***A/N***: Another record-breaking amount of writing for me, 7 pages and pushing this story over the 50,000 word mark! Someone pointed out to me that Disneyland is not in LA county, so my mentioning that Fyarl demons had taken it over in chapter 7 was not in line with the comic cannon. I didn't make an error; I just really thought that it was a funny joke. I knew when I wrote it that the location was way outside of LA County because I live in LA County. Just wanted to say that I took a little creative license. Oh and also, I watch a lot of UK/British shows/TV and read a lot of works from there, but I'm not perfect when it comes to Cockney, and writing for Spike is my first attempt at trying to write in any form of accent. I've been using a lot of database websites for phrases, and I can only hope that I'm using them correctly. I'm debating putting up a lexicon for the terms I've used, because some of them are confusing to me. If you have questions about what something means, feel free to PM me and ask. Anyway, on with the show!

**SPIKE POV** - Block

Bad day. Started out bad. So far, it's stayed that way. And I'm guessing it's only gonna get worse …

Today was a goddamn bad day because of three reasons. Buffy had been alone with Peaches, out in the wilds of LA, for going on five hours at this point. Durin' all this time, I've done nothing but sit an' stew over what could possibly be takin' 'em so long. Reason the last? I was stone-cold sober for the whole thing.

That an' I'm stupid enough to stick around, waitin' for her to get back … I really must be a bloody masochist. I should've just shoved off … gone back to the Hyperion, grabbed the Smurf, and gotten lost again.

Xander'd been by a while back, letting me know that kiddies had radioed in. Headed back towards the base apparently. Could even see the pityin' look the blighter gave me in his one eye.

Not like I care … but I guess he would know most of all amongst us … what's it like to be in love with that girl and watch her go off with that poofter …

Suddenly, I was pulled from my thoughts as I heard the helicopter approach and land out on the football field. They were back, and there was no soddin' way that I was going to go out to see them. Didn't want to watch the happy couple prance about, rubbing it in my face.

No doubt in my mind what they'd been up to out there. So then … this must be the first test. Can I really stay now? I could handle it before when I knew that nothing untoward was goin' on; when she kept us both at arm's length. But now?

A fast heartbeat caught my attention out in the hall. Hummingbird-fast heartbeat. It got closer and closer before it stopped in front of my door and just stayed there. I waited, lit myself a cigg, and sat back on the bed. Just waitin' ta see where this latest melodrama was 'bout to take me. When I finally lit myself my third cigarette in a row without so much as a cough in the hallway, I knew it was time to take matters into my own hands. When I finally opened the door, a very abashed-lookin' Buffy was looking straight back at me. She reeked of the git and desire … desire that had been acted upon.

"So … should go I congratulate Peaches? Or'd that Gypsy hubabubaloo carry over and we've got ourselves a human Angelus to sort out," I accused.

"Spike …"

"No, Slayer. Right now, after what's just happened between the two of you … you should just shove off. Don't want you hosting no pity party for me. Go wash off the evidence of your little romp and then send someone 'round when it's time to buzz on over to Lorne's."

"Spike wait," she huffed and pushed her way inta my room as I tried to close the door on her, "I took Angel out with me today because I needed to have a privet conversation with him …"

"And when did the meanin' of the word 'conversation' turn into 'a bit 'o slap an' tickle'?"

"God would you just let me finish? I took him out there to talk, and that was all I wanted. Just talking. But then we got caught up in moment and I let things go further than that … but I stopped. We stopped. We didn't do what you think we did."

"Shut up you Bob! I know you two …"

"You call me a liar one more time Spike and we're gonna have a problem. I've done nothing but try to be upfront with the two of you since you got here and you keep accusing me of denying the truth like I was Bill Clinton's protégé or something," Buffy interrupted me.

"There's already a problem you daft bint! I knew this whole thing would be a bad idea, and you'll not distract me with the fact that you really have picked up a bit of Cockney. Apparently, it's not the only cock you've been picking up recently," I said pointedly as I braced myself for things to come to blows.

I watched her struggle to stay calm, but was amazed that she didn't once look like she was about to pop me one. After a few deep breaths, she started again in a slow, even voice that carried the restraint of someone talking to an aggravatin' child.

"Angel and I made out. We made with the kiss-age and it led to touching, under the clothes kind of touching yeah, but we both stayed fully dressed. We did not have sex. I realized what we were doing and put the brakes on, and then finished the talk I took him out there for. I … I didn't want things to go down like that. I'm not going to apologize for wanting him or acting on it, but I will say that I regret the timing. It was too early for something like that … with Angel. I don't know how to put it any more plainly than that."

I took half a mo' to really look her dead in the eyes at her last statement. She wasn't shielding me, that's for damn sure, but she wasn't goading me either. Seemed understandin' bout why I was upset, but she was forcing me to face it and deal. Wasn't mad at me for being mad neither, but she obviously wasn't thrilled at my reactions so far.

The chit really has grown up if her first reaction isn't ta sock me in the nose … bloody hell … this mean I have to grow up as well?

"I'm not feelin' inclined to believe you pet."

"God damn it! I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Spike … I want you to smell me."

"S'cuse me?"

"You heard me. I'm giving you a one-time only pass to really take a good sniff. You can pick up crazy details with your vamp senses, right?"

"Yeah …," I trailed off, tryin' ta understand where she was goin' with this.

"Is it reasonable to think that you'll be able to tell if someone has had sex compared to just fooling around?"

"Maybe …"

"Then go ahead. Get Sherlock Holmes-y on my ass and investigate. Deduce away."

"Just how thorough am I allowed to be luv?" I asked, feeling the leer spring up in my face. She surprisingly matched my leer with one of her own.

"As thoroughly as you want," she smirked up in my dumbfounded boat.

Everything seemed to slow down and get serious right quick. This wasn't a game we were playing at, or an argument, anymore. She was giving me permission to touch her, inspect her, as a way to try and prove that she didn't shag the life right back outta Captain Forehead the first second he had her alone. That she was offerin' ta give me this chance really caught me off guard and I noticeably hesitated.

"Spike, I'm telling you the truth but I understand why you don't believe me. I'm serious about this. If this is going to work between the three of us on any level, then there needs to be trust. Let me build it, starting now."

"Slayer … Buffy, I'm … I want to believe you … you hav' no bloomin' idea how bad, but …"

"I promise you, I stopped what we were doing when my sense came back to me. I just wasn't ready … I honestly wasn't ready to get to that place with him," she said quickly before reacting to the smile breaking out on my face, "you do know though that sometime soon I won't stop with him, right? I'm not going to apologize for that, and I'm not going to apologize about what goes on between you and I to Angel either."

"I know," I replied with a sullen, yet serious, air. We stood in silence, regarding each other with unflinchin' stares for what felt like a bleedin' eternity before she peeled off her fetching tan leather jacket.

"Well," she smiled softly, "start looking for the proof that you need. I insist."

Inna' fog I nodded and began to catalog every seemingly insignificant detail as my eyes flickered over her.

Hair's a bit mussed. Cheeks a bit flushed. Lips lookin' decidedly bee-stung. Clothes slightly rumpled, but that could've been from scrappin'; can tell from the nearly healed scratches on her arms that somethin' nasty must've come after 'em out there. Hickey on the neck … right above the place where the wanker left that scar on her. The scar that's decidedly lookin' a bit red and puffy at the moment. Shit … even human, the blighter has ta claim her.

Had to give the bird credit, even with the disgruntled growl I let loose at that last piece of evidence, her eyes were unflinching in their gaze of my face. There was no shame, no embarrassment in those peepers as she watched me studyin' her. What I did find there in her eyes, oddly enough, was a look of encouragement. I stepped close, invading her personal space to the point that I only left an inch between us, and took deep drafts of air through my nose. I compared what I found with the little details my predator's senses had already noticed underneath the strong general smells of arousal and Angel all over her.

Smell of coffee in her hair; must've come from when the sprag spilled coffee on his hands this morning … which I know he did because I 'accidentally' slammed inta his shoulder this morning when he was holdin' a cup. Her cheek, her neck … god what a neck … smell like the soap he washes his face with. The cotton top she's wearin' smells like that silk poncy number Angel put on this morning. Huh. This is about as detailed as I can get with things like this …

"You sure about that 'as thoroughly as you want' statement luv?" I choked out next to her while lightly putting my fingertips on the straps of her tank top, knowin' she'd pick up my meaning.

"Very," she managed to get out without even a waver in her tone, but her racing' heart betrayed exactly how nervous she was. Ta prove her point, her hands came up and covered mine before guiding them to push her shirt an' under things down 'bout her waist.

Glorious … wait! Don't get lost in the softness and the curves and the … shit, pay attention! I want to believe her, I do, but I need to know for sure if she's fibbin' about fucking Peaches. Can't stay if she thinks I don't deserve the gospel truth.

I could tell right away that the stupid brut hadn't paid any attention to her breasts, which sadly seemed a little smaller than I recalled. Probably due to the weight loss; just another reason to keep sittin' her down and force-feedin' her like a goose. The lines in her hide from where her bra bit into it proved that it hadn't been removed; her nipples, while constricted, weren't lookin' swollen or particularly hard from being played with. I needed to do somethin' with my hands before I lost myself in grabbin' at her, so I slowly reached out and gripped each side of her hips. The second I felt even this little bit of her, all warm an' soft … let's just say no one would blame me for losing all drive to continue with the investigation she'd set me on.

"I guess you would need me to be sans pants for this too, huh?" she asked while fiddlin' with the edge of her jeans with a strange timidness I'd never seen before. It was amazing, and I couldn't believe she was lettin' herself be any sort of vulnerable before me.

"Right, but uh, if you don't want …" I hemmed as I moved my hands to the clasp of her pants.

"Oh trust me; I'm big with the wanting right now. Seems to be a theme for the day," she muttered mostly ta herself.

Takin' her permission to keep going, I couldn't help myself in trailin' my nose lightly along her skin as I lowered myself inta' crouch before her. Noticed that it made her flesh break out in goose-bumps all over, an' it was all I could do to not say 'toss this' an' begin to drag her down with me for a bit o' bendy. Lowerin' her trousers an' knickers with one slow push I was instantly assaulted with the lingering smell of her earlier excitement. And some that was fresh. And Angel.

Don't get fuzzy here, don't fly off tha handle … make sure … if I keep accusin' her of somethin' an' it turns out she was tellin' the truth I'll lose her for good. Better get back on track here; what can I tell if I pay attention and keep my head leveled out? Smell the coffee from his hands on her here too. She smells like she got her rocks off, the hormones give her away. Can smell the muskiness of her touchin' his wick on her one hand, but I don't get a whiff of that being anywhere near her honey pot. I don't smell any trace of the tosser getting' his … she left him in the lurch! Ha! So … she's been telling me the soddin' truth this whole time. Just a bit of foreplay before stoppin'. God, I'm an idiot.

I'd seen her starkers before, plenty of times, but this was different. It was all in the way she was lookin' at me. It wasn't the robotic dead-stare, or the disgusted self-loathing, that I was used to clouding her features when we first got together. It wasn't the look of a haunted, lost little girl looking for someone ta hold her she'd worn those last few nights we had together before the big bang in Sunnydale. It was a look that no one'd ever spared me before in my long existence. There was a sweet sheepishness in her eyes … like she was afraid she wouldn't measure up to my scrutiny. Like she was justa girl, and I was justa boy, and we weren't in a Hell dimension.

"I believe ya luv, believe that your tellin' me the truth. I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

"Oh thank god, I was really worried you'd just smell him on me and keep getting beat-y with that dead horse."

"Well now," I smirked up at her, "nervous are we? Someone here have a guilty conscience? Maybe I need be even more … intensive … in my search than I thought."

Before she could quip back at me I drove my face forward and closed the already microscopic gap between my face and the juncture twixt' her legs. It was more insistent, more than justa in-depth inspection this time. It was a man dyin' of thirst who'd just found the last bit o' water in an arid land and was lappin' away to stave off death. The sharp gasp that came from her drove me on an' I was startin' to push her legs further apart when her hands grabbed down on my shoulders and pushed my face back from her cunny.

"Spike wait …" she trailed off as she tried to catch her breath. Hated that she was stoppin' me, but loved to see that I'd already got her in a state inside of a minute.

What's wrong with me! She just told me that she'd stopped Peaches … what made me think that this was gonna be any different? The bird's not ready … shoulda' taken this invitation and the flirtation at face-value … gotta respect the lady's choices … don't hurt the girl …

"Hey! Spike! Don't go there, not again," the chit's voice pierced my brain as she squatted down next to me an' physically shook me outta' my own head, "there you are! Don't get lost in your own mind like that, please. I think we're all much happier with the less basementy you are."

"I'm sorry … you didn't want it and I was …"

"Oh god not you too … Spike, it's ok. I wanted that. I wanted to let you keep going but …"

"But you're not ready … for dear ol' grandad or me," I interrupted her.

"There isn't enough 'eewww!' in the world to cover that statement. But no, I do think I'm ready. Put a fork in me ready. Wow, that was a bad one … ok, so let me start over. Whenever things between us have been like this," she waved her had back an' forth between us, "before, we both know that it was all about me. Even those last few nights we had together in Sunnydale before the showdown with the First, it was about me."

"No argument here pet."

"Well that's a first …," she mumbled and laughed as she got up and made me stand up too, "anyway, right now we don't have a lot of time since we're supposed to already be in the air heading out to Silverlake but … I wanted this … when it happened … to be about you."

I'd probably write that off as avoidance prattle if she didn't look so beautifully vulnerable sayin' it. She's being the very picture of sincerity … and she's let me prove to myself that she's tryin' hard to tell me the truth. Even if she knows I won't want to hear it. Right now, this is everything I've ever wanted from her; honesty, gentleness, respect, consideration. But I still have to share her … with him. But with her finally treatin' me the way I've dreamed of, do I really care?

Still in a daze, I came back to myself when I realized that Buffy'd sat me down on the edge of the bed and was sittin' herself down in my lap. The kisses she sprinkled over my face were feather-light until she finally reached my mouth. I held her face there, deepenin' the snog, and just lost myself in her. Until she started movin' anyhow.

What's she doin'? Oh …

What she was doing was lightin' up off my lap and settlin' herself down in front of me. On her knees. Didn't even notice that she'd undone my pants till the heat from her hand on me made me feel an uncontrollable shake rack through my body, knockin' me back to my senses. It wasn't like we'd never done this before, post-resurrection and pre-soul we'd done the hell outta oral sex on each other, but once again this was completely different. Whenever she'd been up for ant an' decs in the past, she was always in control of it. Like she'd said, it was all about her an' what she was doing to me. Most time's it was like a demonstration of her power over me. She'd never kneeled before me; always had me lay back and she was always … always above me. I was always beneath her.

"Spike, Spike look at me," she asked when I closed my eyes as her hand closed over my knob. I opened 'em back up to look inta hers when she continued to speak to me, "I always closed my eyes before. I need things to be different this time. I need to see you; I'm not gonna block you out anymore."

With that she leaned down an' kissed me on my tip without ever breakin' eye contact with me. Her hand slowly began to slide up and down as that little pink tongue began ta flick along the sides. Short, unneeded breaths shook me an' I groaned mindlessly when she finally took me fully in her mouth and bobbed all the way down.

God I love this woman. What I thought was love before between us … I'm startin' to see it was probably more like 30% love and 70% obsession … at least on my side. But this, this feels real. Know it was real before but maybe it just wasn't … pure. That's the word. This feels pure. I love her, I love her, I love her … I love her lil' hands. Her open eyes. Her loose, golden hair …

With that thought my fingers began to itch with want, but I kept both hands at my side. In the old days she would punish me every time I tried to put my hand on her head during this act. She must've noticed my want though, because one of her hands reached out to guide one of mine to her crown as her other clasped itself over my hand still clenching the sheets. The primal male in me wanted nothing more than to take her permission and run with it; wanted to guide and push her to a frantic pace ina show of dominance, but I was too lost in the love pourin' out her eyes to break the moment.

"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy …" I began to chant as she licked and sucked me to the edge.

She'd never wanted me to finish in her mouth. Just one more thing she purposely denied me that I accepted back in the day, and even though this felt new for us I wanted to give her our old warning sign that I was about to blow my top. To my surprise, she smiled (which was a bloody feat considering what her mouth was already occupied in doin') an' kept going till a string of curse words … and other things … exploded outta me. I didn't believe it when she didn't move a twitch an' sucked down every last drop. I couldn't say anythin' as I dropped myself to the floor once we were done, wrapped her up in my arms, an' kissed deeply enough to still taste myself on her lips.

"I love you William, no matter how bad things have been between us," she said as she held my face between her palms and kissed me again, "or how idiotic either of us has been. And probably will be in the future. Now I'd love to get all after-glowy with you right now but the others are waiting for us. Let's go … if we're lucky maybe we'll find something to kill on our way back from me making an ass outta myself with Lorne."

Great day. Started out bad.

Didn't stay that way.