Chapter 21: Lust is just a chemical reaction

Alfred studied harder than ever. He had to, not just to make sure he actually kept the grades he had worked for, but to prove himself a worthy partner to stand by Ivan's side. Ivan was ambitious, a guy in love with his work. Alfred needed to be the same to truly earn his love, his attention, his devotion.

Kiku couldn't comprehend what he witnessed. While Alfred had always been the type to study hard when the finals rolled around the corner, this year he more resembled a robot rather than a hard-working student. He locked himself up in his room from dawn 'til dusk, only coming out for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Kiku even had to take it upon himself to bring the guy the occasional snack and drink to stay hydrated, or force him outside to catch some of that much-needed vitamin D. Usually it was the other way around. What had happened to change Alfred's work ethic so drastically?

Alfred studied and studied and studied. He got through those first days of exams, he got through the next set. There were dark bags under his feverishly blue eyes, his tan had faded. He didn't call his brother, he barely responded to Kiku's care, muttering formulas and definitions under his breath, dreaming of calculations and dates and names. It was like Ivan had infected him with some kind of disease that made him obsessed with passing these finals with the highest grades possible. But if it worked, it would be so worth it. He needed to prove himself, it was of the highest necessity to prove his worth.

Alfred didn't see Ivan during all that time, not even once. He studied so hard, it started to make his Russian lover worry. The few times Ivan happened to catch Alfred rushing by in the hallways, hurrying to the library or an exam, he couldn't help but notice the pale skin, the signs of exhaustion, but also the look of pure and utter determination dragging him through this whole ordeal. Ivan both felt his heart swell with pride over Alfred's perseverance, and a deep sense of worry. While Ivan himself had often looked like this back when he still had his own finals to study for, he couldn't ever recall seeing Alfred like this (not that he noticed Alfred that often before the guy had started to make himself be noticed by him).

Ivan's emotions were thrown for a loop on the final days of exams, when he had been cleaning up in the lab, and Alfred suddenly came bursting through the door.

"They're done!" Alfred crowed in a high-pitched voice, surging forward to meet Ivan's lips with his own, before collapsing into the guy's arms.

"Alfred!" Ivan cried, worry doubling in size, but at the same time feeling relieved when he finally felt that warm body against his own once again. He didn't like to say it out loud, but he had missed Alfred. The sound of his voice, his kisses, the way he looked at him with pure adoration. Still, this was no time to be selfish.

Ivan quickly carried his boyfriend over to a chair, planting him down on top of it. Alfred was smiling goofily, finally allowing himself to relax after all that time. "I did it, Ivan. I studied like the devil was on my tail, and now it's done!"

Ivan chuckled. "I am proud of you, dorogoy. Here, drink."

He pushed a glass of water into Alfred's hands. Alfred took one look at it, before setting it aside. Ivan felt his gut give a lurch when Alfred grabbed him by the collar and yanked him close, smashing their mouths together.

"Al-fred!" Ivan gasped, struggling against the other's hold, even as his lips burnt, yearning for more.

"I came for this," Alfred growled, nipping playfully at the other's tongue, a hint of urgency underlining each word. "You have no idea how much I masturbated the past few weeks."

"We are at school!" Ivan hissed, even when his ears loved the sounds leaving that devilish mouth. While they had been making out a little here and there before finals began, in the bathroom, abandoned hallways, or just, wherever they could, sex had been limited to Ivan's apartment. Work and private life should be kept separated, after all.

Still, his resolve wavered when he saw the burning passion in Alfred's eyes, felt those hands start to roam his clothed back.

"Please? I just, reaaaally can't wait any longer." He moved in to whisper in Ivan's ear, before curling his lips around the tip. "I want you now. I need you."

Ivan couldn't resist. He simply couldn't. Even as his head screamed at him to say no, stop it right now, just take the guy home before anything bad happens, his body reacted immediately to the touches, the words, meeting Alfred's desire with his own. Was this what it was like to truly be…?

Buttons were quickly ripped apart, hungry mouths biting and licking and sucking. Fingers found nipples, words were muttered to urge the other on, speed up the process, there was no time to wait any longer…

"What is going on here?!"

The boys stiffened, each heart skipping a beat, nearly coming to a complete halt before shuddering back into action at high velocity. Neither was fully unclothed at the moment, but their positions could hardly fool anyone. Alfred was half lying on top of the desk at the front of the room, Ivan on top of him, their shirts discarded, belts unbuckled, Alfred's pants already halfway down to his knees, his erection showing clearly through his boxer shorts even as it was partially obscured by Ivan pressing his crotch against the other's. Only their heads were turned away from each other, each expression reading dread as they looked fearfully at Harold Munch, currently standing in the doorway, looking quite like a red lobster ready to boil over.

They were dead.

Ivan was the first to shoot back into action, straightening up to quickly pull his shirt back on, throwing his lab coat over Alfred's body to give him at least a little decency back. Alfred began sitting up while Munch marched over, legs clenched together, erection still present due to his fear rather than any lingering excitement. His cheeks were burning; this was the first time he'd actually been caught by a professor. On a scale from one to ten, his embarrassment had to be one-hundred.

"Sir, I can explain," Ivan began, but Munch exploded before he could finish his sentence.

"Of all people to abuse their position, I never expected you to be one of them!" He was furious, directing his outburst at Ivan for the time being. Ivan stood rigidly before him, taking it without batting an eye, even as his cheeks remained a constant crimson.

"What were you even thinking?! I did not hire you so you could use the school's premises for your own lustful escapades!" His choice of words would have been funny had they been uttered in a different situation. "And that with a student of all people! You are lucky he isn't a minor, or I would have gone to the police right now!"

"I would never have sex with a minor," Ivan bristled, but he cut himself off when seeing the look on Munch's face. All colour drained from his own face at the next words that left that angrily spitting mouth.

"Go grab your things, Bragemsky. You're fired."

This time, it was Alfred's time to pipe in. "What…? You can't fire him for this!"

Munch sent Alfred a look so pissed and, above all, disappointed, that it finally helped in having Alfred lose his little problem.

"I would keep my mouth shut if I were you, Jones. You are lucky you're not working for me, or I would fire you too." He turned back to Ivan. "You understand why I'm doing this, right? You had sex with a student on school grounds during the time you should be working. I hired you because they promised me you were reliable, but I see that they were wrong in recommending you."

"No, sir, please!" Ivan looked like he was pleading for his life. "I promise this was a one-time thing, we usually never—"

"I don't want to hear about what you and Mr. Jones do in your time off!" Munch interrupted him, visibly uncomfortable even thinking about it. "I am not repeating myself! Jones, get dressed, and YOU, go clean your desk. I want you out by the end of the day."

Time seemed to slow down as Alfred looked over to Ivan. He could almost see his dreams shattering in that anxious shifting of his eyes, those sagging shoulders, everything about him deflating and crumbling. This job was what he had worked himself to death for. This job was his life, his chance at a better future. He could NOT lose it over something as stupid as…as…

"No," Alfred said, voice steady despite how shaky he felt. Shaken up. Stirred and turned upside-down. This wasn't how he had expected today to go, not in the slightest. "I'll go. It was my idea to use this room. I should be punished, not him."

Both Ivan and Munch jerked at the sound of his voice, quickly looking over. Ivan in disbelief, Munch in confusion.

"Your idea? Are you saying that you tried distracting him, not the other way around?"

Alfred nodded. His stomach felt burning hot and colder than both the poles. Like he had swallowed molten lava inside an ice cube. "Yeah. Ivan had nothing to do with it. It's all my fault. I take the blame for the whole thing." He kept himself standing upright, head held high. The only thing betraying his true feelings were his hands, balled to tight fists, shaking with every heartbeat.

"You do know what this means?" Munch pressed. "That you cannot continue studying my courses, and that you will have to look for a different major?" His tone was a lot more gentle when addressing Alfred; Munch had always been more concerned about the well-being of his students over that of his assistants. Ivan had never minded, even liked the dedication the professor felt to teaching his discipline. Right now, he didn't know what was good and bad anymore. He couldn't believe what Alfred was saying.

"Alfred, wait—"

"It's okay," Alfred cut him off, laughing dryly. He lifted up his pants and threw the coat back at its original owner, Ivan catching it wordlessly, still bewildered. "I'm fine, really. You shouldn't lose your job over someone like me. I'm sorry for keeping you from your work. It was fun while it lasted." He paused for a moment, seeming to hesitate, before looking Ivan in the eye. "I'm sorry for using you like that. For seducing you. I just thought you'd be an easy target."

"I do not understand…" What is he saying?

"You don't?" Alfred laughed, sounding condescending. "I just wanted to have sex with you. It was never meant to last. Now we're done, the fun's over. So run along, get back to work. Goodbye, Ivan."

And with that, he walked out, hands still balled to fists, the trembles now racking his whole body, leaving the two staring at his back, one wondering at why the boy would give up his entire school career for a quick shag, the other confused to the core.

So that was it. Was that it? Had all of this just been a quick little interruption from daily life, ready to be forgotten, put behind them just like that? Why would Alfred just walk away like that, without even looking back? Had he truly meant what he said?

And why had he sounded so bittersweet while saying it?