(A/N) WOOT WOOT! Another chapter out! Well I'm getting really into this story. All my other stories have been suffering! Poor them. I haven't updated them in months. :( I'm a horrible author. My poor little neglected stories. I can't belive we already have Twenty chapters. Its still got a long way to go till its over but please stick with me.

So Read and Review. Can't wait to see what you all think.

~Love Like always, Maacha!

*Bella's POV*

I yawned as I finished my last story. My stomach gave a loud rumble and I looked around to see if anyone else had heard it. This was the first time I had ever talked to anyone about my past. About my homes. About my parents. About cutting myself. Thinking about the last story I told my stomach was screaming it was hungry but my mind showed signs of throwing anything that I ate right back up. I looked around at the Cullen's that had gathered around me. Alice had sat up sometime during my story, and looked like she was about to go into shock, Jacob looked angry, maybe he was mad at those people for what they did to me, and Emmett looked like a child staring at flashing lights, enthralled was the word I had learned for that kind of feeling. All of them had their eyes locked on me. My stomach gave another growl and I noticed Jacob getting up.

"Lets get something to eat before the next one." He gave me a half-smile, like he pitied me. I didn't want his pity. Maybe that's why I never talked about this kind of stuff.

"Yeah you haven't eaten all day." Alice chimed in standing from the bed. Jacob held out a hand to help me up, but I refused, standing up on my own. My legs wobbled and I found myself grabbing his hand anyways. The thoughts of the blood and, well the brains, still imprinted on my mind. I couldn't shake that feeling.

"Come on Bella." I felt two big hands scoop me up from under my arms and I was tossed over the persons shoulder. Emmett's shoulder. He raced from my room and down the hall. "FOOD!"

"What the hells going on!" I heard Edward yell as our group ran past and into the kitchen. I felt myself being put down and Alice and Jacob where standing guard duty, making sure none of the others tried to follow to our privet party. Edward came anyways. "What's going on?"

"Edward this is an A B conversation." Alice chimed pointing to herself and me. "So C your way out of it before I get D and E to F you up."

On the D and E part she pointed at Emmett and Jacob. Edward stood shocked for a moment that his sister would say something like that to him. After a moment he stormed off back to the living room.

"Wow Alice." Emmett beamed at her giving her a pat on the back as she walked by. "Way to go!"

"Here." Alice smiled at me, ignoring Emmett's childish ways. She grabbed the phone and began dialing a number. "What would you like?"

"Huh?" I asked stunned for a second.

"Pizza Bella." She smiled at me waving the phone. "Yes, I would like a delivery to 342 Allen Rd. Key Landing Apartments, Pent house in building two. Yeah it'll ring automatically when the elevator hit's the top. I want- Bella?"

"Um, I don't know." I answered honestly.

"Three meat! Three meat!" Emmett began bouncing up and down.

"Three meat." I agreed with a smile to her.

"Three large three meat Pizza's." She smiled as she gave the order. Emmett stopped bouncing and pumped his fist in the air with an exaggerated, yes! She hung up and lifted herself, so she could sit on the countertop. "I'll be here in less than thirty."

"Awesome." Emmett smiled taking a seat at one of the bar stools. I took a seat beside him and Jacob sat beside me.

"So how many other homes did you have?" Alice asked curiously.

"Umm. Well I had one after that, that lasted a year and a half, then another one that only lasted two months. I was twelve by the time I had another home. Then there was a temporary stay at an orphanage for like two years before they thought I was unsafe around those kids. Then like four more after that and then this one." I counted the years in my head. Most of that time had been spent isolated or in the hospital.

"How many suicide attempts?" Emmett had that look on his face again. Like he was staring at flashing lights.

"Forty two this year, Thirty six last year, twenty-nine the year before that, sixteen before that, and five before that. Before then it was just small cuts, not real attempts." I counted the numbers in my head. I had been growing increasingly dangerous to myself.

"Real attempts?" Alice asked slightly confused. I guess she thought the cutting where real attempts.

"The last stay I sliced my neck." I pointed to the slight scar. "Before that It was running out into traffic, in front of speeding cars, trying to hang myself, running onto the tracks in the subway, sitting on railroad tracks, jumping off the roof, I jumped trough a few windows, one time I even took a piece of steel and tried to slice open my ankle."

"What?" Jacob stared wide-eyed at me.

"They told you I was a problem child right." I looked up at each on of them before pulling my leg up and un covering my ankle to reveal a scar that spread over the whole back. "See."

"You should be dead!" Alice exclaimed.

"They say I have a guardian angel." I shrugged. "I hate her. People pull me off the tracks before the trains come, the rope breaks or someone comes out before I can completely strangle myself. Cars hit their breaks or swerve to avoid me, or when they hit me, its not good enough to kill me. I've broken a few ribs, got a collapsed lung, broken legs from jumping trough windows and off the roofs. The steel didn't even slice far enough to kill me."

"Wow." Emmett was staring at still. I folded my arms.

"I'm sorry." I looked at each one of them. "I'm just tired of living like I can actually make a difference. The world doesn't care about me. It doesn't care about anyone. No one is needed here. No one is loved enough. I'm just some stupid little girl. No one would care if I go away forever."

"I would." Edward whispered loud enough for me to hear from the doorway. I looked up at him and blinked the tears away that had started to sting at my eyes. I should have known better than to start crying. I wiped my eyes and opened my mouth, about to say something when the Elevator dinged.

"Who ordered Pizza." Jasper yelled walking into the room. He must have paid the man and sent him on his way. He grinned holding the pizza's out as an offering, Rosalie coming up behind him.

"I did!" Alice chimed a smile forming on her face. Emmett already had one pizza scooped into his hands and was opening it. He set it on the counter as Jasper did with his and they began serving the Pizza. Alice handed me my plate, and all thoughts of the pervious conversation disappeared. I must have imagined Edward had said that, because no one else had even looked like they heard it. I shook my head and began the consumption of the pizza.

(A/N) Thanks to all my Reviewers! Really you guys are what keeps me writing! So special thanks to mariecullen13, CahBigaiski, mirian masen, Horselover9139, and FrankieDobo.