***Chapter 21
Sara had had doubts whether she should make the call or not. There were a lot of things she didn't remember, some of the recent events seemed to duck out of sight the more she tried to recall them. As if she was watching a play and the stage manager went crazy with the curtains. There where glimpses of faces, voices, feelings but nothing tangible. The doctor had assured her that the memories would come back in time. And some things she remembered quite well: Walker's face when he shot at her, a thread to someone she liked... she could not point the finger at it but was sure it was there. That made her anxious.
"You should try to relax. The more you think about it, the less it will help." Easy to say for the young nurse who had found her sitting in the bed shaking and out of breath. She wasn't the one that woke up in the middle of the night bathed in sweat knowing there was someone in danger but not knowing who or why. Sara hadn't left the hospital the night Walker had visited. But as soon as she got permission from the doctors, she settled herself at home. The Police had an eye open at the neighborhood so for the time being she felt relatively safe. But she had to find out what had happened. What was hidden behind the curtains?
The phone rang three times, then someone answered with a sleepy voice.
"Yes, who's there? Do you have any idea how late it is?"
"I know, I'm sorry. It's me, Sara. Have time? I need to talk."
There was a pause at the other end of the line. Then startled: "Sara? Where are you? I've heard what happened! You OK?"
Sara tarried. Should I really do it? "Can we talk in person?"
The man at the other end cleared his throat. "Sure. When and where?"
She felt awful about proposing "now" and "at my place". But it seemed to be OK 'cause the other just answered: "Give me 'bout an hour. See you later, Sara."
She heaved a sigh of relief. "Thanks."
Nikki stood at the rail abaft the fore hatch and looked down at the dark blue water topped with white crest due to the constant work of the ship's propeller. Seagulls circled over the awhirl water seeking to make a good catch. There was even an Australasian Gannet flying as close to the surface as he could competing with the much smaller seagulls for the best catch. The familiar humming mixed with the bird's cries soothed her as did the fresh breeze. That was one of the things she had missed. Not the figure she kept seeing standing in the shadows, not the memories of laughter, of hushed lover's oaths. I can't be at home and I can't be here. God Josh I do feel so lost without you!
The brown-haired woman clung to her mug trying not to think about the many times she stood here pretending to watch the sea but secretly waiting for the face with the loveliest smirk she'd ever seen appearing behind the RHIBs.
Footsteps behind her jolted her out of her memories. She turned and faced a tall sailor scrutinizing her.
"You're miles away", he stated before she could say something. "Listen, Nikki. This has to stop. We all miss him. ET was a friend to all of us. And I can't even start to imagine how hard it must be for you. But...", he paused not sure how to say what he wanted to.
"The show must go on, right?" Nav heard herself say. She could hear the bitterness in her words. "And you know what? I think I can't do it anymore. I keep seeing him, I can hear him joking at the mess, every time a hatch opens I wait to see this stubborn mop of curly hair smirking at me. He's everywhere I go and everywhere I look. I don't know what to do." She started crying, tears running down her cheeks but she didn't mind. "I can't be at home and I can't be here. Where can I go? I want to forget and at the same time I fear the day I wake up and have succeeded."
Buffer didn't know what to answer. He wasn't good at talking even less when it came to feelings. And he couldn't stand seeing Nikki cry. It made him angry. Angry at ET who had brought them into that situation, angry at himself for being angry at ET...it was all wrong. Helplessly he put his arm around the sobbing Navigator and stroke her back. It wasn't appropriate at all but right now they weren't lieutenant and boatswain but just two people mourning the loss of a friend.
"Hold me Buffer. Please just hold me." And that was what he did.
Sara shivered. Snow was swirling around her, the snowflakes landed on her bare skin thick and wet. She stood at the top of a cliff overlooking the ocean. Why she stood there in the middle of the night wearing just a short jump-suit she couldn't remember. The white flakes muffled every sound she could barely make out the swash of the waves at the foot of the cliff. Hardly anything was visible, the horizon a darker line in the gray surrounding. Something was there, she could tell but she couldn't make sense of the blurred silhouette hiding behind the waves and clouds. But it came closer, unstoppable. A particularly high wave crashed at the stone wall sending icy cold water over the top of the cliff.
The young woman shrieked and woke up with a start. Gasping she looked around. Her living room looked peaceful like ever, no snowstorm, no mysterious intruders. The door opening onto her patio stood open and the chilly night air poured in. That was what gave her the goose-pimples. She rose from the sofa where she had fallen asleep the evening before watching some stupid game show, picked up the blanket laying on the floor and wrapped it tightly around her body. Then she closed the door and still shivering wondered whether she should change the short jump-suit into something with long sleeves. Drowsily she shuffled to the kitchen sink and poured herself a glass of water. Outside the first birds began to sing and she could see the neighbor across the street talking to the new paperboy. Sara gave them a casual wave and the men nodded in return but didn't interrupt their conversation.
The TV still played in the background, the famous jingle now announcing the early morning news. Almost five o'clock. He should be here any minute now. She took a deep breath. Keep your hair on, Sara.
It rang. A glance out of the kitchen window showed her the two men now looking couriously in her direction. She opened the door and smiled: "Hi."
Two hours earlier, Tom had grabbed his car keys and left the apartment. On the way down to the parking lot he fished out his mobile and dialed. "She called as you predicted. I'm on my way now. Call you again when it's done." That had went easier than he had dreamed of. It would be a piece of cake. The girl was at home, alone, waiting for him. She would open the door and let him in, she still trusted him. So Jack had been right after all. Shock will work for us. She won't remember a thing he'd said. Just let it look like an accident. Tom tried to remember the layout of Sara's place. Were there stairs? He would come up with something on the way there. Not that he had a personal problem with his colleague. Actually he had liked her. They had worked together quite well. Under different circumstances, he might even have tried to get on a date. But as it was the big money was waiting and Sara was in his way. Easy as that. He shrugged. A shame she is a beautiful girl. But there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
The man abutted against the door frame and watched Sara making coffee. She was the only one he knew who used filtercones, brewing the coffee manually. He observed the kitchen interior, noticed the knife block at the couter, the blue flame of the gas cooker... That could be it. Gas poisoning, or even better, a gas explosion. Anybody who knew her would know she made her coffee like that. And accidents could happen all the time. With the fire, all evidence would be gone. Good thinking he praised himself and smiled. But, coffee first. No need to waste a good brew.
"How you feeling?" Tom asked. Not that he was interested but he wanted to distract her long enough to grab on of the knives standing temptingly in front of him.
"Bit stiff and aching but already better than a week ago when I left hospital. You know, what's freaking me out? I don't remember a thing of what happened. And now I found a sound file at my laptop. I must have sent it to me the night I disappeared. Can't make any sense of it. That's why I called. Maybe you could have a look and tell me what it is. Sounds like a hydrographic survey ship to me."
Sara tried to put up her best poker face. There was no sound file but she wanted to see how Tom would react. Obviously she did well because he paled instantly.
"Oh. Well... we talked about that earlier. Maybe you forgot. It is a survey ship, we already figured out. No need to worry about that one, really."
Should have played poker with you while we were still friends, Sara thought. He really tried hard but she could see he was lying. It was written all over his face.
"Oh, okay. Then I'm going to delete it and forget about it. You know, that's something I'm really good at lately."
Tom chuckled. It sounds cheesy, Sara thought, turned her back to him and poured the hot coffee into two mugs. Tom grabbed the first knife he could reach, a small cheese knife slit out of the block. Great, well that is going to be nasty. But it will do. He let it slide into his pocket. Sara turned and handed him a big blue mug with the emblem of the marine research center they both worked for.
"Tom, I have to ask you something. And please don't be mad." She sounded seriously. "I don't know whether to trust my memories or not. I think I remember you being there, you know the night I ..." Her voice trailed off. Now she didn't need so much playing. She felt as lost as she sounded.
Tom's blood ran cold. She knows. There's no way around it now.
"You had to ask, do you?" He slowly rounded the counter making her back off until she stood with her back against the fridge. His voice was hard now. "You know, I really liked you Sara. This is nothing personal. But you are in my way."
Sara franticly looked for a way out. Tom stood between her and the door, the knife block as far away as if it would stay at her patio.
"What is it, Tom? I don't understand I thought we were friends?"
"What it is? It's money, Sara. Lot of money. And as I said, the only thing stopping me from getting it is you! I would have preferred to solve this an other way, really. But you had to ask, had you? Why couldn't you just let it go and forget about it?"
He pulled the knife out of his pocket, his face twisted with anger and murderous intent. Sara screamed at the top of her lung.
Commander Marshall sat up straight. "I'm pretty sure there will be no problem at all, Ma'am. The crew already knows her and we are glad to assist. I will inform Lieutenant Commander Flynn personally that he will have a consultant for marine protection aboard for the next patrol. Thanks for calling."
He hung up and waved Lieutenant Smith in the room, who was waiting in the door frame, a clip board in hand.
"Darryl, get me Lieutenant Commander Flynn on the line."
Darryl Smith hesitated, then asked: "Sir, may I ask to whom you've been talking? Was it the woman from marine protection?"
Marshall nodded slightly irritated on account of the question. "Yes, it was her. She informed me that Sara River has agreed to accompany the Hammersley on the next patrol as a consultant for marine protection."
The young Lieutenant shook his head solemnly. "I don't think so, Sir. The Feds just called..." He turned around and closed the door behind him and continued with a quiet voice. The personal outside could see Commander Marshall sink back at his chair.
"X? I've got an urgent call for Lieutenant Commander Flynn but he's not arrived yet. Could you take it? It's NAVCOM." Robert stood in the door to the wardroom and looked worried. "He sounded really concerned, it must be something bad. But that's just speculation."
Kate put her mug back at the counter and nodded. "Sure, I'm coming. But the CO must be here any minute."
She followed him to the communications room. What she couldn't tell the radio officer was that Mike had wrote her a more than telling text message about what they could do after that patrol and that he was on his way still thinking of their shared dessert. She took the handset and asked: "This is Lieutenant Kate McGregor speaking. How can I help you, Sir?"
Mike entered the gangway, wondering why Kate stood at the rail waiting for him.
"What is it, X? I expected you to be on the bridge plotting a course with Nav?"
"Sir, we have to talk. But not here." Kate turned and led the way to the ship's office. Mike followed bewildered. What was she up to? They both had agreed to be professional and to not take their relationship aboard. When they reached the office, Buffer, Swain and RO already stood waiting there. Now Mike got worried. This must be something serious.
Kate closed the door and turned at her fellow shipmates. Clearing her throat she started. Her voice sounded somewhat hollow.
"Yesterday, I was at NAVCOM to report back to active duty and Commander Marshall informed me that we would get a consultant from marine protection aboard for our next patrol." She could see it in the faces that nobody was pleased with that announcement. Last time they had someone aboard from marine protection it hadn't worked out quite well. She continued: "They wanted to sent Miss River." She could see a smile lighting up Swains face. Swallowing hard, she proceeded: "Some minutes ago, Commander Marshall called and wanted to speak to the CO. I took the call 'cause you hadn't been here yet" she addressed Mike without looking at him directly. Instead she stared at the wall behind him, trying to keep her composure. "He informed me that there has been an incident earlier this morning. Tom Magnus has paid Miss River a visit. Police was undercover in the neighborhood. They rushed in as fast as they could when they heard the shouting. There was a shoot-out, Mr Magnus got killed." Kate paused, letting the news sink in. And she knew she still had to tell them the worst. She turned to the radio officer. "Robert, I'm really sorry. They did everything they could but Miss River..." - she force herself not to call her Sara for she would start crying instantly - "she died on the way to hospital. The doctor says she was still recovering from her previous injuries and therefore was already weakened. There was nothing they could have done."
RO just stood there starring blank-faced at his executive officer. Then he nodded slowly.
"Thank you for the update, X. If there's nothing else, I need to go back to my work. We did have some serious disturbance with the radios and I want to see if they've been checked while we're at port."
Kate swallowed hard. That wasn't the reaction she had expected. Buffer and Swain looked shocked but composed. The commander was still digesting the news. And Robert, the one who had known her best wanted to go back to work as if she had told him there wouldn't be any chips available on her next patrol. "
It's okay if you need a break, Robert. After all, you knew her for some time. Just let us know."
"I'm fine, honestly. I can't do anything to bring Sara back, can I? Only thing I can do is help finding the one who's behind this. Therefore I need to go back to check the radios before we leave port and I won't be able do anything if they still don't work properly."
Mike nodded. "Dismissed, Leader." Waiting until RO had left the room, he turned to Buffer and Swain: "Have an eye on him, will you? I don't trust the calmness. But he has made a point. We can't bring Sara" - he nearly stumbled on his words - "we can't help her anymore other than finding the one's behind all that. I want that sub out of the water and those guys behind bars."
Buffer nodded. "Sara saved my life. We find them, Sir. We find them and then..." His voice trailed off and they all could end his thoughts as clearly as if written on his forehead with highlighter. Then I'm going to kill them.
"Maybe we should have an eye on Buffer as well." Kate stated after the two sailors had also left the office. "I didn't liked what I saw in his face. He's going to do something stupid."