Hermione had known that the storm she was going to walk into at work was going to be extravagant. Girls were such filthy gossips, and she was perfectly prepared for Lavender and Parvati swooping down on her (out of nowhere, as they didn't even work in her department).
So she wasn't at all surprised, walking through the corridors to hear giggling, and see girls peeking out at her like she was Lady Godiva. She didn't let it affect her... much. She walked a little quicker - that was easy in flats, after all. Hermione hadn't gone to a jot of trouble with her appearance today - if anything, it was wilder and more ferocious than normal.
Her eyes widened as she turned the corner towards her corner office. All the men in the department were there, well, except for Richie-who-wouldn't-get-a-social-cue if it stood on him. And they wolf-whistled at her, as if she was wearing a slinky cocktail dress and not just her normal clothes.
Teddy, of all people, looked at her and said, "So, Granger, how was he?"
Ernie looked her up and down and said, "What's his inches?"
"Perfectly pleasant, and he's five foot nine, which I'm certain you know." Hermione Granger snapped back.
Shamus pouted at her, and said, "Aww, you're no fun. Have a lark, make something up!" Shamus' wide easy grin defied Hermione's anger with its affability.
Hermione stomped her foot, and said, "I swear, you all are the worst sort of voyeurs!"
Teddy said, "Aww, Granger, you know I only asked so that Pansy would talk with me again."
"Now you're doing Pansy's dirty work?! And here I thought you were MY friend."
"I am, I mean - you wouldn't mind? not even a little lie?"
"I'm a Gryffindor."
"Parvati lied her whole way through divination and you know it." Randy piped up from the back of the pack.
"Excuse me, Please - I have work to do." Richie said, muscling his narrow form through the pack of boys. (Were those girlish locks peeking out behind them? Nasty little things, couldn't be bothered to ask Hermione themselves. Have to rely on brawny boys to not get pummeled to death.)
"Richie!" Hermione said, favoring him with a wide, welcoming smile.
"Erm, I've got a few notices here, that I need your approval on. Can you -" Richie said,
Hermione cut him off with a simple, "Of course." Without looking, she grabbed for the handle of her door, and opened her office door. Her first clue that something was wrong was Ritchie's jaw hanging open. Shamus was the first person in- followed quickly by Colin Creevey. Shit, were there going to be photos of this? Because it wasn't just flowers... it was that, and a chocolate fountain, and - oh, my god, was that a palomino pony?! In her office? Flashes were going off everywhere, and the pony stamped its foot uneasily.
Shamus smiled at her and said, "Why don't you hop aboard?"
Hermione looked at everyone, looked at shamus, looked down at her skirt (which was entirely too short to hop aboard anything, even sidesaddle), and said, "Alright, show's over. Everybody out." Shooing the recaltrant out of her doorway, she absently signed whatever Richie handed her, and said sharply to him, "You too, Richie."
Finally, Hermione sat in her chair, her door safely locked and warded. She sighed, let her head collapse in her hands, and let out a muffled sob of frustration. Then she picked up a parchment and began to write. It started with Ferret
[a/n: Hermione does not want her office to be turned into "Draco's Romantic Gift" Zone. It's distracting, and Hermione's really a much more private person than that.]