I own nothing.

Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own – H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Chapter Twenty-One – Conditions

Jasper's POV

I was still standing there dumbfounded long after Bella had pulled away and took off in a sprint. What the hell had just happened? It was as if I woke up in the twilight zone. Like the second I took that exit I had been transported to another dimension. That was the only thing to explain my strange behavior.

I don't know what I had been thinking when I asked her to dance. The thought just came out of nowhere but once the idea planted itself in my brain there was nothing I could do to shake it.

Then when she stepped into my arms everything else faded away and finally made sense. She fit like she was made to be in my arms and my body seemed to know that as it reacted to her closeness. Her sweet smell was intoxicating and I found myself becoming drunk by it. It was hard to believe but she smelled better now then she ever did as a human. I wanted to enclose myself in her until there was not her nor me but just us.

Then the music stopped breaking the spell that I was sure I had to be under. I lifted my head and stared down at Bella awaiting her reaction. She had to be horrified by my actions. I was suppose to be like her brother and here I was overstepping all kinds of boundaries, thinking all kinds of things I shouldn't.

She stared up at me questioning. Her eyes were dark; a strange menacing black sparkled with red flecks. They were spellbinding and I could not look away lost in the depths. Then a wave of emotions so strong hit me making my knees almost buckle. That was when it happened. That was when I bent in to kiss her. Her lips were so soft. She tasted of peppermint and watermelon. I reached up to lightly trace the side of her neck with my thumb. The same spot where I had bitten her. She shivered and I could feel it was not from fear. But before anything else could happen she was gone in a mad dash.

This was bad. This was so fucking bad. I was so fucked.

I was afraid that when I finally got out to the truck that Bella would not be there. I would not blame her after what I had done. Thankfully she was there curled up in her seat. She had pulled a hoody out of her bag and was using it to cover herself. I could only see a few strands of her hair peeking out from under. Not only did she have a physical shield but her mental one was back up. Damn she was getting better and better at bringing it up at will. Nothing was getting out.

I knew I had to deal with this but fuck I did not have the energy to do so. This on top of everything else was just too much. What had I done to deserve this? I felt like the shit just kept being shoveled onto me. And you know what? I think I might deserve it. I was an asshole.

I mean the definition of asshole was – someone who kisses his wife's best friend or; - someone who kisses his brother's ex-girlfriend. Either would apply in this case. But worst was the third definition of the word asshole – someone who wants to do it again.

Bella's POV

Jasper had kissed me. Oh my God Jasper had kissed me.

The worst of all this was I wanted him to kiss me again. A real kiss where I was kissing him back. One where I wasn't running from him instead I wanted to curl up in his arms and let go. What a dangerous thought. What a stupid, ridiculous thought. What a sweet, blissful thought.

How did you resist a someone like that? The answer was you didn't. It petrified me to think about letting someone in; especially him. He was everything I should run away from but suddenly the only thing I wanted. It seemed instead of my brain telling me to run from him it was telling me to run towards him. As if he was the unknown destination that I had always been searching for. It other words he was home.

It was not just the fact that he was drop dead gorgeous…but he was that. How I had never truly seen that before was insane. Yes I had always thought that he was good looking but all of them were but now…my God he was amazing. It hurt to look at him. From his sinful body to his tousled blond locks that I wanted to grab as I pulled him closer. Oh and his lips…they were this just right pink that were lush and full. His breath right before he kissed me had been cool and sweet, like he had just drunken a cherry icee.

His eyes were intense. Too intense. It was like good and evil were residing in there fighting for control. I wondered if that had been the good or evil side fighting its way to the surface earlier when he kissed me. When he looked at me it was if he was looking to dig inside my very core, becoming part of my being, to find out all my secrets. I wanted to tell him just to ask for I would tell him anything he wanted to know. But I didn't.

I didn't because it was wrong. Everything that I was thinking and feeling was wrong. He was off limits. Not just because he was my ex-boyfriend's brother but because he was married to my ex-best friend who he was still in love with.

But maybe he wasn't. I mean if he was kissing me than maybe he wasn't in love with her anymore. He had said he was not sure of his feelings but maybe now he was and they did not involve Alice. That was a lot of maybes.

Honestly even if he didn't love her anymore it was stupid to think that he could have any feelings for me. What did I have to offer him?

"Bella…"

There was no way that I was going to talk to him besides maybe long enough to ask him to take me back to Peter's. I could not face him. I was embarrassed but mostly I was scared. Scared of wanting something I would never have. I had done that once in my life and that was more than enough.

"We are only a few miles away from Forks so we need to talk about this before we get there. Please come out from there and face me."

Reluctantly I pulled of the hoody and stared at him waiting to be gently let down.

Jasper's POV

"I'm sorry that my actions have caused you any displeasure. I never intended to make your life harder or mine for that matter of fact. The simple truth is that I find myself drawn to you. My life would be easier if I wasn't but it seems that is not in the cards for now. I think maybe you are feeling the same way whether you want to admit it or not," I told her and her eyes just darkened even more as she stared me questioning. All I really wanted was to kiss her again. I didn't. I had more control than I realized. No that was not it. I would be grabbing her into my arms once again if I was not afraid she would turn and run away again. For whatever selfish reason the next time I kissed her I wanted her willing in my arms. God I was insane thinking there would but mostly should be another kiss.

Since we had left that bar all I could think about was kissing her. It was the most insane thought ever but nothing I could do would make it go away.

"You think you know everything, don't you?" she accused.

"No but I do know what I felt and when I kissed you… you wanted to kiss me back."

"So…," she told me, not looking at me when she conveys that, "What do you want from me?" she demanded.

"What I want and what I need is two different things. What I need right now is time to deal with Alice. What I need is some time to understand why I'm feeling the things that I'm feeling for you. What I want is you to give me that time."

"So let me get this right… you want the time to go back and try to work things out with your wife and then if it does not work out you want the opportunity to explore your feelings for me. Is that about right?" she demanded furious with me.

"You are making me sound so depraved. I am just so confused right now. I know I shouldn't be feeling these things for you. I'm struggling with right and wrong. I am asking myself where the feelings even came from. It was like a switched had been flipped and when it happened bam there was all this new terrifying feelings for you that I know I should not be feeling. And I don't know if they are real or just a side affect of all that we have been through. Because I have felt them from you as well. In the bar they almost knocked me over. So I am just trying to do what is right and fair for all of us. Like I said before I can't tell you I don't love Alice anymore and now I can't tell you that I don't have feelings for you. I'm just asking for the time to figure this all out," I asked her knowing how much I was asking her. It was so unfair but I was selfish enough to hope that she give me what I asked for.

She didn't answer me. She just stared out the window as we moved closer and closer to home. I did not want to push her for an answer but I had to have an answer before we got there.

"I am going to need hunt before we get there. I think you should too. Things are going to be intense I'm sure," she explained to me still not looking at me.

"Bella?"

"I know you are looking for answers but I don't have any at the moment. I'm going to hunt and then we will talk," she informed me still not looking at me or letting me into her emotions.

"Alright," I agreed because I had not other choice. I pulled the truck over the first back street I came across taking it until it ended. We were now in the thick of the woods. It was pitch black the moon barely visible. The heavy smell of rain and mist hung in the air. The faint sound of animals roaming through the woods were audible only to someone like us. It was a good night to hunt. Bella felt it too. A smile crossed her face as she took of in a run. My first instinct was to go after her but I knew she needed her space. She had proven herself at the bar that she was indeed completely in control of her bloodlust. Anyways I did not think there would be too many humans out here.

I took the time to hunt myself. It took the edge off but I was still tense. Not just from the fact that I would be home in moments but now because of my newly developed feelings for Bella.

God that just sounded so wrong. I could not imagine what Edward would do if he heard my thoughts concerning her. It was going to be bad enough after he found out that I had changed her. I was going to have to make sure I kept my thoughts well hidden from him. That was possible but what I was worried about was Alice.

I was shocked that I had not heard from her after everything. I couldn't imagine that she had not seen something that had happened. My only thought was that decisions were made so quickly and without much thought that she was unable to.

That would be the best thing. That way we would be able to tell them as much or as little as we wanted. Bella would have no problem. She had her shield so no one was going to find out anything she didn't want them to. Just like I was not going to feel anything that she did not want me to feel.

"Jasper…" she spoke as she came out of the woods.

Her eyes were now almost all golden. Only the random sparkle of crimson could be seen. She was getting better at the hunting. Only a few drops of blood stained the front of her shirt.

"Find anything good to eat?" I asked.

"I didn't waste time looking for the best meal just the quickest one. Had a few deer. Nothing fancy. Did you hunt?"

"Yes. You were right I needed to. I feel better now."

"Good. Well I am going to go change quickly and then we can head over."

"Bella?"

"You really have no patience do you?"

"No at the moment."

"Fine. I am going to give you the time you are asking for. You go deal with Alice and whatever happens… happens. But just know though that I am not going to be sitting there waiting for you to decided what you want."

What the hell did that mean?