Part 2: Can't Let You Go
Chapter 20

Meredith pulled up to her house in the light rain and was surprised to see Derek sitting on the porch, his shoes the only thing uncovered by the roof. She turned off her car and walked over to him, "What are you doing?" she asked almost amused.

"What are you doing?" he asked, sounding serious.

"I'm going inside because my shift is over," she said, still smiling.

Derek looked up at, "No, really, what are you doing?"

Meredith looked at him confused and then sat down next to him, "What are you talking about?"

"I know I wasn't imagining that last night. You were there," he said, looking straight ahead. "But then you just ran away. You are always running away."

"Excuse me? If I remember correctly, you left Seattle."

Derek turned and looked at her, "Because you were gone. I left because everything reminded me of you. I just woke up one morning and you were gone. I didn't even have a chance to stop you. I couldn't just stay here, having every mistake I've ever made with you shoved in my face over and over again."

Meredith was surprised by his calm tone as he spoke the words. The words themselves scared her out of her mind, but she refused to show it. Instead she just stood up and walked out from under the porch and into the rain. "What are you doing?" Derek asked again.

"For a brain surgeon, you have a very limited vocabulary," she said as she paced around her yard, seeming as though she hadn't heard a single thing he said.

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

"Meredith, stop it," he said. "Seriously, stop it." The seriousness in his voice made her pause. She just stood there looking at him as the rain fell down on her. "You are going to marry him, aren't you?"

"Do you think you have any right to ask me that? I do believe there is another Mrs. Shepherd roaming around somewhere," Meredith responded.

"I know I don't have a right to ask you that. I don't have a right to do a lot of things, but that rarely stops me," he said as he stood up.

"It has ever since you got here."

"Are you complaining?" he asked as he walked out from under the porch.

"No," she responded as she placed her hands in her jacket's pockets and backed away from him.

Tied up in ancient history
I didn't believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

"I think you are," he said as he continued to get closer. Her retreat was basically pointless. He was faster and she was only halfheartedly backing up anyways.

"Derek, seriously stop," she said.

"Meredith," was his only response. It stopped her. She didn't know why or what it was, but there was definitely something about the way he said her name.

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine

Derek took one step closer, closing off most of the space between them. "Meredith," he said again, expecting a response.

She didn't have anything to offer him. Nothing. All she could do was look at him. She felt him take her hand, but she didn't stop him. She could feel his breath on her skin and it was all too familiar to her. After a few seconds, she pulled her hand back, but he wouldn't let her go. "Meredith, don't do this."

She looked up at him confused. Deep down, she knew what he was talking about, but she didn't really want to come to terms with it. Denial and avoidance had always been her specialty after all.

Derek, however, he liked to be a little bit more forward than her. He was tired of waiting and pretending. She looked down for a second at their intertwined hands, but when she looked back up again, he caught her lips in his own.

Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine

The rain fell down their faces, but they didn't notice. Despite the fact that they had kissed in New York, it felt like they hadn't been in this position forever. Derek wrapped his arms around her and brought her closer, but she started to pull back. "Derek, I-"

"Meredith," he said again looking her in the eyes. In her mind she cursed his voice and his stupid eyes. She hated what they did to her. Okay, honestly, she didn't hate it. She just didn't want to admit to the fact that she loved it. "Just trust me."

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

In all honesty, she had no reason to trust him. None whatsoever. He hadn't given her any reason to. All he did was take her face in his hands and lead her back to his lips, knowing that that was where she belonged.

As their kiss intensified, Derek picked her up and she obliged, wrapping her legs around him. He never took his lips away from hers and she forgot to try and stop him. She was too consumed with the feelings he was sending through her body.

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

Derek led her out of the rain and into the house. He took the now familiar steps upstairs. He made a point to go right. He wouldn't sleep with another man's fiancé in his own bed. But he had no problem doing it in her bed. He chuckled a little at his own twisted thinking as he fumbled with the doorknob.

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

As Derek walked into the room, Meredith got down on her own feet and pushed him against the closed door as she began to unbutton his shirt. He ran his fingers through her hair as he kissed his way down his neck, amused at the moans escaping from her mouth.

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Meredith pulled him out of his unbuttoned shirt and he pulled her own off. They stumbled over to the bed and Meredith fell back on to it with Derek on top of her. Derek stopped and pulled away from her. She looked at him confused for a minute. He smiled down at her, "I've missed you."

Meredith smiled and giggled a little, "You have no idea," she said as she pulled his face back down to her.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

They worked each other out of their pants, forgetting everything else in the world. That was one thing that they were always able to do for each other. They could make every bad thing, big or small, and make it disappear. It didn't even matter that they both knew it wouldn't last forever. All that mattered was that they were together. Right now. They were happy. And in love.

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine


I got a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine

Ahh... sweet adultery!
Not.

Well, not sweet for Ryan and McKenzie... For Meredith and Derek? I'd say it was pretty sweet. By the way, the song was Brighter than Sunshine by Aqualung.