Hi everybody,

I am sorry for the delay. I had hoped to be able to update last week, but for some reason or other did not get around to actually doing so. And now the bad news are that I do not see much chance that I will be able to update for the next three weekends in a row! I am truly sorry for that and hope you will not abandon me or this story in the meantime!

As always, I want to thank you all for sticking with me, for reading, for putting on alert, adding to favorites and for reviewing this or any of my other stories. Your aupport does mean the world to me, I cannot say it often enough!

Anyway, on to the new chapter, and keep in mind that I do not own those characters... Oh, and I know that "The Magic Flute" does have a happy ending, but I thought that Pamina's aria does fit in well with the other, tragic songs.

Chapter 21 – Think of Me

The next few weeks were torture for Erik and Christine. They saw each other almost daily, since Raoul insisted that Christine was present at all their business meetings, and of course she also had to rehearse for her upcoming recital. As much as Erik enjoyed seeing her so regularly and hearing her sing again, her presence also was a constant reminder of the fact that she had left him for the Vicomte, had sold herself, body and soul, to this lecher with the normal, even handsome face.

His face! It all came down to his face. What if he, Erik, had looked like other men? What if he, too, had had attractive features? Would Christine then have been faithful? Would she have waited for him? Erik sighed. In that case she would now be his wife, not the Vicomte's. But would they have been happy together? Could he have been happy with a woman that paid so much attention to looks and other superficial qualities like money and a title? He knew he couldn't. But it did not help that he reminded himself over and over again that Christine was unworthy of his love and that being married to her would most likely have turned out to be a huge disappointment, that he should consider himself lucky to have found out about her true character and to be rid of her for good. His brain might have been convinced by such arguments, his heart still longed for her.

It was especially hard for him to remain cold and aloof when she sang. For some reason, Christine had selected only highly emotional songs and arias for her recital, songs that spoke of longing, of unrequited or betrayed love, of resignation. Not one of the pieces she had chosen was from a comedy. And strangely enough, despite the fact that Erik had ample proof of her superficial, volatile character, she imbued those songs with feelings that her heart could know nothing about and moved everybody who heard her to tears. Well, everybody but him. Erik tried his best not to show her how deeply those songs affected him. He never gave her even one word of praise. The only times he even bothered to acknowledge her presence during her rehearsals was when he pointed out one of her minuscule mistakes. He then always harshly corrected her, giving her the impression that he was annoyed with the noblewoman trying to play at being an accomplished singer.

Christine was every bit as miserable as Erik was. In a way she should have been glad about his very obvious contempt for her. His coldness made it easier for her to hide her own feelings and thus not to give Raoul reason to complain about her behavior towards Erik. Erik's icy formality when dealing with her that bordered on impolite, gave her the strength to look through him and treat him like a total stranger, when she would have wanted nothing more than to slap him hard and ask him how he could have forgotten her and given her up so easily. How he could have hurt her so badly that he had driven her into the arms of Raoul, who did not appreciate her at all, saw nothing in her but a trophy he had won in a competition with a rival, and a body he could fondle at will.

She was not quite sure what she had hoped to accomplish by choosing all those emotionally charged pieces for her recital. Had she wanted to make Erik understand how she felt about his betrayal? If so, her plan had backfired, for most of the time he ignored her and her singing. The only times he did seem to pay attention to her was when he found something about her singing that he could criticize. Then he always gave her the impression that he considered her a worthless, untalented person, who used her husband's position to buy herself the chance to perform in public. What a difference there was between his cold, hurtful words now and their music lessons back then, when she had still believed in his love for her, when there still had been a future to dream of!

She felt like she should hate Erik for what he had done to her, but she could not. For as much as it hurt her to see him with his wife, the way he treated the ailing woman proved to Christine beyond a doubt that Erik was a warm and caring man. Oh, he could be so loving and tender, just not with her!

But then, Christine had to admit to herself, that it was impossible not to like Amanda-Ann. She herself was growing fonder of the young child-woman by the day. As much as she envied her Erik's love and devotion, she could not get herself to hate her rival. And it was almost more to protect Amanda-Ann than to protect Erik that she made sure that Raoul would not have reason to complain about her own behavior. She could not even begin to imagine what it would do to Amanda-Ann if Raoul decided to expose Erik as the so-called "Phantom of the Opera", who supposedly had killed a stagehand in cold blood.

She therefore made sure never to show Erik how much his distance and cold demeanor hurt her. She treated him with the same formality and cold politeness he had for her – and allowed Raoul to take whatever liberties he wanted to take with her body. For whenever Raoul was sure only Erik was watching, his hands usually wandered to inappropriate places like her breasts or her buttocks, in an attempt to show his rival that Christine now was his in every sense of the word. But as much as she would have wanted to show Raoul his place for treating her in such a demeaning way, she could not risk making him angry, even less so in public. So she endured his inappropriate and unwanted attention.

The only person happy with this emotionally charged situation was Raoul. He felt a perverted satisfaction at the way his wife and her former teacher were treating each other. Their apparent cold formality could not fool him. He sensed the waves of hurt feelings and imagined betrayal between these two and it filled him with a sense of power. All their love was pointless, it had not stood a chance against his manipulations. He had outwitted the ugly freak and won the price. True, Christine did not love him. She just endured him and was a rather passive partner in their love-making, but she belonged to him now and not to that – thing. That freak who pretended to be a man. Who even managed to look passable with that fake face he was wearing nowadays. That freak who had dared stealing the heart of the woman he, Raoul Vicomte de Chagny, desired.

But he had won. He had driven the wedge between them that had lead to their separation. They had fallen into his trap and had allowed him to manipulate them as if they were marionettes. Even now they were dancing to his tune, he was holding the strings that controlled their movements. Christine would not dare giving that freak a hint that she was still pining after him, and that monster … Well, one could almost believe that he despised Christine from the way he treated her.

Raoul was very pleased with his achievements. It had really been worth the risk of taking Christine to London. Only now could he be certain that his wife would never try to get back into Givenould's good graces. For even if Christine tried to be more friendly to Erik now, Raoul was sure that Erik would want nothing to do with her anymore.

Xxxx

As much as Erik would have wanted to keep Christine and Amanda-Ann away from each other, he could not prevent the two women to meet over and over again. Somehow the two ladies always found ways to see each other. One day Amanda-Ann begged for her father's permission to attend one of Christine's rehearsals, which to Erik's dismay his father-in-law granted. Then Amanda-Ann invited Christine over for tea, which the latter gladly accepted.

At first Erik had tried to protest against the blossoming friendship between his wife and Christine, insinuating that Christine was likely of doubtful moral qualities, what with having been an upcoming star at the theater where her now-husband was the patron, hinting at the possibility that Christine had slept her way to stardom and somehow managed to make her lover marry her and turn the mistress into a respected wife.

Both, Amanda-Ann and her father laughed at that idea. "I do not know what you have against this charming lady, Erik," Mr. Stanton had chided him. "It is obvious that she is more than just talented. Her voice is a rare gift. You will see, her recital will be a huge success and all the other theaters will envy our luck for having been able to get her under contract. I think that the fact that she is married to a member of the French aristocracy has somewhat clouded your judgment."

"She is also a complete darling," Amanda-Ann chimed in. "She is warm, caring, very sensitive and extremely tactful. I have no idea why she married this Vicomte, though. I am certain that she does not love him." She smiled at Erik. "Trust me, I know. As a woman it is easier for me to understand another woman than it might be for you or papa. She does not love her husband and she is not happy with him, and it is utterly beyond me why she married him in the first place." She cocked her head, as if thinking, than added, "maybe she is in love with somebody else, an unrequited love. And since her own love is hopeless, she took the first-best man who proposed to her."

Erik forced a smile. "You are a hopeless romantic, my dear," he told Amanda-Ann. "Always seeing romance and love where there might be nothing but calculation."

Amanda-Ann shook her head. "No, Erik, don't laugh at me. I am sure I am right. True, Christine seems cold and distant most of the time, but I am sure that this is to protect herself, to make sure nobody sees the pain she is feeling. Just listen to her when she sings! How she imbues those sad and longing tunes with emotion and always makes me cry. And more often than not she has tears in her eyes, too, when she sings those songs. That is the true Christine de Chagny, not the cold, formal exterior she shows to us. That one is just a mask she wears to hide the deeper secrets of her heart."

Erik thought about those words for a while. Was it possible that Christine was not quite as superficial as she seemed to be? Was it possible that she did hide a broken heart as well? But if so, was it not her own fault if she had to suffer now? Who had told her to betray his deep love and sell herself to the Vicomte? It had been her own, free decision to marry that womanizer. Oh, Erik had eyes, he could see how that so-called aristocrat treated Christine, how his hands always found their way to Christine's buttocks and breasts when he thought that nobody was watching. He also could see that Christine, while not exactly encouraging such behavior also did nothing to show her husband that she did not like being treated that way. She must therefore be fine with such inappropriate attention. She obviously was just as shameless as he had thought her to be when he had first learned that she had married the Vicomte.

"If what Amanda-Ann thinks is true and Christine is now unhappy with her choice, then it's her own fault," Erik finally decided. "She preferred the handsome, rich, titled man over my heart full of love, now she has to live with the consequences." And once again he blessed his own fate that had made him realize Christine's unworthiness in time and had brought a true angel like Amanda-Ann into his life, a woman who loved him despite his looks, who could understand the problems he had been facing all his life, since she, too, was suffering from an affliction that made it hard for her to live a normal life.

Xxxx

Finally the day of Christine's recital arrived. Amanda-Ann was getting all excited. She had seen their current production of "L'Elisir d'Amore" three times already, and was looking forward to this new experience. Never before had she been to a recital before. She had learned the list of arias that Christine would be singing by heart, and had made sure to get all the information she could find on the plays they came from. She had asked Christine and Erik for synopses and for the situation in which the character would sing a particular piece. She knew that most of those stories were rather tragic and did not provide a happy ending for the heroine and the man she loved, and she thought that the choice of those songs more than anything else proved that her new friend Christine – the two ladies were on first names by now – was suffering from a broken heart. How else could it be explained that Christine liked such sad songs better than more humorous or happy ones? Surely there were more operas like "L'Elisir d'Amore" with a happy ending for the main couple. Why did Christine not add a few arias from such plays to her program?

In the evening, Amanda-Ann joined her husband and father in their private box. Mr. Stanton had wanted to invite Raoul to their box as well, but when he had made that suggestion, Erik and Amanda-Ann had looked at each other and had both declared unanimously that they did not want him anywhere near. Mr. Stanton had felt a bit uncomfortable by his family's open dislike of their new business partner, but had agreed to offer Raoul another box for his exclusive use.

Amanda-Ann and her father were occupying the front seats of their box, with Erik sitting behind his wife. Despite his new mask he was still a bit uncomfortable in public and therefore preferred to hide behind Amanda-Ann. A seat in the back would also make it easier for him to hide from his wife and father-in-law how very touched he would be by Christine's singing.

Christine began with "Addio del passato", Violetta's third act aria from "La Traviata" and earned standing ovations with her heart-breaking rendition of this melancholic piece. Pamina's "Ach ich fühl's, es ist entschwunden" from "The Magic Flute" followed. Amanda-Ann was moved to tears. She was not the only one. The whole audience seemed like under a spell, deeply touched by the feelings expressed by the young singer and at the same time mesmerized by her flawless technique and virtuosity.

When the official program was over, the audience kept clapping and cheering, asking for one more piece. Amanda-Ann, her cheeks flushed with enthusiasm turned to Erik and asked, "isn't she magnificent?"

Erik barely managed to nod. He was speechless. Christine had just surpassed herself. She had performed all those arias not only flawlessly, but with more feeling than he had ever considered possible. How could somebody as superficial as her express such deep emotions?

Fortunately, Amanda-Ann was too excited to notice his emotional state. "You will see, she will sing another piece," she told him. "She simply has to! We want more! Everybody in the theater wants more! She is beyond fantastic!"

At that moment, Christine seemed to whisper something to the conductor, and when the latter nodded, she announced that she would be singing one more piece, namely Elyssa's aria "Think of Me" from Chalumeau's "Hannibal".

Moments later the familiar introduction was heard and Christine's bell-like voice began to sing.

"Think of me, think of me fondly,
When we've said good-bye..."

Amanda-Ann once again had to fight back tears. She had no idea what "Hannibal" was about, since this particular aria had not been on the program and she therefore had not researched the play, but she caught enough of the lyrics to know that this was about a woman knowing that her love had no future, who begged her beloved not to forget her, once they would be separated forever, and that she was promising in return that she would always think of him.

Always. The last line "There will never be a day that I won't think of you" sounded like a promise to Amanda-Ann and the way Christine seemed to stress this particular line was like a revelation to her. In a way it was the confirmation of her suspicions, that Christine was indeed suffering from a broken heart. That her friend had somehow lost the man she loved, but could not and would not forget him. Ever.

"I told you," she whispered to Erik. "She is in love with somebody she cannot have. She would never sing this song like that, with so much emotion, she would not put so much emphasis on that last line, if there were no parallel to her own life. She loves somebody, who for some reason or other is lost to her. That's probably why she married the Vicomte. Because it does not matter whom she marries since she cannot have the one she truly loves."

Erik fought down his own emotions and managed to say rather coldly. "Nobody forced her to marry the Vicomte. If it is true she loves somebody else, she could have remained single and pursued her career as a singer if she thought he was lost to her."

Amanda-Ann smiled at him. She had caught something in her husband's voice that belied his harsh words. "Oh Erik," she mumbled. "You cannot fool me. I know now why you are always so hard on my friend. You know it too, that she is unhappy. But you blame her for having tried to find security in a loveless marriage. You would have preferred her to remain alone for the rest of her life, living just for her art. You are such a hopeless romantic yourself!"