Too Deep For Tears- Chapter 21
When Sherlock got to their room, he heard water – Molly must be running a bath. He walked to the doorway and knocked, waiting until she opened the door. Molly greeted him in her dressing-gown, smiling as she said, "Oh, good, you've come to bed - I was just running a bath for you – I know you must be achy after today, and there is only a shower stall in the room you had been using. Why don't you come have a soak and I can wash your hair and then maybe give you a massage after?"
Sherlock hesitated just a beat before he realised that he was achy, and tired, and just didn't want to go on being so afraid of Molly looking at his scars any more. So he quietly undressed and sat in the large old-fashioned soaking tub. He leaned back against the end of the tub and closed his eyes. The warmth felt marvellous. Molly knelt down by the tub, holding a sponge. "Did you want me to bathe you?" she asked. "I just thought - you look so worn out suddenly..."
Blushing, he nodded and closed his eyes again. Molly soaped the sponge and began to carefully wash him, one section of his body at a time, like one might do with a young child. At first, he tensed, but after a few minutes, as he realised she wasn't staring at him with pity in her eyes, he was able to relax more completely. Molly asked him to sit up so she could wash his back, and he complied. By the time she took his shampoo and poured a bit out into her palm, he actually leaned into her hand in his hair, relishing the sensation. When she was through, Molly handed him a towel for his hair and when he had got most of the water out, handed him another for him to dry off with, and turned to get his dressing-gown so that he could exit the tub. He wrapped the towel around his hips and stepped over to the mirror to clean his teeth, noticing that she had brought his shaving kit into the now-shared loo. He cleaned his teeth and used the peppermint mouthwash he favoured whilst Molly sat again on the toilet lid and watched, occasionally chatting about their day in the village.
Sherlock had to admit, this did feel more comfortable than he thought it might. It was much the same as when he used to drop in and stay at her flat while he was working on demolishing Moriarty's web. He sighed again, feeling so much tension leaving him after such a long time, that he was suddenly even more fatigued as a result. The embarrassment about her viewing his body had largely vanished, leaving him surprisingly relieved. He fussed with his hair for a few minutes, putting in a moisturising treatment so the curls didn't get bushy and unruly. Molly watched him with a slight smile – he was not terribly depressed if he cared about his appearance, and she loved his curls. He did need a haircut soon, his hair was longer than she had ever seen it. Truthfully, she liked long hair on men, but she knew Sherlock would never have left it this long if his mind hadn't been so preoccupied. She made a mental note to suggest he cut it - she didn't know where he usually got it cut, but knowing the Holmes', he may have someone come to the house.
Finally, he walked into the bedroom and saw that Molly had laid his pyjamas out on the bed for him. He put them on without turning away from her and got into bed, turning onto his side so that he was facing her. His eyes were heavy as soon as his head hit the pillow, and Molly cuddled into him and patted his chest. Sherlock bent his head and kissed her, and that was the last he knew until the morning light came through the curtains.
When he woke up, Molly had already gone downstairs. Sherlock made a quick trip to the loo and then followed. Molly was sat at the table, reading, with a cup of tea at her elbow. When she saw him, she smiled and jumped up to greet him with a kiss, asking what he wanted for breakfast. Sherlock replied that an omelet would be nice, and Molly set about making one for the both of them, chopping up some bacon and cheese to add to the egg mixture. She also put some toast in the toaster so it would be finished by the time the eggs were cooked. Sherlock sat while she fixed him a mug of tea and started the crossword in the morning paper.
When the omelet was served, Sherlock ate about half of it. After all the indulging yesterday, it was as much as he could manage. At least he didn't have to pretend to like her cooking, he thought. He may not eat sometimes due to a case, but it wouldn't be because the food was lacking.
Molly finally spoke to him. "So, Sherlock, how did you feel after your bath? You seemed to relax in there - you looked much better, although knackered. I hope you're all right with the fact that I moved some of your things over, it seems only right that we should now share the en-suite. I'd planned to give you a massage as well, but you were nearly asleep by the time you finished your bath and shave. I can do that for you any time, if your legs are hurting, or if you just want a back-rub."
"Yes, Molly, it was very nice to have a good soak after so long. I didn't realise how much I had missed it until I sat in the tub and felt the warm water. I'm sorry I've been so – ridiculous about this. I do feel much better now that it's just the two of us here. I'm trying..." he trailed off and looked away.
"Oh, no, love, I wasn't trying to rush you into anything! I honestly just wanted you to have a nice warm soak. I know you always used to enjoy a good bath when you had a chance, before. You just looked like you were hurting," Molly said, moving over to place an arm around his waist. "What I said to you before still stands, Sherlock - there is no time limit, no pressure – and if we can only go so far, forever, then it will be fine. I am not giving up on us, even if we are a little unconventional - all right? It's nobody's business but ours what we share together. I love you, so very much, and that will never change."
Sherlock sat there, blushing a deep shade. "Molly, I really don't deserve you. You are the only person in my life, except Mycroft, who has never given up on me. I do still have hope that we can be – closer - one day soon, but when I start thinking about it, I get so anxious that I just freeze."
"Maybe you need to stop thinking so much – that big brain of yours gets in the way sometimes, doesn't it? Maybe just let yourself relax, and just feel sometime," Molly said softly. "I'll still be here, either way – and you've proposed now, can't get rid of me too easily now, you know." She grinned at him and waggled her ring finger at him, and he nodded, arching a brow at her.
"Yeah, I've really boxed myself in there, haven't I?" he replied, sounding a bit lighter in mood. "Since you are apparently here permanently, do you want to go for a walk?" He walked out to the closet and got their coats, and they headed out towards the koi pond.
The day was breezy but otherwise fair, and Molly and Sherlock walked in the gardens until they reached the koi pond. The bright fish were milling around as usual, and when they realised they had visitors, they came to the side nearest Molly and pushed and shoved at each other to get closer. She looked up at Sherlock, who smiled and held out his hand, filled with fish food, as usual. She knelt down to feed the greedy koi, giggling as they mouthed at her fingers.
"If you like that, wait until you try the large pond farther in the back of the place - we can swim there in the warm weather, and those fish will nibble at your toes, but they are quite safe, they have no teeth to speak of and don't bite," Sherlock murmured in her ear as he sat on the bench beside where she was kneeling.
Molly grinned. "Oohh, that sounds a bit scary, but I'm game for it – if you say they won't hurt me, I trust you. That could be a great way to spend a warm day, maybe lying out on towels afterwards for a bit of sun. We could bring a picnic lunch – it sounds lovely, Sherlock! Now, I will think about this when we are having nasty winter weather, and look forward to it. Thank you, love," she said, turning and kissing him on the tip of his nose. She then put her arm around him and hugged him, saying, "You do know I'm never letting you go now, it's all a part of my clever plan."
"I had suspected as much – consulting detective, remember?" laughed Sherlock. "What if it is a part of my clever plan to ensnare you more closely, eh?"
"Oh, you are a devious man! Well, then we'll just have to stay very close together so we can each spy on the other, how about that?" said Molly, playfully, enjoying this lighter side of Sherlock. She hadn't seen this for far too long. He even looked better and brighter somehow – she hoped the mood would stay a while, he certainly deserved to feel light-hearted for a change.
"Hmmm – I think that could work out very well, yes," he answered in that low rumble that always set her heart aflutter, and bent to kiss her for a long moment. After that, they just stayed on the bench for a while, holding each other, and watching the fish twisting and turning in the sun-dappled water.