A/N: hey everybody, first of all thanks for all the lovely reviews I got last chapter. I promise, the story is going to be happier from here….I know I have been using this excuse a lot lately, but I have been snowed under with uni…im in my final year, and already I am behind in my work!! eek! so here is chapter 21 please read and review!! Believe me I need the pick up after the dreadful week I have had. L xoxo

Chapter 21-Never Let You Go

"Hey, Luke" Haley said as she approached her childhood best friend.

"Hey, Hales" he said in a deflated tone.

"How is Ella?" she asked curious to why he was sitting out in the waiting room, while she could see Brooke though the NICU window.

"I'm not sure" he said, tussling his hair in a stressed and worked up state.

"You're not sure" she said slowly

"Yes"

"Ok what happened?" Haley said sitting down

"How did you know something was wrong?" Lucas said looking directly at Haley

"Because you would be in there looking after your baby girl unless something was wrong" Haley said pointing towards the nursery.

"I proposed" he admitted

"You proposed"

"And Brooke said no" he continued

"And Brooke said no" Haley repeated

"Are you going to be repeating everything I say?" he said in a huff

"I'm processing, this is big, Luke" Haley said defensively

"I know, but she said no" he repeated once again getting frustrated.

"Why would she do that?" Haley wondered out loud. Haley knew that after the baby shower that they were making googly eyes at each other, Brooke had more than friendly feelings towards the blue eyed man beside her. But to flat out refuse him? There had to be some reason behind her rejection. Haley knew that Brooke still believed in her prince charming, probably, Haley thought a consequence the less then perfect relationship her parents had.

"I don't know, why do you think I am sitting out here?"

"So exactly what did you say Luke?" Haley said, trying to get to the bottom of what happened.

"That I didn't want Ella to be called the same names I was growing up, and I want her to grow up in a 2 parent household" he said plainly

"Oh Lucas" she said shacking her head

"What? What did I say?" he asked naively

"You pretty much told her the only reason you wanted get married is because you got her knocked up!" Haley said

"But we kissed, I thought it was insinuated I wanted to be with her!" he exclaimed

"Lucas it doesn't matter if you burst out in song, you have to tell her you love her, not that the only reason you want to marry her is because of Ella" Haley responded

"But when Nathan asked you, you had just slept together" he stated

"Yes but we didn't have a critically ill child in hospital Lucas. Nathan told me that he would love me forever, and he couldn't be with anyone else. Emphasis on me, Lucas. As corny as it sounds, what Brooke wants is a horse carriage ride through Central Park, dancing under the moonlight, a nice dinner, you to get down on one knee, to profess your undying love to her, to tell her she is the only one you could ever be with." Haley replied

"How do you know?"

"We're girls, that's what we talk about" she said with a shrug

"I think I did it wrong" he whispered

"No kidding. Lucas you have known Brooke nearly 10 years. You have seen what Brooke's parents did to her growing up. How did you think Brooke would react when you asked her? The only reason her parents had her was to play the perfect American family. Brooke doesn't want that for her daughter" Haley exhaled

"Oh no. I knew that, I did! How could I forget how her parents treat her? I'm so stupid" he groaned.

"Lucas, you are anything but stupid. You want exactly want what Brooke does. Better than what you had growing up. Now go talk to her" Haley said giving him a little push

Lucas got up, briefly turning to his best friend.

"Brooke's lucky to have you as a friend, you know" he said

"No, I'm lucky to be hers"

"Oh Brooke" Peyton sighed

"After all we had been through, after growing up together knowing how my parents treated me; he says he wants to marry just because we had Ella" she cried

"He doesn't mean it that way, B.Davis" Peyton tried to rationalise with Brooke.

"Of course he does" Brooke argued

"No he doesn't. You didn't have the 'if we got married' talk when you were going out, did you?" Peyton asked, a slight feeling of dread sitting in the bottom of her stomach.

"No, first time it was all about the fun, then the second time, he was so sad all the time after Jimmy died, and you were going through such a hard time, not to mention we were only 18" Brooke said

"I understand that"

"How about you and Lucas?" Brooke asked quietly, some what afraid of the answer.

Peyton paused before continuing

"We did, the age I wanted to get married, how many kids that sort of thing"

"Oh" Brooke said disappointedly

"That doesn't matter anymore, Brooke. Lucas had a baby with you. There was a reason why we didn't work." Peyton stated

"Because of Jake" Brooke replied

"And because of you, silly. Just remember how Lucas was brought up too. He spent his childhood being called names because his parents didn't get married and he was disowned by his father." Peyton advised

"But that's still no reason to get married, Peyton" Brooke said stubbornly

"I know that, and you know that but think where he is coming from. If you were in a relationship with Lucas and got pregnant he would have proposed because that's what he does. Lucas wants to do the right thing by Ella. He wants to be the anti Dan." Peyton responded.

"Even after all these years, you still are able to read him better then I do" Brooke sighed

"No Brooke, it's just a connection we have. You have Ella, that's the most important connection of all"

"I guess so"

"So how was the kiss?" Peyton asked mischievously

"If one of us was a frog there would have been some serious consequences there" Brooke said grinning widely

"That good huh?"

"I love him, but I don't know if I can trust him, Peyton" she said, downcast once again.

"Well start with that Brooke, no one said you had to be with him this second. Just give him something B.Davis. Just some sort of hope that you still want to be with him" Peyton counselled

"What would I do without you, P.Sawyer-Jagielski?"

"Just spreading the marital wisdom, B.Davis"

Lucas quietly moved into the NICU, heading towards Ella's crib.

"Hey, how is she?"

Brooke remained mute; Peyton briefly looked at the new mum before answering Lucas.

"Stable, she's holding in there"

"Hey Peyton do you mind if I talk to Brooke for a moment?"

Peyton glanced towards Brooke, although still not taking an eye of her daughter said "It's fine, Pey."

"Ok, I'll be right outside" and squeezed Brooke on the shoulder before stepping out.

Lucas sat in Peyton's vacated seat.

"Brooke I" he started

"No Lucas don't" she said waving her hand

"Why" he asked confused

"Because I love you, Lucas, but our little girl is lying here, holding on by a thread. Even though the gesture was well intentioned, I am not going to marry you just for Ella. I don't want Ella to be resentful towards us like I am to my own parents" she said speaking about her parents with distain.

"But Brooke-" he started again

"Lucas, please can we drop this for now, until Ella is better?" Brooke pleaded

Brooke, who was already torn apart by her daughter's ailments, could not take the look on Lucas' face. The last thing Ella needed was there are cracks showing in her parental unit. The truth was, in the last 3 hours that Brooke was watching her daughter, every so often, her mind would wander to the kiss she shared with Lucas. This made her feel guilty that she wasn't 110 looking after her daughter. Most of all, Brooke hadn't had a kiss like that since, well Ella was conceived. It was one of those earth shattering, lip quivering, oh my god I want to jump his bones kind of kisses.

Just give Lucas some sort of hope that you still want to be with him" Brooke recalled from her earlier conversation with Peyton.

Brooke stood up, walked around the humidicrib looked at Lucas for moment before moving in and softly and sensually met her lips with his.

"Just give it time, Luke"

She moved her chair around to Lucas' side and grabbed his hand and didn't let go. And Lucas never wanted her to.

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So GoodnessFootprintsInTheSand was right… I hope that you felt Brooke's reasons for not accepting Lucas' proposal were valid. Please review….L xoxo