Now I am going to assume that you, my readers, have been watching SVU and know the story. We have now reached a time in Olivia's life that we all would rather have spared her. I will not be writing a detailed description of what happens to her as it happens, again because I am assuming you know what happened. On the off chance that you really don't, you can just read on and find out bits and pieces as the story progresses, just like Olivia's friends ...
I hope you will appreciate the way I have decided to incorporate the events in this particular story.

...

21.

Elliot couldn't relax. The person next to him must be wondering by now if there was something wrong with him. The plane had taken off with only a five minute delay but even those five minutes had been like an eternity for Elliot. After the initial shock had subsided he had functioned completely on auto-pilot. Kathy had understood that he needed to go right away. She had helped him repack his things, making sure he had everything he would need right away in one suitcase and a duffelbag. She'd be in touch about the rest of his things and had made hotel reservations for him. Kathy made him promise he would let her know about Olivia. She would pray that they would find her in time.

Eli had cried but had accepted that he could not come along this time because daddy needed to find Olivia first. It was all Elliot could focus on now. The first available flight from San Jose was scheduled to leave early the next morning. Elliot had called Captain Cragen, who had told him they were following leads but didn't have a possible location yet. He had given Cragen his number and made him promise to call or text him when there was news, one way or the other.

"Son, I understand you're worried but I can't let you participate in the search," the Captain had told him.

Elliot didn't care. He didn't work for Cragen anymore and he could do whatever he wanted to find Olivia. That was his one and only priority. His flight wasn't a direct flight so he would be underway for at least eight hours. It was still the fastest way to get to New York so he'd taken it.

Elliot remembered what Olivia had told him about William Lewis. How he'd tortured an elderly lady by branding her, and had raped and sodomized her repeatedly for hours on end, until the woman had begged him just to kill her. And he'd had Olivia for three days already. Just thinking about what he might have done to her in that time made him sick. He couldn't even think about the possibility that she might already be dead. He had to do something to keep himself occupied. To do something that would lead to a solution. Otherwise, he felt like he'd explode. His plane would land at JFK mid-afternoon local time that Friday and he knew he would be completely useless until then. He tried to relax but even though he hadn't slept a wink the night before, he just couldn't.

All Elliot could do was pray Olivia was still alive and would be found soon. He'd be there for her, no matter what had happened to her. He made a solemn vow never to leave her side again unless she asked him to. He'd give anything just to see her face again. At one point during his long journey back to the east coast, when he'd closed his eyes again in a desperate attempt to recharge, he could have sworn he heard her call his name. She needed him and he wished he could will the plane to go faster. Please God, don't let her die.

Hours later, he was finally in New York. He was waiting at the luggage carousel for his suitcase and checked the time. It was almost 4 pm, almost 24 hours since he'd heard the devastating news. He checked his phone but there were no messages. As he waited, his eyes drifted towards a television screen displaying the latest news. He blinked a few times and took a few large steps to get closer to the screen. It couldn't be ...

His eyes went wide when he watched the news footage. Breaking news. It was her. It was her! She was being led out of a house by a police officer - her partner? She was still alive. After four days, she was still alive. Images of a man on a gurney appeared on the screen. He looked more dead than alive. Relief flooded his system. She was still alive. The look on her battered face was one of sheer horror though. Elliot's phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket.

"Captain, I just saw the news. I'm at JFK. Which hospital?" he barked into the phone.

"We're at Mercy," was Cragen's brief reply. It was really all he needed to know and his former Captain knew it.

"I'm on my way."

...

Olivia was in a daze. She could hardly remember being led out of the house and taken to the hospital. Yet here she was. The doctors and nurses were finally done poking and prodding her. Her head was pounding, her body ached all over and she felt filthy. Nick had brought her in. Brian was there and she'd spotted Cragen. Everyone else was just a blur of white and pale blue. Brian asked her if she was ready to take a shower and she nodded, accepting his arm to support her. A nurse told her to be careful not to scrub her burns too hard but she ignored the woman. She would have to come back after her shower to have her burns treated and her broken wrist set. She nodded. Brian wanted to help her but she shook no. She could do this. She had to do this, to prove to herself that she had won. She could take a shower on her own.

The hot water was burning her skin. She wanted it that way. To burn away every fibre of him, where he'd touched her, kicked and hit her, burned her and licked her. She scrubbed her burns too hard. She scrubbed her cuts and bruises too hard and her cracked ribs. Even her broken wrist. She'd caused that herself. When she'd struck him, finally unleashing her rage after four days of complete helplessness. She had won and she wasn't going to be deterred by something as trivial as physical pain. She could take it.

She felt dizzy - probably from the concussion - and had to steady herself. No, she had to sit down. Just for a minute. She slid down the shower wall until she was sitting. Brian knocked on the door to ask if she was alright. She could actually use some help getting up again but she didn't want him to see her like this. She was still strong. She had won. She could do this. She tried to push herself up but pain seared through her left arm. Her broken wrist ... and then everything went black.

When she regained consciousness, she was lying in the hospital bed again, all cleaned up. Nick was there.

"What happened?" she asked him groggily.

"You passed out in the shower Liv," Nick told her gently. "While you were out, your wounds were treated."

He pointed at the cast around her left wrist.

"Cassidy is getting you some clothes. He should be back soon."

"Okay."

She noticed Nick was holding her right hand and she looked at him. He gave her a small smile. He pitied her. She didn't want to be pitied. She pulled her hand away. Before Nick could respond to the gesture, they heard some commotion in the hallway. Olivia tried to sit up and Nick pressed the button of the bed so it moved her up into a sitting position. She listened at the voices in the hallway that were getting louder. And then she recognized his voice.

"Elliot ..."

Nick looked at her and asked if she wanted to see Elliot.

"Yes."

Nick got up to walk to the door but before he even reached it, the door burst open.

"Liv!"

"El ..."

Nick stopped the orderly that was trying to stop Elliot from barging in and told him it was okay. Nick closed the door, keeping the orderly out but staying in the room himself. Olivia had reached up her arms without even realizing it. Elliot was here. He had come for her. He was at her side within a second, sitting down on the edge of the bed, and wrapped his arms around her carefully as she wrapped her arms around his neck. They didn't speak. They just held each other and Olivia listened to his breathing in her neck while pressing her cheek against his and breathing in his familiar scent. He was here. Nothing else mattered right now.

Elliot didn't know what he should be feeling. He was immensely grateful and relieved to see Olivia again and to be able to hold her in his arms. But he was terrified to find out what had happened to her. He didn't know for sure yet what that beast had done to her but he wanted to kill the bastard. No, he wanted to make him suffer first, and then kill him. But more than anything, he wanted to be near her. To do whatever he had to, to help her get through this. She was relaxing in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder, and he just held her.

After a few minutes, the door to the room opened again and he looked behind him. Brian Cassidy. He would have to let go of her now.

"Liv. Cassidy's here," he told her.

She opened her eyes slowly and glanced at him before looking at Brian and then let go of him. Elliot stood up and the two men looked at each other. Nick was leaning against the wall and was looking at both of them.

"Stabler."

"Cassidy."

Elliot could tell the man wasn't too thrilled to see him, but it wasn't about them now. Cassidy seemed to realize this as well.

"Thanks for coming," Cassidy said quietly. "Liv needs all the support she can get right now."

She'd been right. The man had matured. Elliot nodded and Brian turned his attention to his girlfriend.

"Liv. I brought you some clothes. You're being released. They'd like you to give your statement right away but if you're not up for it ..."

"Yeah. Yes, I'm up for it. I want to get it over with," Olivia replied quickly.

Cassidy looked at the other men in the room and Elliot knew it was their cue to leave. He was going to help his girlfriend get dressed. Not her partner and not her former partner. She was his girlfriend. Elliot glanced at Olivia but she was looking down at her hands. Elliot retreated with Nick.

"You the new partner?" he asked the dark-haired man as they waited in the hallway.

Nick nodded and extended his hand.

"Yeah, Nick Amaro. You the old partner?"

Elliot smiled while shaking Nick's hand.

"Yeah, Elliot Stabler."

"She says we're a lot alike," Nick told him.

"I know," Elliot nodded. "So I know you'll have her back, not matter what."

"Absolutely."

Elliot could tell that Nick was very shaken up about what had happened. His eyes were flitting from him to the door of Olivia's room to their surroundings and back. Elliot knew the feeling. Nick wanted to hit something.

"So ... how'd he get out?" he asked Olivia's partner.

Nick sighed and took a few steps to sit down on one of the chairs in the hallway.

"Mistrial. There was a mix-up at the lab with the DNA. His lawyer actually posted his bail."

"Bail? How could the judge even set bail?"

Nick was just as frustrated about it as he was and Elliot dropped into the seat next to him.

"Well, he's not getting out now," Nick said.

"No," Elliot grunted. "And if he does, I'll kill him myself."

...

Olivia had tried to give an accurate account of all that had happened since Monday evening but there were a lot of blanks. She'd been passed out a lot from the vodka and pills he'd forced down her throat. And the beatings. She had even spent an entire day in the trunk of a car. The woman taking her statement had been very understanding but she'd still felt self-conscious and exposed. She had left out a few conversations with Lewis that she didn't intend to share with anyone. At least not while she was still so raw.

Cragen had listened in, needing to know what had happened to his detective. She had summarized a lot of things but she knew he'd be asking her about more details in a while. Anything to make sure Lewis would never get out again.

She had lied about that final beating. He had gotten to her. He had made her lose control. She knew he'd try to use it against her and she wished she'd just killed him. In fact, she thought she had. So now she would have to be consistent and hold up the lie. It went against everything she believed in, everything she stood for. Well, everything she used to stand for. She didn't know who or what she was right now. All she wanted to do was sleep. And forget.

"Well, as far as the department is concerned, you're a hero. They're gonna want a press tour as soon as you're up to it," Cragen told her when she was ready to leave.

"And the lawyer's mother?" Olivia asked. That poor woman.

"She's doing better. She's gonna be released from the hospital tonight," Cragen told her.

Olivia thought of what she'd witnessed. What she'd been forced to witness. The murder of the father and the violent, repeated rape and torture of the mother. What a way to thank his lawyer for her help. What he'd done to their home and to them. That place would never feel like home again.

"Where's she gonna go now? She can't go back to that house," she said, trying to get rid of the images in her head, only to have them replaced by others. Of her place.

"Where am I gonna go now?" she asked softly.

"Your place is a crime scene," Cragen said. "The department will put you up in a hotel."

"Okay. For how long?"

Her Captain told her not to worry about it. They had it all covered and it was about her, not money.

"What you've been through, you're on mandatory leave until you recover, and I don't want any arguments," he told her sternly.

"I'm not gonna give you any," Olivia sighed. She didn't have the energy nor the desire.

Brian came in, telling them there was a lot of press outside. He wanted to get her out of there unseen and the Captain agreed.

"Hey, you want to go to a hotel?" Brian asked her softly. She didn't really know what she wanted.

"Ehm ... maybe your place is a better idea," she told Brian. She did know she didn't want to be alone right now.

They walked out of Cragen's office and Olivia fixed her gaze on the exit of the squad room. She knew they were all staring at her. Pitying her. They meant well but she didn't want their pity. She had won. She was still the same person. She wanted to be the same person. But right now, she just wanted to get out of there and sleep. Maybe she would wake up and it would all just have been a bad dream.

...