A/N: You guys are awesome, just sayin'. We return to Ciel's point of view for this chapter. On to chapter twenty one!
Warnings: None for this chapter
It was now early December. In the two months since her visit, we hadn't heard one word from Emmalina. Sebastian theorized that his father had convinced her to just move on. He probably figures that his son will eventually come crawling back, begging for forgiveness. If that is the case, then he doesn't know his son very well.
Money had been more than just tight as of late. Somehow, Sebastian managed to keep the gas on. That was one thing we couldn't do without, this winter was proving to be one of the coldest that I had ever experienced. The electricity, however, had been out for almost two weeks now. It was a miracle that we were able to keep it going as long as we were.
I absolutely hated that this was all my fault. Every time I insisted that Sebastian stop this nonsense and just turn me in, he made his refusal quite clear. (and stern) Secretly, I was glad that he was so adamant about keeping me by his side. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if I had to live with a foster family. That wasn't to say that I didn't feel guilty about causing so much trouble. If I hadn't come along, Sebastian would be living quite comfortably and wouldn't be buried in debt.
My doctor appointments didn't help the situation at all. I had my casts removed about five weeks ago, which cost Sebastian a hefty price. Then there was my physical therapy sessions. Altogether, it added up to more than we could afford. We had to cut back on a good number of necessities, the most important of which was food. I suppose we were still quite lucky, as we still had food. Just not much of it.
I tried to convince Sebastian that I could recover on my own, without physical therapy. But, in pure Sebastian form, he demanded that I go. So, I did. It was miserable, as to be expected. It seemed as though everyone else was recovering much more quickly than I was. It took me almost a whole week to just find the strength to stand, whereas it had taken most of the class only a few days. I completed the class about two weeks ago, though I was still not able to walk comfortably. About a week later, I was finally beginning to feel a bit like my old self again. Before long, I could get around just fine without much pain at all. Although, now that it was winter, I felt some minor aches in my fibula every now and again, but my doctor said that was normal in moist weather.
Now, it is rounding the end of six 'o clock on a Saturday evening. Sebastian went out to run his Sunday errands early, after hearing that there would be a snow storm tomorrow afternoon. As it would happen, however, the weather man was a day too late in his forecast. It was snowing so heavily outside that I wondered, for a moment, if I was dreaming of a white void, completely vacant of all life and substance.
Sebastian had left me a battery powered radio, so that I could listen to music while he was at work. Mostly, I just used it to follow the Oracle investigation, which hadn't gotten too much farther than it had a couple months ago, as I expected. This sad little radio was our only connection to the outside world. I had been listening to it for hours, just cringing every time the traffic report told of an accident. Sebastian wasn't the most careful driver in London, and it was very possible that he might have gotten into an accident. He had been gone for most of the day. Since our phone had been shut off almost a month ago, there really was no way for him to call.
So, I sat there, in the front window sill, eagerly awaiting Sebastian's safe return. Only time would tell if I would get my wish. I was shivering violently, even though I was snuggled tightly into Sebastian's bedsheets. The heat was on, although it may as well have not been. In an effort to save money, I kept it ridiculously low when Sebastian was gone. When he was home, he lit a fire. I was a bit too terrified of untended fire to have one going when he wasn't home. So, I usually turned the heat on low and sat in front of the heat vent.
I was far too edgy to leave the window right now, though. I was sure I would see his black Nissan, even through the thick snow. But an hour had passed and still, he hadn't returned. Although I didn't want to admit it, I was terrified. What if he didn't come home? What if I never saw him again?
I never expected that Sebastian would come to mean anything to me, but he had. These last couple months, though tragic, were the best I've had in years. For the first time since my parent's deaths, I felt happy to be alive.
As I gazed out into the wicked snow storm, I found myself overwhelmed with gratitude for my raven haired guardian. If not for him, I would be out there right now. In the weakened state I had been in, I most certainly wouldn't have survived this winter. Though I had always considered burning to death to be the most terrifying way to die, I can't imagine that it would be any more pleasant freezing to death. In fact, it would likely take much longer.
Another hour passed, bringing the short hand on the walnut clock to rest on eight. The sun was gone now, making the scene outside even more surreal and sending my heart racing. What began as worry was developing into panic. Where the bloody hell was he?
I perked up when, fifteen minutes later, I saw a blur of black pull into the driveway, surrounded by thick, heavy snowfall. I rushed to the door and forced my boots over my frozen feet, flinching a bit when I pushed a little too hard on my recovering leg. I threw on my coat, not bothering with the rest of the winter gear Sebastian had insisted on purchasing for me.
With gusto, I ran out to meet him, just thankful that he made it home alive. He was groping around the backseat, trying to fit as many grocery bags as he could in his arms. I went around to the other side and picked up a few myself. He let out a barely audible gasp of surprise. It is quite queer how gently falling snow, when in abundance, can muffle any surrounding sounds.
"What are you doing out here without your earmuffs and your mittens?" he screamed, so that I could hear him, "You'll catch your death out here dressed like that?" The center of his face, from his ears to his nose, were nearly as red as his eyes.
"Then let's hurry inside!" I shouted, taking the few bags I could carry and rushing up the front steps, almost slipping on ice in the process.
Once we were inside, we began to pack the groceries away. There was one bag that Sebastian was taking extra care to keep out of my reach. I shook some of the snow off of my head, the rest of which had already melted into my hair, leaving me damp and cold.
"What took you so long, you barely got anything?" I asked, eying the rather depressing fodder.
"Well, driving in this weather is not entirely pleasant. Besides, it's the holiday season now. The market is very busy this time of year," he answered cheerfully. It was beyond me how he could be so happy after spending his entire Saturday standing in line at the market and paying bills.
"What's in that bag?" I asked, pointing at the bag he had placed mysteriously high up on our useless refrigerator.
"Nothing," he hummed. I was quite irritated by his sudden secrecy. Still, it wasn't worth the drama of trying to force it out of him. So, I let it go. It was his money after all, he was free to spend it frivolously if he wanted to.
We retired to the living room, where Sebastian got to work lighting a delightfully warm fire. I buried myself under the blanket and curled up in front of the fireplace. I expected Sebastian to sit down beside me, like he usually did. Instead, he giggled (presumably because I probably looked something like a tiny blue monster, bundled up in the blanket) and patted my head.
"What do you say to a cup of hot chocolate?" he asked, with a wide grin.
"I say; that sounds nice," I said, poking my head out from under the blanket to smile at him. He rushed off to the kitchen without a word.
"So, when do you suppose we'll get our power back?" I asked, hopefully, through the bar connecting the two rooms. I knew we couldn't afford it, but I really wished we could. They barely mentioned the Oracles on that pathetic little radio, surely the BBC would have more to say about the case. Besides, I missed electricity. Living by candlelight was slightly horrifying.
"I'm not sure. No time soon, that much I can be certain," he answered, as he prepared the steaming beverage. "I still have to pay off your hospital bill, the physical therapy bill, my loans, and my car. We won't be getting our power back for quite a while if this keeps up."
"What if I got a job?" I asked, mostly out of desperation and guilt. I heard his laughter echoing through the kitchen.
"I'm fairly certain child labor laws would prevent you from doing any such thing," he chuckled. I scoffed. Honestly, could he take nothing seriously?
"You know what I mean! Something small and menial, like dog walking or a paper route," I groaned irritably.
"It wouldn't be worth your time. Something small like that would hardly be enough to make a difference in our budget," he sighed, walking back into the living room holding two steaming thermos cups. This time, he did kneel down and take a seat beside me, carefully handing me one of the cups. I set it down on the floor and unraveled myself from my linen prison, then I scooted a bit closer to Sebastian and covered our legs with the wrinkled blanket. He glanced down at me, a beautiful shimmer in his ruby eyes that I couldn't quite identify.
"You've grown rather fond of me, haven't you?" he asked, softly. I couldn't stop myself from smiling. It felt so strange to smile. I was certain that I would never know the feeling again after my parents were taken from me. But I had been smiling so much these days.
"I suppose you're not as insufferable as I initially thought," I said with a chuckle. I couldn't really tell if Sebastian's expression was one of extreme happiness or immense sadness. He was smiling, but his eyes seemed sorrowful. "Are you alright?" I practically whispered, despite myself.
"Yes. Better than I ever have been," he said quietly, still smiling like a maniac.
"Why? What in the world do you have to be so happy about?" I asked unenthusiastically. I regretted the question immediately. The last thing Sebastian needed was for me to bring him down from his (questionable) high. Still, he just kept smiling.
"I have you," he sighed, stroking my hair gently and giving me a chaste kiss on the forehead. I had long since gotten used to these displays of affection from Sebastian. At first, they were quite difficult to adjust to. I never really liked being touched by anyone, Sebastian included. I'm not sure when I grew to enjoy feeling him so close to me. All I knew, was that I did.
He had also gotten into the habit of using that cheesy little one-liner whenever he had the opportunity. It was sweet and, obviously, very heartfelt, if his glassy eyes were anything to go by. But I still had no idea what he even meant by it. Clearly, it meant that I make him happy, I knew that. However, I couldn't help but wonder exactly why it is that I make him so blissful. I had been suspicious about his feelings for me ever since Emmalina's visit.
"You always say that. What the bloody hell does it even mean?" I asked, annoyed, taking a sip of my hot chocolate.
"It means, without you in it, my life is empty," he muttered, scooting closer to me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I didn't shy away from his touch, I couldn't. I was too intent on listening to his voice. "You ground me in ways no one else ever has, Ciel."
The thermos in my hands suddenly felt about fifty degrees warmer, as my body temperature began to rise. I wasn't exactly sure why Sebastian's words seemed to make my heart gallop wildly within my chest.
Without warning, Sebastian abruptly stood and dashed into the kitchen. I tried to peek over the bar to see what he was up to, only to discover that I was too low (and it was too dark) to see anything. I heard a bag rustling and plastic snapping.
A moment later, Sebastian was back in the living room, carrying a small chocolate cake, with a few candles blazing atop it. That was the big secret? A cake? I gave him a skeptical glare as he set it down at my feet. As if he could read my mind, he said;
"Don't tell me you forgot about your birthday?" My birthday? It couldn't be. . . And once again, I felt my heart begin to pound restlessly. Not only did I dislike celebrating my birthday. . . I had a profound fear of it. The 14th of December was the day that my life was destroyed. Fate delivered me to this world on that day, and, in a cruel display of power, it ended my life on that day as well. I didn't have much of a reason to fear it before I met Sebastian, as I had nothing left to lose. But now that I have found some semblance of happiness, I do stand to lose something.
"Is it my birthday? It must have slipped my mind," I said sheepishly. I was afraid. . . no, I was terrified that this day would bring with it a horrific tragedy.
"Well, make a wish," Sebastian chirped. I knew what I should have wished for, it was the very thing that I had wanted for years. But Somehow, I had no desire to wish for vengeance. Instead, I found myself wishing only for Sebastian, begging the powers that be to just let me stay by his side for as long as I could. I took a deep breath and blew out the candles.
Sebastian clapped merrily and removed the spent candles, then he got to work cutting the cake. It was the first sweet dish I had eaten in quite a while. I tried my hardest to forget my fears and savor it, but soon found that, as long as I was surrounded by fire, I could not push my worries to the back of my mind.
After we finished, Sebastian took the plates and the remainder of the cake back to the kitchen. I sipped some more of my hot chocolate (which was rather cold by now) to try and calm myself. I knew it would only ruin the night if I let my fears take control of me. It would be midnight soon, and the day would be over. Thank goodness I actually had forgotten the date, otherwise I would have been in a frenzy while waiting for Sebastian to return home from the market.
Sebastian returned moments later and took his place beside me. Once again, I covered him with the blanket and scooted closer to him. I felt a sudden need to be closer, much closer. It was such a foreign desire, but it felt remarkably good. I rested my head on his side, in response to which, he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer still, with a contented sigh.
A/N: Well that's about it for this chapter. For any European readers, I am terribly sorry about the very American spelling going on in this story that is set in Europe. . . Just note, I am aware of it. The reason I choose to do it, is because a bulk of the people reading this story are American, as am I. Thus, it seems to make more sense. XD Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you guys enjoyed it. It was a bit more feel good than most of the other chapters in this story (finally). Please review if you have the time!
Poll: Remember that poll a few chapters back? Well, as stated previously, there was a winner. As it happens, it seems most of you guys are on the same page I am, in that you don't really care if the story stays T rated or gets steamier. Out of those two options though, it seems that "explicit and raunchy" has won. The next chapter will see that scene, as originally planned. XD
Title: While occasionally aggressive, more often than not, kittens are quite lovable and affectionate. They, like most young animals, rely a great deal on others for care and sustenance.