A.N. I don't really have much to say here. Enjoy! :)
Chapter Eighteen – Scream
It had been five weeks already. Not two, not three. Five. Iruka began to panic.
Where was he?.! Had something messed up, so badly, he would never… NO! He will, he will come back, just give him time, baka!, Iruka scolded himself.
Izumo and Kotetsu might have been the only ones knowing the details, but by now all of Konoha knew Hatake Kakashi was in a relationship with Umino Iruka (And had no problem with that although Iruka always wondered if it was because Konoha was happy for them both or was simply afraid of Kakashi). So no one asked Iruka why he was uncharacteristically gloomy – they all noticed the missing of the well known tall silver headed jounin, walking around the village hidden behind a bright orange book.
His class noticed too. Not the missing Copy Nin, but how that affected their teacher. His children were all quiet and behaved, not arguing even once when Iruka drowned them in tests and tons of homework (which he then had to grade, making himself preoccupied).
"Sensei?"
Iruka looked up to see a little smiling face. An all too knowing smile for a child…
"Yes, Kita chan?"
"He will be back. The man with the mask, who picks you up after school…"
Iruka gulped dryly.
"How do you know?", he whispered, shocked.
She grinned. "I am a girl, Iruka sensei, we know all!"
Not even realizing it, Iruka smiled for the first time in weeks.
The next day was Saturday. No classes, but a big pile of homework to grade. Good. Iruka sat with his back to the couch, a mug with coffee in his hand…. Something was missing. His head turned to the couch. Not something. Someone. A certain Copy Nin lounging there…
Iruka decided it was no good – he couldn't focus on grading right now, like that. He knew Kotetsu and Izumo had Gate Guard Duty today, so he decided to take a walk.
Izumo's eyes went big and round when he saw his long time friend. "Ruka? What are you doing here?"
"Visiting my best friends?", he frowned.
"Don't you have better things to do?", Kotetsu joined.
"Like what? Guys, what the…?"
"But I thought…", Kotetsu shook his head. "Ruka, Kakashi just came back."
Iruka's world spun. Back? But where was he? Hospital…?
"How bad…?", he started.
"Exhausted. Pretty beaten up, but nothing serious. He was walking on his two feet, although a bit too slowly…", Izumo said as if reading a record. That changed when he added, concern now in his voice: "Ruka, where do you think…?"
Iruka had an idea where and why, only had to confirm if. He waved goodbye to his friends and ran through Konoha.
In all the time they had been together Iruka had never been in Kakashi's apartment. But he knew where it was alright…
He hesitated only for a second before leaping to the windowsill and slowly entering the place. In the moment he set foot on the floor a kunai was pressed to his neck, his hands twisted behind his back. Iruka froze. He had been right about Kakashi's reasons. Now he only had to calm down his lover.
"Kakashi… it is me… Iruka". No reaction, the blade didn't move an inch, the vice grip on his arms tightened. "It's Ruka… Your Ruka… Listen to my voice, Kashi… I'm the one who'll make you yakitori as soon as you drop the kunai… I'm the one who'll sleep right next to you in bed tonight… on the left… I'm the one who bought you that absurd melon scented lube you love so much… It's me, Kashi love, your Ruka… put the kunai down, love…"
He heard the gasp and knew he made it. The grip loosened, the kunai hit the floor… and so did Kakashi. Iruka turned around immediately, kneeling next to him. Kakashi was in ANBU gear, only the mask was removed; Iruka knew it – if Kakashi had ever really given up the Black Ops, he was back now. Oh, he was pretty beaten up and his chakra was lowered to a minimum level. He didn't meet Iruka's gaze and Iruka felt his own eyes watering.
"Talk to me please!", Iruka begged.
Kakashi lowered his head even more. That's when Iruka's resolve returned.
"Alright… I'll talk", he said determinedly, still waiting for Kakashi to look at him, not taking his eyes off him. "I know why you came here. You hate hospitals, so when you saw you were not outright dying you decided to simply come here. You came here and not my place… because you were afraid you'd hurt me."
Kakashi finally looked up, not in Iruka's eyes, but he lifted his head. Iruka took it as a good sign.
"After all A and S-ranks, especially the longer ones, all shinobi need some time to return to normal after they get back home. You were still in mission mode, not thinking straight, and were terrified not to hurt me, even in your weaken state. Kakashi, you could barely stand when I got here and you were afraid you'd hurt me if you came right home to me?"
Still not looking at him, Kakashi whispered hoarsely "An ANBU fights to kill until they themselves die…", Kakashi's voice trailed.
"There's more, isn't it?", Iruka asked, knowingly. "Shinobi being still in mission mode tend to… relieve tension differently. Some could break every bone in the nearest person's body, even if it's their loved one's, without even realizing it. Other… could practically rape said closest body, again not realizing it."
A pause.
"That's what you were afraid of, isn't it? That you'd hurt me in that way…before you've come out of mission mode, and not even realizing what your body is doing to mine…"
Silence. Then…
"I can't foresee my actions. I can't control my body in these moments and my mind, my soul is … somewhere else… I can't risk hurting you in any way. Any way! … Not you… Not... not EVER again!"
Iruka smiled gently and lifted Kakashi's chin till their eyes met. "Listen to me now. Before… all was different. Let's make a deal now. I promise to stop you this time, if you ever try to hurt me while you're in mission mode. And now you know that I can! And you'll promise me that, with the promise I just made, you'd come home immediately, to me, and not hiding here!"
A pause again. Then Kakashi gave a tiny nod.
"Say it!", Iruka demanded. "Promise me!"
"I promise."
"Good. Now let's take you to the bed.", Iruka said.
He decided Kakashi wasn't going to take it well if they went through a transportation jutsu right now, to move to his apartment, so he led the Copy Nin to his own bedroom. Iruka then laid Kakashi gently down, not missing the frown, and moved to stand up. A hand reached up and pulled him back down. He stared questioningly at his lover.
"Ruka… please look into my eyes… and tell me if I'm still in mission mode."
Iruka sighed. "Kashi love… you came out of it as soon as you dropped the kunai."
"So I'm not? And you see it? You're sure?"
"Yes.", Iruka frowned a bit.
Kakashi gulped dryly.
"Ruka, I need you. I need you so much right now… To feel home again. Be back to normal sooner…Feel like myself, feel your skin again… Please… Help me... warm me…"
"Kashi…", Iruka's eyes filled with tears again. "You are fully conscious now, that's true, but your body won't… You won't handle me taking you and you're not strong enough to take me…"
Kakashi gulped again, now not braking the eye contact.
"Ride me."
Iruka's eyes widened. They'd never done it so far. It was another form of control on Iruka's side, but he knew Kakashi trusted him enough – he had given himself to him! But now… Kakashi was so weak… But… that desperate look…
"Please… Help me… Warm me…"
"Be one with me again… please…", Kakashi begged.
Oh, Kami…
"Okay… slowly…", Iruka whispered shakily.
(A.N. Your Humble Author humbly recommends you some music for the background: Bless The Fall – With eyes wide shut)
Very tentatively, Iruka started with unwrapping each of Kakashi's leg wrappings. Then he removed the sandals… and hesitated again; their eyes meeting now again. Not breaking the eye contact, Kakashi's hands moved to remove the white ANBU vest, but Iruka stopped him.
"Let me…"
Kakashi only nodded, his eyes – lost and searching their escape in Iruka's. Iruka gulped – Kakashi hadn't looked that vulnerable even when he was being taken by Iruka.
Iruka removed the white vest, with the help of Kakashi's cooperative body, which moved the way it had to in order to get rid of its clothes. Same thing happened to the black sleeveless ANBU shirt and Kakashi was then laying in his bed in only the black ANBU pants. Iruka decided it was time his own body got rid of its clothes.
He moved away from Kakashi standing right before the bed and making quite the show for the Copy Nin with slowly undressing himself. Not being on duty on Saturday, he wore jeans and a simple white shirt. The shirt went first, Kakashi going crazy with each slowly unbuttoned button, each button revealing more and more tanned skin. Finally the offensive piece of clothing was gone and Kakashi gulped. Over the hem of Iruka's jeans, hanging lowly on his hips, he could see the hem of one of Iruka's tight black boxers – he had far too many of those, knowing perfectly well their affect on Kakashi. The jeans pooled around Iruka's ankles and he stepped out of them, standing now only those Tight Black Boxers. Kakashi swallowed dryly. Iruka then bent a little, pulling out something from the pocket of his jeans and tossing it on the bed. Before Kakashi could ask what it was, with one swift move, Iruka pulled down his boxers.
Kakashi had some problems with breathing. Never in his life so far had he allowed himself the urge not to take, but to be taken. Ever before Iruka he had only been seme, never wanting to be on the bottom. But Iruka did something to him. With him Kakashi wanted equally to give and to take, to take and be taken, to just hold that amazing body with its warm tanned skin, and to know that not only that that body and its soul, that Iruka was his, but he also was Iruka's.
Iruka's hands quickly and skillfully removed Kakashi's pants and boxers – again with one single move. Iruka straddled him and looked him the eyes, thoughtfully. Kakashi didn't bother hiding his emotions like he did with everyone else, even his friends. But not with Iruka. All of it – desperation, frustration, pure and simple need – all was there in those mismatched eyes. But now there was also one more thing, one very important thing for Iruka – pure and astonishingly strong love. Iruka smiled gently and grabbed the item he had tossed on the bed before. Now Kakashi saw it too and a shadow of a smile bloomed on his face. It was Kakashi's favorite melon scented lube.
Iruka grabbed Kakashi's right hand and the Copy Nin was surprised to feel some of the liquid on his own fingers. Still smiling, Iruka moved Kakashi's hand to his (Iruka's) entrance. One… then two… then three fingers slid in Iruka's heat. Slowly… Gently… Then-… Iruka's face twisted blissfully and he moaned, his tanned body swaying in trance above the pale one – Kakashi's fingers had found his special place. One… then two… then three more strokes there.
"Enough…!", Iruka moaned, removing Kakashi's hand and quickly lubing the Copy Nin's hard member; Kakashi bit his bottom lip. Iruka bent forward his head, his ass moving up, taking the position right above Kakashi's shaft. Iruka smiled again and kissed him – their first kiss that night, then dropped the lower half of his body, sheathing Kakashi's member to the hilt with that one single move. They both moaned, almost cried into the kiss, and simply stilled, only then breaking their lips' contact, but still hovering millimeters close to each other. They stared into each other's faces.
"Ru… A-are you…", Kakashi started, his voice strained.
"I'm ok…", Iruka nodded.
"You're n-not… in pain?", Kakashi insisted.
"N-no, just… intense…", Iruka managed. The feeling was indeed too intense, the time they had been separated – too long, their bodies craving each other.
"I have to…", Iruka started, then changed his mind and asked "And you? Are you in pain? Your injuries…"
"I am… too good right now, Ruka", Kakashi smiled. "Whenever you're ready, love…"
Iruka nodded, slightly smiling, then his body rose up until only the tip of Kakashi's member was still in him. Kakashi's sharp intake of breath made him look down again and Iruka's eyes were asking, searching. Kakashi's mind knew only one word then: "Please…"
Iruka lowered himself again, slowly this time. Kakashi's eyes closed, but between the parted lips came a shaky "Yes…". Iruka moved up again and Kakashi took another deep breath, as if he was suffocating. Iruka frowned, concerned.
"Kashi?"
"Intense…", Kakashi only said, but Iruka didn't need anything more. He understood completely.
Iruka began a slow, steady rhythm. Quick rising and a slow descending. Kakashi's hands, now on Iruka's thighs, gripped him tighter, their breath hitching, they were both panting hard. Iruka moved a bit to change the angle and almost immediately screamed with pleasure – that position allowed Kakashi to go deeper, to hit harder that tiny spot…
"Kami!.!.!", Iruka screamed, stars and white spots dancing before his eyes; he began riding Kakashi in earnest. Kakashi only grunted, lips tightly pursed, as always trying to keep his own screams, his neck arched and his head buried deep into the pillow, his body also arching up, his feet digging into the sheets, his toes curling…
"Ka-Kashi, please… You have to… let it go, love… Come on,… scream with me… Screeeeeaaaammmm!.!.!.!.!"
Iruka screamed the last part, his orgasm hitting him hard, taking Kakashi with him… And they were both screaming wordlessly, loudly, desperately, lost in each other, and the feeling was so intense, so blindingly strong…
They both passed out right away, Kakashi still in Iruka and Iruka collapsing on top of him.
This time Iruka woke first, an hour later. He opened his eyes and smiled, acknowledging the situation they were in. He moved cautiously, wincing when Kakashi slid out of him. Iruka moved to Kakashi's left side, supporting himself on an elbow to look at Kakashi's peaceful face – he hadn't even stirred when Iruka had moved.
This time it was Iruka's turn to smile dreamily and to whisper "I love you…", before snuggling closer to his love…
A.N. Ssssooooo? :P