haha update. hope you like this chappy. its sorta filler, but at the same time, it has a lot of buildup/development stuff. hope you lovee :D
and thanks adrienne for helping me out with a small itty bitty part of this chappyy. woo! :P
and dudes. i started the house of night series and haha. its funnyy and pretty good :D it annoys me how they spell it vampyre though, instead of vampire. idk. it just does xD
dont forget to review for me :D
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CHAPTER 20 – These Silences Have Words
"Their New Year's needs to be flawless," I said in a hushed voice, looking around at my friends as we leaned over the kitchen counter.
"One to remember," Rosalie added.
"The most incredible experience," Edward murmured.
"This is the best cookie I've ever had in my entire life."
All three of us turned to glare at Emmett, who was happily munching on the Chocolatey Santa Claus Delites Donna had given Rosalie for Christmas.
When he caught us scowling, he gradually stopped chewing and gave us a confused expression. Rosalie snatched the cookie out of his head and threw it into the trash, ignoring his whine and looking back down on the notepad.
"I don't know what to do," I sighed. "Alice and Jasper need to have a romantic evening!" I looked back and forth between Rosalie and Edward. "Can't you guys come up with a scheme for them, like you did for me?"
Rosalie looked nervous. "I don't know, Bells. Alice is a pretty independent person. And they work pretty well on their own."
"Jasper does anything Alice does," Edward added. "Maybe we could put that to good use."
"You're absolutely sure that they love each other?" Emmett asked, looking around our kitchen in search of food. He pulled open our refrigerator and shuffled through its contents. "Have any of them said it?"
"They've implied it…" Rosalie said uncertainly.
"Implied it isn't enough," Emmett said, opening a package of string cheese. He began to eat it vigorously, meanwhile saying, "You need to hear it aloud, straight and forward. We don't want a misunderstanding."
All four of us looked at each other apprehensively, and Rosalie sighed in defeat, tossing the pen onto the pad and strutting out of the kitchen.
-------o-------
Edward and I spent the five following days after Christmas spending as much time together as possible, without Alice knowing. There were several times where I'd asked why Alice couldn't know, but Emmett gave me the same, "She would have his head" response over and over. I eventually gave up asking. The look he'd give would scare the hell out of me, so Edward and I were careful to only meet when Alice was with Jasper.
Edward and I got super close, and I'd even spent one night at his dorm room. We would listen to music, talk, watch movies, and hang out all the time. He would crack a joke, and I would laugh. There were also times where we would get into a debate over our philosophies, which usually resulted in Edward laughing at me and me getting mad at him. And then he'd kiss me, and all the anger would be forgotten.
I would come home to my dorm room, and Rosalie and Alice would smile at me. Alice was suspicious – I knew – for she continually asked what was up with my suddenly jubilant vibe. Honestly, I couldn't see any difference, but Rosalie told me to go look in the mirror. I obliged.
The first time I actually tried to look for the differences, they popped out like a neon-green dog in a horde of black ones. Compared to before Christmas Eve, it was like night and day. My face glowed, and my cheeks were sore from excessive smiling and laughing. I looked…"healthy," but it wasn't as if I wasn't healthy before. I don't know – it was a strange feeling. But either way, I knew I was different. Things had changed. And my eyes. They sparkled with happiness, something instinct told me only Edward could cause to happen.
As I'd stared at my reflection, I thought of how much I had changed because of Edward. For instance, I threw away all of my hazel-colored contacts. I stuck with my natural eye color – brown. The first night I did so, Edward smiled at me, looking happier and more buoyant than I'd ever seen him. I knew that from the look on his face, I wasn't plain. And that's why I discarded the contacts.
And here I was again, looking at myself in the mirror.
My eyes went from my face, trailed down my neck, and down the length of my arm to rest on the little golden heart that discreetly dangled out from underneath my green sleeve. I'd been wearing long sleeves lately, not only because of the weather, but because I wanted to wear the bracelet he gave me without Alice or anyone else seeing. It always reminded me of him, not that Edward was never on my mind.
A sudden vibration noise snapped me out of my observations, and I hurried out of the bathroom towards my bed, where my cell phone was vibrating. One look at the Caller ID, and I was grinning like an idiot.
"Hi, Edward," I said into the phone, feeling my grin widen when I heard his musical voice.
"Bella," he responded, sounding amused. Then he sighed. "I miss you."
I giggled, sounding like a giddy schoolgirl – which I was. "I just saw you last night. We had dinner together and I glared at the waitress that was flirting with you," I said innocently, remembering her face clearly. I also remembered her actions, with her hips swaying suggestively and her long blond hair which she flipped over and over as if to prove a point.
Edward chuckled. "When can I see you again?"
I glanced at my watch. It was only noon-ish, and Alice had plans to have lunch with Jasper. I swear, our dorm room was pretty much empty lately. Rosalie was always with Emmett, Alice was always with Jasper, and now I was always with Edward.
"Soon," I said, smiling at the thought of seeing Edward again. "What do you want to do?"
"I can order pizza," he offered. "We can have lunch together. And then hang out after. I want to talk to you about something."
I wondered what he could want to talk to me about, but otherwise responded, "Okay. I'll see you in ten minutes." I could almost imagine Alice scurrying around her room in search of a fashionable outfit to wear.
"Do you want me to come pick you up?"
"I can walk," I answered.
"Bella –"
"It's fine," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'm not going to run into Tanya or anything, so don't worry. Bye, Edward." I hung up before he could retort, and laughed at his overprotective personality.
True to my word, by the time Alice was out the door on her lunch date with Jasper, I was crossing the quad to the boys' dormitories peacefully, remembering to skip over that unevenly cemented area. I'd done it several times before, and just like those times, Lauren and her clique didn't show up to cause trouble again.
The door was open before I could even knock.
Edward grinned crookedly at me, his green eyes shining brightly and eagerly.
"Hello, Bella," he murmured, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on my lips.
I smiled against his lips. "Edward," I breathed blissfully, sounding almost teasing. "Are you going to let me in?"
He laughed and pulled back, stepping away from the doorway. "Sure."
Shutting the door, he once again took my coat for me and I comfortably settled down onto the black leather couch, admiring his music collection from afar.
"You can play whatever you'd like," he said, sitting down next to me. "The pizza is coming soon. I hope you like pepperoni."
I nodded, blushed, and stood up, eager to get my hands on his music. Over the past five days, I'd managed to gather a huge load of new songs onto my iPod, thanks to Edward and his incredibly large music collection.
After flipping through some of his CDs, I shoved a Fountains of Wayne CD into the player, and the music blared through the speakers, somewhat loud but not annoyingly so.
I settled back down onto the sofa and met his surprised gaze.
"What?" I asked cautiously.
He laughed and tenderly kissed my cheek. "Fountains of Wayne," he murmured thoughtfully. "I thought you hated them."
"I didn't know them, actually."
"Until now."
"Until now," I agreed, rolling my eyes as a knock was heard.
Edward went to the door, and the mouthwatering aroma of pizza filled my nose. He exchanged a couple words with the delivery person, whom I couldn't see, and returned back to the living room area with a box of pizza.
"We're not going to finish this," I said worriedly, staring at all the slices dubiously.
Edward laughed. "If we don't, Emmett can get some free pizza. God knows he'd eat it whether it was rotten or covered in cream cheese."
I giggled and pulled out a piece.
We sat and talked and ate like usual, chatting amiably about random things. Sometime during our conversations, I switched the CD to Dashboard Confessional, which sparked up another conversation. Edward asked about everything, even when I thought he'd finished four days ago. I was fine with answering them, though, because I knew he left the opportunity open to refusal. What intrigued me most was the fact that he clung to my every word, and his eyes were glued to me the entire time I spoke.
I ended up eating only two slices, and Edward had…eight. I don't know how the hell he did it, but he did, and when I asked him, he simply shrugged it off like it was nothing. If Edward could eat eight slices, then Emmett could have probably ten or more.
"See?" Edward asked, closing the now-empty box. "We finished it."
"You mean you finished it," I mumbled. "Aren't you stuffed?"
Edward shrugged and pulled me onto his lap. "Not really."
"Damn."
He laughed and kissed the top of my head. "I have a big stomach?" he asked, raising an innocent eyebrow at me.
I laughed. "Sure."
We sank into comfortable silence after that, not really having anything to talk about – which I didn't mind. I only did what I always did – snuggled closer to his chest, inhaling his sweet scent. And Edward did what he always did – buried his face in my hair and inhaled the scent of it. He would occasionally kiss the top of my head, or laugh at my occasional comments at some of the songs.
It was always these moments together that made me wonder what I was feeling. What did I feel? I wanted to stay here with him, and never, ever move. With Edward, life seemed to be a completely new reality. He made me feel safe and protected, but at the same time happy and loved. Loved. That's exactly how I felt when I was around him. It was a whole other world when Edward was near me, and I totally and completely succumbed to it.
Sometimes, while I was in his arms, I would feel an odd clenching in my chest. It wasn't hurtful or anything, just different and unusual. I would involuntarily pull myself closer to him, trying to fill every empty space between us. It was strange, but it was pleasurable simultaneously. I liked it. A lot. And I didn't plan on losing it any time soon, or ever even.
"Bella," Edward murmured after what seemed like hours. I could feel his lips move against the top of my head.
"Hmm," I responded, once again instinctively grinning when I heard his silky voice.
"New Year's is coming in two days," he said, lifting my chin up so that we faced each other. His green eyes were smoldering as they bore into my brown ones. "New Year's Eve is tomorrow night…" he trailed off, looking almost nervous, and then started, "And I was wondering if you wanted to spend it with me."
Wondering? Wow.
"Of course I do," I answered boldly, barely hesitating. "You know I always want to be with you, Edward."
My words somehow calmed him, and the slightly concerned and anxious expression on his face faded, replaced by my favorite crooked grin.
"Thanks so much, Bella," he said, leaning down and pressing his lips firmly against mine. "It means so much to me."
I grinned lazily and deepened the kiss, enjoying this new sensation that was Edward.
-------o-------
"He invited you to spend New Year's Eve with him?" Rosalie asked, shocked as I nodded sheepishly, incredibly thrilled by the thought.
My sister laughed. "Wow. You should hang with him, Bells."
"But what about you and Alice?"
Rosalie waved her hand indifferently. "She and I will be occupied with our boyfriends, so you don't need to worry about us."
I bit my lip. "Are you sure? I –"
"Bells, I'm absolutely sure," Rosalie said, putting a hand on my shoulder to reassure me. "He totally likes you." Haven't heard that one before. "Go have fun with him tomorrow night."
I nodded, feeling a new bubble of excitement form in my stomach. Yes! I thought brightly. I tried to imagine another night with Edward, and maybe I could even spend the night with him. He knew, and I knew, that we slept best together. I smiled at the thought.
Rosalie eventually babbled about Lauren's fashion issues while I nodded and agreed with her when necessary. About five minutes into the conversation, the dorm door opened and Alice's tinkling, soprano voice sang, "I'm home!"
I went out to greet her. "Hey, Alice. How was –" I froze, taking in the sight of her.
When Alice left for lunch, she was dressed in a chic, sophisticated outfit complete with her new black stilettos and a fashionable coat. When she came back, Alice was covered in food. Literally. Pieces of cake were scattered all over her body, and what looked like crumbs were lost in her now messy, jet black hair. Her clothes were stained in various colors that represented different types of food, and what looked like smeared frosting. All in all, she looked like a total grinning mess.
"What on Earth –?"
Alice giggled and stepped into the room, followed by Jasper, who looked just as messy and disoriented as she did. Except Jasper had it forty times worse.
"Hi, Jasper," I said, willing myself to stare into his bright blue eyes and not somewhere else, like his honey blond hair (which was covered in so much crap I couldn't even begin to explain).
He did his signature stuff – smiled and waved.
I looked back at Alice, but before I could say anything, she quickly said, "Well, I am going to take a shower." She looked at Jasper, smiling like an idiot, and I quickly scurried out of the room to give them their privacy.
I heard the dorm door shut moments later, and entered the living room just in time to see a flushed, overexcited Alice.
"What the hell did you guys do?"
Alice grinned, still in some sort of daze. "Jasper and I had a picnic in the middle of the quad," she said dreamily. I raised an eyebrow at her – pretty public. "Don't worry, Bells," she added. "It was super romantic. We ate and talked, and then I was eating some cupcakes, and then I shoved frosting onto his nose on accident. He laughed and…"
Alice went into one of her famous hardcore explanations about her lunch date with Jasper, her statement of showering forgotten. I did what I usually do – nod and coo when it's necessary while Alice paced around the room doing those weird hand motions. She and Jasper got into some sort of food fight, apparently, which resulted in a huge mess and whatnot.
"When I'm with Jasper" – she tossed her purse carelessly onto the couch and plopped down next to it, sighing happily – "it's like the outside world doesn't exist. Only Jasper and me."
Her words sounded awfully familiar. Like something I'd thought before, except with Edward.
"Do you…do you love him, Ali?" I asked, sitting on the arm of the couch as Rosalie appeared in the room, flipping through some papers with a small frown.
"Yes," she said without hesitation.
Rosalie's eyes immediately snapped up to Alice, momentarily disregarding the papers.
"Does Jasper love you?" Rosalie asked, taking part in the exchange.
Alice shrugged, abruptly looking sad. "I don't know. Sometimes, I think he does. And other times…I just don't know."
I put a hand on her shoulder. "Alice, I'm sure he does. Don't lose hope, alright?"
She nodded, but still looked quite skeptical.
Alice eventually left for her shower, and Rosalie and I went to go kill time. Well, that was actually me. Rosalie was locked in her room – rather than the living room – to finish up the rest of her college applications. She informed me of only one more school to go, which was a relief, since the bags under her eyes and the tiredness in them showed stress.
I was listening to my iPod and flipping through Macbeth when I heard a knock at the door.
Tugging out my earphones and setting the book on the bedside table, I exited my bedroom, but stopped halfway when I realized who was at the door. And who had answered it.
"Alice, I just want – "
"You can't see her," Alice retorted, glaring angrily up at her brother. "What the hell are you even doing here, anyway?"
"I…want to give something to her," Edward replied, sounding like he was coming up with a lie.
Neither of them noticed me.
"Well, give it to me," Alice snapped. "I can be the messenger."
"Alice," Edward said, sounding weary and impatient. "Just let me see Bella."
"No," she said acidly. "Bella is an innocent person, and I refuse to let your arrogance rub off on her."
"Alice, I'm not arrogant," Edward said, scowling. "At least not any –"
"I don't want you here," Alice interrupted. "So leave. Otherwise, give me the damn - "
"Edward?" I said, getting slightly uncomfortable when both of their heads snapped in my direction. "W-What are you doing here?" I asked, stepping even closer to the siblings.
From the new angle I stood at, I could see how Alice's hands were clenched at her side, and how her blue-green eyes were hard with hatred. Edward's jaw was stiff and taut, and he appeared to be refraining himself from yelling at his younger sister.
His emerald green eyes, though, softened when he saw me. And Alice unclenched her fists.
"Bella," Edward said. I could see the corners of his lips twitching in an effort to hide a smile.
I resisted as well, and turned to Alice. "Alice, don't worry about me," I said.
She and I had a staring contest, which eventually resulted in me winning. Alice huffed and grabbed her purse with much more force than necessary.
"Fine," she grumbled, not looking at either of us. "Jasper's taking me out to dinner anyway."
As soon as she was out the door (she'd slammed it shut with a lot more force than needed), Edward crashed his lips to mine, his mouth fervent and eager. I kissed him back (obviously) and wound my fingers in his hair, feeling the soft, auburn locks. One of his hands was on the back of my head, his fingers tangled in my brown hair. His other hand rested lightly on my waist, just above the waistband of my jeans. And the next thing I knew, I was pressed up against the door of my bedroom.
And losing a crapload of oxygen.
I pulled back, gasping for air, while Edward's lips never left my skin. Instead, he gently trailed them along the length of my jaw, his ragged breathing tickling my skin, causing me to giggle. I pulled his lips back to mine, and the kiss was gentle and sweet, much unlike the kiss right before it.
"What," I said breathlessly, pulling away and blushing madly, "did I do to deserve that?"
Edward chuckled and kissed my cheek. "I missed you."
I laughed, and we ungracefully stumbled into my bedroom. I pulled him over to my bed, and we resumed the position we always stayed in – me on his lap, his arms around me while I buried my face in the crook of his neck.
"I saw you earlier today," I said, laughing against the side of his neck.
Edward looked sheepish. "Well, I…" he trailed off, averting his gaze from mine, "I don't like not being with you…" he said softly, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.
Oh Lord. He looked completely and utterly adorable.
I blushed, looking even redder than he did, and mumbled, "Me neither." I instinctively reached for his pale hand, admiring the long fingers for lack of anything better to do. Tracing the lines on the soft palm of his hand, I said, "I don't like it when you're not with me."
He didn't respond, so I looked up from his hand to observe his reaction.
Edward's face was impassive, but his eyes spoke for him. I don't know if it was because of the lighting, or something, or even the angle I was staring at, but his green eyes seemed to be liquidy – even more than before. They were a rich, thick, pool of green, and they smoldered as his gaze locked with mine, as if saying an unheard message. We didn't speak at all after that, just stared at each other until he had to go, for Alice was coming home soon.
It wasn't in a freakish sort of way or anything, but rather…intimate, if you will. Edward occasionally brought his hand up to caress my cheek, and other times, he'd brush his lips against mine, or my forehead, or my hand, never taking his eyes away from me.
I would feel his rough calluses, absentmindedly playing around with his fingers while staring into his eyes. I would also kiss his cheek every now and then, marveling at his flawless facial features. He was so godly and perfect, how did I ever deserve him?
During these quiet moments, I would get those feelings again, those weird, foreign sentiments and emotions that tugged at my chest. It was different, but it felt nice at the same time. Electricity sparked between us, and the connection was so incredibly strong it seemed as if I couldn't look away. I never looked away.
It was slightly strange and unusual, but the silence seemed…right.
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i hope you loved it :D or liked it. somewhat.
good lfuff, ehh? lol. sorry. umm...i THINK this story will be at least 25 chapters...so...well, we'll see. this is buildup right now, which is pretty important. but at the same tiem, cute, right? x_X
drop a review please :D