Dean was pacing back and forth across the living room and his snarls were starting to worry his companions. "Where the hell is he?" he asked turning to look at the clock on the wall again, knowing that it wasn't going to be much different than the last time he looked. "Damn it, it's seven thirty, Jenna said he left an hour ago; he should have been here by now."
Joseph looked at Taylor and they shared a look of how was he getting home, when Dean broke through their thoughts with another diatribe. Not sure if it was safe to interrupt, they both decided to stay quiet until a more opportune moment surfaced. Stephen, however, decided to take a more direct approach. "What exactly did Jenna say again?"
Pausing for a moment, Dean thought back to the conversation that had started his ill concealed panic, finally piecing the details together he shrugged his shoulders. "Just that Sam had left an hour ago, and that something happened at school that we need to make sure he tells us about it. That's it, nothing else. Damn, I don't need this today… where is he?" he asked the wall again as he tried to stay calm, but knew he was failing miserably. He was about to call Jenna when the front door opened and a very tired looking Sammy stumbled in. All four men looked at their little bro in surprise and wasn't sure what to say until he broke the silence.
"So, you're heading out tomorrow." He said calmly, trying to organize the events of the day in his head, but knew that he was more tired than what he initially thought.
Shocked for a moment, Dean finally nodded before asking, "How did you know?"
Sam smiled at his brother before answering, "Jenna says the Colonel gets real antsy right before he sends a group out. So, how long will you be gone?" he asked, already knowing that it was just a short mission but he wanted to hear it from Dean.
"A couple of days, a week max. We'll definitely be back before the ball, so you won't have to suffer it alone." Dean tried to joke, but saw that he was failing miserably. He felt like he was failing a lot lately. "Look, I know that we talked about this before I re-enlisted, but I really didn't think we'd have to head out so soon."
Sitting on the couch, Sam looked up at his brother and smiled. "Dean, we did talk about it, and I thought I made it clear that I'll support your decision… and I do. I just didn't know how much time we were going to have to hang out, that's why I was asking."
Dean really listened to what Sammy had said, and he knew he should be ticked off at his little brother for worrying him, but then something clicked in his brain; the Colonel's house was a good half hour drive away, and Sammy didn't drive. "Sammy, how did you get home?" He saw the look on his friends faces and knew that they had been asking themselves that as well, as they all turned their attention to Sammy, they noticed too that he looked like he could fall asleep where he sat.
"Well, I ran a couple of miles, then one of Jenna's friends picked me up and dropped me off. It was a good thing too, 'cause right now I feel beat." Sam told them while trying to keep his eyes open, but knew he wasn't succeeding too well.
"Sammy, how about we wake you in about an hour and we can finish this discussion?" Dean asked, chuckled when he heard the mumbled sound of agreement. Looking over at the others he smiled. "It's been awhile since I had to tuck him in for a nap."
Taylor smirked, and then helped Dean move Sammy into a better position. Their talk could wait; little brother was out for the count.
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It was a couple of hours later before they decided to wake Sammy up, the main reason was, he looked like he was coming down with something and that worried all of them; after all, they weren't going to be here for a couple of days at least. Nudging him awake hadn't worked, so Dean resorted to the old stand by, tickling. Of course he hadn't taken into account that his little brother wasn't ten anymore and had longer arms to catch him on the jaw with. After everyone got calmed down, they went into the kitchen and watched as Sammy fixed himself something to eat while they talked about the issues that needed to be dealt with.
"Sammy, before every deployment, I have to fill out a form to designate someone as your temporary guardian. Unfortunately, I can't think of anyone since the guys here will be with me. Any suggestions?" Dean asked, wondering if his brother's first thought would be Pastor Jim.
"The Colonel? I'll be there anyway because of Jenna's late night roaming problem before the Jubilee, and he already asked if I could spend more time over there until things settle down." Sam told Dean nonchalantly, as if it was everyday a girls father asked a boy to spend the night.
Dean looked around the table then back at Sammy, watching as his brother sat down next to them and started to dig into his omelet. "Sammy, are you ok with that? I mean I know this all short notice, but are you sure that you don't mind…"
"Dean, look, I spent the last several years sleeping in a car or on the ground, I'm kind of used to making the best of a situation. At least this situation has a bed and cable TV." Sam smirked, making the guys around him chuckle.
They sat there for awhile, each in their own thoughts when Dean suddenly sprung up from his chair, telling Sam not to go anywhere, he'd be right back. Sam looked around the table for any idea of what might have just happened, when he noticed the guys were starting to smile. After hearing the balcony's glass door open, Dean curse a few moments, then the door close again, Sam started to get suspicious about what was really happening in the living room. He was about to get up from the table when Dean walked into the kitchen guiding a ten speed along next to him. Sam sat there in shock, not sure what to make of it or what to do.
"I thought you might like to be able to go to the store and whatever on your own. It's not much, one of the guys at the base had got it a couple of years ago when he thought about doing triathlons, but wanted to get rid of it since it's been hanging in his garage for over a year. So, anyway, what do you think?" he asked, not knowing if the bike was actually something that his brother would like to have, but had figured that it was worth a shot anyway. When Sammy didn't answer, he looked at his brother who just sat there staring at the bike. "Sammy? Hey, are you ok little brother?"
Sam had no idea what to say, it meant a lot to him that his brother trusted him enough to let him go places by himself. He was sure that he had messed that up after running off the last time. He remembered Dean teaching him how to ride on the neighbor's bike when he was eight, and it was something that he was sure he hadn't forgotten; at least he hoped he hadn't. Looking up at Dean, he could tell that he was worried, "It's great Dean, thanks! Uh, I know it's late, but do you think I can try it out?" he asked, the rest of his supper forgotten.
After they were all outside, Sam hopped on the bike and took off a little wobbly at first, then he was able to balance everything out and his confidence grew. Fifteen minutes later, the wind grew colder and they all were ready to go back inside, with Sam still smiling at his gift. He had just put the bike up on the landing by the other 'doorway' and walked inside, when Dean held out something else for him. Looking at it, he was confused until Dean clarified, "I put you on my plan, this way if you're running late I won't have to track you down by beating the wino's ok?"
Taking the cell phone, Sam wasn't sure what to do with it. This was definitely new territory for him, his dad hated the things, and only used land lines when absolutely necessary. Taylor quickly showed him how to get into his address book which not only had all of their numbers in it, but also Pastor Jim, Bobby, Caleb and Joshua's. The voicemail was something that Sam thought he'd never need, but it was good to know how to get into just in case, and texting was something that just sounded too weird, so he decided to wait about that until some other time.
Dean leaned back against the wall and watched Taylor fill his Sammy in on the features of his phone. He had thought that he'd feel more jealous, seeing what was going on, but then he thought about it; these guys had heard about Sammy practically non-stop for four long years, it's no wonder they all took to him like he was theirs. Smiling, he continued to watch until Stephen and Joseph nudged him toward the balcony.
"Ok, who are you and what have you done with the real Dean Winchester?" Stephen asked suspiciously.
Not even pretending that he didn't know what they were talking about he shrugged, "Look, we all know that John is out there somewhere, that's a given. I don't want Sammy being a sitting duck. I know the kid can run, hell he can fight, but if he's mobile he has a better chance. I know it sounds lame, but I just wanted him to have a way to get from one point to another without having to rely on someone and possibly becoming a stationary target."
Joseph looked between his two friends and knew that it was a sound reason, but not the only one. He had thought about how long Dean had waited to spoil his little brother, and had a feeling that if Sammy wouldn't have had a problem with getting his license, then Dean would have already found a car for him and the kid to fix up. Shaking his head, he couldn't help but admire their little brother, he had been through so much, but he still had a way about him that drew people to him. "Dean, you sure you're ok with this? I mean, it's not a car, but it does mean that he can go anywhere, anytime without us really knowing where he is."
"Nah, not worried about it… why do you think I ran out and got the phone while he was sleeping?" he tossed over his shoulder while walking back inside. "Hey Sammy, what happened at school today?" he practically shouted to his brother as he crossed the doorway.
Sam froze in his spot, there was no way that Dean could know about what happened, there wasn't; was there? The more he thought about it, he wasn't sure. Yeah, Jenna said they were friends, but does that mean that she'd keep quiet about something that he didn't want to talk about? Looking back and forth between Dean and the guys he knew that they all wanted to know, and he had a feeling that he wouldn't be able to stonewall them long. "Not much, it was actually pretty boring." he told them, hoping that would satisfy them; it didn't and he wanted to kick himself. 'Great, most teenagers complain that their parents don't care, and I end up with the brother's who do.'
"Come on Sammy, Jenna said something happened and we needed to ask you. So, what happened? Did those brats try anything?" Joseph asked, looking as if he would track every one of the offending parties down.
"What? No!" Sam laughed, thinking about how it sounded, they had been worried about his feelings getting hurt. "Nothing that wasn't normal teen crap, and nothing that bothered me." He was hoping they'd drop it; he really just wanted to spend some time with them before they left and he was alone again. Yeah, so not going to happen.
Dean recognized that look, it was the same one that Sammy would get when something had happened and he didn't want to make a big deal about it; like when he saved Mrs. Rochelle's kitten from the broken fire escape, and she kept going on and on about how brave he was. Nope, sorry little brother, not going to get away with it that easily. "Sammy, what happened?" he asked, giving Sammy his patented 'don't screw with me; I'm your big brother look.'
Sighing, Sam knew that he needed to deal with it so they could move on to other things. Looking at Dean he finally answered, "We did time trials at the track today, and the Coach wants me to try out for the Cross Country team."
Everyone looked at Sammy, then at themselves; then back at Sammy before they all broke out in pandemonium and started to pat him on the back. "That's great Sammy… Good going… you'll make it…"
Confused, Sam interrupted, "I already told the coach no, I'm not going to try out." When he saw the looks on their faces, he tried to explain, "Look, chances are I'm not going to be there the rest of the year, so why should I start something then leave them in a lurch?"
"Sammy, why wouldn't you finish the year there?" Stephen asked, truly confused by the prospect of the kid not being at the school.
"I'm there for only one reason, to watch out for Jenna; not to try and become something I'm not. After she's safe, she won't need me around as much, and I won't have a reason to be at the school." Sam said as he was getting things ready to wash the dishes.
Dean looked around and wondered if it was just him, or was there something else under what was being said. "Sammy, you still need to go to school, if you're there now you might as well finish the rest of the year out and then we can think of somewhere for you to go next year." He had meant every word, but he saw the reaction his little brother was having to them.
"Dean, what's the point? You want me to what… graduate from high school, maybe go to college? It's not going to happen Dean, I'm on borrowed time, and there's no way around it." Sam said, trying to pull himself back together, but the day's events, along with knowing that his brother as well as his new 'brother's' were going to be gone tomorrow, was really taking a lot out of him.
The guys were stunned, they knew that they were on a time schedule of sorts, but they hadn't picked up that Sammy had already doomed himself to it. Shaking his head, Dean turned Sammy around to face him. "That's crap! You said November 2000, its February 1999 right now; we have over a year to find a way to keep John from doing this. So don't you dare give up now; not after everything we went through to get you back. Do you understand me?" Dean was practically screaming at Sammy, and Stephen was trying to calm the situation down, while Joseph noticed how pale their little bro had gotten and moved to make sure he was alright.
"I just want to enjoy what time I have left Dean… I know that you don't understand, but I'd still like for you to try and respect that." Sam said quietly, seeing the anger that was rolling off of Dean in waves. He had known that talking about this was the wrong thing to do, maybe next time he'd listen to himself.
Joseph was about to go and get the med kit that he kept in the hall closet when he felt Sammy's hand grab his wrist. "Sammy, I just want to make sure that you're ok, you're so pale right now, the scars on your face are almost neon." He said gently, hoping that Sammy wouldn't get upset, but he needed the kid to know how freaked he was.
Dean noticed how pale his little brother had gotten and was instantly concerned. He knew what Joseph meant, normally you could kind of tune the scars out, but right now they stood out more than ever. "Sammy? You ok kiddo?" he asked, hoping to bring Sammy back to the here and now.
Smiling, Sam nodded, he needed some sleep but was determined to stay up with his brothers. "Yeah, I'm ok, just a little shocked I guess, I haven't had anyone care about me being in school for awhile."
They watched Sammy for a moment before Stephen took a deep breath and asked the question that everyone had been avoiding for too long. "Sammy, when did your dad do that to you?"
Startled, it took Sam a moment to form an answer, "My face? Uh… honestly, it's a little foggy, I was still coming off one of Dr. Long's 'treatment plans' and some of it doesn't make sense to me, but I know it was right after I lost the sight in my left eye."
There seemed to be a collective jerk among the Musketeers when they heard that and wanted, no needed to know more. When it looked like Sammy wasn't going to finish that thought, they asked for more information. They all had their fears about how it had happened, with what they had heard from Sammy about it while he was falling asleep, but they all hoped, prayed they were wrong.
"Oh, uh, we were in Minnesota I think, I was pretty out of it, but Dad insisted that we stop at this place that let people stay in the old hunting cabins in the woods. Dad got into a fight with someone, but we stayed the night anyway. The next morning he wanted to move deeper into the woods, so we took only what we needed, leaving the rest behind for me to grab later. He was already in a foul mood, so when he left to get some late lunch I was actually happy that I could get some sleep. I don't know how long it was before he came racing in telling me we had to go, that he'd been spotted and that they were on his trail. We hadn't even gotten out of the cabin before we were being chased. We already had a plan so when we got to the river we jumped; only I hit the water wrong and I surfaced with a headache and my eye blurry. By the time that I doubled back and got to Dad he was beyond furious and kept yelling that I had told the demons where to find us. The next morning I woke up tied to the bed with a knife in my face and Dad screaming that it was my fault." Sam finished, not sure if that was what they really wanted to know, but that was what he remembered.
The room was silent; none of the others knew what to say. They all remembered that day, and the confirmation that they had contributed to his suffering was almost to much to bear. Sure that he had once again screwed up, Sam didn't know what he should do to fix it. Turning back around, he started washing the dishes trying frantically to figure out how to make everything go back the way it was; before he ruined everything, too bad he couldn't go back further.
Dean stood stock still trying to process what he'd heard, his Sammy had been blinded during the chase they all had participated in, to make matters worse John blamed Sammy for them showing up and punished him for it in a way that would never go away. The burden of responsibility had never been this heavy before, and he saw that the others felt the same way. Taking a chance, he glanced at his brother and wasn't surprised to see him hiding behind his hair. Sighing, he knew he had to make this right, and he had to do it now.
"Sammy, look at me." He said gently trying to get his brother to turn to him. "Sammy, those demons that John told you was chasing him; that was us. We were chasing him to find you. I'm so sorry Sammy, I really am." Dean said sincerely with tears filling his eyes. He saw that Sammy had put down the wash rag and was standing still, seemingly not even breathing. Dean was scared that he had blown it, now that the truth was out. How was his brother ever going to trust him now?
"It was you?" Sam asked, not looking at his brother.
AN: uh... hope you liked, let me know!