Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. It is not being distributed for profit. Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.

Reminder: This story is rated M and may not be appropriate for readers under the age of 18.

Chapter 21

Late December, 2009

BPOV

The next several weeks with Edward were the happiest of my life. We spent more and more time together, and if I wasn't in class, in the lab, or sleeping, I was with Edward. To anyone else, it might have been suffocating to spend so much time with a boyfriend, but to me, it was never too much. I couldn't get enough. When I was with him, nothing else mattered.

Life went on, of course, and I didn't lose sight of my responsibilities. I still focused on my graduate studies and did all those day-to-day things like grocery shopping, paying the bills, putting gas in the car, and everything else that made up my daily life. It was just that now, when I did those things, Edward was by my side. Well, actually, Edward took my car once a week and put the gas in it, because he knew I didn't like to. And, oh my god, it was such a simple thing, but the first time he took out the garbage for me, it made me so happy that he'd done it ever since. He said it was a small price to pay to be rewarded with a flurry of kisses, and he wished I generated more trash so he could take that out, too. When I reminded him that it wouldn't be environmentally responsible, he jokingly moaned and asked me to "stop talking dirty." I just giggled in his arms and kissed a path to his earlobe, making him sigh contentedly and squeeze me just a little bit tighter.

We went to his house a few more times, and each time I grew more relaxed, choosing to enjoy the beauty of what his mother created rather than be intimidated by it. On our next visit he took me to his room and, as I had guessed, he had claimed the turret room as his own. It was a fascinating insight into his mind, into his life. His CD collection was without parallel, and his personal collection of books spilled out of the bookcases — stacked neatly on the floor. The lack of a bed puzzled me, but he explained his couch was a convertible, offering him a more comfortable place to sit when he read or listened to music.

All in all, it was an organized mess that made me feel immediately comfortable, even if I did eye that couch on more than one occasion, feeling just a bit of heat in my face each time I did.

Our physical relationship was progressing, but we hadn't yet . . . you know. We spent a lot of time kissing, and our hands had roamed freely over each other's bodies through our clothes. And just the other night, his hands roamed freely under my shirt . . . Still, we were taking things pretty slowly, without consciously focusing on a timetable. We just did what seemed natural. I trusted Edward, and I never told him to stop. I was ready for the next step, and I thought he was, too. It seemed inevitable and . . . imminent, but not in a rushed way, just in a way that felt right.

I couldn't get over how dramatically my life had changed. Basically, things were perfect.

* * *

It was a normal weeknight, like any other, and Edward had just walked through my apartment door, smiling that crooked smile that I loved so much. He carried a brown paper bag that smelled suspiciously like Cheong's Buffet, the Chinese restaurant from down the street.

"Hi," he said, leaning down to kiss the top of my head. "I thought you might be tired so I brought you some dinner. I already ate with my family."

"Mmm," I said, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing. "Thank you."

He went over to the kitchen counter and started unloading the takeout containers, fishing out the utensils and napkins from the bottom of the bag. "Sit down, I'll bring it to you."

As he cheerfully made his way around my small kitchen, I thought again how lucky I was to have Edward Cullen for a boyfriend. I didn't know what twist of fate had sent him my way, I just knew that I never wanted to let him go, and I hoped with all my heart he felt the same.

"Oh, hey, by the way, I finished that book we were talking about yesterday. You're going to love it," he said as he put a plate down in front of me.

He was talking about a new release by one of our favorite authors. He had called me from his mother's book store just the day before to see if I wanted him to get me a copy. I told him that I would just borrow his. There was no way either of them would let me pay, and if I borrowed his copy, his mother would end up giving away only one book, not two.

"You finished it already?" I asked, surprised that he'd made his way through it so quickly. "That book is 700 pages long. How could you finish it already?"

He didn't answer, he just grinned at me.

I groaned in mock annoyance. "How is it that you are so good at everything? You are Mr. Superlative. I can't keep up with you."

He looked at me with soft eyes. "No, Bella, don't say that. I've just got a lot more time on my hands than you do. High school was never much of a challenge the first time around, but it is absolutely effortless now — whereas you're doing your graduate studies and working 20 hours a week in the lab. You have a lot more occupying your time than I do."

He was right, of course. But still, I didn't let it go. "I know, Edward, but you just picked up that book yesterday when you called me. And then you were with me until about midnight. What did you do, stay up all night?"

"Uh . . . " he said sheepishly.

"You did, didn't you?"

Slowly he nodded.

"My gosh," I teased him, "I've never seen you eat, you don't seem to sleep, you don't age, you're super strong, you're good at everything . . . What are you, a vampire or something?" I giggled while I tried to spear a piece of food with my chop stick.

I thought he would laugh with me, but instead he froze and just stared at me.

"Bella . . ." He looked nervous. He didn't say anything else, but he kept looking at me like he thought I should run away.

"Edward?" He was starting to scare me — I'd never seen him act like this.

"I . . . I didn't want . . . " he stammered.

And then I just knew. Oh my god, it had been right in front of my face this whole time. Images flashed through my mind, going all the way back to that first day in Forks when I saw him run too fast across the parking lot. Like a slideshow, I replayed the incident with the bookcase, the time I looked through the peephole and saw him move so fast that he was only a blur, all the times he'd made excuses for not eating, the cool temperature of his skin, the times I'd dozed off in his arms when we were watching movies late at night but I never, not once, caught him sleeping.

"Edward, you are a vampire, aren't you?"

I felt strangely calm about this, as if it was the most natural thing to discover about your boyfriend — like finding out he wore colored contacts and never bothered to tell you. Have I truly changed that much with all the bizarre things that happened to me over the years? Am I so quick to accept the possibility of what I once thought of as fairy tales or the supernatural?

Yes, I thought to myself, I could accept this. The supernatural is just an unknown before it becomes known. I looked at Edward with a new level of fascination. So much to learn . . .

He took a deep breath and let it out. Then he looked at me imploringly. "I didn't want to frighten you." He reached his hands toward me but stopped just short of touching me. Then he looked down in defeat. "I'll understand if you want me to go."

"Want you to go? What are you talking about?" He looked up at me, the pain in his face so devastating I felt my heart twist in response.

"Well, you just found out that your boyfriend is a monster. Isn't that enough?" A monster? No. How could he think that?

"It's going to take a lot more than that to get rid of me. So if you're planning on going somewhere, you better let me know what to pack, because I'm coming with you." I was trying to lighten his mood, but it wasn't working too well. I could still feel the tension radiating off him.

His eyes dropped to the floor again, his brow furrowed, his breaths coming rapidly. "Edward," I said, leaning down and trying to meet his gaze, "look at me, please." When he lifted his face, his expression was tortured.

Looking directly in his eyes, I told him in no uncertain terms how I felt.

"Edward, I love you. I don't care what you are." I hoped he could hear the conviction in my voice, the sincerity of my words. I reached across the table and grazed my fingertips against his cool cheekbone, cupping his face in my hand and willing him to believe me. "You are not a monster, Edward, you are the most wonderful man I have ever known." I gazed into his astonished eyes, those beautiful and soft golden eyes.

He moved so fast he was a blur again. Before I knew it I was in his arms and he had lifted me off my feet. I wrapped my arms and legs around him as he kissed every inch of my face and neck. "I love you, I love you, I love you," he murmured over and over again.

I threw my head back as he ran kisses down my neck towards my shoulders. I could barely talk, but I could still whisper endearments to him, feeling my love for him grow to the point that I ached with it. My heart was racing as I reached out, searching for his lips, needing to feel them on mine, needing him to feel the depths of my love. Grabbing his face in my hands I kissed him with all the heady emotion I was feeling. I could feel his breath hitch as he met my lips with so much passion that it escalated my own as his tongue carefully explored my mouth, and his scent invaded every cell in my body and drew me closer to him, burning with passion for him, needing him now.

"Edward," I whispered as I broke away from his lips, "take me to the bedroom." He pulled back for a moment and looked into my eyes, judging my intent, my sincerity. I smiled and kissed him softly. "Please," I said against his lips, "please make love to me. Let me make love to you." I licked his lips, tasting his scent. He trembled against me, and slowly walked us down the hallway, kissing me softly, holding me gently, and letting me feel his love in every touch as we gradually made our way to my bed.

He set me on the edge of the bed and knelt between my legs. Holding my face in his hands he brushed his lips against mine. "You must tell me if I do anything at all that hurts you. Promise me, love." I nodded my head quickly, almost dismissively. I was certain he would never do anything to hurt me.

"Bella, I love you. I have only ever loved you, and I have loved no one before you," he whispered against my lips. I shivered as he ran his fingers through my hair, smoothed his hands over my neck. He held the back of my head, pressing his lips more firmly against mine, moving over them, savoring them, tasting them.

He pulled back for a moment and fingered the hem of my shirt, searching my eyes for permission. I raised my arms above my head in answer, feeling the air caress my body as he slowly drew my shirt up and over my head, tossing it away. I tried not to be self-conscious as his eyes followed his hands to my collarbones, fingers tracing a path over my shoulders, down my sternum to the edge of my bra and back up again. His cool fingers ignited me as I felt my body trembling in anticipation. He raised his eyes back to mine, and if I felt a moment's embarrassment it was gone as I saw adoration, love, and yearning in his eyes as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine.

"You are beautiful Bella, more beautiful than I ever imagined." He trailed kisses across my cheek and to my ear as he ran his hands down my back, reached the clasp of my bra and flicked it open. His hands were back to my shoulders and he slid the straps down my arms. My bra fell to the floor between us.

I should have been nervous, I should have felt a multitude of emotions as I was exposed to my lover for the first time. But instead all I could feel was the heat building in me, my nipples hardening as the cool air hit them, and more than anything else, my overwhelming love for the man before me as he placed soft kisses down my neck, grazing his hands over my breasts as he brought his lips down to them for his first taste.

My purrs sang with his as he took me in his mouth, gently, keeping his teeth away as his tongue circled me, as his lips kissed and teased, as his hand cupped my other breast and lightly rubbed my peak. My heart was hammering and all I could feel was his mouth, his hand, his love, my love, and the fire building in me, relentlessly burning through my body as I needed him, needed more of him.

I slowly fell back onto the bed, his mouth following me, never stopping, caressing, adoring every inch of my breasts. One hand slid down my stomach to the button of my jeans, and I drew in a shaking breath as the button was undone, the zipper slowly lowered as I felt a cool hand reverently reach down and brush light fingers through my curls.

It was too much, nothing had ever felt like this, my dreams had never felt this intense, this incredible. My body was alive and shaking with need, need for Edward and nothing else. I moaned and arched my back, begging him, holding his head to my breast as I ran my fingers through his silken hair. I was all sensation, tingling and burning as his cool mouth continued to tease and kiss and lick. With a soft growl he slid my jeans and panties down my hips, down my legs until they pooled at my feet. The cool air hit me as his cooler hand stroked my belly, my thighs, ghosting over where I wanted him most as he continued to tease my breasts with his wondrous mouth.

I couldn't take it any longer, I was on fire, I needed him, I needed him now. "Edward," my voice was strained and cracking, my breathing was uncontrolled. "Take me, Edward, take me now, make me yours."

He growled, primitive and vibrating through the air as he stood above me and captured my eyes while his eyes smoldered into mine, pupils dilated and black with desire, with need, his body trembling as he tore off his shirt, hands shaking as he unbuttoned his jeans and slowly lowered the zipper. I couldn't take my eyes off him, roaming over his perfect body — his lean muscles, feeling the strength pouring off him held in check with fierce concentration, the raging desire in his eyes, and as he stood before me naked for the first time, my own desire for him, to have him touch me, to fill me, to be inside me, to make me his, to make him mine, ignited me, inflamed me, overwhelmed me . . . I whimpered as he knelt before me, running his hands up my legs, stroking the inside of my thighs. "Edward I am yours, make me yours," I whispered as I reached for him — needing to feel him, touch him, let his cool skin ease my burning. My heart was pounding, I could barely see — just feel as his hands slid to where I needed him, feeling my readiness, my trembling, my uncontrolled lust for him and need for him now.

"Mine," he said softly, in a tone that sounded surprised and awed. He kissed my belly and made his way up my body, his chest grazing over my hard nipples as his legs gently pushed my knees apart. "Mine," he repeated as he bent down and kissed my breasts, sliding one hand under my hip as he lowered his body. "I love you, Bella" his burning eyes met mine as he gently pressed against me, sliding into me slowly, trembling with control, with need, with desire, slowly entering me, filling me, loving me, taking me.

"Edward, I love you," I whimpered as I brought my hips towards his and wrapped my legs around his waist, sliding my hands down his back. Nothing, nothing had been like this, nothing had ever felt like this, nothing ever made me burn like this as I captured his mouth with mine in a searing kiss and poured every ounce of my love out to him.

I was his. He was mine. And there was nothing but the two of us as we spun through time, through space, burning in our need and consumed by our love, the other half of ourselves finally coming home as we both cried out in release, holding onto each other and basking in the earth-shattering discovery of true and all-encompassing love.

* * *

Later, much later, when we were lying in my bed, I was awestruck by how extraordinarily fascinating it is to be in love with a vampire. Holding me in his arms, softly caressing my back, Edward told me all about himself, how long he had been a vampire, how he had become one, and various myths versus realities of vampirism.

I learned about his family, and how and why they chose to limit themselves to animal instead of human blood. How his father had learned it would sustain them and helped the rest of them through the process of learning to resist. I was dumbfounded to hear how old his father was, and was looking forward to long talks with him about the London of his birth.

When Edward told me he had to stay out of the sunlight because it made him sparkle, I made him promise to show me one day soon. It was hard to imagine how he could be any more beautiful, but if anyone could outdo himself, he could. I blushed a bit, thinking of making love to him as he sparkled in the sunlight. Edward noticed my blush and smirked, knowing exactly what I was thinking.

When he told me he'd never wanted anyone's blood as much as he wanted mine, it . . . well, it turned me on. I knew it was wrong, but I'd never felt so wanted in such a primal way. It made me feel powerful. But not so powerful that I didn't feel relieved when he told me how hard he had worked to desensitize himself to his lust for my blood. Hearing how he had learned to control his thirst made me feel safe. And, as he had just shown me, he had other kinds of lusts that were just as primal and made me feel just as wanted.

It was good to finally have an explanation for his behavior in Forks and the way he denied recognizing me when we saw each other again here in Binghamton. Holding each other close, we both lamented the time that we'd lost before finding each other again, but mainly I was just happy to be with him now, despite the strange twists of fate that had separated us and reunited us again. I thought back to our conversation about fate and destiny, and pulled myself closer to him, kissing his chest and snuggling into his arms. If this was outside interference, I'd take it any day.

I couldn't resist giving him a little bit of a hard time, though.

"So, you're telling me that you ran from me . . . and lied to me . . . because you wanted me so much?"

"When you put it like that, you make it sound so bad," he said, rolling his eyes. "I was trying to protect you. I couldn't imagine that you would want to be with me, too."

"For such a smart guy, that was pretty . . . not-smart of you," I said, leaning up to kiss his lips even as I laughed. I had already forgiven him, of course. It was obvious that he had just been trying to do the right thing.

"Just don't go off and decide that you need to leave me for my own good again, okay?" I added. "We both said we want to make our own choices about love, remember?" One look in his eyes and I knew he remembered our conversation about Casablanca during our first date.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, and looked chastened. But before he could feel too guilty, I nestled my head into the crook of his neck and started slowly kissing him, while my hand reached under the covers and caressed his stomach. When I dipped my hand even lower, he gasped and tightened his hold on me. "I have an idea of how you can make it up to me, Edward . . ."

* * *

We spent that first night exploring . . . not just physically, but exploring the facts of our pasts, and talking about who we really were. I had never felt so intimately connected to anyone.

When he told me about his mindreading ability, I was immediately intrigued.

"So wait," I asked. "Does that mean that you can cross distances with your mind, too? Be one place in your mind even if you are physically somewhere else?"

"I don't think so, Bella," he said a bit hesitantly. "What makes you ask that?" All of a sudden he seemed a bit unsure of himself and his own ability, like he really didn't know the right answer to my question.

"Oh, nothing really, I just thought, well . . . if you could come see me with your mind, it might expl— . . ." and I trailed off. "But never mind," I said with a shrug. "You already said that you can't read my thoughts anyway, so I don't guess you'd be able to visit me by using your mind even if it was part of your special ability."

He was quiet for a moment, then pulled me closer and leaned down to kiss my forehead. "Oh, Bella," he sighed. "If I did have that power, there is only one person on earth I'd want to cross distance to reach. And that is you, my love."

We were both contemplative for a while after that. And although I was blissfully ensconced in the arms of my real-live lover, my thoughts inexorably drifted to my first love, the one who had come before Edward . . . my dream lover. And I felt a sudden wave of sadness as I realized I was going to have to let the dream go.

Because reality was holding me tightly in his arms.

A/N:

Voting for the Indie TwiFic Awards is open now through Monday, July 13. Perchance to Dream is nominated in the categories of (1) Best Alternate Universe Work in Progress, and (2) Best Collaboration. We would really, really appreciate your support. To vote, please visit
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Songs for Chapter 21

57. Ride, by Cary Brothers. For Edward when Bella guesses that he's a vampire, and for the lyric, "if I told you you were right, would you take my hand and ride?"

58. Oh The Vampyre, by A.A. Bondy. For Edward's confession that he's a vampire.

59. The Way I Am, by Ingrid Michaelson. For Bella, who loves Edward the way that he is, just as he loves her.

Listen to the playlist by visiting my profile or going to
www . playlist . com/playlist/16715134219

Huge thanks as ever to FantasyMother. Please feel free to drop by our thread on the Twilighted forum in the Alternate Universe section. www[dot]twilighted[dot]net/forum

We'll be back Monday with new chapters. In the meantime, please leave a review and let us know what you think. Thanks!