Leaver's Ball
"Did you hear?!"
"Have you heard?!"
"Professor Lupin…"
"Sirius Black!"
"Werewolf…"
"Attacked that Weasley kid…"
I spun my head back and forth as I passed each huddled group until I caught up with my own gossip machine.
"What the hell is going on?" I asked Peri, whose eyes widened with excitement as she turned to look at me.
"Sirius Black!" she exclaimed.
"He tried to get into the chamber?!" Beth cried as she joined the group.
"No." We all chorused.
"So what's happened?" I backtracked.
"Apparently, Sirius Black got into the grounds last night, kidnapped Ron Weasley, used him to lure Harry Potter and their Hermione friend to the Shrieking Shack, they were rescued by Professor Snape, and Black was later caught trying to escape with Potter by the Dementors! And to top it all off, he actually did escape… again!" Peri breathed out in a rush of excitement.
"Blimey," I concluded.
"Oh," Seth then chipped in, "And whilst all this is happening, guess who's roaming the grounds as an untamed werewolf?"
"Filch?" I said.
"Snape?" Beth said.
"Hagrid's hairy secret long lost brother?" I continued.
"No…" Dora replied, "Professor Lupin!"
My jaw dropped.
"No way!" Beth gasped.
"Oh no!" I realised, "does that mean he's leaving?!"
"I'm afraid so," Peri nodded gravely.
"Oh that's sucks… he's the best teacher we've ever… oh wait, what do I care? We're leaving too. So, you guys picked out what you're wearing to the leaver's ball?" I moved on.
There was a collective groan as we continued this discussion animatedly, but Seth stopped short in bewilderment.
"That's seriously all you guys have to say about one of the biggest pieces of drama to happen to Hogwarts?"
"To be fair, I don't think it's bigger than Professor Quirrell having You-Know-Who on the back of his head for an entire year, then trying to kill Potter," said Beth.
"Or a giant killer snake slithering round the pipes of the school for a whole year, petrifying people and then trying to kill Potter, again. I mean, it's literally not bigger than that. Literally," I said.
"Fair enough," he conceded, "continue."
The day did then continue to revolve in these same circles of conversation, from the events of the previous night (Peri: "How the hell did we not figure out Professor Lupin was a werewolf? His boggart turned into a full moon for crying out loud! I've definitely failed my N.E.W.T's…"), to the anticipated arrival of the Leaver's ball (Beth: "There's no way in hell I'm going with Charlie. Not even if he looks absolutely stunning in his dress robes so that every time I look at him I get butterflies in my stomach. Not even then."), back to theories of Sirius Black's miraculous escape (Dora: "What if he went back in time, stole Hagrid's hippogriff, which mysteriously disappeared right before it was meant to be executed, then broke his past self out of the top tower, and gave him the hippogriff to escape?"), to reminiscing about the highlights of our last year at Hogwarts (Me: "Remember when Granger punched Malfoy in the face? That was awesome.")
"Uh, excuse me, Peri, can I talk to you a minute?" came a voice from behind us, and we turned to find Herbert Sheppley stood looking both nervous and slightly angry.
"O-okay," Peri blushed, and following him to a safe distance away.
"Do you think he's asking her to the ball?" Dora chimed excitedly.
"I don't know, it kind of looks like they're arguing," I said, judging by the way Herbert was gesturing and in their use of low, harsh whispers.
"What on earth is going on…" wondered Beth.
"I've had enough Peri!" Herbert suddenly yelled, "tell them now or lose me forever!" he demanded, pointing over at us.
Our jaws dropped, and Peri stared at us in wide-eyed horror.
"Well?" Herbert encouraged.
Peri opened her mouth but no sound came out.
"Fine, that's it," he cried, and turned to storm away when Peri screamed, "I'm dating Herbert Sheppley!"
No one said anything for a while, we just stared awkwardly at each other.
"For how long?" grinned Beth, the shock wearing off.
She looked tentatively back at Herbert, and sidled toward him, picking his hand up in hers and said, "since… since before Valentine's day…"
"Oh my god! Why didn't you tell us?!" I cried, genuinely a little hurt.
"Snow, you guys spent an entire day coming up with fish puns to tease Seth and Dora. A whole day. You sent them a baby grow for their one month anniversary! You've named their imaginary children Bethogen and Imothy! Not a single day goes by you don't crack a joke about their impending nuptials or birth of a child. You've already planned a surprise baby shower for their nine month anniversary!"
"Spoiler alert!" cried Beth.
"I'm just saying, I just knew you guys would tease me ceaselessly about it, and you know I don't like to be teased…" she trailed off ashamedly.
"I can't believe you wouldn't trust us with such a huge thing in your life," I said.
She dropped her gaze.
"I must say, I'm really hurt that you would keep it from us for so long…" Beth chided.
"Even from me?" Dora mumbled sadly.
"I'm so sorry guys, please forgive me…" she pleaded.
"Or what…" I began, and I sincerely, really tried to stop myself from saying it… "we'll lose you forever?"
Bethany sniggered beside me, and Peri's eye twitched.
"See!" she screamed at Herbert, "you had to give them ammo didn't you!" and she spun on her heel and stormed off leaving a sheepish Herbert in her wake.
"I'd go after her mate," I said.
"Yeah, or she'll never forgive you," Beth chuckled.
"Won't ever speak to you again," I said.
"For the rest of your life," Beth added.
"So essentially…" I continued,
"…you'll have lost her …" Beth sighed,
"Well…" I trailed.
"Forever," We both finished, and grinned brightly at him.
He looked from one of us to the other, then at Dora who could only shrug helplessly, before he shouted "Peri!" and turned on his heel to follow her, "I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I'll never doubt anything you say again! I should've listened to you!"
"Well that was new… so yeah, remember the time Granger punched Malfoy in the face?" I continued.
"Yeah, that was awesome," Beth agreed.
"Oh my god, Snow evolved! Into Hot Snow!" claimed Beth as I met her in the entrance hall.
"Hell yeah I did," I agreed, striking a pose.
"Okay, now me," she demanded.
I sneered, "You look alright, I guess, could've made an effort."
She looked like she wanted to eat my heart out. And the hearts of all the subsequent children I bore. I'm not sure how that would work, but it would.
"Shall I try again?" I asked.
She nodded.
I cleared my throat, "Daaaaaayum girl, you look all kinds of hot!"
She grinned, "I know, I feels it."
"I mean, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!"
"Well…"
"If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print."
"Getting weird now."
"It's a good thing that I have my library card, because I'm totally checking you out!"
"Stop."
That's when Dora and Peri arrived.
I nodded my head and smiled at Beth, and we both turned and went, "Dayuuuuuuum!"
"Peri, do your feet hurt? Coz you been running round my mind all day," I continued.
"Dora, are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!"
"You can see my pants?!" Dora shrieked, feverishly now assessing the full length dress she'd made.
"No, Dora, it's an American line… they call trousers pants…"
"But I'm not wearing trousers…" she said, utterly confused.
"Forget it," Beth gave up.
We all stood awkwardly for moment… but then the boys arrived.
"Dayuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!"
(Me to Wood) "Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns!"
(Beth to Charlie) "If you were a laser, you'd be set on stunning!"
(Peri to Herbert) "I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you!"
(Dora to Seth) "If you were a bogie, I'd pick you first."
All turn to Dora.
"What…? It's all I could think of… I'm no good under pressure!" she huffed.
As Seth consoled her we all became absorbed in our other halves, "Shall we?" Wood said, proffering his arm.
"Why thank you kind sir," I smiled, taking the arm and walking my most lady like down the stairs.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Being a lady," I replied, grinning at Beth who was doing to same, but also giving the Queen's wave.
"Please, no pictures," I said to a bemused passing first year, shielding my face.
"You guys…" Charlie merely said as we made it into the hall.
Inside two of the tables had been cleared away, and the others had been covered in white cloths and set nicely for dinner. The space in the middle now created a dance floor, for which music was being piped in from an unseen source... just like magic… (lol jokes, it was magic.)
"Nice to see they spared no expense with the decorations," I said, indicating the same house banners that were hung at each final feast.
"At least they don't have to bother taking them down straight away, can just leave them up for tomorrow," Charlie pointed out.
"I can't believe it's our last ever feast tomorrow," pined Peri as she joined us.
"Crazy isn't it," I mused, looking round at all my classmates, hardly recognising half of them.
The nicest part was that instead of the usual candles, the air was full of twinkling lights that flitted and flew around, literal fairy lights.
"Well then guys, let's get our rave on… claw."
The group collectively groaned at me and left to join the festivities.
"Aww come on," I said following, "that's like the funniest thing I've ever said..."
Seth managed to get hold of some Firewhiskey again, so the night for me is now basically just a montage of drunken memories, they may not be in the right order, but it started about here:
Seth: "Just one sip Dora!"
Dora: "Never!"
…
Beth: "Wanna spike Dora's drink with me?"
Me: "Hell to the yes."
…
Dora: "You poo-smelling rapscallion!"
…
Beth: "Herbert and Peri are going at it in the corner!"
Me (yelling): "Peri! What would your mother say!"
…
Charlie: "Check out my moves baby!"
*does the running man*
*poorly*
…
Peri: "But I didn't even figure out that Professor (hiccup) Lupin was a werewolf! I must've failed!"
Dumbledore: "I assure you Miss Poliakoff, I am sure you performed spectacularly."
Beth: "Your beard is really long… like really long…"
…
Bernard Leach: "Dora… can I have this dance?"
Dora: "Back peasant!"
…
Me: "I love you man… you're like… my best friend, in the whole world…"
Percy Weasley: "Well, um, thank you Imogen…"
Me: "Seriously, even with those stupid glasses, and your stuck up attitude, you know what, you know what… you're alright kid."
Wood: "Come on babe, let's get you some water…"
Me: "Let's get you some water, because you are wasted."
…
Beth: "I love you… s-so much…"
Me: "I l-love you t-too!"
Beth: "And, it's s-so sad because… after this… we'll never see each other again, because… I'll be moving with a higher calibre of wizards…"
Me: "I… w-what?"
…
Charlie: "Babe, babe, babe! Check out this one…"
*does sprinkler*
*somehow slaps McGonnagall in face*
…
McGonnagall (dragging Charlie out by ear): "Kiss goodbye to any future you thought you had after Hogwarts!"
Charlie: "I'm sorry! I don't even know what happened! I was just getting my groove on!"
Beth: "Well who am I supposed to make out with now? …Dora, come here for a second."
Dora: "Why?"
Beth: "I just want to talk to you…"
…
Dora: "She put her tongue in my mouth!"
Seth: "I know! I saw! It was kind of hot."
Dora: "…you sicken me."
…
Beth: "I punched myself in the face once, because it was dark and I couldn't see it."
Me: "LOL."
(TS)
…
Beth: "Have I got my lipstick?" (offers open purse)
Me: "Why can't you look?"
Beth: "My eyes are closed."
(TS)
…
Dora: "Do you hide things in your beard?"
Hagrid: "No…"
Dora: *narrows eyes* "Your beard is full of secrets."
…
Peri: "Dora thinks that Sirius Black went back in time, rescued Hagrid's hippogriff, and then used it to escape from the tower… how ridiculous is that?!"
Dumbledore: "Highly…"
…
Dora: *squinting through a fork* "Ha… it looks like you're in jail."
Beth: "You're an idiot."
(TS)
….
Me: "What are you guys doing?"
….
*All three looking through forks*
Me: "Ha… lol."
…
Beth: "Snow, if we went on a group holiday together in the Lake District, would you come?"
Me: "Yeah, yeah, sure."
Dora: "Yay! Because there's a bobbin factory where they make wooden bobbins and…"
Me: "Well… I'll have to check my diary… I'm pretty busy…"
(TS)
…
Seth: "Where's Dora?"
Beth: "Under the table."
Me: "Eating pudding."
Seth: "Why?"
Me: "We were making fun of her."
Beth: "Relentlessly."
(TS)
…
Me: "So, you've decided to forgive us?"
Dora: "Hmmpfh."
*sits down on chair*
*it splits in two*
(TS)
…
*Dora on floor in ball of embarrassment*
Beth: "Chin her!"
*we all tickle her under the chin*
*she severely dislikes this*
(TS)
…
Peri: "I can't believe you turned my hair into a penis."
Me: "Hahahahahahahahahahahaha… ha!"
…
*Me, Beth, Peri, and Dora in hysterics*
Beth: "And then… and then he said… if you squeeze it… it goes that much faster!"
*more hysterics*
Wood: "This isn't fair, I didn't know what you were talking about!"
…
*crying from laughter*
Me: "And what he didn't know… is we'd… we'd… switched his broom… with a real broom!"
*falls off chair with laughter*
Wood: "You guys suck."
…
Me: "Remember when Malfoy tried to pay you for sex?"
Beth: "He didn't pay me for sex!"
Charlie: "Child trafficker!"
Me: "Charlie how did you even get back in here…?"
McGonagall: "Mr Quigley!"
Charlie: "Oh gnome jibblies…"
…
*Back in hysterics*
Beth: "You thought the Hufflepuff animal was a panda!"
Dora: "Shut up!"
…
Seth: "Where's Dora?"
Peri: "Back under the table."
…
Peri: "You guys shouldn't tease Dora so much."
Beth: "Why?"
Me: "Because we'll lose her forever?"
*Peri storms off in frustration*
…
*All mad dancing on the dance floor*
McGonagall: "Will you all please, please, go to bed!"
…
Dora: "We should break into the kitchens."
Me: "Yeah, coz I need me some fried chicken, like, right now."
…
Me: "I love you guys."
*consensus of I love you's*
Me: "But not as much as I love fried chicken."
*continues to eat fried chicken*
…
And then I woke up.
In one of the Greenhouses.
In a sombrero.
"Great night."
AN: So two years and a degree later...
I'M SO SORRY GUYS.
My laptop broke in my second year of university, and I couldn't afford to get it fixed. It's unfortunately just been lying around gathering dust, come with me through two moves, BUT I've finally got round to retrieving this, the most important file off the hard drive to finally finish!
So, though the Hogwarts chapters will be concluded in the next chapter, that won't be it. The rest of the gang will never let me stop, they've insisted on various chapters like the Battle of Hogwarts, children, marriage, and just further fun and hilarity, so make sure you sign up to alerts!
To make up for two years absence, not only have I written this and the final chapter, I also have the first BONUS chapter of many to come - us meeting on the train to Hogwarts in first year!
Just to catch up on our real life counterparts, 'Dora' is now living with 'Seth' in an adorable little house and are very happy together. 'Beth' has graduated and has a boyfriend, who has already been run through the name generator to make an appearance later! After a year in Canada 'Peri' is finishing her last year at University, and I have now also graduated and am living with my boyfriend, who weirdly is called Charlie, so reading back over this was very, very weird.
As usual, please review, it's been SO long, I'd love to hear from you! :)