at stone ripping myself away from Sam only to be grabbed around the waist by Jared. "Calm down" Jared spoke. "Back the fuck off" I snarled at him, trying to twist my way out of his grip. "Let Sam handle this" he told me.

"You are not above the spirts" Sam stepped in front of me and spoke in his alpha tone. "An imprint is preordained by the highest power. You can't do that" his voice even.

"You are right Sam." Billy reassured, "Elder Stone and Jackson are excused from their duties tonight" he barked at the men in question "You are to leave this meeting immediately" he ordered.

But nothing was ever that fucking easy in my world "this is absurd, Billy" but Jackson was cut off.

"Chief" Billy shouted "I am chief of this tribe and I am your leader, you will do as I say. And I say you are excused."

"You white bitch" Jacksons hand connected with Bella's cheek, the resounding smack kick started several motions.

There were gasps from numerous people around the room. Billy's voice rang in my ear. Sam's growl shook the ground I stood on. Jared's arms slipped from my body. And before I knew it, I had an elder pinned against a brick wall by his fucking throat.

Sam and Jared were instantly at my side, pulling at me. But I couldn't stop it. There was a manic chaos erupting around the room but it had all faded into white noise for me. My wolf was in total control. He had to die. He was going to die. I snarled in his face. The blood drained down his body. His eyes bulged in his head. My grip only tightened.

"Paul" my alpha spoke, "I order you to stop. Put him down" his hand wrapped around my wrist.

I tightened my hold. The wolf too far gone to let us submit. My grip didn't waver and I was okay with that. I was okay with killing this filth. He wasn't getting away with the shit he pulled tonight. He had questioned my loyalty to Bella. Insulted her position as my mate, disregarded the power she held over me. The love I had for her. She was my future, even without this tribe, without my wolf, she was my life. I would die for her, kill for her and now he knew. There was no force on this earth that could make me stop.

"Paul" her sweet voice echoed in my ears cutting off my thoughts, I froze. "It's okay" she whispered, her hand lay softly between my shoulder blades. And every nerve ending in my body exploded with fire. We hadn't touched since that night, I had taken too much from her and she had always kept me at arm's length. But here she was soothing my tense muscles saving this fucker's worthless life.

Sam stepped back, allowing Bella to take his place. "You can let him go now" she whispered softly, calmly. My eyes stayed on the bastard in my grip; I could feel the life slipping away from him under my palm, my wolf growled in exhilaration.

Her soft hand skimmed the length of my arm, inevitably relaxing all the muscles. "For me?" she asked as she wrapped her pale hand around my wrist. Unlike Sam's forceful grip, hers was soothing, gentle, persuasive. For me, she had asked. This was for her? My brows pulled in confusion.

"Look at me" she ordered. Her eyes were soft and pleading, her teeth pulled at her lip and her nose pink from the cold night air. "For me?" she asked again. And instantly, my grip loosened in favour of her, he clattered to the ground clutching at his throat, weeping like a fucking baby.

I cradled her face between my hands, inspecting the damaged he had done to her. But there was no redness, no swelling, not even a faint mark to see. "I'm fine" she pushed my hands away from her, the message loud and clear.

"Escort them to the chambers and call Sue." Billy ordered the other wolves. I watched as Embry and Quil dragged the elders from my murderous sight. "Get out, cool down and be back in an hour" Billy called to the rest of the meeting, throwing powder into the fire to put it out.

"You heard him" Sam's voice boomed through the room and everyone hurried out into the cold spring night.

My body was trembling for the effects of adrenaline. I couldn't shake the feeling of being on edge. My hands shook even as clenched fists. My legs quivered with each step I took towards the cool crisp air. Outside the grass was wet, the trees only a dark silhouette against the moon light skies. There were several trucks and cars parked outside the tribal centre. Looking around I could see all the wolves comforting their imprints. But mine was nowhere in sight.

Stepping down the stairs, following her scent around the side of the building, I found her. One hand braced against the wall and the other resting on her stomach, her breath coming out in white puffs of smoke in the cold air.

"Bella?" her breath hitched as I called her name.

Turning around to face me, she stumbled slightly on the uneven gravel. "I…" she trailed off, looking past me thoughtfully. "I never meant for that to happen." her eyes finally meeting mine. She had a look about her that said she finally understood, almost an aura of enlightenment.

Stepping closer to her, I chocked out, "Didn't think you did," the adrenaline still hadn't worked itself out my blood. I needed a good earth pounding run but I couldn't bring myself to leave her. Not after the time we had spent apart. She was not two feet from me, so close I could almost taste her. But she might as well have been a fucking world apart and that would've been closer.

"You said it'd be easy" she accused me, her nostrils flaring with anger.

"It was fucking meant to be" I growled. "Crimes against the imprint" I stalked closer to her, my wolf's hackles still raised from the meeting. "I spelt it out for you. All you had to do was say the damn words" clearly she hadn't listened to a fucking word of the conversation. I only waited a breath before apologising "I'm still edgy" I clarified.

"I didn't think it was gonna be this formal" she threw her hands up in defeat.

"What, you thought we were going 'round Billy's for tea and biscuits?" I tried to control my tone, "This shit is serious, Bella." but obviously failed miserably.

"I know that now," she said in a defeated sigh, rubbing her cheek. "Won't be making that mistake again." She laughed, I wanted to rip the fucker's throat out and here she was cracking jokes.

"That was not your fault," I told her firmly. "He had no right and he knew the consequence."

She raised one of her perfect little eyebrows suspiciously, "pretty sure he wasn't betting on dying tonight."

I tried another step closer, "No he wasn't" I supposed. He had underestimated my devotion to her over this tribe. But something told me he would never make that same mistake again.

She didn't say anything after that and I was grateful. I tried to control the tremors that jolted through my body. The sparks were now considerably less intense but they were still there. The urge to kill someone still tingled at the base of my skull. The wolf still prowling around his cage and his hackles were still raised. But the more time I spent admiring Bella's delicate features, her silky curls and breathing in that edible scent, the more it soothed the raging beast inside. Something deep inside spurred me to take those curls into my fist, kiss her lips swollen and breathe in her scent so fiercely that it would forever be imbedded into my memory. I watched as she stubbed the caps of her conversers into the gravel absently, grumbling under her breath so low that even I couldn't hear.

I felt like an age had gone by before she stopped regarded the little space between us menacingly. With a little huff, she awkwardly shuffled the rest of the distance between us. I tried to contain the shit eating grin fighting itself onto my face but it was harder than you'd think. After weeks of being pushed away and being the only one who ever initiated contact, it was a great victory to finally see her making the first move. Her hand twitched at her side several times before she lifted her cold finger to poke at my stomach. My body stood to attention, literally. She oddly started tapping at my abs but I held back the urge to ask her what the fuck she was doing, too afraid she would retract her finger to never touch me again. Instead I focused on my breathing, she had messed that simple task up by tapping insentiently on my gut. I held back the moan threatening to slip passed my clenched teeth when she dragged her hand down towards my side to stick her thumb into my oblique. And then she did it again. I contained the urge to violently grip her hips and pull her hard against my front.

"Paul" she whispered my name softly pulling me out of my trance.

"Hmmm" I groaned, lifting my hand hesitantly to run my fingers through the curls framing her face. Too scared to snap her out of this fucking stroke she was having.

She stopped her ministrations anyway, "is it true?" she asked lowly, lifting her head upwards. Her forehead mangled with worry lines and her lips pulled down in a frown; over what? I wasn't quite sure.

"Is what true?" I asked her softly continuing my caresses.

She stepped in closer to me; I could feel her heart beating strongly in her chest, the beats perfectly in sync with mine. My nose sniffed furiously at her hair like a drug addict, "Are we an abomination?" she whimpered.

My hand immediately stilled in her hair, my nose stopped sniffing, "of course not" I told her resolutely, pulling back to look her in the eyes.

She snuffled, "but he said we wer-."

"He was wrong" I growled "there haven't been enough imprints to make that sort of judgment" I finished more softly than I had started. "Besides, this hasn't been easy," I pulled on her hair slightly "I haven't made this easy," I corrected myself "but we are not an abomination."

"But they were gonna kill you because of us" she stressed.

I snorted at her statement. There was one thing fundamentally wrong with that sentence. I would have liked to see them fucking lift a finger to me. "If it was up to those two, we'd all be fucking dead" I growled. "There was barely a Quileute tribe left when they made that bullshit custom. Some of the council still live in the old ways. In traditions that are dead" I chanced a looked down at her, hoping she was taking this in. "They know nothing about being in a pack, ruling in a time where there's a pack, it's all new to them. They have no control over us. They never will. This is all legend and myth from books some shaman wrote on a peace pipe" I spoke lightly. "Whatever they think they know" I turned her to look at me, "it's wrong."

"He was going to kill you!" she pressed at me like I was the one missing the fucking point.

I tried to contain the urge to growl at her "For what?" I asked her, had she not been listening to me. "For having an imprint?" I implored as she nodded her head. "Have you not listened to a word I just said" I snapped at her "the council have no leg to stand on when it comes to this pack, when it comes to imprinting." She just stared cautiously at me. I stopped to think how to say this without sounding like a total douche, but every scenario I ran in my head all ended up the same. I looked her in the eyes as I spoke, to show her I wasn't messing around. "You are mine and I'd do anything for you," I rumbled lowly as I recalled what had happened tonight "I'd die for you, leave this fucking life behind." I sighed knowing this was all about to go to shit, "because I want to be with you. All you have to do is ask. All you ever have to do is ask."

She scoffed at me "you've never wanted anything to do with me" she sputtered, but something deep inside her seeped on her face. I had been flat out K.O'd the first time I saw it, the longing, the want, almost like a need. It did strange things to me knowing she wanted this but she wasn't letting herself have it. It made me want to rip my hair out and give her the world in the same instance. It was fucking weird, it was like I was in a constant battle with myself. And I was, at the start. I used to be the untameable beast but in one moment she had changed me into something I didn't recognise; and since then I had fought tooth and nail to keep a piece of me that I knew, the bachelor lifestyle. But by fighting it, I was losing the one person I loved. And now I didn't know how to fix it.

"Bella" I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. I didn't want to do this again. I never wanted to do this again. It was why we were fucking standing here in the first place. "I know you don't believe me" I whispered "I know you need this and I'm giving it to you, just like you asked" I looked right at her "and maybe you'll never forgive me for the shit I did to you… But I'm trying, for you. And if this isn't enough, if there's nothing that'll be enough. Then maybe…" I trailed off, not wanting to say the words. I knew what I did hurt her, that maybe she'd never fully heal for it. But I couldn't live with this anymore; it was always one step forward six steps back. The tables were flipped now; she was the one hurting me, the one fighting the need she had. But deep inside, she was only hurting herself. It was what I did and look where that shit had landed me; outside the tribal centre with a messed up imprint? What I had done was wrong on too many levels to fix in a fleeting moment, I knew that. But all my efforts were starting to look like they were in vain. I had begged for her forgiveness for months now, apologised over and over again, gave her the space she wanted but still nothing; all because I tried to fuck my frustrations away, because I was angry at the spirits, at myself. I wanted nothing more than to make her happy, have her trust me for the first time but the more time I spent pleading with her the more she was distancing herself from me. I was hurting her by being around. I could see it in her eyes, the way she looked at me with pain, the hurt in her soul was blindingly obvious. I thought time would heal this wound I had inflicted but now I wasn't so sure. I was killing her slowly and I hated myself for it.

"Maybe what Paul?" her voice shook as she spoke.

"You just have to say the words" I urged her softly.

"What fucking words!" she shouted at me "You hurt me Paul and you've got to pay for it."

"And I am, Bella" I whispered "I pay for it every day; when I can't see you, talk to you. When you push me away, ignore my fucking existence. I pay for it when I see what I did to you, know that I can't ever make it right" I yelled "I'll pay for it some more with this punishment. But we can't ever be normal this way. I own my mistakes, I'm taking all the punishments, and I'm paying my dues." I wanted to rip my fucking hair out. "But it'll never be enough, right?"

She looked at me stunned mouth wide open.

I heard him before he spoke "It's time," Sam called.

"I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do" I turned to walk away. "If that means walking away to stop you from hurting, then that's what I'll do. Because I want the world for you, I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me." I turned my head to watch her out of the corner of my eye. "You'll never be happy with me like this." the words left a sour taste in my mouth. I was hoping that to her it didn't feel like I was ordering her or trying to tell her how to feel, forcing her hand in this messed up situation. I didn't want that for her. I had made my bed and now I was lying in it. But I was trying to do right by her and she just couldn't see that. I was sorting my shit out but that wasn't enough. I was dying little by little every day trying to fix us. But she wasn't ready and I didn't know if she'd ever be ready to forgive me.

This… Bella and I, we were poisonous together. I was fuelling her hurt which is why she would never ask for what she wanted, what we both wanted. She had lost herself, her identity; she needed to figure it out for herself, just as I had done. But right now she wasn't ready. Could I stay and help her? Or would it be best to leave her alone? The ball was in her court, all she had to do was make her play.

Seth rolled Billy out just as I made to kneel. "I would like to apologise to Bella and Paul for the less than honourable behaviour displayed here tonight and both Elders will be duly punished for their indiscretions" he started. "Please accept my sincerest apologies," he bowed his head in shame. "Elder Atera will announce the punishments" he nominated old Quil with a defeated sigh.

"By the decree of the council, Jacob Ephraim Black, you are handed a restorative sentence. You will immediately embark on a journey to repair the damage you have inflicted on communal relationships; with your pack and Isabella Swan. You must attentively consider all forms of healing to regain your dignity and trust amongst those affected by your behaviour. Do you accept this punishment?" he directly addressed Jacob. "Are you satisfied with this ruling Samuel?" he asked a moment later.

"Yes" Sam's voice echoed through the hall.

"Paul lahote" old Quil started "your decree is one with reparative principles. You will make amends through an apology, asking forgiveness and restitution. This was not a simple justice to serve, this council and none before us have been required to resolve such a matter. Your actions were not simply an error but repeated misguided judgments. However, your crimes call for corrective intervention. As the first, your circumstance will be archived in a bid to define boundaries within an imprinting." Just my fucking luck. "Do you understand, Paul?" I only nodded slowly in answer. Ironically, the sentence I had been handed was exactly the punishment I had endured for the last two months. All that was required of me by the council was to repeat what I had been doing every other time. "Do you object to this punishment, Bella?" he asked her softly.

She cleared her throat before squeaking out, "no."

"Very well then, all parties are welcome to discuss these rulings with the chief at any time. If there are no more issues, you are all free to leave." Quil Sr. spoke with conviction. "It's been a tough night" he tacked on the end.

The council members retreated back to their chambers undoubtedly to "punish" the fuckers cowering away in the back. A slap on the wrist and a warning at the most, it was only fuelling my anger to know just how lightly they had gotten off.

"Paul" Sam called after me as I rose from the ground, "a word."

I soundlessly followed him outside into the clearing, all the while keeping track of Bella who was currently being enveloped in a crushing embrace by Emily. Sam came to a stop around the side of my truck, for whose benefit we'll never fucking know. The clearing was filled to the brim with supernatural beings his attempt at privacy was quite laughable. Never the less, I looked at Sam as he ran his hand violently through his hair. "What?" I asked curiously.

"What are you gonna do about this?" he rumbled at me.

"Apologise again Sam." It was a fucking no brainer.

"No, not that!" he growled lowly "about earlier. Are you seriously considering leaving her?"

"I'm not gonna leave her!" I countered. "She'll need to send me away. I want her to make the decision."

"What the fuck happened to being patient?" he enquired.

"I don't have any more patience to give Sam. It's been two months already, even Em wasn't this mad at you" I pointed through the window at our imprints.

"Watch it" he growled.

"Sorry," I raised my hands in surrender. "Bella's stubborn and she's hurt. She's never gonna let this go. How many times do I have to say sorry, beg her to forgive me, ask her what I can do to make it right, huh?" it was pretty much a non-answer question.

"You keep trying until she's over it" he poked my chest aggressively.

"Have you met my imprint?" I deflected his finger "you know she's not getting over this, ever" I growled in frustration.

"Then try harder" he spat at me, "I'll be damned if one of my wolves turns his back on his imprint because of his own bloody mistakes."

"What do you want me to do, Sam? Don't you think I've tried everything I can think of?" Emily's voice caught Sam's attention as she called his name. "I'm doing everything she wants me to. I'll follow through on this ruling but I bet my left nut, this doesn't change a fucking thing" I turned towards the forest that run looking ever more appealing, I'd had enough for one day.

Sam's hand clamped down on my shoulder, "she feels the imprint" he said it with conviction.

"I know she does" I sighed dejectedly. "She's fighting her feelings because she thinks it's the right thing to do. She thinks it's the only way to punish me."

"But she's only punishing herself" he thought out loud.

"Exactly, but try explaining that to her without sounding like your trying to trivialise my fuck ups" I snorted at him. This was the core of my problems, probably the main reason she was incapable of forgiving me. "I need her to be happy" I spoke sincerely, "but that's not an option if things stay the way they are. Something's got to give and I'd rather it was me than her." I groaned.

"She listens to Em" Sam started "maybe she can help?"

"Not a fucking chance" I growled "I'm the one who fucked up, this is my responsibility."

"She's my pack and she needs guidance. I stood back and let you have free rein once Paul, that was my mistake. But I'm not about to let you leave her because you don't want my help. Bring her over my way, lunch tomorrow" he ordered me before jogging away. I tracked his steps towards Bella and Em, I listened as he told her I wanted to talk before she left. What!?

I listen as she walked closer to be. "Erm…Sam said you wanted to talk" she spoke from behind me nervously.

No… "Yeah" I said instead. "Are you busy tomorrow?" I asked turning around to see her fidgeting awkwardly with the ends of her sleeve.

"Why?" she asked wide eyed.

"Wondered if you wanted to come over Sam's for lunch tomorrow. He said Em really misses you" if Sam was gonna push me under the bus, he was fucking coming down with me.

"Oh" was she expecting something else. "Yeah, its Saturday tomorrow," as a way of explanation.

"Right well…" I trailed off walking away, "I'll let him know." I still needed that fucking run.

Don't be too mad at me please. I promise this is the last angst-y chapter for a little while. Please review.