Disclaimer: I own nothing... nah, sorry, I do! - Aarif's all mine (maniacal laughter):P
A/N: Thanks should go to everyone who made it to this chapter! As I promised once, I never forget about a story, and I fully intend on finishing this one, as well as the others. It just takes some time.
PLEASE NOTE that all the events in this chapter are fictional and are only intended to serve the literary purposes of this story.
Hope you enjoy:)
Thanks for the lovely reviews, and thank you, Lyra! You made me feel so proud! :) And thank you, ZA ZA zoom, for making me get myself together and post this update:)
'... and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep...'
Pablo Neruda
'What's the name again?' the medical receptionist narrowed her eyes facing the computer.
'Rory Mariano,' Jess answered quickly, frustration making its way through his voice.
He looked impatiently from side to side. The hospital was buzzing with people. Ambulance sirens and urgent voices, carried from the emergency entrance. Two women laughing to his left, while making their way through the sliding exit doors. Probably nurses, just finished another shift. A couple of doctors hurrying in the corridors. An orderly pushing a wheelchair towards the elevator. A teenager stretching bubble gum next to the small decorative fountain. Some kid playing on his dad's iPhone next to the coffee machine.
Jess' mouth was dry and he felt sick.
'And you are...?' the receptionist looked up, a nearly helpful mixture of boredom and politeness.
'Her husband.'
Fuck, his mouth was really dry. He licked a lip.
Then there it was. The look. The receptionist gave him a look that contained a tad more pity than Jess was ready to bear.
Don't panic. Don't fucking panic.
Jess refused to panic. Or at least he told himself so.
'I'm her husband,' he repeated desperately, 'I need to see her. Rory Mariano...'
'Yeah,' the receptionist cut in. Then, almost friendly, 'I'll make a call. Please wait in this corridor until doctor Cohen comes and gives you some more detail...'
The words started to dissolve into Jess' mind, like watercolors washing away with cold water. He felt dizzy. He didn't remember going into the long corridor, but he found himself pacing to and fro in the narrow space. There were lamps. Yellow. Sickeningly yellow, blurring his vision. Or maybe it wasn't the lights. He didn't know. He didn't know anything at all. He didn't know what to think, he didn't remember how to think. He didn't feel able to process anything else than sickeningly bright yellow lights in a narrow corridor. His steps, thumping evenly against the linoleum floor. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. A heartbeat. Her heartbeat against his earlobe when he let her hug him like a little boy. He stopped.
He felt empty. For the first time in his life, he didn't feel anything else than blind, desperate hope.
He started walking again, pacing from one end of the narrow corridor to the other, holding on to the single discernible thing in his universe right now - hope.
72 hours earlier
'Jess,' Rory's voice carried from the dining room.
'I know, I'll have the toaster fixed, just gimme a sec,' Jess answered from the bedroom while trying to shimmy into his sweatpants one-handedly.
'Jess, you have to see this,' Rory's voice came more urgent than usual, which made Jess leave the notepad with his scribble to the side and slide into the pants two-handedly.
When he entered the dining room, Rory was standing stiffly before the TV, her hand was closed around the remote.
'What's up?' Jess stifled a yawn. Then, concern surfacing, 'Ror?'
He stepped closer and his gaze drifted between his wife and the TV. Rory turned the volume up which drew Jess' attention to the newsflash onscreen.
'... about the rising conflict with the Middle East. Now we're heading towards the White House, where the press secretary is ready to make a statement...'
'Aarif was right,' Rory mumbled, her eyes meeting Jess'.
He stood numbly, watching as a group of long-bearded men was burning the American national flag onscreen.
...
Jess opened the door and paused on the doorstep.
'Aarif,' he acknowledged rather than exclaimed.
He wasn't really surprised. He expected Aarif to show up at some point. That's what Aarif did. Showed up. He emerged and then disappeared from Jess' life, just to show up uninvited again. It's just what the guy did. It was like he was constantly hesitating between being and not being around.
His shoulder looked better. Much better, in Jess' opinion. Not that it was his concern. Aarif wasn't his concern anymore, Jess reminded himself.
'Is there somewhere we could talk?' Aarif asked, his dark vivid eyes searching Jess'.
...
'I want you to go to Lorelai's.'
'No.'
Jess inhaled and exhaled slowly.
'Rory...'
She crossed her arms before her chest, meeting his look openly.
'I'm not leaving you alone here,' she insisted.
Jess let out a frustrated sigh.
'That's insane.'
'I am insane, you love me for it.'
Jess' patience was about to drain soon. He made a deliberately long pause before he replied, his words chosen carefully, the look on his face dead serious.
'I'd still love you if you didn't hang out around terrorists.'
'I'm not going anywhere,' she shook her head stubbornly. 'I have to keep an eye on my husband,' she added, a trace of sadness tracing her voice, 'so that he doesn't get in too far saving the nation.'
'This is wrong,' Jess shook his head wearily. 'This is just... wrong.'
Rory made a step forward, uncrossing her arms, reaching out a palm to cup his face.
'Then we make it right, okay?' she smiled tenderly.
He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes.
...
Jess rested his forehead against hers. Aarif was outside, waiting. Jess refused to let him in. As if keeping him out of the apartment would mean keeping that man away from Rory, keeping her safe out of all this. Rory knew better than to press things, so she had just exchanged a nod with Aarif at the door. Something like a quiet agreement.
She wanted Aarif to know that Jess had forgiven him, though it would take time to show. She also wanted him to know that she wasn't giving him her man, she was just... lending him. Until all of this (whatever it was they were up to), was over. Then, Jess was gonna be summoned back home, no nation saving activities, no CNN worth conspiracy cracking. Only shopping groceries and painting the walls of the spare room. She wanted Aarif to know all that, and, somehow, she had a feeling he did.
'I need you to promise me something,' Jess kept her face between his palms.
Rory looked up, her brows furrowing. He was so serious. He looked sad and serious. And pleading. She nodded. How could she deny anything he asked?
'Wait here,' he breathed out, 'No phone calling, no texting, no setting out to look for me. Just... wait for me till I come back... okay?'
'Jess...'
'Promise me,' his eyes were burning hers, the intensity of his plead making her feel dizzy. How could she not obey?
Rory felt a pang of concern rocket through her body, but nodded anyway.
'Okay. I promise.'
Jess closed his eyes tight and placed a kiss on her forehead.
'I love you,' he whispered. 'You have no idea.'
'I do,' she closed her eyes. 'And I love you.'
They stood still for a few moments, foreheads touching, hearts pounding, before she stepped back and wiped her eyes.
'Come on, before this starts to sound like a goodbye,' she smiled and licked a lip, tasting salt. ' It's... it's not a goodbye, right?'
'It's not a goodbye.'
She nodded, her smile growing, forcing herself to be calm.
'Okay. Be safe, Jess.'
'Be safe, Ror.'
...
73 hours later
Jess lifted his head and looked at his reflection. The water was still running and he rinsed his face, letting the cold drops roll down his skin. His reflection looked surreal. He never thought he'd have to witness his own breakdown in a hospital bathroom with cold water running down his hands. Maybe because he wouldn't. He couldn't break now, not just now. Because it was one of those times when he couldn't leave. He stopped the tap.
'Hey,' he stepped from foot to foot awkwardly before gathering the courage to take the chair beside her bed.
Rory turned to look at him wearily. She was in one of those hospital gowns and had a wide cut over her eyebrow, a superhero cut, as they would refer to it, had the circumstances been different. Her cheek was swollen and had started to bruise. He didn't dare reach out to touch it. He was afraid of what he had to say.
'I...' Jess licked a lip, feeling his voice weak. 'I talked to the doctors. Word is you're gonna jump out of bed in a couple of days.'
His voice died, as if he had just small amounts of strength that drained out in a sentence time. He had to gather up courage for each next word.
He swallowed dryly and reached for Rory's hand. Blood rushed into his head, clouding his mind.
'Ror...'
'I know,' she said flatly and her eyes met his. Blue. Cold, icy blue. She'd never seemed so distant. 'I feel it.'
He lifted her hand and pressed his lips against the bruised skin of her knuckles. He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back the swirl of emotions, holding on to her slender fingers.
Promise me.
Okay. I promise.
She didn't wait home for him, though. She got a phone call telling her her husband was in danger and she didn't stand a chance. She set out to save him. It was an awful mistake. It ended up with his lovely pregnant wife falling off a burning train. The train on which he should've been. He should've been the one attached to this monitor, not her. It was all a nightmare. Bloody nightmare.
When he opened his eyes again, she wasn't looking at him anymore, but was facing away, a faraway look in her eyes.
'Rory... say something. Please.'
She didn't even turn to look at him. Suddenly, her hand felt stiff between his palms. Distant. Like she weren't here, like she hadn't just lost a child. Like he hadn't just shared this loss. Like he weren't there at all. And then, the thought struck him. She didn't want him there. She didn't want him by her bed, in her hospital room. In her grief. She didn't want him around. And right there, this very second, Jess Mariano's world ended. Like someone kicked the air out of his lungs. For a short moment time stood still, realization dawning, enveloping him in its numb wake. Then the moment was over, the sound of her pulse from the monitor breaking through the silence within his head. She was alive. She was still there. Maybe it was the last thing she wanted right now, but so was he. He was there.
A/N: Dear reader(s), I know you pretty much don't have a clue what just happened, especially what the specifics about Rory's accident are. In telegraphic style, after Jess left, she got a call that made her break their agreement and she got herself in some trouble, ending with this accident. I aimed for some mystery touch here and am well aware I most probably left you asking 'what the...' at the end of this chapter. Plus, it would be real cool if I was a writer good enough to get the events through my sole writing and not through an author's note, but oh well... Anyway, I solemnly promise to shed some light on the events, all in the next chapter. Bear with me, maybe? :) If you drop a word (good, bad, any), that would be more than I could ask for :)