Disclaimer: All copyrighted, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization. Twilight? Belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
This plot is, however, all mine. Every angsty drop.
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So this was it, then.
My mouth felt dry and I wished I'd thought to drink something during our wait earlier.
"Are we stopping at my house? To get my bag?" I asked, staring at the collar of his jacket.
"I have it," he said, nodding toward the door, and I presume, the parking lot. "I saw it on the floor when we went to get you and Rose, only you weren't there…"
"Oh," I nodded numbly.
"You listened," he whispered and I looked up at him. "You were ready."
"I've been ready," I responded, hope blooming inside me when softness and warmth replaced the void in his eyes.
"We have to go," he urged, looking behind me at his sister.
Alice was standing next to my mother, an amused half-smile on her face as she watched Rose and Em carry on. Heart heavy, I went to her.
"Alice," I began, taking her hands in mine. I had a feeling she'd be gone with Jasper by the time we made it back to Belfast, and that made leaving a little harder.
Her face grew serious as she looked at me. "What's going on? Is everything alright?"
"I'm going to go away for a while…with Edward," I said, squeezing her fingers.
"I don't know if that's a smart idea or a stupid one," she murmured, her lips in a tight line.
"Neither do I," I shook my head. "But we're leaving, right now."
"All right," her eyes flickered between me and Edward, who had joined me at my side. "Will you call me? When you reach wherever you're going?" she asked, her eyes imploring.
"Yeah," I nodded, swallowing. "Stay safe, yeah? I love you."
We embraced, tight, and I could feel her trembling through our heavy clothes. This was the last I'd see her, at least for awhile, and I wanted desperately to keep my emotions under control 'til we were in the car. Alice and I'd had a strange few weeks; we were used to leaning on one another for comfort and that was all about to change. We'd cried more than a few times, and the last thing we needed was another outburst, here in the hospital lobby.
I left Edward with Alice and went to Mum, tapping on her arm to get her attention.
"Ready?" she asked, looking distractedly toward the door. I pulled her away from the others, over to an adjacent hallway.
"I'm leaving Belfast with Edward today," I blurted. "For a little while."
She stared blankly at me. "Now?"
I nodded nervously, chewing on my thumbnail. She gently removed my hand from my mouth and shook her head. "Well, you're old enough to go," she said, her eyes searching mine. "And ye know I'll be prayin' for you…but…" she paused as her voice broke. "Emmett's leavin' too isn't he? And Rose?"
"I think so," I whispered, wiping a tear from my eye. "I'm sorry…"
I hated that I was doing this to her, but I had to believe that it would have happened eventually. Like the natural separation from Alice, this too was a part of leaving childhood behind. Still, none of that made it sting any less… and it saddened me to imagine her and Da, alone in what was once a loud, full house.
But as always, her fortitude surprised me. "I understand, love, more than you know. Tis safer elsewhere at this rate. "
"I just…I can't be away from him," I said, forcing a deep breath to clear the tears.
"Shh, I know," she soothed, giving me a brisk hug. "Go. I'll…explain to Charlie." She rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes, giving me a watery smile. "Make sure he takes good care of you."
She looked over at Edward, motioning him over.
"Ye know we love you like our own, but Charlie's not going to like you shackin' up with his daughter. I know this out of necessity, but make it right," she said, giving him a quick hug.
He hugged her back, squeezing her. "I'll take proper care of her. We'll call along the way," he promised, looking flushed at her words.
"Em and Rose are takin' a different car, but we'll meet up soon as we're in the Republic," Edward said as we walked out of the lobby.
The whine of sirens pierced the air as another ambulance pulled into the parking lot. It had gotten busier at Royal Victoria since we'd first arrived and I purposely looked away, not wanting to have another sad scene to replay itself in my mind's eye later.
Wordlessly we walked to the Land Rover, our hands clasped between us. What had started as a dreary morning had brightened into a cool, cheery afternoon, the sky an unapologetic blue. Edward bent his head to kiss me before we got into the car, but the too-close sound of an engine backfiring startled us both.
Edward pitched toward me, his face contorted. Before I could ask him what was wrong, I heard a strange, silvery whining sound passing dangerously close, followed by two others. Edward jerked against me, using both of his hands to throw me onto the ground. I fell with a heavy thud, the back of my head hitting the asphalt so hard that the pain was eclipsed waves of blackness.
Edward collapsed next to me, moving to cover me with his body. I curled into him, whimpering as cold air licked at the back of my head, intensifying the throbbing.
"Bella," he groaned, lifting his head from my chest long enough to look at me before dropping it again. His face had gone ashy and grey, and panic washed over me.
The sirens had finally stopped, but now there were other sounds. Gunfire peppered the air in a sharp staccato, back and forth, a call and response. Someone was screaming, and I wondered if she had been shot. I heard the same shrill whistle we'd heard the night Edward had come to get me, when the strange car had passed outside my house. Edward had explained later that it was Donal Murry's signal, the way he alerted the others something was wrong. It was too late though, this time.
Through it all I could hear Emmett's voice, yelling, and footsteps thundering toward us.
"You okay?" Edward asked hoarsely, unable to open his eyes. My left arm stung, but I was more concerned with him.
"I think – are you….Edward. Edward," I cried, loosening my arms from around him so I could push the hair from his face.
There was blood all over my hand. Gasping for air, I looked down at my own body, but I couldn't see much of anything. Edward was in black, so it was impossible to see where he was bleeding, but by the way he was slumped, his breathing shallow, I knew he'd been shot.
I began feeling lightheaded and nauseated. Emmett and Seamus appeared, staring down at us, and my urge to pass out grew stronger.
"No," I growled, vexed my body would give out at a time like this. "No."
Edward squeezed my hand, and I tried to sit up. But Emmett pushed me gently down, cradling my head in his lap. Seamus was at Edward's side, pressing his fingers all over him.
They were saying things; their mouths were moving and Em was touching my forehead, but I couldn't help it. My face felt so cold. I realized before fainting it was because my cheeks were wet with tears.
Feeling hands prodding my neck and scalp, I dragged my eyes open.
Medics were all around us, talking in terms I didn't understand.
"Is he okay?" I asked, but no one heard me. And if they did, they didn't answer me.
I was lifted on to a stretcher and wheeled back into the hospital. "Try and stay awake, Bella," someone said, but it was so difficult. All I wanted to do was close my eyes, but a nagging feeling kept me awake, although not alert.
"Emmett?" I cried, twisting my neck to look for him.
A pair of gentle but firm hands kept my head and neck in place. "You mustn't move 'til we determine the extent of your injuries."
"Okay," I yawned.
"Stay awake, Isabella…."
I couldn't.
Slowly I awoke, instantly grateful for the soft, dim lighting. I appeared to be alone, and that terrified me for many reasons. Where were Mum and Da? Emmett? Alice?
Edward?
If no one was with me, who would stop someone from coming in and finishing the job?
The back of my head felt as if someone had taken a hammer to it. I abandoned my attempt at sitting up with a small gasp, dazed by how acute the pain was.
"Bella?" Alice's distraught voice was suddenly beside me. "Bella?"
She held one of my hands between both of hers and I opened my eyes, squinting at her. Her face was red and very puffy; she'd been crying for awhile.
"Where's Edward?" I asked, my voice cracking. "How long have we been here?"
"Just a few hours… you keep waking up and falling asleep, but it could be the pain medication. They had to make sure you didn't have a concussion."
"Do I?" I swallowed thickly.
She nodded. "But the doctor said it was minor, yer lucky. You've a nasty knot on the back of yer head, though. And… and your arm. You," she paused, wiping fresh tears off of her face. "A bullet grazed your arm, nothing serious."
While I remembered clearly what had happened in the parking lot, what Alice was saying shocked me. For so long I'd been living with the possibility of being harmed or arrested or something worse, but I supposed I'd never thought it would actually happen.
She hadn't mentioned Edward.
All the nights I'd prayed for him, the days I'd worried myself sick while he was away or out in the streets, and he'd been shot down in my arms. I needed to see him now, to touch him. Maybe he was in a nearby room…
"Alice," I begged, pulling her closer. "Where is he?"
She looked sadly down at me. "He's gone, he-"
My heart stopped and I took several breaths, trying to ease the agonizing flash of pain that trembled through my body.
Gone…?
"Judas Iscariot, Bella, I didn't mean gone I– I mean, he's alive! He's gone away. Da took him," Alice rambled. "He was shot twice in the arm and once in the shoulder. They managed to remove the two bullets that were still inside his body…"
"I thought he was shot three times?" I sobbed, trying to make sense of it.
"The very first bullet went clean through – they think it's the one that grazed you," she explained.
"But where is he?" I whimpered, losing it. Sobs wracked my body, making my head, and my heart, ache.
An overhead light went on, hurting my eyes, and a doctor strode in, followed by two nurses.
"Isabella? I'm Dr. Jenks. How are you feeling?" he asked cordially, pausing at my bedside.
"Like shite," I groaned, trying to regain a modicum of composure. It wasn't working; I was hysterical.
Dr. Jenks frowned, glancing quickly at Alice before returning his attention to me. "If you're in a good deal of pain, and ye probably are, I can introduce a stronger pain medication. I didn't want to do it 'til I was sure your head injury was minor."
"It hurts…" I trailed off as he spoke quickly to one of the nurses.
"I'll be back in a moment," he assured me, smiling sympathetically. The nurse carefully propped me up, placing pillows behind my back, and handed me two pills with a small cup of water.
"This should help, love," she said kindly, waiting as I swallowed down the pills.
Alice hovered back until the nurses had left. "I'm going to get your Mum; she went to get something to eat."
"Alice," I groaned, frustrated at the pleasant but cloudy sensations the morphine was producing. "Where is he?"
"Da took him down to our aunt in Cork. It's too dangerous in Belfast now, I mean, Japers they tried to kill him, Bella!" she shook her head, pausing. "He can hardly defend himself with his arm and shoulder all shot up."
"But how can he travel like that?" I asked hysterically, gutted at the reality that he had, in fact, left me behind.
"He shouldn't have, but Da couldn't take any chances. He tending to the wounds as they drive," she said. "My parents wouldn't let him stay any longer than he had to. Emmett and Rose left before he did."
Overwhelmed, I closed my eyes, wishing I could disappear into nothingness.
We'd been so close.
I should have known better.
"Bella," Alice whispered, kissing a tear I hadn't realized was railing down my cheek. "He didn't want to leave you behind."
"Where's your Mum?"
"Outside, with your Mum and Da. Do you…want her?"
I didn't know what I wanted. Maybe the pills were scrambling my brain worse than the fall had.
"Bella?" Alice stroked my cheek, careful not to put weight on my bed.
One of my arms was bandaged and stiff, so I used the other one to grip her hand. "Please stay with me."
"I will."
That night was surreal…and a bit of a nuisance. Every hour I was jostled into consciousness so that Dr. Jenks or one of the nurses could shine a light in my eyes or feel the bump on my head or check my arm. And even if they had left me alone, I wouldn't have been able to sleep soundly; thoughts of the day kept running through my mind: voices, images, sounds.
Of course I was glad Edward had gotten away safely. Of course prayers of thanks for my own survival were on my lips every time I had a quiet moment.
But I'd gotten so used to Edward being with me, or expecting him any minute, that the uncertainty was tearing a hole in my chest. I felt as if my heart was breaking, and I knew that was stupid because he hadn't left on his own volition…but he had left all the same.
I wanted one or the other, and here I was trapped in a purgatory of sorts.
My mother relieved Alice sometime late into the night. Jasper came to take Alice out, and though she was reluctant to leave my side I encouraged her to go. I didn't even feel bad anymore; I wanted to leave but I wasn't keen on returning home.
My father set himself up right outside my door, and didn't plan to leave until I left. He explained to me that he'd seen enough in his time to know that all it took was a second and someone dodgy could be in my room. Every so often one of the boys, like Deklan Crowley and Donal Murry, would come through. Even Tyler made an appearance, managing to be the first one to make me laugh when he pointed out that we'd switched places.
Night time tended to be the worst, because everyone was asleep while I fought with insomnia. Because of the pain medications, I napped intermittently during the day, which disrupted my sleep cycles at night. Mum or Alice usually dozed off beside me in the hideously uncomfortable chair, adding guilt to my ongoing litany of negative emotions. And then there were the thoughts I simply could not turn off. Edward was constantly on my mind; I wondered how he was doing, if he was bed-ridden or up and about, if he missed me like I missed him.
On the very beginning of the third day, when I was near out of my bloody mind with boredom and anxiety, Carlisle appeared at my bedside. Despite his haggard, unshaven appearance, he looked so like Edward my heart hurt. He had been driving almost nonstop for days and was the last person I expected to see.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, smiling.
Physically, I was doing much better, but emotionally I was a mess. I'd been carefully controlling my feelings and reactions for months and now that I'd let it all go, I couldn't seem to get it back. It was as if half a year's tears were finally overflowing.
"Fine," I said, unable to stop myself from crying again. "I miss him."
Carlisle's carefully constructed façade fell, and he took a deep, shuddering breath. "I know, love. He's been beside himself with worry for you as well."
"But he knows I'm okay?"
He nodded. "Dr. Jenks said you're free to go home today, as long as you stay in bed for a few days."
"But what will I do then?" I asked quietly, looking down at my hands. "How is he doing? How is his arm?"
"Healing. I put it in a sling before I left."
"So he's all right?"
Carlisle didn't answer right away. He walked over to my window and gazed out, his hands in his pockets.
"You had plans to go with him," he mused.
I frowned. "He didn't tell you?"
"He did. Many times," he smiled ruefully at me. "I have to wonder, Bella, if ye truly know what you're takin' on. You see what happened, and you've only been together a few months."
"No one ever knows what they're takin' on…" I said, shrugging. "My place is with him, and if that's what he wants too I won't stay away."
Carlisle smiled tightly. "He's lucky to have you."
He left as quickly as he had come in, leaving me bewildered. Carlisle had always loved me, the same way my parents loved Alice. Did he mean I was a good match for him in general? Or in the context of this life we were living? Or did he think it was truly unwise of me to proceed with his son, seeing the sort of danger we were always in? I made a mental note to ask Alice, or maybe even Esme.
Mum helped me take my first shower in days. Afterwards, she combed my hair as gently as she could, careful to avoid the swollen area on my head. Alice had brought me loose pants and a shirt; never had I been so thankful for something so simple. I was sick of hospital gowns. I couldn't imagine what it would be like had I been truly sick, or afflicted with a more serious injury. Three days was more than enough time for me, and I suspected the only reason I'd even been kept that long was because Carlisle had called in a favor- I wasn't the only one suspicious of what waited for me outside the walls of Royal Victoria.
Deklan and Donal came in to my room as twilight fell outside.
"Hi," I said uncertainly, wondering if they had spoken to Edward recently.
"Hey, Bella," Donal said, smiling briefly. "You've your bag?"
I had; it had been retrieved from the Land Rover and brought to me by someone soon after the attack in the parking lot.
"Yeah, why?"
"If you still want to go, it has to be now, yeah?" Deklan said, looking around the room until he spotted my bag. He picked it up, nodding toward me.
Surprised and slightly confused, I slid unsteadily off the bed.
Mum and Da came in; my mother had been crying.
"Ye should go, love. They'll bring you to Emmett," Da explained grimly. He walked over to me, smoothing my hair down. "We love you, and we don't want you so far away, but it's just not safe anymore. You'd do well to leave awhile."
"All right," I whispered, giving him a hug. Mum nudged her way in and we held each other for a bit. I felt her placing something into my hand, and when I looked, I saw it was a box of fresh scones. Anguish ripped through me as I considered the fact that I mightn't have these for a very long time.
"Thanks, Mum," I whispered, crying onto her shirt. Da cleared his throat, patting my back affectionately.
"Go on," he said, giving me a soft push toward the boys, who were waiting by the door. "Give me a ring once ye've dropped her off," he told them.
"Aye, Charlie, we will," Donal said with a nod. He turned to me, tilting his head. "D'ye need a hand, or have ye got it?"
"My legs are fine," I teased.
"Please call," my mother cried softly. I turned half way to reassure her, trying to smile.
"I promise."
We left in a vehicle I was unfamiliar with; apparently Donal had traded with his brother for the night. It was old and drafty, but I had a pillow and old blanket to keep me warm. Wanting to rest as much as possible during what was sure to be a very long night, I took an extra dose of my pain pills as soon as I settled into the backseat. Deklan had graciously offered me the front, but I told him it would be better for him to take it so they could talk and I could sleep.
Before long, the bumps and turns of the road lulled me into a better sleep than any I'd had in the hospital. Perhaps it was the knowledge that I was going somewhere safer, or that I could be with Emmett and Rose. I felt that if I was with them, in a way, I'd be one step closer to Edward. I knew he missed me too, and while it bothered me that I hadn't spoken to him since the day in the parking lot, I understood that it simply hadn't been prudent.
Deklan woke me roughly two hours later; we were approaching the border.
"They're tryin' to enforce the border lately, but we should be okay," he explained. "We're takin' a smaller road."
My heart leapt into my mouth. "What would happen if we got caught?"
"They'd search the car," Donal answered.
I pulled the blanket further up, as if it would shield me. "But…"
"It's fine, Bella. We know a good route; 'tis the same one your brother took the other day," he said. "They're feckin eejits anyway, the border's too bloody long for them to control."
"It's a shorter trip than I thought," I said, yawning and turning onto my other side. I'd been lying down for days now, it was getting ridiculous.
No one spoke for the next half hour. Eventually Donal pulled off of the main road and began down a smaller country lane. He pulled up in front of a tiny, rustic bed and breakfast.
"I think this is it," he said hesitantly, opening the door. He ran inside, leaving Deklan with me. Soon he and Emmett came outside, and I clamored out of the back seat.
I'd never been as ecstatic to see my brother as I was then. He hugged me very gently, rubbing my back. To my surprise, he'd tears in his eyes when he backed away. "Ye don't know have feckin' worried I've been, Bella. That was the worst day of my life, so it was."
"Probably mine too," I admitted, palming away my own tears before the bleedin' waterworks started up. "Is Rose okay?"
"She's fine, yeah," he said, resting his arm around my shoulder. "You stayin'?" he asked the boys.
"Nah, we need to get back. Nothing fer us down here," Deklan grinned, clapping the top of the car with his hand. "We need to call yer Da, though, let him know she's here."
"Right, come on," Emmett said, taking my bag from Donal. We walked into the inn, where Em pointed out the phone to Donal before turning to me. "She's right upstairs in number four."
I gave both Donal and Deklan quick hugs, thanking them for taking a chance and bringing me safely to Emmett. They shrugged it off as it were nothing, and maybe to them it was, but it meant a lot to me. Had we been stopped for any reason by the authorities, they'd have been the ones to bear the brunt of it.
Rose opened the door immediately, as if she'd been waiting right next to it. She beamed when she saw me, the golden glow of the little room making her appear angelic.
"Oh, my God, Bella," she breathed, embracing me. "How are you feeling?"
"Everyone keeps askin' that," I sighed. "I'm okay, more worried about Edward than anything."
"Yeah, he took it bad didn't he. He's a lucky one," she remarked.
"He really is," I agreed, kicking my shoes off and lying down. Rose cuddled beside me, bringing the covers up over the two of us.
"How are you?" I asked, reaching out to touch her belly. "And baby? Have ye thought up any names yet?"
"Pshh, we can't agree on anything," she rolled her eyes. "Everything Em wants is desperately patriotic or feckin' medieval. "
It felt good to laugh a bit. If there was anyone that could provide me with laughter, it was my goon of a brother.
"I'm glad you're here," Rose whispered, her eyes glassy with unshed tears.
"Don't cry, Rose," I begged, grabbing her hand. "I've been crying for days….I can't do it anymore."
"I'm sorry; I'm just… so relieved. Emmett's been a pain in the arse ever since we got here," she said, halfway between a giggle and a sob.
"Do you think I might see Edward soon?" I asked her, feeling a little desperate.
"You'll see him tomorrow, Bella. We'll take the train," Emmett answered, shutting the door to the room behind him.
"Really?" I sat up, smiling so wide my face hurt. "Does he know?"
"Of course he knows, who d'ya think has been plannin' and plottin' this shite since day one?" he chuckled, dropping onto the bed to wiggle his way between Rose and me.
"Watch it, ye can't be jumpin' around like that," Rose admonished gently. "Her head…"
"Ah, that's right, I'm sorry," Emmett said contritely, wincing. "How's it feelin'? Edward really shoved ye hard, I should do the same t'him."
"Yeah, well, it's better than bein' dead now isn't it," I said, resting my head on a pillow.
Rose tucked the blanket in around me, already seeming so maternal. "Get some rest, love, we've a big day tomorrow."