Author's Note: I was derping around on Wikipedia, and I came across a page called "Axis of Evil", which, apparently, was a term used by Bush (Junior, I think) (the former President of the US) to refer to North Korea, Iran, Iraq, and "their terrorist allies". (So no, not the WWII Axis. Sorry. :P)

And then, Wikipedia being Wikipedia, it goes on to list a bunch of the spinoff versions of the phrase.

One of which is the "Axis of Environmental Evil", which refers to... Australia, Canada, and the US. Because apparently there's a lack of support for international environmental treaties, especially ones having to do with climate change, from those countries.

Seriously? I mean, maybe it's just me, but I feel like countries like, you know, CHINA *cough*smog*cough*, have more environmental treaty support problems than the US! (And I'm allowed to say that, because I'm Chinese-American!)

Uh-huh, yeah, sure, pick on the poor little (OK, maybe not so little... the second, third/fourth [see bottom A/N], and sixth largest nations in the world aren't really all that small... :/) settler nations with basically no indigenous culture to speak of besides that borrowed or evolved from other places. Yeah. You just keep doing that while we become the most powerful nations in the world. Yep yep. :)

... Except the Canadian Green Party was one of these environmental groups that said that, so... :/

CANADA DON'T BE MEAN TO YOURSELF!

Anyway. Guest appearances of Australia and other random countries used as plot devices (LOL, what plot? XD)

"Hmph."

"..."

"..."

"... Dude, what's up with Austria today?"

"I have no idea..."

"... Hmph."

"Austria, what are you- WAIT AUSTRALIA NO!"

CRASH!

"Oh. Crap."

Chapter 21: In which America, Canada, and Australia destroy "the environment".

Because they can. NO ONE CAN STOP ENGLAND'S YOUNGER BROTHERS MWAHAHAHAHA- *hack* *hack* *cough* *cough*

America and Canada stared dumbly at the wreckage a certain Australian had caused in Austria's garden.

Said Austrian spluttered indignantly at the mud and dirt and pottery shards scattered across the space. His plants were slowly dying.

"Um... Sorry, mate?" the culprit tried.

Sounds of the approaching Hungarian army drifted in on the breeze.

America broke into a laugh. "DUDE! RUN!"

The American thus pulled his Canadian twin and his Australian brother/cousin/relation/something-or-the-other UP UP AND AWAY!

(Actually, they ran toward Switzerland. Except Switzerland's bullets blew them off their feet and halfway across Europe. But it was OK, because nation skin, which is exactly the same as human skin, can deflect bullets. Logic that. *smug smile*)

When they landed, the three were surprised to find themselves in Poland.

Poland just stared back at them.

"You guys just, like, totally flew into my country! I gotta tell Liet!"

Poland ran off.

"Well... since we're here... Wanna destroy some trees?" Australia offered.

"Yeah!" America ran to follow Australia. Both had, apparently, forgotten about Canada.

"Guys... I don't think this is a good idea... eh..." Canada said quietly. Of course.

Then a tiny voice from inside him rang out. Are you going to let those two upstage you again? Eh? EH?! SHOW THEM WHAT CANADA IS MADE OF!

Canada smirked. "YES!"

And thus he, too, ran off to destroy some of Poland's forests.

"MY PINK TREES!" Poland wailed as Lithuania sweatdropped beside him.

"It's your own fault for leaving your country in the hands of those three."

"Like you're doing right now?"

Lithuania paled. "... Crap..."

SMASH!

"WAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!" (This came from America, in case you weren't aware.)

By now, the three had moved on from Lithuania to Germany.

As you can probably guess, the German nation was NOT pleased.

"AMERIKA! KANADA! AUSTRALIEN! ZERSTÖRT SIE MEIN BÄUME!"

Prussia popped up at that moment. "Kesesesese... You are SOO screwed."

"EAST! HELP ME DESTROY THESE DUMMKOPFS BIS SIE STAUB!"

"Jawohl!" Prussia said, saluting his younger sibling with a smirk.

"TIME TO RUN~!" Australia sang out.

And the three ran.

"So... where to next?" Canada asked after they had successfully lost the German brothers. Not that losing them was any consolation. Next world meeting... But that's a different story.

"Hmm... Are we in China?"

"Hai," said a randomly appearing Japan. "This is China."

Identical evil gleams appeared in each of the three young nations' eyes.

"That means-" America began.

"-that we don't need to destroy trees-" Canada continued.

"-WE CAN DESTROY BAMBOO!" Australia finished off. And thus the three ran off, leaving Japan in the dust.

Well, not really.

"AIYAAA MY BAMBOO! YOU ARE KILLING PANDAS, ARU!" China screamed, hitting Australia over the head with his Shinatty doll.

"Killing... pandas?" Hong Kong, still with a completely calm expression, whipped out nunchucks and proceeded to start whaling on America.

"NOOOO! I MUST PROTECT ALL THAT IS KAWAII! AND PANDAS ARE KAWAII!" Japan yelled as he jumped into the fray, katana whirling.

"Hey, Taiwan, that looks fun!" South Korea and Taiwan had appeared. "Let's protect Aniki's breasts!"

Taiwan sweatdropped. "He doesn't have breasts," she said while Japan and China simultaneously let out roars of rage at South Korea.

Regardless, the other two Asians joined in as well.

The three young Western nations were holding out surprisingly well against the older Eastern ones.

That is, until England showed up.

"JAPAN! I HAVE COME TO ASSIST YOU!"

"Ah... Arigato, Igirisu-san."

"HAHAHA IGGY!"

"SHUT UP AMERICA!"

"Ohonhonhon... I sense sexual tension..."

"SHUT UP FROG!"

"Oh, bonjour France."

"Ah, Canada!"

"Mattie! Focus!"

"Right."

"AAARGH!" This came from England, who somehow managed to whip out and put on his black cloak while drawing a perfect pentagram on the ground of a Chinese bamboo forest all in the space of half a second.

"Now, for my spell!"

As England began chanting, everyone backed away slowly.

"Angleterre... I don't think this is a particularly good idea..."

"England-san, please stop..."

"Stop it, ahen!"

But England ignored them all. "-buizara DAK!"

WOOSH! went the magic.

Everyone shielded their eyes.

When they opened them again, the found a disturbingly adorable sight.

America, Canada, and Australia had been turned back to their colonial size.

"AWWWWW!" went everyone except England.

"Huh?" America sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Engwand?"

"SQUEE!" Taiwan... well, squeed. She rushed over and picked a squirming Chibi-America up, bringing him over to Hong Kong and South Korea. "SO CUTE~!"

"Me twoo! Me twooo!" Chibi-Australia whined. He was quickly scooped up by China and Japan.

Chibi-Canada drooped slightly.

"Aw, don't worry, Canada, big brother France has got you." France smiled gently and gave his little brother a big hug, which Canada returned happily.

Then the French nation glared at England. "You better turn them back, Angleterre."

"Ufufufufu... and send me back to my home, da?"

"WAAAH RUSSIA HOW DID YOU GET THERE?"

"You summoned me."

England threw his arms in the air, gave up, turned into a flying unicorn, and flew away amidst bursts of rainbows and sparkles.

Everyone except Russia sweatdropped.

What was the Russian doing, you ask?

Well...

"Is this Kanada? And Amerika! Oh, and little Avstraliya! How cute! Hn~!"

Everyone sweatdropped again.

Author's Note: Don't ask. Just... don't. *hides in corner*

Translations:

AMERIKA! KANADA! AUSTRALIEN! ZERSTÖRT SIE MEIN BÄUME! - AMERICA! CANADA! AUSTRALIA! YOU DESTROYED MY TREES! (German)

[...] BIS SIE STAUB! - [...] UNTIL THEY ARE DUST! (German)

Jawohl! - Yes, sir! (German)

And... I don't really think I have to translate anything else. You can figure it out, right? :)

So. About the third/fourth largest country thing: Basically, most of the world is biased toward America, and, in this case, against China. Like, if you go look on the UN site or the CIA world factbook or wherever you look for country size info, they usually calculate country size by total land area+total inland water area. The problem is, with the US, most of them include territorial waters for some strange reason that's completely beyond me. So the US ends up having more area than China because of the ocean. WHICH IS TOTALLY UNFAIR! If you get rid of the territorial ocean area, China's larger! Even when you just assume disputed territories like Taiwan and that place next to India, and the special administrative regions of Hong Kong and Macau aren't included in the area calculation. THE TOP TEN COUNTRIES BY SIZE LIST SHOULD BE RUSSIA, CANADA, CHINA, AMERICA, BRAZIL, AUSTRALIA, INDIA, ARGENTINA, KAZAKHSTAN, AND ALGERIA!

... Ahem. I'm done ranting.

Hope you liked it~! :D