AN: I'm in such a good mood! I don't know why! The next chapter will have…wait for it…Peeta/Katniss. I'm actually going to write a pairing I don't like. It's not like I hate it, but it'll be pretty hard to write. I just have too much of Gale and not enough of Peeta.
Katniss didn't really know how she had come to the conclusion that spoons were to blame for the electrified fence, but it seemed like the only logical answer at the time. It couldn't be because the Peacekeepers had seen her going into the woods and had electrified the fence for the sole purpose of catching her out there. No, of course that wasn't it. Because Katniss hadn't been stupid enough to get caught.
That was when she spied the sign she had stuck to the fence when she had gone into the woods earlier. It said "KATNISS EVERDEEN IS IN THE WOODS. DO NOT DISTURB." in bright pink letters for everyone to see. Her mom might have wanted to come looking for her and Katniss wanted her to know exactly where she was.
Katniss wanted to charge through the fence and face the spoons head on. Maybe she would be able to talk some sense into them. And after they were all friends again, maybe they could join hands and sing happy songs. Katniss would even invite the hobo who lived next to her house. Most of the people in the Seam were pretty poor, but this guy was even worse off. Though that might be because he was insane and kept yelling, "I'm going to Vegas, baby," at odd moments.
Katniss paused to admire her reflection in a small mirror she pulled out of her purse. She was momentarily stunned by her beauty.
"Oh, Katniss, your beauty could start wars," she said to herself.
"Aww, Katniss, what a nice thing to say. I am beautiful, aren't I?" she replied.
"Hey! I'm prettier than you are!" she protested indignantly.
"Nuh-uh. You have that awful zit on your nose!"
Katniss gasped. "OMG! How dare you bring that up!"
"In your face, sucker," Katniss said, laughing.
"Ohemgee. You have a zit on your nose too!" Katniss pointed at her face so the other Katniss could see where the blemish was.
Katniss touched her nose self-consciously then wailed. "Why oh why must I develop a zit?"
"That's so weird. Our zits are in the exact same spot and look exactly the same," Katniss said in wonder.
Katniss looked thoughtful. "Yeah, now that I think about it, we look exactly the same!"
"Who would've thought?"
Katniss was brought back to reality by a rise in the volume of the buzzing noise that was coming from the fence. Katniss thought about her situation and decided that there were only a few options.
1) Call for help.
2) Climb a tree to try to get over the fence.
3) Put on makeup and wait.
4) Give Sue-Mary over as a sacrifice and hope that any watching deities would shut off the electricity.
5) Enlist the help of dancing, singing woodland creatures.
Katniss would've picked option 5, but then she noticed that there were no singing animals around. It was a sad time when even squirrels wouldn't sing. Katniss wasn't going to sacrifice her bestest friend in the whole world, so option 4 was out. If she called for help, a lot of people would come and see her in her ugly state (for she had twigs in her hair and her clothes were dirty). Option three didn't seem very appealing because Katniss was hungry, so that left option 2.
Katniss had no athletic ability whatsoever.
This should be fun!
Katniss looked at the trees surrounding her, trying to find one that was high enough to fit her needs. While she was walking around the perimeter of the woods, she found a squirrel and promptly decided to ask it for help. "Hello, Mr. Squirrel. Can you show me the way to a tree that's high enough to get me over the fence but short enough so that I won't die falling from it?"
The squirrel just stared at her with its head cocked to the side, the universal sign for "Who's this crazy idiot talking to me?" Then it ran away, leaving Katniss flummoxed. She thought all squirrels liked to randomly burst into song. She sighed. Guess I'll have to find a tree on my own…
Skirting along the tree line, she finally noticed it. There were many branches sticking out of it, so Katniss hoped she wouldn't have too much trouble climbing it…At first, she tried climbing with her purse still slung over her shoulder and failed, falling to the ground in a heap. Her second attempt was just as pathetic. Finally, she sat her purse on the ground next to the tree and grabbed a branch firmly with both hands. She began to try to hoist herself up, telling herself that she would try to get her purse afterward, even though that would be difficult.
Suddenly, Katniss heard loud chirping. Mockingjays, she thought. There were about five of them. The grabbed the strap of her bag between their beaks and flew off with it. Katniss froze in shock. Her bag had so much…stuff in it! Katniss would miss all of that..stuff. Because stuff was easy to miss. The mockingjays flew up high into the branches of the tree, their wings moving in synchronization. In fact, Katniss would have thought it looked pretty if she wasn't so horrified. As if they shared one brain, the mockingjays stopped flying at exactly the same time, when they were about 25 feet in the air. They set Katniss' bag down on one of the branches and flew off, happy that they had made Katniss' life harder. They vowed to tell their leader to he should make it a new reality TV show. "Making Katniss' Life Even Harder Than It Already Is". So many mockingjays would tune into their tiny mockingjay TVs to see Katniss get put in her place.
Katniss stared at her purse, wondering if she could somehow use a Harry Potter spell to get it down. "Accio," she muttered, concentrating with all her might. But still, the bag remained unmoved. Katniss felt her shoulders slump in defeat and began to climb up slowly, inch by inch. Well, at least now she had motivation. She would stop the spoon invasion. Then everyone would bow to her and thank her for her good deeds. In climbing up the tree, she acquired many scratches that would mar her prettiness. Katniss wondered if there was a Harry Potter spell to make her pretty again. Finally, she reached her bag. She pulled the strap over her shoulder and sighed in relief.
Then she looked down.
All sense of relief fled her body.
Katniss had never been scared of heights before, but that was back when she had only a slim chance of falling from something. Now, falling was her purpose. She could break important bones and die. Katniss looked around frantically. Still no singing woodland creatures. She cursed pinkly under her breath and jumped, closing her eyes.
Katniss probably would've broken her legs if strong arms hadn't caught her. Instead of landing on the hard ground, Katniss found herself in someone's arms. Someone who smelled strongly of alcohol. Someone who was wearing an itchy wool coat. She opened her eyes tentatively, afraid of what she would find. She found the smiling face of that hobo who lived next to her house smiling down at her, his teeth yellow and his breath stinky.
Even though her current position was definitely not where she wanted to be, she tried for diplomacy. After all, this person had saved her from pain.
"Thank you, Mr. Hobo." Katniss couldn't think of another name for the man. "Um…thanks for saving my life. Sorry for not knowing your name." She finished with what she hoped was a charming smile.
"Actually, Mr. Hobo is actually my name. Charles Hobo at your service, little missy," the hobo said, still smiling. His brown hair was balding, and his blue eyes looked a little…crazed. Okay, if that wasn't creepy, Katniss didn't know what was.
"Um…can you let me go? I need to get home…" Katniss said nervously, hoping this guy wasn't a serial killer. Mr. Hobo consented and set her down. Though "let go of her and let her fall on her butt" would be more accurate.
Katniss pouted. Falling on her butt was not on her list of favorite things to do. The soon-to-be hero of District 12 shouldn't suffer such indignities.
"Um…thanks? You can go now." Katniss stood up, brushing herself off, wishing that there was a quick way to get the stench of hobo off of her.
The hobo walked away without so much as a good-bye. After he was almost out of sight, he suddenly yelled, "I'm going to Vegas, baby," at the top of his lungs.
Katniss shook her head in pity. She worried to the mental health of that man.
She began walking back home, already planning which songs she and the spoons could sing after she stopped the spoon takeover. Walking on Sunshine and We Are the Champions were good choices. If someone was really walking on sunshine, they'd fall and die…she thought. Then she shrugged and walked on. When she got to her house, she paused in front of the front door. Katniss was well aware of the fact that the spoons might have already invaded her home. She should keep quiet and tread carefully in case the spoons didn't want to talk to her. Of course, that was the smart thing to do (even though assuming that spoons had taken over the district wasn't smart in the first place).
What she actually did was another story.
Katniss knocked on the door and rang the doorbell simultaneously, creating a racket. "Open the door, you spoons! Come out and face me!" she yelled.
Suddenly, the door opened. Katniss was prepared to see a giant spoon, but instead, she came face-to-face with a Peacekeeper.
"OMG, you're a spoon disguised as a Peacekeeper!" she realized, clapping a hand to her mouth in shock. She started to tug at the Peacekeeper's face, believing that he was hiding a mask to hide his true identity.
"What are you doing, you bitch?" the Peacekeeper cried, wrenching his face away from Katniss. Katniss looked down in her hands. The mask hadn't come off. The spoons were getting better at dressing up as humans.
"Show your true identity, you spoon!" Katniss demanded, her hands on her hips. She heard footsteps, and suddenly, Katniss' mom, Prim, Haymitch, another Peacekeeper, and Peeta had joined Katniss and the Peacekeeper.
"What are you doing?" Katniss' mom asked, her hand over her mouth.
Katniss pointed an accusing finger at the Peacekeeper. "He's a spoon!" she said.
"Sweetie, he's just a Peacekeeper. Not a spoon," Katniss' mom said.
"OH NO, YOU'VE FALLEN UNDER HIS SPELL!"
Haymitch suddenly started singing Tik Tok to try and relieve the tension in the room.
It didn't work.
"Katniss, where were you?" the Peacekeeper asked.
Katniss gasped. "I'm not going to tell you! You just want to know so you can get your spoon spies to stalk me and convert me to your side. Well, it's not going to happen, mister." Katniss stomped her foot to emphasize her point.
"We're not spoons," the second Peacekeeper said exasperatedly. "We're human."
"That's what they all say," Katniss said suspiciously.
"Look, how many talking spoons have you actually met?"
"Well..,none," Katniss admitted.
"My point exactly."
Katniss' face hardened. "I BET YOU'RE ALL SPOONS! You've converted my family and friends to your side, but you'll never take my soul!" She proceeded to kick the Peacekeeper standing closest to her in the balls. He doubled over, moaning. Haymitch and Peeta winced and decided not to make Katniss mad while she was wearing pointy shoes.
The second Peacekeeper turned to Katniss' mom. "I don't think we're going to get any good information today. How do I get Katniss to shut up?"
Katniss' mom shrugged. "Just knock her out. That's what we've wanted to do from day one."
The Peacekeeper took her gun out and hit Katniss's head as hard as she could. Katniss fell to the ground, and this time, no hobo was there to catch her fall.
Katniss last thought before she blacked out was: I didn't know spoons could hit that hard.
AN: I'm rereading Harry Potter 5. Lol. I'm actually looking forward to writing the next chapter. School started. My Biology teacher keeps saying crap. My friend giggles every time he says it. It wouldn't be so bad if my friend wasn't a boy who giggles like a girl. MOCKINGJAY COMES OUT TOMORROW!
Review?