When I get home from work, I consider going over to Sam's. Maybe one date a week isn't enough. It's not just the kissing and stuff, I like talking to her. But I should probably change first and maybe shower, too, since it's kind of hot out.
I'm startled when I go in the living room and see her, without Val. And Mom and Tony are sitting on the couch, her looking worried, him looking stern. Sam looks tense.
"What's going on?"
"Have a seat," Tony says gruffly, so I take the one by the kitchen.
Is this some sort of family conference? Where's Grandma? Did something happen to Grandma? And what about Val?
"What's wrong?"
Tony snorts like I've asked the world's stupidest question.
Mom says, "Jonathan, we've heard a rumor about you and Samantha."
I glance over at Sam. I wonder how long she's been here, how long they've all been waiting for me to come home. Did they grill her first, or wait to grill us together?
"What rumor?" I ask. Did the Harpers tell them about seeing us at the movies? Why would that upset them? They knew we were going, and even if the Harpers had seen us holding hands, which they didn't, Mom and Tony aren't that puritanical. And other than that, we haven't done anything since we've started dating! Well, yeah, hugging and kissing, but that was mostly in the privacy of Sam's apartment, so how would anyone know? And again, I don't think Tony and Mom would be that shocked. Hell, they did more than that in public in Jamaica, in front of us and a busload of tourists!
Mom looks too embarrassed to answer and Tony too angry. Then Sam asks, "Who's spreading gossip about us?" So she must not know much more than I do about this.
Mom quietly says, "Joanne Parker."
Oh. I wonder if Mrs. Harper told Mrs. Parker about seeing us at the movies. And then maybe Mrs. Parker said something about seeing me and Sam visit us each other so much last summer. I mean, she wouldn't have seen anything that out of the ordinary, but I know she doesn't need much to build gossip on.
"What did that nosy bitch say?" Sam demands.
Instead of scolding Sam for swearing (it's not like anyone in the family doesn't think Mrs. Parker is a nosy bitch), Tony hoarsely says, "I'll tell you what she said. She said you and Jonathan were driving around town with a carful of condoms!"
"She's crazy!" Sam says, but I don't say anything. I'm remembering something that Sam hardly thought about at the time.
"Or maybe her daughter is. She's the one who saw them in the car—and it better not have been my Jeep—when you guys came up to the drive-through window at McDonald's."
"Oh," Sam says quietly and looks at me.
"Shannon Parker. I told you I went to high school with her."
"So it's true!"
"Well, yeah, Tony, but it's not like it sounds. It wasn't a carful of condoms. It was just two dozen and I accidentally took them out of Sam's purse when we were paying."
Sam shakes her head like I'm making things worse.
"Oh, pardon me, only two dozen! And, Samantha, why exactly did you have twenty-four condoms in your purse?"
"Well, Dad, Angela's doctor gave them to me."
"Dr. Hollis?" Mom whispers in shock.
"Um, yeah. After I told her my safe sex concerns, because Hank was unfaithful. Well, I didn't know at the time that he didn't technically cheat on me."
"EXCUSE ME?" Tony shouts.
Sam sighs. "They just necked before he left me. Or so he said. But I didn't know that till later, when he came to ask me to take him back, because he found out I was pregnant."
Poor Mom looks like she's got a headache from trying to keep track of all this. I remember that it wasn't just our fling that we didn't tell them about last year.
"You wouldn't take him back when all he did was neck?"
"Not everyone can be as forgiving as Angela."
Tony now looks embarrassed as well as angry. "You know that I didn't break a vow to Angela, not a spoken one anyway. And I have regretted that night and the months after ever since. Anyway, that's not my point. You let me think that Hank cheated on you."
"Well, that's what he let me think at first. And he was, still is, in love with her, Dad, so what does it matter anyway?"
"Can we please get back to the subject of you and Jonathan?" Mom pleads.
"If you want," Sam mutters.
"So, Dr. Hollis knew that you were interested in Jonathan?"
"Um, well, yeah. Don't get mad at her though."
"I'm not," Mom says, as if she understands about doctor-patient confidentiality, although she still looks hurt that her doctor kept Sam's secret.
"So who else did you tell besides her and Mona?" We all look at Tony, me and Sam in surprise, Mom in annoyance. "Uh, I mean, um."
"So, Dad, you knew and you put me and Jonathan through this trial? Why not just come right out and say, 'I know about your fling last summer'?"
"FLING?!"
"Mother said it was one time," Mom whispers.
Now Sam looks embarrassed. "Well, I guess it depends how you define your terms," she says quietly.
"It wasn't exactly a one-night stand. We kissed and held hands for a few weeks, and then we made out once, and then, um, we spent the night together." I consider saying we had sex three times in twelve hours, but that might sound like I'm bragging. Besides, I don't think either of them wants that much information.
"Yeah, in your room, huh, Jonathan?"
"Well, yeah." I don't know why Grandma had to tell them that, or why that's any worse than if it had been elsewhere. I mean, it's not like it was in the kitchen or mom's office! It was my space, not theirs.
"Samantha," Mom says, and for the first time there's a coldness in her voice, "how do you define your terms? Is there a reason why you decided to have a fling with my then virginal 18-year-old son, rather than an actual relationship?"
"Or no involvement at all," Tony mutters.
"Well, um, you know, I was pregnant and going through a divorce. I was very confused. And you know, I usually rush into things emotionally. Like with Jesse and Matt and Hank. Even with Eric, I thought at first I might be in love."
"Who's Eric?" I try to recall him from the long list of Sam's boyfriends.
"You know," Sam tells me, "Walter's grandson."
"Who's Walter?"
"Walter Nordstrom," Mom says, "the man Mother almost married before she met your grandfather."
"Oh, Eric!" Now I remember him. Sam was in her junior year and I was a freshman. They didn't date long but I remember everyone thought Eric was just wonderful. And I remember walking in on him and Sam kissing on the couch and I resorted to sarcasm because I was jealous and that was how I always dealt with it. And he told me if I was lucky I'd meet a girl like Sam, so I said something sarcastic again and then left the room.
I look over at Sam and I can see that she's remembering that, too, maybe for the first time seeing it with hindsight, understanding what I was going through. We smile at each other.
"So you figured you'd just take Jonathan to bed with no emotional involvement?" Mom's accusation snaps our attention back to her.
"It wasn't like that. It wasn't that it was just physical. It was more that we didn't make any promises to each other. I was going through a lot and I couldn't make a commitment to him. I didn't want to make the same mistake I always did of getting too attached."
"So why now?" Tony demands. "Why have the fling and then almost a year later date and 'take it slow'?"
"We got attached," I say quietly. "But we're, um, we're not, um."
"We're not in love. But we do have feelings. We're special to each other. And we do feel bad about how we did things last year. It was the wrong decision. We thought we could start fresh, try to be honest this time. With ourselves, with you."
"Yeah, you were real honest with us," Tony spits out. "Pretending you've never touched each other before!"
"I'm sorry, Dad. I guess we were afraid that if we told you, you wouldn't believe us about our involvement now."
"You're damn right I wouldn't believe you. Goddamn it, Sam! How many times have you betrayed my trust and then said, 'I'm sorry, Dad, it won't happen again'? And guess what? It happens again!"
"Let me think, Dad. I guess three times. I snuck out of the house to see Todd after he gave me the hickey and then I confessed to you. I almost cheated on a test and then I confessed to you and my teacher."
"Yeah, because you got caught both times! Would you have even said anything about having sex with Jonathan, no, I'm sorry, a fling with Jonathan, if Joanne Parker weren't gossiping about you?"
Sam and I look at each other and I'm the one who answers, "Probably not."
Sam says, "What should we have done, Dad?"
"Never touched each other to begin with!"
"I mean after we had. When you stormed in here, jet-lagged, sleepless, and furious, would you have liked me to have said, 'Oh, by the way, Dad, one reason I didn't take Hank back is because I had a fling with Jonathan and I ended up liking him better in every way'?"
I can't help it, I grin at her. "You thought that back then?"
"You dork! Why the hell else would I be going through this? I could've gone to the movies with Julia if I just wanted companionship."
"You should've told us," Mom says quietly. "Maybe not the very first day we came back from Italy, but soon after that. You two were sneaky and dishonest. And that, even more than your physical involvement, is what hurts."
"Yeah, that's not how we raised you!"
Sam and I can't help it, we laugh.
Tony looks at Mom in disbelief. "They think this is funny!"
"I think it's that we raised them both, they grew up in the same household."
"Yeah, hilarious. OK, listen, I thought this thing was weird and disturbing from the beginning, but you kids seemed so mature and considerate about it, I didn't know how to say no. But now that I know the truth, I can't let this continue. You two are not to date each other anymore. And if I find out you're sneaking around again, that's it, you're both outahere!"
I expect Mom to protest, but instead she says, "Maybe Jonathan should leave anyway."
"I can't go back to Cambridge!" For one thing, I want to transfer to Yale, and for another, I can't face Susan and everyone now that all this has happened. Besides which, I don't want to go anywhere yet. It's not just about Sam. I want to be with the whole family. I'd rather stay here and get yelled at than have to leave. Not to mention I don't know what I'd tell my boss at Radio Shack.
"Look, Val and I can move out, get an apartment with Bonnie or something. She likes babies. Jonathan shouldn't have to go."
"That's not what I mean, Samantha," Mom says. "I'm not kicking either of you out permanently. But I do think under the circumstances, it would be best to send Jonathan away for the rest of the summer."
Tony looks at her and nods. "Michael's?"
She nods, too. "I think it's for the best.
"You're sending me to Dad's?" I feel like I'm a little kid with no say in the matter. Except when I was a little kid, it was exciting to take my rare trips to California to visit Dad. But I don't know if I can argue about this. After all, they're right, we did lie to them, and we have lost their trust. And I don't know, maybe I should take a break from this situation, especially if Tony won't let me date Sam anymore.
Mom says, "I'll call him tonight."
Grandma storms in from the kitchen, with a crying baby in her arms. "Angela, have you flipped your lid?"