Quiet reigned through the ship as the gray light slowly became a dull red.
Sophia stared listlessly out at the sea that was as calm as a small pond.
Nothing could be seen but water, and while it made most of the passengers
marvel, it only filled her with a cold dread. She knew what would happen,
but so far none of her warnings had been heeded, not that there was much
detail she could give. The last thing she wanted was to be locked up in
her room, or the brig, which is what First Mate Murdoch had threatened only
last night.
Tears filled her eyes as she looked out on the sunrise, it stained the sky a brilliant red, as bright a crimson as blood. She wondered if this was the sign she had been waiting for. It had been four days since her vision and Alex's departure. They were four long days, perhaps the longest days of her life. Especially since sleep was an elusive thing when such a weight lay on her shoulders. Every morning she had survived to, she sat on the first class deck, huddled under a blanket watching the sunrise chasing away the darkness. Every night as she ascended the stairs she would glance at the clock, with it's graceful carving swirling around the curve of the time piece with dread, and when it's hands passed the time of 12:15 she breathed a breath of relief. That is until she realized that it was just one more day that she would have to get through before the time finally ran out, after all only one vision had not come true.
Gold touched the red as the sun began to peek over the watery horizon; it was a ray of hope that touched her heart as an idea occurred to her. The thought of her first vision with Alex, had reminded her that Alex had been on the ship in her last vision. Perhaps she had found a way to change the disaster she had seen. Perhaps something as simple as Alex departing Titanic had changed the course of events.
While a doubt lingered in her mind, she was too tired to heed it; instead she let the relief and joy fill her. As the tension left her body, the weariness of her sleepless nights crept over her and she briefly flirted with the idea of just closing her eyes right there in the deck, but as an elderly lady passed giving her an appraising glance she thought better of it. There were already rumors floating around that no only was she of loose morals, she was crazy as well.
With a sigh she pushed herself to her feet, taking stock of her appearance for the first time in days. Her dress was wrinkled almost beyond redemption, she could feel the disarray of her once carefully groomed hair, and she was sure she was pale. Nights without sleep often left one with dark circles and a sickly pale complexion. It was no wonder people thought her mad. With a sigh she smiled at the crewmember that held the door open for her and made her way to her room.
For the first time since boarding she appreciated the thick plush carpet that was beneath her feet, and the opulence of her surroundings. She reached for the knob of her room and quietly opened the door, she was thankful for the thick rug as she padded across the room as silently as she was able. She could hear Ally's humming in her room and knew she was pulling her mistress's morning clothing from the wardrobe. Sophia glanced around taking in the beauty of her sitting room and for the first time was thankful she had been given the opportunity to see such magnificence on her maiden voyage, it really was a marvel.
She opened her door and looked inside to see Ally laying out a rich purple gown that was somewhere between lavender and plumb. An amethyst necklace and earrings lay on the dressing table, while a matching comb lay next to her hairbrush and comb. Everything was ready for her return to her cabin, just as it had been the day before, and the one before that. Today, however, she would sleep, there was nothing to fret over, and her fears had evaporated in the morning sun.
"Ally." She spoke softly, knowing she would startle the busy maid. " You may stop laying out my clothing, I won't be dressing for breakfast."
"What will you be doing?" Ally asked as she got over her momentary shock.
"Sleeping." Sophia replied, " I find I need some rest."
"That would be good, miss." Ally said with reproach in her voice. " You haven't been taking care of yourself as well as you should. Nor have you been letting me take care of you."
"Forgive me." Sophia chuckled as Ally moved the dress from the bed to the chair that sat before her vanity table. She stood quietly as she felt Ally's nimble fingers deftly unhook her dress. It slid to the floor and she stepped out of it as Ally turned to the closet for one of her nightgowns. Her eyes followed the dust motes in the sunlight that streamed through her window with the interest of the sleep deprived as Ally loosened her laces and removed her corset. She felt the softness of her silk nightgown slip over her head and across her skin. There was nothing more decedent or comforting than the feel of silk, she mused as Ally released the pins in her hair and gently pushed her toward the bed.
"Now miss, I'll get you a nice cup of tea, and you'll have a nice little nap." Ally told Sophia while she pulled the covers to Sophia's chin.
"Don't worry about the tea, just wake me at noon, and have a bath drawn." Sophia murmured groggily.
"Yes miss." Ally replied as she watched Sophia's eyes droop shut and finally close. The dark circles under her eyes had been worse than Sophia had imagined and it had worried Ally at her mistress's fervent mission, though no one believed a word Sophia spoke about her vision. Instead it had only spread rumors of her addiction to laudanum, which no one really knew the truth about. Jarrod certainly didn't know and in his puppy love he had defended her, which no one believed either. After all men were often blinded by the excess of the women they loved, especially one as young as Jarrod. While he was old enough to be a man by societies standards, his boyish good looks and charm often made people underestimate him. I liked and respected the man, but there would be no help for it, there was only one man for Sophia, only one man that could truly deal with the mess she had made her life into.
Ally slipped from the room leaving Sophia to her dreams. Dreams that were vivid and frightening, dreams of dark water, cold night and a large ship breaking in half. She watched as it slipped beneath the waves like a sharp knife into a ripe peach. Her heart was heavy as she watched both for those that had been left on board and the ship itself. It had been a masterpiece gone to waste by the folly of man. Then there was only darkness, the chill faded, and her mind cleared of the distressing dream. Cleared into a dreamless slumber that would give her strength for the trails to come.
It seemed only minutes later that Ally shook her awake, her disturbing dreams forgotten in the calm that had followed. For a moment she toyed with the idea of just sleeping through the day, but she knew she would have to make an appearance. There was a certain decorum she must follow and that did not include sleeping the day away, especially with the rumors that had been circulating. It was time she made the gossip about her less interesting and acted normal.
Groggily she allowed Ally to lead her into the bathroom and sighed with pleasure as the warm water enveloped her easing the minor aches of sleeping. Wiping the last of the sleep from her eyes she settled down to enjoy her bath for as long as it was warm. Unfortunately Ally wouldn't let her lounge around in the bathtub; instead she was dressed, coifed, and perfumed in time to meet Jarrod for lunch.
She entered the room late, she knew lunch had already begun, and heads turned as she passed by. It seemed as though the room fell silent as it always does when you know everyone is looking at you, and not for good reasons. She raise her chin and ignored them, at least Ally had done an incredible job of dressing her. The dress she had chosen was the first she had worn in years that was not a bold jewel color. The dressmaker had certainly known her job when she had suggested the color, and it had been on a whim that she agreed. The gold tipped hairpins and the delicate golden chain with an equally delicate clock at the end had been brilliant, but that was Ally's job and she was good at it. Jarrod's eyes were appreciative as he stood and moved behind the chair opposite of him so he could pull it out for her.
"Thank you." She murmured as she sat with a grace that had been practiced since childhood and had eventually become instinct.
"You look beautiful Sophie." He told her. " You look like you are feeling better, I assume you have decided your dream was nothing more."
"Yes." Sophia replied though his haughty tone irritated her. He sounded as a father might to a child that keeps insisting a bad dream was real. "Lack of sleep and Alex's sudden appearance seemed to have put me on edge."
Jarrod looked sharply at her at the mention of Alex. There was something in her eyes when she spoke of him. Something that seemed to move within them while her face remained passive.
"What exactly was he to you Sophie?" Jarrod asked with nonchalance that Sophia saw right through.
"He was a childhood friend." Sophia replied her eyes narrowing as Jarrod cut his steak with an air of boredom.
"Was he a lover?" Jarrod questioned, a hint of jealousy actually creeping into his voice. Sophia bit back a smile, in some ways Jarrod was still so naïve and young, and her heart ached at the memory that seven years ago she had been just as young and naïve.
"Yes." Sophia replied truthfully, and was surprised at the flash of anger in Jarrod's eyes.
"Did he see you after the Café Parisian?" Jarrod's voice was becoming angry, and the people that the surrounding tables were beginning to look at them.
"What if he did, Jarrod?" Sophia asked, returning his questioning. " I am what I am, Jarrod, and you can't change that. You knew what I was when you got involved with me, and if I remember correctly that was what attracted me to you. There were no strings attached, you loved the idea of no one pushing you for marriage. I will never devote my life to one person, and one person only."
"I'm sorry." Jarrod whispered, looking away, she could sense the hurt under his words, but she couldn't react to it. Instead, she watched him coolly as he speared another bite, and put it into his mouth chewing mechanically as he looked away. Shaking her head she reached into the purse that had dangled at her side and produced an elegant, ivory cigarette holder. The carvings on it were a fanciful sweeping of swirls. Expertly she fitted a cigarette into it from the matching ivory case and lit it. The laudanum from earlier was beginning to wear off and her irritation was becoming hard to control.
"Jarrod, darling." She said, taking control of herself and laying a hand gently on his. "Don't ruin what time we have, enjoy what we have while we have it."
" What do you mean what time we have?" Jarrod questioned, his eyes rising to hers and she felt her heart catch. She knew that look, that sweet trusting look of a man in love. She forced herself not to look away, not to bow under the weight of his emotions. She had handled lovesick boys before.
'But this is no boy.' A voice whispered in her head. 'How do you handle the man that loves you when your heart is still trapped by another?'
"How long can this last Jarrod?" she asked her eyes soft with regret. " We are of two different worlds, though I may move within yours I can never be a part of it."
"But you were a part of it Sophia, at one time." Jarrod responded.
"Yes one at one time I was, but I have made my choices and I can not go back." Sophia replied. " My choices have left the doors shut forever on polite society in the manner of which you speak. You do not think I can waltz back into society, you can not possibly believe that by making our relationship permanent you will erase all that has gone before. You know that you and your family would be ridiculed. Enjoy what we have while we have it until you find some sweet debutant that your parents want you to marry and marry her with all the pomp that is required of you. Now if you will excuse me I must get a breath of fresh air."
Before he could open his mouth, she was walking away trailing a line of cigarette smoke as assuredly as the engines were steaming smoke into the air just outside the room in which he now sat. He ignored the stares of those around him and continued eating his meal. For the past six months he had tried to get beyond the walls she had built up, but it was no use. She was a courtesan, a woman up for the highest price he reminded himself, just as he had for the past few months. At first that is all she had been, a woman that had been his without all the complications of marriage, but that had all changed.
At first he wouldn't have even called her beautiful, so much as intriguing. Her skin was darker than fashion expected; her hair black as the midnight sky and her eyes a vivid contrasting green. Her body was not sylph like instead it curved in all the places she was supposed to. He knew that the women around him were trying to achieve the same curves by binding their waists tightly. They were forcing the hourglass she already had and he had never seen her corset cinched to an uncomfortable degree. Still he doubted she reached the perfect 16 inches most women were looking for. Her while her clothing was of a fashionable cut, all of it was of dark rich colors. Glancing around him he saw the room was a sea of creams and pastels. Even the gold dress she had worn to lunch, while lighter by far than any other she had worn in his presence was a dark rich gold. She was as flashy as the gypsies she claimed heritage from, and as mysterious. At the same time she was intelligent, well read, well versed, and witty. It was an intoxicating combination.
He had desired her from the start, as had nearly ever man in the room, but he had gotten her. He had charmed and flattered her for only a night that had turned into days, and days that had turned into months. Now he couldn't see his life without her, he found the small thing had paled her bigger assets, and her flaws. There was pain under her tough exterior, demons she fought that he couldn't help mostly because she wouldn't let him. There was a place in her he could never reach, though he had tried. He leaned back and closed his eyes as his mind flew back to the day they had left Europe. To the day he had first seen Alexander Conlon.
He knew the man's name well, he remembered him from the past. He had been first introduced to him at Julia Dubois birthday party. Mrs. Vanderbilt- Belmont had hosted it and that had been the only reason he had attended. Julia Dubois had a reputation of thumbing her nose at society and had made herself an outcast. Luckily for her she had a strong friendship with one of the most influential women in New York and her father had been the Mayor. He had only seen her a few times and had ignored her in favor of more genteel company. Still he remembered Alex mostly due to his reputation as a hard as nails businessman that had risen from the streets to grace the parlors of the rich.
In the few minutes he had seen Sophia with Alex he had seen a different person. Gone had been the quiet, cool masks. Replaced by a passion that had brought a rosy color to her cheeks and a light that had never been in her eye before. The glitter in her eyes was one of a woman scorned, but he had no doubt that Alex still had some kind of hold on her. He wondered if this had been the man that had hurt her, for he was no fool and knew that her skittishness with emotion had to have come from somewhere.
"Are you done sir?" The inquiring waiter broke him from his thoughts and he looked down at his half eaten plate for a moment before realizing he was not hungry.
"Yes, thank you." Jarrod replied waiving his hand at the plate in a gesture of dismissal. Quickly he wiped his mouth with the napkin that had been on his lap and laid it on the table before standing and leaving the Veranda. He could see her staring out at the vast and seeming endless stretch of water as he exited outside. She looked so far away, so lost, and he longed to comfort her, but it would be no use. She would not accept comfort from him. Turning the other way he started out for something to take his mind off his musings.
Sophia leaned against the railing, glancing out at the ocean; out of the corner of her eye she had seen Jarrod, and her fervent prayers had been answered. He had started out in the opposite direction. She knew he had come to care for her, but she had no idea he was starting to fall for her. After her last encounter Jarrod had seemed so safe, so familiar. She had slipped into his life with ease and had truly enjoyed his company.
What if she did accept his love? She could never love him as deeply as she had loved Alex, but she did respect and care for him. Her heart pounded as she thought of what she had always shied away from. Marriages had been started with less and she knew that Jarrod wanted forever. Could she promise forever, could she live without the passion and the fire that had been so a part of her relationship with Alex? Could she let Jarrod into her heart knowing that it would be a pale shadow of what she could have had with Alex? She closed her eyes as she remembered the last time she had seen Alex, of the way her heart had leapt at the sight of him, of his smell, and the way his kiss had made her feel.
Was she fated to live the rest of her life alone because she couldn't have Alex, was she to spend night after night in a cold bed pretending emotions she didn't feel? For the first time in years she had felt a steady affection for Jarrod, should she deny herself happiness because of a prediction she had made that hadn't come true?
Turning away from the ocean she started inside, her arms already becoming cold in the afternoon light. She entered the Veranda and walked swiftly past the tables. Just outside she paused; the clock read twenty 'till two and Captain Smith stood with Mr. Ismay, the ship's owner, a slip of paper in his hand.
"There are iceberg warnings coming in from every ship near enough to send a signal." Captain Smith was saying as he handed Mr. Ismay the slip of paper. " Perhaps we should slow the ship down."
"I don't think that will be necessary E.J." Mr. Ismay replied placing the paper in his pocket as if it was of no consequence. "Any icebergs large enough to sink this ship we would see in plenty of time don't you think? I'd rather see us arrive ahead of schedule in New York. Not only is Titanic the most luxurious ship ever to sail, but imagine her as the fastest."
"Forgive me, but my concern is not for the publicity of the White Star lines Mr. Ismay, rather the safety of my ship, it's passengers, and my crew." Captain Smith said stiffly, Mr. Ismay's face spread into a cold smile.
"Yes Captian Smith, whatever you deem appropriate, but there is the matter of the boat in South Hampton that you nearly caused a collision with before we could ever leave the harbor. Wasn't there an actual collision when you captained the Olympic? It would be horrible for an investigation to start now E.J. Especially with your retirement at the end of this trip, wouldn't you like to end your career on an illustrious note, or................."
She watched as the Captain stared at Ismay for a few minutes before nodding in understanding. Ismay glanced at her and she knew very well the promises in his eyes if she didn't keep her silence. The Captian looked at her for a moment a glimmer of fear in his eyes and she felt familiar icy fingers run down her back. She knew at that moment the ship would sink, and there had never been anything she could do to stop it. Tears gathered in her eyes as she made her way up the stairs and past the two men that had just sealed the fate of everyone on board.
Ershey: I did say they'd get together eventually right? Sorry it will be a little while before they do. So a little more suspense. Still it will just make it better when it happens right?
Clover6776: I'm not sure I could do what Julia does either. I suppose though after being devastated by Alex twice now she's not too interested in seeing how much he loves her. I hope you continue to love it!
Rumor: Deliciously angsty? I love it! Yeah Jarrod's clueless, but he's been pretty sheltered for most of his life so we'll over look it shall we? The visions bit seemed to fit perfectly here. Poor Julia her life has been so turned upside down by Alex I don't think she knows which way is up. Do you honestly think I could send Alex away for good? I think I'm liking the addition of Morgan, he's a deliciously evil character, which can be so much fun to work with. I gave you your whip back, not too sure if that was a good idea, but hey, we'll see. Love ya Grams.
J.P. Hello doll whatcha up to? Hee hee hee, I'm horrible I know, I haven't called you back, but life hit the crazy switch, March 17 is looming closer and closer. Danny is a wiz at grammer and spelling. Not to mention math, isn't that wrong? It so isn't fair to all of us right brained people that he has access to his left side too. He's my human calculator. You did an awesome job editing, it just gives me a little one on one time with Dan. It's nice, I curl up next to him and he edits. We get to go over together how to possibly reword something. I really enjoy that time. It's also really nice to see what I'm doing wrong as he's going over it, makes it easier to correct it. Love you honey, I hope you're doing well!
Nevada: Thank you for the confidence booster, I hope you enjoyed this one as well.
Fiffifofum: (chuckles) Well I certainly try to have plots and characters. After all there isn't much story without them. In all seriousness, thank you very much for your praise, it really means a lot!! I think you actually have me blushing. It's too bad you don't read the POTC fandom, since I've incorporated Hourglass into that one, I'd really like to know if it stands up with the rest of my work. Still I understand there are many here that don't. I hope I don't disappoint you and continue to write stories that you enjoy!
Dreamer: I totally understand the need to have a little individuality. It certainly makes sense. I don't know how many chapters are left, quite a few more before I can fully wrap everything up. TTH was just over 30, I think I'll top it with this one. I'll send you the next DTD chapter; Dan and I are going to go over it tonight. I'm not going to turn down two editings that will only make it better right? Here's more, I'll see what I can do about getting more out soon!
Tears filled her eyes as she looked out on the sunrise, it stained the sky a brilliant red, as bright a crimson as blood. She wondered if this was the sign she had been waiting for. It had been four days since her vision and Alex's departure. They were four long days, perhaps the longest days of her life. Especially since sleep was an elusive thing when such a weight lay on her shoulders. Every morning she had survived to, she sat on the first class deck, huddled under a blanket watching the sunrise chasing away the darkness. Every night as she ascended the stairs she would glance at the clock, with it's graceful carving swirling around the curve of the time piece with dread, and when it's hands passed the time of 12:15 she breathed a breath of relief. That is until she realized that it was just one more day that she would have to get through before the time finally ran out, after all only one vision had not come true.
Gold touched the red as the sun began to peek over the watery horizon; it was a ray of hope that touched her heart as an idea occurred to her. The thought of her first vision with Alex, had reminded her that Alex had been on the ship in her last vision. Perhaps she had found a way to change the disaster she had seen. Perhaps something as simple as Alex departing Titanic had changed the course of events.
While a doubt lingered in her mind, she was too tired to heed it; instead she let the relief and joy fill her. As the tension left her body, the weariness of her sleepless nights crept over her and she briefly flirted with the idea of just closing her eyes right there in the deck, but as an elderly lady passed giving her an appraising glance she thought better of it. There were already rumors floating around that no only was she of loose morals, she was crazy as well.
With a sigh she pushed herself to her feet, taking stock of her appearance for the first time in days. Her dress was wrinkled almost beyond redemption, she could feel the disarray of her once carefully groomed hair, and she was sure she was pale. Nights without sleep often left one with dark circles and a sickly pale complexion. It was no wonder people thought her mad. With a sigh she smiled at the crewmember that held the door open for her and made her way to her room.
For the first time since boarding she appreciated the thick plush carpet that was beneath her feet, and the opulence of her surroundings. She reached for the knob of her room and quietly opened the door, she was thankful for the thick rug as she padded across the room as silently as she was able. She could hear Ally's humming in her room and knew she was pulling her mistress's morning clothing from the wardrobe. Sophia glanced around taking in the beauty of her sitting room and for the first time was thankful she had been given the opportunity to see such magnificence on her maiden voyage, it really was a marvel.
She opened her door and looked inside to see Ally laying out a rich purple gown that was somewhere between lavender and plumb. An amethyst necklace and earrings lay on the dressing table, while a matching comb lay next to her hairbrush and comb. Everything was ready for her return to her cabin, just as it had been the day before, and the one before that. Today, however, she would sleep, there was nothing to fret over, and her fears had evaporated in the morning sun.
"Ally." She spoke softly, knowing she would startle the busy maid. " You may stop laying out my clothing, I won't be dressing for breakfast."
"What will you be doing?" Ally asked as she got over her momentary shock.
"Sleeping." Sophia replied, " I find I need some rest."
"That would be good, miss." Ally said with reproach in her voice. " You haven't been taking care of yourself as well as you should. Nor have you been letting me take care of you."
"Forgive me." Sophia chuckled as Ally moved the dress from the bed to the chair that sat before her vanity table. She stood quietly as she felt Ally's nimble fingers deftly unhook her dress. It slid to the floor and she stepped out of it as Ally turned to the closet for one of her nightgowns. Her eyes followed the dust motes in the sunlight that streamed through her window with the interest of the sleep deprived as Ally loosened her laces and removed her corset. She felt the softness of her silk nightgown slip over her head and across her skin. There was nothing more decedent or comforting than the feel of silk, she mused as Ally released the pins in her hair and gently pushed her toward the bed.
"Now miss, I'll get you a nice cup of tea, and you'll have a nice little nap." Ally told Sophia while she pulled the covers to Sophia's chin.
"Don't worry about the tea, just wake me at noon, and have a bath drawn." Sophia murmured groggily.
"Yes miss." Ally replied as she watched Sophia's eyes droop shut and finally close. The dark circles under her eyes had been worse than Sophia had imagined and it had worried Ally at her mistress's fervent mission, though no one believed a word Sophia spoke about her vision. Instead it had only spread rumors of her addiction to laudanum, which no one really knew the truth about. Jarrod certainly didn't know and in his puppy love he had defended her, which no one believed either. After all men were often blinded by the excess of the women they loved, especially one as young as Jarrod. While he was old enough to be a man by societies standards, his boyish good looks and charm often made people underestimate him. I liked and respected the man, but there would be no help for it, there was only one man for Sophia, only one man that could truly deal with the mess she had made her life into.
Ally slipped from the room leaving Sophia to her dreams. Dreams that were vivid and frightening, dreams of dark water, cold night and a large ship breaking in half. She watched as it slipped beneath the waves like a sharp knife into a ripe peach. Her heart was heavy as she watched both for those that had been left on board and the ship itself. It had been a masterpiece gone to waste by the folly of man. Then there was only darkness, the chill faded, and her mind cleared of the distressing dream. Cleared into a dreamless slumber that would give her strength for the trails to come.
It seemed only minutes later that Ally shook her awake, her disturbing dreams forgotten in the calm that had followed. For a moment she toyed with the idea of just sleeping through the day, but she knew she would have to make an appearance. There was a certain decorum she must follow and that did not include sleeping the day away, especially with the rumors that had been circulating. It was time she made the gossip about her less interesting and acted normal.
Groggily she allowed Ally to lead her into the bathroom and sighed with pleasure as the warm water enveloped her easing the minor aches of sleeping. Wiping the last of the sleep from her eyes she settled down to enjoy her bath for as long as it was warm. Unfortunately Ally wouldn't let her lounge around in the bathtub; instead she was dressed, coifed, and perfumed in time to meet Jarrod for lunch.
She entered the room late, she knew lunch had already begun, and heads turned as she passed by. It seemed as though the room fell silent as it always does when you know everyone is looking at you, and not for good reasons. She raise her chin and ignored them, at least Ally had done an incredible job of dressing her. The dress she had chosen was the first she had worn in years that was not a bold jewel color. The dressmaker had certainly known her job when she had suggested the color, and it had been on a whim that she agreed. The gold tipped hairpins and the delicate golden chain with an equally delicate clock at the end had been brilliant, but that was Ally's job and she was good at it. Jarrod's eyes were appreciative as he stood and moved behind the chair opposite of him so he could pull it out for her.
"Thank you." She murmured as she sat with a grace that had been practiced since childhood and had eventually become instinct.
"You look beautiful Sophie." He told her. " You look like you are feeling better, I assume you have decided your dream was nothing more."
"Yes." Sophia replied though his haughty tone irritated her. He sounded as a father might to a child that keeps insisting a bad dream was real. "Lack of sleep and Alex's sudden appearance seemed to have put me on edge."
Jarrod looked sharply at her at the mention of Alex. There was something in her eyes when she spoke of him. Something that seemed to move within them while her face remained passive.
"What exactly was he to you Sophie?" Jarrod asked with nonchalance that Sophia saw right through.
"He was a childhood friend." Sophia replied her eyes narrowing as Jarrod cut his steak with an air of boredom.
"Was he a lover?" Jarrod questioned, a hint of jealousy actually creeping into his voice. Sophia bit back a smile, in some ways Jarrod was still so naïve and young, and her heart ached at the memory that seven years ago she had been just as young and naïve.
"Yes." Sophia replied truthfully, and was surprised at the flash of anger in Jarrod's eyes.
"Did he see you after the Café Parisian?" Jarrod's voice was becoming angry, and the people that the surrounding tables were beginning to look at them.
"What if he did, Jarrod?" Sophia asked, returning his questioning. " I am what I am, Jarrod, and you can't change that. You knew what I was when you got involved with me, and if I remember correctly that was what attracted me to you. There were no strings attached, you loved the idea of no one pushing you for marriage. I will never devote my life to one person, and one person only."
"I'm sorry." Jarrod whispered, looking away, she could sense the hurt under his words, but she couldn't react to it. Instead, she watched him coolly as he speared another bite, and put it into his mouth chewing mechanically as he looked away. Shaking her head she reached into the purse that had dangled at her side and produced an elegant, ivory cigarette holder. The carvings on it were a fanciful sweeping of swirls. Expertly she fitted a cigarette into it from the matching ivory case and lit it. The laudanum from earlier was beginning to wear off and her irritation was becoming hard to control.
"Jarrod, darling." She said, taking control of herself and laying a hand gently on his. "Don't ruin what time we have, enjoy what we have while we have it."
" What do you mean what time we have?" Jarrod questioned, his eyes rising to hers and she felt her heart catch. She knew that look, that sweet trusting look of a man in love. She forced herself not to look away, not to bow under the weight of his emotions. She had handled lovesick boys before.
'But this is no boy.' A voice whispered in her head. 'How do you handle the man that loves you when your heart is still trapped by another?'
"How long can this last Jarrod?" she asked her eyes soft with regret. " We are of two different worlds, though I may move within yours I can never be a part of it."
"But you were a part of it Sophia, at one time." Jarrod responded.
"Yes one at one time I was, but I have made my choices and I can not go back." Sophia replied. " My choices have left the doors shut forever on polite society in the manner of which you speak. You do not think I can waltz back into society, you can not possibly believe that by making our relationship permanent you will erase all that has gone before. You know that you and your family would be ridiculed. Enjoy what we have while we have it until you find some sweet debutant that your parents want you to marry and marry her with all the pomp that is required of you. Now if you will excuse me I must get a breath of fresh air."
Before he could open his mouth, she was walking away trailing a line of cigarette smoke as assuredly as the engines were steaming smoke into the air just outside the room in which he now sat. He ignored the stares of those around him and continued eating his meal. For the past six months he had tried to get beyond the walls she had built up, but it was no use. She was a courtesan, a woman up for the highest price he reminded himself, just as he had for the past few months. At first that is all she had been, a woman that had been his without all the complications of marriage, but that had all changed.
At first he wouldn't have even called her beautiful, so much as intriguing. Her skin was darker than fashion expected; her hair black as the midnight sky and her eyes a vivid contrasting green. Her body was not sylph like instead it curved in all the places she was supposed to. He knew that the women around him were trying to achieve the same curves by binding their waists tightly. They were forcing the hourglass she already had and he had never seen her corset cinched to an uncomfortable degree. Still he doubted she reached the perfect 16 inches most women were looking for. Her while her clothing was of a fashionable cut, all of it was of dark rich colors. Glancing around him he saw the room was a sea of creams and pastels. Even the gold dress she had worn to lunch, while lighter by far than any other she had worn in his presence was a dark rich gold. She was as flashy as the gypsies she claimed heritage from, and as mysterious. At the same time she was intelligent, well read, well versed, and witty. It was an intoxicating combination.
He had desired her from the start, as had nearly ever man in the room, but he had gotten her. He had charmed and flattered her for only a night that had turned into days, and days that had turned into months. Now he couldn't see his life without her, he found the small thing had paled her bigger assets, and her flaws. There was pain under her tough exterior, demons she fought that he couldn't help mostly because she wouldn't let him. There was a place in her he could never reach, though he had tried. He leaned back and closed his eyes as his mind flew back to the day they had left Europe. To the day he had first seen Alexander Conlon.
He knew the man's name well, he remembered him from the past. He had been first introduced to him at Julia Dubois birthday party. Mrs. Vanderbilt- Belmont had hosted it and that had been the only reason he had attended. Julia Dubois had a reputation of thumbing her nose at society and had made herself an outcast. Luckily for her she had a strong friendship with one of the most influential women in New York and her father had been the Mayor. He had only seen her a few times and had ignored her in favor of more genteel company. Still he remembered Alex mostly due to his reputation as a hard as nails businessman that had risen from the streets to grace the parlors of the rich.
In the few minutes he had seen Sophia with Alex he had seen a different person. Gone had been the quiet, cool masks. Replaced by a passion that had brought a rosy color to her cheeks and a light that had never been in her eye before. The glitter in her eyes was one of a woman scorned, but he had no doubt that Alex still had some kind of hold on her. He wondered if this had been the man that had hurt her, for he was no fool and knew that her skittishness with emotion had to have come from somewhere.
"Are you done sir?" The inquiring waiter broke him from his thoughts and he looked down at his half eaten plate for a moment before realizing he was not hungry.
"Yes, thank you." Jarrod replied waiving his hand at the plate in a gesture of dismissal. Quickly he wiped his mouth with the napkin that had been on his lap and laid it on the table before standing and leaving the Veranda. He could see her staring out at the vast and seeming endless stretch of water as he exited outside. She looked so far away, so lost, and he longed to comfort her, but it would be no use. She would not accept comfort from him. Turning the other way he started out for something to take his mind off his musings.
Sophia leaned against the railing, glancing out at the ocean; out of the corner of her eye she had seen Jarrod, and her fervent prayers had been answered. He had started out in the opposite direction. She knew he had come to care for her, but she had no idea he was starting to fall for her. After her last encounter Jarrod had seemed so safe, so familiar. She had slipped into his life with ease and had truly enjoyed his company.
What if she did accept his love? She could never love him as deeply as she had loved Alex, but she did respect and care for him. Her heart pounded as she thought of what she had always shied away from. Marriages had been started with less and she knew that Jarrod wanted forever. Could she promise forever, could she live without the passion and the fire that had been so a part of her relationship with Alex? Could she let Jarrod into her heart knowing that it would be a pale shadow of what she could have had with Alex? She closed her eyes as she remembered the last time she had seen Alex, of the way her heart had leapt at the sight of him, of his smell, and the way his kiss had made her feel.
Was she fated to live the rest of her life alone because she couldn't have Alex, was she to spend night after night in a cold bed pretending emotions she didn't feel? For the first time in years she had felt a steady affection for Jarrod, should she deny herself happiness because of a prediction she had made that hadn't come true?
Turning away from the ocean she started inside, her arms already becoming cold in the afternoon light. She entered the Veranda and walked swiftly past the tables. Just outside she paused; the clock read twenty 'till two and Captain Smith stood with Mr. Ismay, the ship's owner, a slip of paper in his hand.
"There are iceberg warnings coming in from every ship near enough to send a signal." Captain Smith was saying as he handed Mr. Ismay the slip of paper. " Perhaps we should slow the ship down."
"I don't think that will be necessary E.J." Mr. Ismay replied placing the paper in his pocket as if it was of no consequence. "Any icebergs large enough to sink this ship we would see in plenty of time don't you think? I'd rather see us arrive ahead of schedule in New York. Not only is Titanic the most luxurious ship ever to sail, but imagine her as the fastest."
"Forgive me, but my concern is not for the publicity of the White Star lines Mr. Ismay, rather the safety of my ship, it's passengers, and my crew." Captain Smith said stiffly, Mr. Ismay's face spread into a cold smile.
"Yes Captian Smith, whatever you deem appropriate, but there is the matter of the boat in South Hampton that you nearly caused a collision with before we could ever leave the harbor. Wasn't there an actual collision when you captained the Olympic? It would be horrible for an investigation to start now E.J. Especially with your retirement at the end of this trip, wouldn't you like to end your career on an illustrious note, or................."
She watched as the Captain stared at Ismay for a few minutes before nodding in understanding. Ismay glanced at her and she knew very well the promises in his eyes if she didn't keep her silence. The Captian looked at her for a moment a glimmer of fear in his eyes and she felt familiar icy fingers run down her back. She knew at that moment the ship would sink, and there had never been anything she could do to stop it. Tears gathered in her eyes as she made her way up the stairs and past the two men that had just sealed the fate of everyone on board.
Ershey: I did say they'd get together eventually right? Sorry it will be a little while before they do. So a little more suspense. Still it will just make it better when it happens right?
Clover6776: I'm not sure I could do what Julia does either. I suppose though after being devastated by Alex twice now she's not too interested in seeing how much he loves her. I hope you continue to love it!
Rumor: Deliciously angsty? I love it! Yeah Jarrod's clueless, but he's been pretty sheltered for most of his life so we'll over look it shall we? The visions bit seemed to fit perfectly here. Poor Julia her life has been so turned upside down by Alex I don't think she knows which way is up. Do you honestly think I could send Alex away for good? I think I'm liking the addition of Morgan, he's a deliciously evil character, which can be so much fun to work with. I gave you your whip back, not too sure if that was a good idea, but hey, we'll see. Love ya Grams.
J.P. Hello doll whatcha up to? Hee hee hee, I'm horrible I know, I haven't called you back, but life hit the crazy switch, March 17 is looming closer and closer. Danny is a wiz at grammer and spelling. Not to mention math, isn't that wrong? It so isn't fair to all of us right brained people that he has access to his left side too. He's my human calculator. You did an awesome job editing, it just gives me a little one on one time with Dan. It's nice, I curl up next to him and he edits. We get to go over together how to possibly reword something. I really enjoy that time. It's also really nice to see what I'm doing wrong as he's going over it, makes it easier to correct it. Love you honey, I hope you're doing well!
Nevada: Thank you for the confidence booster, I hope you enjoyed this one as well.
Fiffifofum: (chuckles) Well I certainly try to have plots and characters. After all there isn't much story without them. In all seriousness, thank you very much for your praise, it really means a lot!! I think you actually have me blushing. It's too bad you don't read the POTC fandom, since I've incorporated Hourglass into that one, I'd really like to know if it stands up with the rest of my work. Still I understand there are many here that don't. I hope I don't disappoint you and continue to write stories that you enjoy!
Dreamer: I totally understand the need to have a little individuality. It certainly makes sense. I don't know how many chapters are left, quite a few more before I can fully wrap everything up. TTH was just over 30, I think I'll top it with this one. I'll send you the next DTD chapter; Dan and I are going to go over it tonight. I'm not going to turn down two editings that will only make it better right? Here's more, I'll see what I can do about getting more out soon!