I do not own Gravity Falls.
Pretty sure this is the last Pines Family Christmas I'll do. Finding words in the last stretch of the alphabet to fit the theme was hard, ha ha.
Prompt: Underwear
What I Don't Want For Christmas
Stan had a strong appreciation for material items, especially cold hard cash. He knew this and wasn't ashamed of it. It wasn't important in life, and he loved his family above all else. Money was simply the second thing he loved most in life. Growing up in a household that often struggled to meet ends with a father who was a notorious cheapskate meant he hardly had an allowance or got what he wanted. It was why he was determined not to spend his hard-earned fortune recklessly.
He would always remember the Christmases he had as a kid, spotting the modest pile of brightly-wrapped gifts under the tree. It was the one time of year Ford got his fancy science sets and he received race cars and wrestlers. But once they hit a certain age, the presents dwindled, their father deeming them too old and their mother having no choice but to comply. Every Christmas after they turned ten, they got three gifts each.
There was only one gift Stan received every single year, since the day he was born until the day his father kicked him out.
Underwear.
Peeling back the Santa Claus wrapping paper, only to see black briefs in place of a shiny new toy was disappointing as a child. He resigned himself to it as a teenager, wrinkling his nose at the plastic packaging of underwear. He tried arguing the point with his father, that underwear was not a gift, it was a necessity, and necessities shouldn't be considered Christmas presents.
It was an argument Stan never one, and while spending many decades letting Christmas pass by left him feeling lonely and depressed, he was content by one fact. He wouldn't be receiving any more bundles of bargain boxers.
It wasn't that he was ungrateful. His parents had done their best to give them good Christmases when they were children. When they got older, there simply wasn't enough extra money to keep it up. But he didn't understand why one of his gifts, every year, had to be underwear.
Stan would grudgingly, silently admit that perhaps he had inherited some aspects of Filbrick Pines' personality (aspects that he tried not to dwell on). But he refused to ever give underwear as a Christmas present. So when Dipper and Mabel spent their first Christmas in Gravity Falls, there was not a single package of underwear to be seen.
And this year, when Dipper happened to hear his great-uncle's rant on why underwear was not Christmas present, he immediately went out without Stan's knowledge and bought him a Christmas gift. A packet of candy-cane decorated underwear.
Dipper knows Stan is really going to lay into him for this stunt, but the look on his face will be more than enough of a reward.