Chapter 20: The Love of My Life is Right Here

I thought I was in heaven.

But that might've been presumptuous of me. Maybe I'd committed so many sins in my life that they out weighed the good Samaritan acts, and I was simply in the waiting room to hell. Or maybe I was in limbo, the world between heaven and hell, and this was simply what it looked like. White.

A LOT of white. With cracks and specks of gray running through it. Almost like ceiling tiles.

I blinked, then realized I wasn't dead. Do dead people feel so damn heavy? Or maybe that was punishment as well… All I had to say was that it sucked. Until a velvety voice spoke.

"Bella?"

In my peripheral vision, I saw copper. Painfully slow (emphasis on painful and slow), I turned my head until I could look at him directly.

Edward, my Greek god, looked like shit. His normally sexy bronze locks were lying limp and greasy against his head, now a hideous brown color. His skin was paler than normal, making him look washed out instead of gorgeous. He wore an obviously borrowed shirt (two sizes two large; probably Emmett's) and dirty jeans. Even his mouth looked defeated. His signature smirk was no where to be seen, and was replaced by a slack-jaw that you get after too little sleep. Dark bags hung under his eyes, which, thank god, were still a beautiful, vibrant emerald green.

"Hi" I managed to croak out.

Relief made his taut body relax, and a smile graced his lips. Using the little strength I had, I stretched my hand until it touched his cheek. It was feather light, but it seemed to energize Edward, whose grin now glowed.

"I thought I'd…we'd lost you." He finished in a tortured whisper. His eyes turned dark, however, when he stated the doctor's findings. "They beat you until you could barely breathe, Bella. Several of your ribs were fractured almost beyond repair, and you suffered from some internal bleeding. Fortunately, the bastards didn't succeed in…what they were doing."

Raping me, I filled in. They wanted to rape me. The horror of that night was finally setting in, and I almost broke down. Before, I was worried about not being pure enough for Edward, how those thugs would seal my relationship with him forever. I knew I could never face him again if they had succeeded. Now, what would have happened, them gang raping me, and then, most likely, killing me, terrified me. I felt vulnerable, susceptible, open to attack. Paranoid, I glanced about the room to reassure myself we were the only ones here.

When my gaze fell on Edward, however, I immediately kicked myself for being selfish. Here I was, worried about my safety, and Edward was still traumatized from saving me.

I gestured toward Edward to help prop me up. He did so worriedly, asking over and over if I was in pain or wanted him to call the nurse. When I was done, I waved my hands over my lap. Talking was still painful, so I would have to utilize my hands instead of my words.

He stood there adorably, completely confused. I sighed, annoyed at my predicament, and carefully dragged his head down until it rested on my lap. His body automatically leaned over my bed, so that he was kneeled on the side. I stroked his hair lovingly, no longer feeling the grease in it. This was Edward, my love, who was distraught and needed comforting.

Softly, I began to hum my lullaby, as he had done for me so many times before. I could see his eyelids succumbing to the soothing tune, but he stubbornly clung to consciousness to say one last thing.

"Bella, I'm sorry I couldn't stop them before they hurt you."

I knew he wasn't referring to them almost raping me. He was beating himself up because he couldn't have been there to stop the attack. My heart swelled with gratitude and love, and as I gazed down at the man I loved, I wondered how I got so lucky as to have made him mine.

"But you did, Edward. Thank you. Now," I gently closed his eyes, "sleep."

He did so, his breath fanning over my legs, and so did I.

Edward POV

The next few weeks were torturous.

Bella was, under doctor's orders, not to get out of bed until her ribs were completely healed. Which meant that bed pans would have to be used to get rid of her bodily fluids. Per Bella's request, I had to leave the room every time the nurses had to change it or give her a sponge bath (which I would have done anyway). I also could not give her any medicine. She simply wanted me to stay by her side.

And although that made me extremely happy, I was also extremely frustrated.

I felt responsible for Bella's injuries, yet she wouldn't let me heal her. I was under extreme pressure to write more songs for Twilight studios, yet every time I tried to leave while she slept, Bella would subconsciously grab my shirt tail (a clean one; I no longer looked like a scuzzbucket) and mumble "Don't go." How could I leave after that?

I was stuck between a beautiful, angelic rock and a 4 hundred million dollar hard place.

Shit.

Fortunately, I wasn't completely useless. After two weeks, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper were finally cleared to visit her. When they came to cheer Bella up, I would slip into the hallway outside and try to write. I was unsuccessfully trying to put my feelings about this whole thing into words. Every time, it turned into a perfect candidate for a hard core metal/rock song.

I sighed miserably, when my father and mother sat beside me.

"How are you doing?" Carlisle asked quietly. Esme had already pulled me down into a bone-crushing hug.

"Better, now that's she's on her way to recovery." I could feel Esme shudder as she remembered hearing about the incident. Alice had called her as we were riding in the ambulance. I had been too distraught to be anything but hold Bella's pale, lifeless hand in mine.

"Edward…we could have lost her." Esme whispered emotionally. I visibly winced at the implication of her words.

"But we didn't." I reminded her.

"Edward…I think that the time for your marriage should be sooner rather than later." Carlisle stated. I was so startled that I could simply stare, open-mouthed at him in shock. How did he-

"I noticed the ring. We were so happy you two had decided to tie your futures together." Esme was gazing teary eyed at me. "We talked to Bella's parents and as a surprise to her, if she agrees, you guys can get married after your concert."

I gave them the biggest grin I could muster, since Bella was still in the hospital, and exclaimed, "You guys are the greatest parents ever!"

A chorus of shh's followed my statement.

Later that evening, after Bella fell asleep, I told Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper of my plan to turn our concert into a makeshift wedding. Alice, of course, was put out that we would not be having a traditional wedding, but could deal with that because of the audience size.

At about three in the morning, I woke up with the perfect melody stuck in my head. I immediately wrote it down, feeling elated at Plan Church Bells (Emmett's idea) and the steady recovery Bella was making. The doctor was already thinking about letting her out two days before she was due, just to let her have time to prepare for the concert.

And as my own personal surprise, I'd contacted a new friend of mine to appear at the concert. After only a day and a half, I'd written two songs, one for myself to sing, and one for Bella to sing. Of course, this new friend was going to be in Bella's song.

All I could think was, God I hope she says yes.

I love you, the love of my life

I need you, our love is right

I've found the one that my soul loves

No other love means so much

I prayed to my God for a heart to keep

He gave me the one, He knew my needs

Over and over this love is sweet

I recognize the joy that makes our love complete

God gave you to me

You're the one I prayed for long ago

Fearless trust I never thought I'd know

I've found the answer to my dreams

My eyes were opened to love's mystery

Sorry, this is a necessary filler chapter. Btw, this is Love of My Life copyrighted by Darla Day, Mark Phillips, and Chad Day