A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this chapter is a couple days later than I'd hoped. My schedule is kicking my ass per usual, and I ended up pushing this update back to march 6th from the end of last week due to a big exam that followed four others that were all in one week. Unfortunately I had to push the update back AGAIN to today due to a fender bender on my way to school where someone slid into me at an intersection. All is good now, though. The chapter is a little shorter than I'd hoped for, and while I have a lot of work to catch up on following my exams, I do have spring break coming up soon and am aiming for two updates in this next month if I can pull it off. If not, I plan to at least make the next chapter a bit longer than usual to make up for it. Again, I'm sorry for the long time between chapters. I've just got a lot to do and am trying to make sure I don't force the story too much by prioritizing update speed over the content itself. Thank you to everyone who has followed the story so far and understands my situation. I hope you all continue to read until the end and enjoy the story on the way there.
It took three more lessons for Matt to finally feel comfortable enough with what he'd been taught for them to move to the gym. He was clearly anxious when he arrived, drumming his fingers on his legs as he entered the building for the first time ever. It made Shiro want to reach out and grab his hands to stop their movement, but he figured that would only make Matt more uncomfortable and draw strange looks from the few other people who were around.
The pair had agreed to meet up in the middle of the day on Sunday when there was almost no one there, just a week after their first lesson. Matt had learned quickly, causing Shiro to recommend that they move to the gym sooner than originally planned so they'd have more space. Matt had been a bit hesitant, and while Shiro respected that, he also made sure Matt knew that he'd improved significantly since the first lesson and had nothing to be embarrassed about.
"Hey," Shiro greeted, giving Matt a kind smile. It made the younger man relax somewhat, causing Shiro to smile wider. "Let's put our bags in the locker room, then I'll show you where we're going."
Shiro led Matt into the men's locker room near the front desk, putting both his duffel bag and Matt's sling bag into a locker that he secured with a combination lock. They also left Matt's glasses and their jackets in there, as they'd worn them for the chill of the autumn wind outside but had no need for them inside.
The two made their way to the back of the gym where a multi-purpose wrestling-type room was. The floor was heavily padded and convenient for anything that involved a lot of powerful impacts, throwing, or potential falls.
"Since we have more room, I want you to practice your blocks while also incorporating movement," Shiro decided, stretching his arms out behind him. He settled into a low stance a few feet in front of Matt. "You've got them down pretty good when you're stationary, but if you end up in a real fight, there's going to be a lot more movement. You need to be able to get out of the way and meet attacks in a way that allows you to block or deflect them easily. Being more mobile will also increase your chances of escape."
Matt tightened the messy ponytail behind his head before he sank into his own stance, feet shoulder-width apart, one slightly further back than the other, knees bent, and head up. He gave Shiro a nod, and the older man lunged forward.
Shiro held back on both speed and power with his attacks while they warmed up a bit, Matt working to avoid every strike while also remembering to move. He was a bit shaky at first, but quickly began to get the hang of it. He struggled a bit as Shiro held back a little less, but still managed to catch his fists, smack his arms to change the course of an attack, and duck to dodge the attacks he could.
The two spent nearly three hours practicing, Shiro bringing up old skills from previous lessons and mixing them in with new skills. Matt wasn't perfect, but his abilities were still impressive. Once he started to relax and stopped thinking about whether or not he looked sloppy as he worked, he improved drastically. It didn't surprise Shiro too much, seeing as he already knew how skilled Matt had already become. The IT student wasn't half-assing anything, and he was legitimately trying to learn. That was far more effort than a lot of people put into anything, let alone fighting. Too many people believed they could simply embrace their inner Bruce Lee if they ever needed to, unaware of how difficult it was to actually use any technique related to combat successfully. Even punching and kicking was a lot more than throwing out a limb as hard as possible and hoping for the best.
As the two prepared to call it a day, Shiro decided to throw in a little surprise for Matt to keep him on his toes. Most of their lesson that day had revolved around motion and dodging, as well as counterstrikes, but it had all been aimed at the upper body. It took a lot to efficiently use both arms and legs in a fight, though it was an important skill to master. While Shiro didn't want to suddenly dump a new technique on Matt just as they were finishing for the day, he thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to give him a taste of what the next lesson would include, should he want to continue.
When Matt dodged a punch by Shiro and stepped forward to return it, Shiro suddenly dropped to the floor and kicked, sweeping out Matt's legs from under him. The IT student's eyes went wide as he crashed to the floor, then he frowned at Shiro.
"Unfair," Matt accused, crossing his arms.
Shiro chuckled, offering up his left hand. "Yes, unfair, sorry," he said.
Matt took Shiro's hand and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, then he reached back to tighten his pony tail, which had loosened during the lesson and released a few strands around his face. "You need to show me how to do that, though," he said. "You don't get to do something cool then not show me how to do it."
"Patience, young one," Shiro stated sarcastically in a poor imitation of an old, wise man. "I'll show you how to do it next time," he promised, dropping the imitation. "For now, we're done for the day."
Matt sighed, dropping his head back and squinted up at the ceiling. "Good. I've been blind for the past three hours. I can barely even see you," he complained, rubbing at his eyes. You're just a blob right now. Like, a really fast blob that could break someone's arm with one finger."
"Just don't forget your glasses again. They barely escaped Eurus when you left them behind last week, and I'm not sure that you'd see them again if you leave them in the locker room here. Someone will probably step on them," Shiro predicted. He'd brought Matt's glasses to class the Monday after their first lesson and gave them to Sam. Shiro had nearly broken them a good four times before he finally reached Matt's father, who laughed when he realized that Matt not wearing his glasses for two days hadn't been a choice. It seemed he'd never told Sam that he'd left them at Shiro's, perhaps out of embarrassment over being forgetful.
The two returned to the locker room for their things, Matt jumping up on the bench in front of the lockers to dab after he finally had his glasses back on, making Shiro drop his head in a mixture of embarrassment and confusion. The two made sure they had all their things before they left, Shiro walking Matt to the IT center to meet up with Sam and be taken home.
The pair was silent for most of their walk, eyes on the world around them. It was sunny, but the wind carried a biting cold that cut through their jackets and chilled Shiro's arm until it throbbed. He did his best to keep a neutral face, though the throb was worse than usual since he had just exercised. The combined discomfort from the extended use and aching cold made him wish he had a pack of Tylenol in his pocket.
Matt seemed to notice that something was off about Shiro, narrowing his eyes at his friend with a small frown on his face. "Are you okay?" he asked, looking Shiro over in search of any source of discomfort until his eyes landed on Shiro's arm. "Does your shoulder still hurt?"
Shiro twitched, a balloon of anxiety suddenly inflating in his chest when he saw Matt eye his arm, only for it to explode and disappear when Matt spoke. Shiro felt bad that he had lied to Matt during their first training session, though he felt worse about dragging it out. While he didn't feel ready to share his secrets, Matt had trusted him with a few major personal stories. While Shiro knew that didn't mean he had to reveal his deepest secrets, he believed that was all more the reason to be honest with Matt. It may have been a harmless lie, but it was still a lie, and Matt didn't deserve to be lied too.
"Uh, yeah, a little," Shiro said quietly, wincing at how easily the words poured from his mouth. He caught Matt looking at him a bit guiltily and shook his head. "Don't worry about it, it's fine," he promised, waving away his friend's guilt. If only he could wave away his own that easily.
As Matt turned to face forward again, his gaze leaving Shiro's face, Shiro sighed internally. He apologized to Matt in his head as if the words could reach his friend without being spoken aloud. He wasn't entirely sure why he had worked himself up so much over a harmless fib, though part of him knew it was because he was well aware of how much one could inflate. He'd seen little meaningless lies result in a heavy price that took an eternity to recover from and were impossible to heal. He'd seen the slippery slope, what it could do, and had hated every lie ever told since then.
"So, when do you want to teach me that leg-sweepy thing?" Matt asked, pulling Shiro from his thoughts.
The older man was slightly caught off-guard, and he ended up staring at Matt blankly for a moment until the IT students kicked his leg out slowly and tapped Shiro's calf.
"Oh, uh, whenever," Shiro replied slowly, blanking as he searched his memory for any important events he had coming up.
"Welllllll," Matt dragged out, furrowing his brow as he thought to himself. "I'll just text you about it later. My brain is melted," he complained. "How do people exercise regularly without, like, dying? I just want to eat everything on the planet and take a nap. Or eat everything and nap. Just lay down on the floor with a blanket and some chips."
"That's not healthy," Shiro commented. "In any way, shape, or form. I'm pretty sure laying down while eating is a choking hazard, too."
Matt shook his head. "See, and that is where my skills come in. Once one has mastered the art of eating while laying down, watching vines when it's cold out is that much easier."
Shiro raised an eyebrow. "Should I be concerned?" he asked.
"Nope."
"Are you sure?"
"Yep. I am a master of-"
Matt was cut off by the sudden sound of a car horn that made them both jump. It instantly put them on edge, freezing and whipping their heads toward the source.
"Sorry!" Sam called, rolling down the window of his car. He poked his head out and gave a wave. "I leaned over the steering wheel to grab the mail I left in the corner of the windshield, and I must have hit the horn."
"Thanks for the heart attack!" Matt groaned loudly, clutching his chest. He looked to Shiro, who had his eyes closed. "Shiro?"
Shiro shook his head and opened his eyes, giving Matt a small smile. "I'm fine. Sudden loud noises make me jumpy," he stated casually in an attempt to play off his nerves. Every fiber of his being wanted to tremble, and it took everything he had to stay steady. He caught Sam shooting him a concerned look and gave the man a wave. As one of his instructors, he knew Shiro struggled with his mental health. However, unlike Shiro's official instructors, such as Con and his mechanics professor, Sam didn't know exactly what that entailed. Not wanting either of the Holts to worry for him, he gave the man a wave to diffuse his concern before returning his attention to Matt. "I didn't even realize we were already at the IT Center."
"Tis' the price I pay for my horizontal eating habits," Matt stated solemnly, though the grin that broke out on his face halfway through the sentence gave away his sarcasm.
Shiro let out an amused huff at his friend's odd humor. "Text me later and we can find a time to meet up again," he said, taking a step back. As much as he enjoyed spending time with the Holts, his anxiety had yet to fade and it was getting harder to hide his hyperawareness. The sooner he got back to his dorm, the better.
Matt gave a nod, then jumped off the sidewalk and circled around to the passenger side of Sam's car. He gave Shiro a wave as he opened the passenger door, then got in the car and turned his attention to his father.
Shiro watched the pair go, then once the car was out of sight, he let himself relax. His hands tremored at his sides, and he took a few shaky breaths to steady himself before crossing his arms against the cold and heading for his dorm
-000-
Back in his dorm, Shiro shut the door and leaned heavily against it. He tipped his head back, letting it rest again the cool surface as he sighed heavily. His hands still trembled at his sides, his senses heightened. All he'd done is walk back to his dorm, but he felt completely drained. The sudden sound of the car horn had flipped a switch in his brain that wouldn't turn off no matter how measured and slow his breathing was.
Sloppily kicking off his shoes, Shiro stumbled to his bedroom and dropped down on his bed without bothering to change out of his gym clothes. He'd need to shower and change later for sure, but at the moment he didn't even have the energy to get up. Instead he let his weary eyes slip shut, heavy body sinking into the mattress as if it was made of lead.
Eurus jumped up on the bed beside him, the creak of the springs making his eyes fly open and his muscles twitch. A dull throb pulsed in his back, and his right arm felt like a tender bruise as the metal warmed slowly and the chill stopped attacking his flesh. Everything ached from the cold and the tension, and his racing heart seemed to be draining every ounce of willpower he had until he was simply laying in a tired daze, drifting slowly off to sleep.
When Shiro's phone vibrated with a message twenty minute later, it went completely unnoticed by the fatigued aviation student buried in oblivion.
-000-
Monday afternoon, on his way out of the aviation classroom, Shiro was stopped by Con.
"Shirogane, could I have a word with you?" the man asked, nodding toward the back of the classroom.
Shiro nodded and followed, unsure of why he was being called aside. He'd been doing fine in his classes recently, so there was no way he was in trouble for anything. That eased his worry, though he still felt a bit uneasy being so unsure of what was going on.
Con eyed the remaining students, waiting until they finally left to return his gaze to Shiro.
"The university has decided that it would like to expand the aviation program here due to the growing pilot shortage worldwide and the limited number of schools that offer training. We're doing a recruitment fair for both university students and the public to try to get more people interested in the program. We plan to open up the option of discovery flights to anyone who is interested, and the president of the university has asked the other instructors and I to find candidates to do the flights. We were told to handpick our best, most capable students," the instructor explained.
Shiro raised an eyebrow, slightly surprised. He was experienced and a good pilot, but he never thought much about whether he was better than his many peers or not. Part of him wanted to challenge Con, though he knew better and instead decided to take the compliment with a nod.
"I'm aware that you aren't much of a social person, but I think you'd be good for the discovery flights. You're skilled, focused, and polite. I expect no less from my students, but there are plenty who fail to meet my expectations. I won't force you to do this, and I have a few other students in mind who could do the discovery flights if you don't want to, but I want you to at least consider it. You're the best pilot I have, and it is the best that people need to see if they are going to be inspired to join the program."
Shiro was silent for a moment, contemplating. He loved flying and was more than happy to do discovery flights if it meant getting more people into aviation. His fear was the people themselves and how they might react when a hulking mass of a man with a scar across his face showed up and said he was their pilot. The last thing he wanted was for people to be intimidated by him and back out.
Con seemed to pick up on Shiro's hesitancy and clapped his shoulder. "The fair isn't until Friday, so why don't you take a day to decide and give me your answer Wednesday before class? That way I have time to talk to the other students if you decide not to fly," the older man offered.
Shiro nodded. "Thank you, sir."
Con gave Shiro a rare smile that cracked his typical serious expression for just a moment before he headed out of the room, Shiro following behind him.
-000-
Shiro: I might need to postpone your next lesson
Shiro: Con asked for my help with discovery flights for a recruitment fair on Friday. I'm not sure how long it'll last, but I might not be able to meet up afterward
Matt: That's fine
Matt: My dad told me about the fair this morning and I figured u would probably get picked since ur one of the favs
Matt: I was actually gonna ask u abt it today
Shiro: I'm not sure that I'm going to do it yet, so there's still a chance I can make it
Matt: Why not?
Matt: Ur gonna get loads of free flight time isnt that the dream of aviation students
Matt: My dad told me abt the hourly rate for those planes and oOF
Matt: idk how anyone can afford that on top of tuition
Shiro: True, but I don't know if it's a good idea
Matt: Whyyyyyy
Matt: u can impress people w ur ninja flight skills
Shiro: Flying has nothing to do with ninjas
Matt: I mean it COULD
Shiro: No, it really doesn't
Matt: -_-
Matt: Seriously tho y not
Matt: I mean u don't have to tell me if u don't want to
Matt: But if ur doubting urself im gonna steal ur cat
Shiro: How would that solve anything
Matt: because it would
Shiro: Should I be worried
Matt: Naaaaaah
Shiro stared at his phone hesitantly, fingers hovering above the keyboard. Matt had enough going on with the whole Quinn situation, even though not much had happened recently. The last thing he needed was Shiro's burdens, especially something as minor as insecurities. While Shiro knew Matt would be more than happy to talk to him about it, he didn't feel it would be fair to Matt.
A vibration drew Shiro's attention, and he blinked to find that his screen had timed out. He hurriedly turned it back on and typed in the passcode, opening the conversation again. As if Matt had been reading his mind, the IT student sent a text that summed up Shiro's worries in just a few words.
Matt: Ur worried abt smth aren't u
Shiro stared for a moment, his brow furrowing. He could deny Matt's accusation, or he could be honest. Either way, the conversation wouldn't end where it was. Even though Matt wouldn't prod him much for an explanation, he could easily take a guess and hit the nail on the head. Regardless of how open Shiro was willing to be, Matt wasn't going to let him walk away from the conversation with doubts that easily.
Shiro: I'm not sure that people would react well to a huge guy with a scar across his face showing up and saying he's their pilot
Matt: No one is going to run away screaming just because their pilot looks like post-serum Steve Rodgers with a facial scar
Shiro: In no way do I look like Chris Evans
Matt: Yeah u do ur both big muscle dudes
Matt: Doritos
Shiro: What?
Matt: U both have the shoulder to waist ratio of a dorito
Shiro: Thanks?
Matt: ?
Matt: Seriously though, don't worry about it
Matt: Even if someone were to get intimidated, as soon as you starting talking they'll know ur nice
Matt: *start phone wtf
Shiro: That doesn't do much to stop the potential intimidation problem
Matt: Shiro
Matt: It will be FINE
Matt: You love flying, and so will the people who go on the flights
Matt: If they get intimidated, their loss
Matt: People should know better than to judge based on appearance
Shiro: The university is putting a lot into planning though. I don't want to hurt their efforts
Shiro: I'm also not exactly a people person either
The conversation paused there, and Shiro stared at his unmoving screen with a cold flower blossoming in his chest. There was something unnerving about a break in conversation, a growing worry that the other person might have decided that they were done. While Shiro knew Matt wasn't the kind of person to suddenly leave mid-conversation unless he had a really good reason, he still worried that Matt may be growing tired if his complaining. Everything Matt had said about Shiro's love for flying and how people shouldn't be judgmental was true, but it was clear that nothing would completely shake Shiro's worry. Shiro wouldn't blame Matt for deciding that he was fighting a losing battle.
As Shiro started to consider sending an email to Con stating he didn't think he could do the flights, his phone vibrated again.
Matt: I just talked to my dad abt the aviation fair
Matt: He asked my sister if she could help with setup but she's got another project to do
Matt: Ig im gonna help w that so I could find u when I'm done
Matt: idk anything abt planes but then you don't need to worry about standing around by urself or smth
Matt: I'm sure people won't find u intimidating if they see you having a casual conversation with the ultimate spaghetti noodle
Matt: aka ya boi
Shiro: What
Matt: Tis' me, thy spaghetti noodle
Shiro: Okay?
Matt: One day you will understand the art of shitpost humor
Shiro: Probably not
Matt: Yes u will
Matt: Just like ur gonna do the flights
Matt: Bcuz u like flying and ik u want to see other people see how gr8 it is
Matt: You may be twice my size but if u try hiding in ur dorm I will drag ur whole ass to the plane
Shiro: I don't even know if that's physically possible
Matt: idc
Matt: if u didn't want to do this I wouldn't encourage it, but I know u well enough to know u want to
Matt: All u said is ur afraid of what other people will think
Matt: Theres nothing to be afraid of
Matt: U have nothing to worry about
Matt: And if anyone tries to back out ill drag THEIR ass into the plane
Shiro let out an amused huff.
Shiro: Thanks, Matt
Matt: ofc
Matt: ur out here showing me that I don't need to be afraid of quinn
Matt: so ill show u that u don't need to be afraid of what other people think of u
Shiro found himself smiling softly as he read over Matt's messages once, then twice, then again. Here Matt was, dragging him to his feet again even as he struggled with his own problems. His words were kind and genuine, his last two texts striking deep in Shiro's heart. Since he'd first heard of Quinn when he'd watched Matt tremble in the cold night out of fear of the person he'd seen in the library, Shiro had wanted nothing more than for Matt to feel safe. That's why every time he saw Quinn, he'd nudge Matt in the other direction, why he was teaching him how to defend himself. He hadn't been sure that he'd done much to help, but it seemed Matt had gotten the message. It made feel Shiro feel warm for the first time in a while.
Closing the messenger app, Shiro pulled up his email and typed Con's name into the address bar.
-000-
Wednesday after his English class, Shiro returned to the aviation building to meet with Con and talk about the upcoming aviation recruitment fair. They set up his schedule, where he'd pick up the potential new recruits, how long the discovery flights were, and went over anything else he needed to know.
Meanwhile, Matt worked with Cypress in the IT Center. The pair had been on their own since the morning, Rift out teaching a class and no one else scheduled to work. It wasn't very busy, so they didn't mind. However, a third hand would have been helpful during their lunch breaks when one was left to cover the counter and work alone. It was difficult to try to fix something without getting focused to the point that they wouldn't notice customers or hear the bell ring.
While Cypress was on her lunch break, Matt was just barely balanced between his focus on his work and his surroundings when he heard the bell from the counter. He raised his head, then froze when his eyes landed on a familiar face.
Standing at the counter was none other than Quinn, smug smile plastered on his lips as he raised up a broken phone and wagged it at Matt.
Instead of the usual kind smile he wore for most customers, Matt's expression was blank. He stood slowly, then approached the counter silently. Quinn set down the phone and slid it over to Matt, who picked it up without taking his eyes off Quinn.
"What seems to be the problem?" Matt asked, tone empty. It was devoid of everything and anything, not a trace of fear, anger, or any other emotion seeping from it.
"Looks like I dropped it a few too many times. I don't think it wants to see me anymore," Quinn replied, tone low and dangerous.
Matt glanced down at the phone momentarily as he tapped the home button to no avail, then looked back up at Quinn. He had picked up on Quinn's implication easily, though he poured all his energy into remaining a blank slate. If Quinn couldn't read him, he wouldn't feel confident enough in his ability to instill fear and act on Matt.
"Do you have your student ID?"
Quinn grinned darkly. "Really? I think you already know what you need to."
"Student ID?" Matt repeated firmly, holding out a hand expectantly.
Quinn's grin slipped momentarily, then settled back into the smug smile he'd worn when he first arrived as he pulled his wallet from his pocket, slid his ID out, and set it not-so-gently in Matt's hand.
Matt grabbed a bag and a marker, his gaze still on Quinn, only looking away to glance at the ID. It was true that he already knew almost everything he needed to write, but he refused to give Quinn the satisfaction of knowing that. Eyes on Quinn, Matt uncapped the marker and scribbled the other student's information on a notepad before sliding the ID back across the counter. He slid the broken phone into the bag with the sheet from the notepad, then sealed it all shut. He wrote the date on the bag, the set down the marker and stepped back from the counter, not once breaking away from Quinn's gaze.
"Come back on Friday for pickup," Matt ordered. He then turned and stepped away, only for Quinn to call out again.
"I hope you can fix it. I would love to see it again."
Matt stopped, face twitching. He made sure his expressionless mask was back in place before he turned his head to look over his shoulder.
"Maybe," he said. "But some things are beyond saving."
Without another word, Matt continued to the back room. He turned the corner as soon as he got there and set Quinn's phone on the shelf. However, instead of going back out to continue working on the disassembled computer he'd been fixing before Quinn came in, he remained in the back room out of sight with a hand over his racing heart as he breathed slowly through the tightness in his chest. He stood there until the sound of footsteps reached his ears, then Cypress was leaning through the doorway with a confused look on her face.
"What're you doing?" she asked, stepping back as Matt hesitantly stepped into the doorway. He discreetly glanced at the counter and let out a silent sigh of relief when he found it empty.
"Just thought I forgot about something," Matt mumbled as he returned to his project. He caught Cypress looking at him with a raised eyebrow that showed she didn't buy a word he said, though she said nothing.
For the rest of his shift, Matt did what he could despite the lingering tremor in his hands.