A/N: As always thanks for the reviews, follows, and faves!

Delicate

Chapter 21: Good

1101 Local

Burnett Residence

La Jolla, CA

Mac looked up from the red pepper she was chopping up when Harm walked into the kitchen. He had gone to shower while she volunteered to get started on lunch. His hair was still damp and tousled, his feet bare. Now clean-shaven, he was dressed in a button down linen shirt and khakis. She thought he looked very "California." He stepped up to her, looking at her progress over her shoulder, then leaned in to kiss her behind her ear. "Looks good, Mac."

She smiled as he gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before he headed to the Sub-Zero refrigerator, opening it and pulling out containers of marinating meat. He set them across from where she stood at the island located in the center of the large and well-appointed kitchen, then brought over a pan of bamboo skewers soaking in water. They were needed for the chicken and vegetable kebabs that were on the menu for today's lunch.

"When did you have time to get that ready?" Mac asked, referring to the pieces of chicken bathing in a heavenly-smelling marinade. She was surprised when he actually blushed.

"Uh, yesterday while you were up in the bath before I— "The flush on his cheeks deepened.

"Oh." Soon her blush matched his and she ducked her head. She focused solely on the zucchini she was now working on, feeling the flutter of butterflies in her stomach. It was going to be hard to keep their relationship less...sexual.

Harm cleared his throat. "Mac? Are you all packed?"

She met his eyes again. "Mostly. I still need to throw on some makeup— "

"You don't have to for me—you're beautiful just the way you are."

"Thanks, Harm—I'm doing it for me. But you're sweet."

She rewarded him with a beautiful smile that lit up her entire face.

Harm returned the smile, the love clear in his eyes. Mac realized then that she had seen that look in his eyes for years—she just didn't know what it meant until now. They grinned at each other stupidly for several seconds before Harm spoke again.

"Why don't you leave the rest of that for me," he said, motioning to the vegetables. "Take care of things upstairs. I'll put the kebabs together and start the grill, alright?"

"Sounds good, Harm." She set her knife down and wiped her hands on the towel next to her. She went around the island to him, then somewhat shyly stretched up to kiss him on the cheek. He turned toward her and caught her lips instead. The kiss was soft and gentle, and they were both careful not to take it too far. She stepped away from him and walked toward the door of the kitchen. She was halfway there before he called her back.

"Sarah?"

She turned around. "Yeah, Harm?"

"I love you."

She was embarrassed when happy tears filled her eyes. "I love you too." She turned toward the door again before any of the tears could fall, heart lighter than it had been in months.

Mac made it through the kitchen door but was suddenly struck by a thought. She whipped around, going back in. "Oh, god, Harm!"

Harm's head came up, concern in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"The bed…my bed…your mom will know…"

"Know what?"

"That I didn't…that we…that I didn't sleep there last night. Oh my god…maybe I should mess it up a bit…"

Harm broke out into loud guffaws.

"It's not funny, Flyboy!"

He laughed even harder as she glared at him. "Dammit, Harm!"

He got himself under control, taking much too long to do so in Mac's opinion. "Don't worry about it, Mac."

"I'm so embarrassed."

"Why?"

Dear lord, was he that dense? "She'll know, Harm. She'll know we had…sex!"

Harm's eyes opened wide and realization seemed to dawn on him.

But then he burst into laughter again. Mac's glare intensified.

"Mac, I'm sure Mom figured out my days as a virgin were numbered when she caught me making out with Mattie Ross down by the pool when I was fifteen."

"And that didn't upset her?"

"Oh, she was furious. The next day she brought home a book from the library about STDs and made me sit there while she showed me pictures of deformed genitalia and told me all about the clap." He shuddered. "It got worse…she made Frank show me how to use a 'prophylactic' because, and I quote, 'if you're going to be running around putting little Harm where he doesn't belong, you should at least know how to protect yourself.' I don't think Frank nor I have eaten a banana since."

Mac chuckled in spite of herself. "I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during that conversation."

He laughed with her for a moment. "Mac, seriously…I think Mom knows there's something between us. When I called her before we left Washington, she asked me if we needed one room or two. She just laughed when I told her 'two.' 'Sure, Harm,' she said...she thinks you are 'quite the girl.'"

His expression turned serious. "I think you are quite the girl, too, Sarah." He wiped his hands on the towel she had used earlier and came around to where she was still standing. He leaned down and whispered close to her ear. "Quite the girl." He kissed her there and took her into his arms, lowering his lips to hers and giving her a kiss that made her toes curl. Once again, they broke it off before it became too heated.

He stepped away from Mac and turned her around by the shoulders, giving her a pat on her bottom. "Now, scoot. Let me get some work done."

She threw him a grin over a shoulder and headed upstairs.

1122 Local

Burnett Residence

La Jolla, CA

Mac returned to the kitchen in time to see Harm putting the last kebab on a platter. He looked up as she entered, flashing his flyboy grin, and in general making her insides melt.

"Hey, Ninja Girl, you want to come out and keep me company while I grill these?" Mac once again felt tears pricking in her eyes. It had been so long since he'd called her that…

"Mac? You okay?" He was instantly concerned and immediately walked around the island to her. A tear escaped, and he brushed it away with the pad of his thumb. "What's wrong, baby?"

Mac gave him a watery smile and shook her head. "No, Harm. I think things are finally right." She saw understanding in his eyes as he pulled her into a tight embrace.

"So where is the grill?" Mac started to follow him out of the kitchen.

"Out on the terrace."

Mac couldn't cover the little gasp that slipped out. She stopped in place. It didn't take Harm long to realize that she wasn't following him anymore. "Mac? It'll be okay."

She nodded. She could do this. Just breathe, Marine.

Harm set the kebabs on a little table near the grill. Mac had managed to make it out the door but immediately sat down on the bench that was near it. It was as far as she was willing to go.

Harm pulled the grill closer to her and made sure it was ready. He started adding the kebabs to it, looking over his shoulder to speak to Mac. "Hey, Mac. It's pretty nice out here…we could eat here and enjoy the view before we have to head out."

"No!" was Mac's immediate response. "No," she said again, her tone a little softer.

"Mac, we're safe here, I promise."

"You can't promise that," she mumbled.

"I suppose I can't, but it'll be okay out here. I'm sure of it."

"Harm…I'd like to, but I just can't. The dream…it was too real, too vivid. I'm not ready yet." She stood up suddenly. "I'm sorry, Harm. Maybe I'll just head back inside, okay?"

Harm hastily put the last kebab on the grill and stepped up to Mac. "Honey, I'm sorry I pushed you." He put his arm around her and used his other hand to grasp her now icy cold one. He eased her back down on the bench, then sat beside her.

He didn't say anything right away, and his expression started to morph in to that serious face he always had on when he was about bring something up that she might not like.

"Mac, your nightmares…you have them a lot." It was more of a declaration than a question.

"Um, not as bad as I first had them…and I hadn't had one of those like I had here for weeks."

"You've had one nearly every time we've spent the night with each other."

She looked at him with confusion. "Harm, I don't remember—"

"No, I got you calmed down before they woke you up. It was…ah…the only time you'd let me hold you."

Her eyes snapped up at his. "What?"

"Mac, it was what would wake me up. You'd start to get restless, talk in your sleep. I'd pull you close, and you'd stop."

"Oh…I didn't know that."

They sat in silence for a moment. "Mac? What are the dreams about?"

"Ummm…they're about Paraguay." Of course.

"I figured. What happens?"

Mac started to fidget in her seat, her fingernails raking up and down her thighs. "Harm, can we not talk about this? Your parents will be here soon."

"They won't be here for another thirty minutes. And I think you should talk about it. Um, are they about Webb…the torture?"

She stared at her lap and nodded. "I listened to him scream for hours…it was…it was awful. I can't get it out of my head."

"I would imagine not. Have you thought about—"

"But sometimes in the dream it would be you being tortured instead…or it was me and you'd be taunting me right along with them…" Her eyes snapped up. "Oh god, Harm. I'm sorry."

His arm around her shoulders tightened and pulled her closer to his body. "Mac, it's okay. You can't help your dreams." He kissed her temple. "Sarah, have you talked to anyone about this?"

"Just Clay. And now you." She spoke into his chest.

"Anyone professionally?" She shook her head after a moment.

"Don't you think you should?"

"I've made it this far without it." Her tone was defensive. Harm started to rub soothing circles over her hand with this thumb.

"Sarah, you mean you didn't even talk to someone right after? No one from the CIA? Admiral Chegwidden didn't insist? You just went back to work after…everything?"

"Yeah, I did. And no, I didn't talk to anyone then. The CIA…well I wasn't really CIA, so… And Admiral Chegwidden…he wouldn't…he didn't…I don't think he cared to…" She so didn't want to talk about the admiral.

"Sarah…I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I assumed they would send you to someone after all of that."

"I'm okay, Harm."

"Mac, just hear me out. I think you do need to talk to someone. Someone who knows about PTSD. I know you aren't sleeping well."

"I've slept fine with you."

"And so have I, with you. But you're still restless and two nights ago…I don't know how many of those you can go through. And you're always just so tired."

"I'll think about it."

"Please do. I mean, I've found it really helpful."

Her head snapped up at that. "You?"

Harm nodded.

"Since when?"

"Um, since after I got fired…after I came to your apartment that week."

"Why?" Mac was a bit shocked that Harm had actually sought out counseling. He was a man, for one, and he could be such the arrogant fighter jock. She had actually thought he should see a counselor several times during their partnership. Losing his father, the long search for answers…that alone would fill a year's worth of sessions. So why can't you allow yourself to seek a counselor's help as well?

Harm sighed. "Mac, you won't want to hear this, and I'm so sorry, but when Webb was in the middle of firing me…I felt such a rage. I'm sorry, Mac. At that moment I felt perfectly capable of killing him. I pictured myself killing him. I was actually afraid that if he stayed around me much longer I would kill him. I, uh, have had to kill with my bare hands…in Paraguay and for…for the CIA…please don't ask me about it, but the idea that I could be capable of that…the fact that I had killed easily before…the missions…and then what I did to you…I knew I needed help. I'd been angry for so long…I basically disappeared from everyone's life, including my parents…I just couldn't keep going on like that. The counseling has really helped. I'm still not…whole, I still have trouble with my CIA time, but my own nightmares are rare now, and look at us! I want you to find some peace again, too, sweetheart. You deserve it. And I am sorry about Webb, what I thought about him. He was once a friend…Um, you know, I actually had my first session that first day I came to JAG to review the Imes cases. I go once a week now."

"Harm, I doubt any of the killing was done 'easily.'" The haunted look in his eyes confirmed that, as did the slight shake of his head. Mac cursed the CIA for what it had done to all of them, to Clay, to Harm, to her. Mac made a decision. If Harm could do it, so could she. She could and should go to a counselor. She still had many reservations, most of which she couldn't even articulate…but to have some peace…to be free of the nightmares…

"Okay, Harm. I'll-I'll go. I'll make an appointment as soon as we get back. I-I promise."

"Wonderful, Sarah." He gave her another squeeze and then withdrew his arm. "Now, I'd better check those kebabs. You okay, now?"

She wasn't, not entirely, but she did feel better. However… "Harm, I still can't eat out here…it's still too fresh. Please…"

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "It's okay, Mac. We'll eat inside. And by eat, I mean actually eat. I worry about you, honey."

"I will, Harm. It smells delicious. I—I've missed your cooking."

Harm went back to the grill, checked on the meat, then closed it back up. On impulse, she left the safety of her bench and put her arms around him from behind. She squeezed him tightly, feeling the comfort of his strong back against her cheek. He covered her hands with his, then turned in her embrace. He leaned down, and his lips brushed hers gently before drawing them in. He slowly deepened the kiss, until she felt his tongue begging entrance to her mouth, and she willingly opened it for him. Their tongues caressed each other for a brief moment, then he drew back a little, his kiss gentling and ending with that soft brush against her lips again. She sighed against his mouth, reveling in the feel of being loved by Harmon Rabb, Jr. She couldn't resist one more touch of his lips, so she reached up for one final kiss.

Which is how Harm's parents found them.

1317 Local

Burnett Residence

La Jolla, CA

"Well, kids, that was wonderful," Trish said, pushing away her plate and dabbing her lips with her napkin. "I'm sorry you have to leave so soon, and I'm sorry we didn't have more time to visit." She smiled warmly at the two younger people at her table. Actually, she hadn't quit smiling since she and Frank had walked in on Harm and Mac kissing. For that matter, neither had Frank. Or Harm. Mac was a bit embarrassed by it all, but Trish's glances at her were still friendly, motherly even, and Trish had told her over their lunch that she was welcome to come back anytime. Frank seconded that.

Harm stood from the table and started picking up plates. "Oh, leave them, sweetie, I'll take care of them." Mac had to grin at Harm's mother's endearment for him.

Harm took Mac's hand and helped her up from her chair in the informal dining room. The room was so elegant to her eyes that she had to wonder what the 'formal' dining room was like. "Well, Mom, Frank. We'd better start heading to the airport, but are you sure we can't help with this?" Harm asked, gesturing to the now mostly empty dishes covering the cherry wood table.

"No, no, Harm. You two need to get going. Your mother and I will clean up." Frank stood up from the table as well. "It was good to have you both, Harm." He held out his hand to his step-son, but instead of shaking the proffered hand, Harm pulled Frank into a brief embrace.

"Thank you, Frank. It was good to be back here again. To see you both."

The foursome walked to the front door, where their bags sat waiting for them. Mac found herself being pulled into a gentle embrace by Frank. He gave her a brief peck on her cheek. "It was good to finally meet you, Mac. Harm has been telling us about you for years." She thanked him for his hospitality, then turned to Harm's mother. Harm had picked up both their bags and had stepped out to take them to the rental car.

"Trish, thank you so much for having us—me. It was lovely here."

"Oh, you're welcome, Mac. And I mean it…come back anytime. Even if you aren't traveling with Harm. You'll always have a place here." Once again Mac felt the prick of tears.

Trish pulled her close in a warm embrace. She kissed Mac's cheek as well, and then whispered something into Mac's ear.

"Welcome to the family, dear."

End Chapter 21