20: Hidden Pasts
Previously:
"Hello? ... Yeah? ... Oh, um," she paused, biting her lip, before continuing, "I don't really know... ... Oh, okay... Maybe...one week then? ... Okay. See you then. ... Love you too, bye."
"Who were tha'?"
"Just...," she hesitated, glancing at her brother, also looking at her curiously, before looking away again, "no one."
The work day continued as normal, and the three left around six, off to their apartments.
At Alfendi's apartment, the siblings ate dinner, silent aside from the clinking of forks against plates, when Deirdre spoke up, not looking up from her plate.
"Ally, I...I have to leave...in a week. A week from today."
"Is that what the phone call was about?" his calmer side asked.
She nodded slightly, not looking up at him.
"Who was it?"
"It doesn't matter," she answered quickly.
He didn't continue asking, so they ate quietly, before separating, each going through their normal routine individually before going to sleep.
The next day, Deirdre told Lucy she was leaving, and that night the three of them went out to eat together, talking during the entire meal and simply enjoying themselves, free of the stress of cases waiting back at the office.
A few days later, Lucy suggested the two of them go out and get to know each other better. Most of the time Deirdre had spent in the city, Lucy was either comatose or had lost her memory, and even afterwards they were too busy to talk, trying to make up for old cases sitting in the office.
Alfendi walked Deirdre to Lucy's house, shocking her with the sight of Potty Prof standing behind Deirdre. The siblings exchanged a quick hug, before Deirdre went inside and Alfendi went to the Mystery Room to work on the cases they had yet to completely catch up on.
The two girls went out for the entire day, not returning until late that evening. They talked, sharing past experiences and telling jokes, finding things they didn't realize they shared in common.
The day before Deirdre had to leave, Alfendi took her out to dinner, wanting to spend the last night with his sister, catching up on everything he'd missed with her while they were apart and when they'd wasted time arguing.
"Deirdre, who," Alfendi's calmer side hesitated, unsure of if she was planning to tell him or not, "who called, a week ago?"
She stared down at her plate, untouched, hands under the table.
"It...it doesn't...," she began, before changing her words, "I'll...I'll tell you later..."
He let out a silent breath, unnoticed to her. He had been hoping she would tell him, or at least give some clue as to who it was.
"Why don't you eat something? I hardly see you eat anything."
"Same for you," she muttered under her breath.
He barely heard her, shocked at the harsh tone of her voice. He switched personalities, hoping she would talk to him more that way. It appeared as though it would work, as she seemed to relax slightly at the change, glancing up at him before looking down again.
"What is going on?" he asked, confused.
She let out a breath. "I just...I don't...want to leave..."
"But why are you acting so...closed off?"
"I...I just...I feel like...if...," she began, trying to create a coherent thought, her eyes welling with tears, "if we're more distanced...it...it won't be as hard...to leave..."
The statement surprised him. He hadn't realized how happy she was to be in London with him once they had reconnected, or that she would miss him just as much as he would miss her when she left.
"Why did you think that?"
"Because...before, we were really close...and then you left...a-and..." She couldn't finish her sentence, trying to take a breath so she wouldn't start crying, though the tears were already filling her eyes, a few beginning to slip down her cheeks.
"I know, and I'm really sorry for that, but...being farther apart doesn't mean leaving will be any easier," he replied.
She took a shaky breath, still trying to stop the tears, answering, "I know..."
"But we can at least text and call each other. You have my phone number, right?"
"I think...from when you called me, when Luce was in the hospital a few nights back."
"So we can still contact each other. You won't be alone when you leave, I'm always here for you."
She glanced up at him, seeing his caring expression and warm smile and letting a small smile spread across her lips, wiping away her tears.
"Thanks, Ally..."
He chuckled. "You still haven't given up on that nickname, have you?"
She laughed, before replying with a smile, "Nope. That'll always be my name for you."
They continued talking and eating, before going back to Alfendi's flat.
Deirdre had to pack, quickly tossing all of her things into her suitcase.
He didn't help her pack, as she said she didn't need any, but was in the room when she did. As she started by going to the bathroom to brush her teeth before packing her toothbrush, he caught a glimpse of a very familiar photograph in a very unfamiliar picture frame.
It was a picture of the two of them, when Deirdre was six. Before he had left, when they were still close, when she would always ask to do things with him. In the picture, they were at the park, and Flora had captured the moment without their knowledge, later giving it to them to keep. Alfendi had intentionally left the picture on her bed the both times he had left, knowing how heartbroken she would be, and she had brought it with her wherever she went.
In the picture, he was tickling her, the two of them laying on the grass. She was laughing, smiling where all her teeth were visible, and he was laughing with her, the two happy without any worries or drama to get in the way.
"You still have the picture," he commented as she walked back into the room.
She glanced in, seeing the photograph. "Oh...yeah, I...I haven't gone anywhere without it," she replied with a sheepish smile, moving to the kitchen to grab a ziplock bag to put her toothbrush in.
"But what happened to the original frame?"
"Oh, I...i-it broke...the glass was shattered and the frame cracked, so I-I bought a new one..."
"How did it break?"
"It...fell..."
He didn't continue to question it, but told her, "I'm glad you kept it."
She seemed to release a breath of relief, before agreeing, "Me too. I'm really glad Flora took it, I really like it." She continued to look at it for a moment before tossing her toothbrush into the suitcase before kneeling to collect some of her clothes to pack into the suitcase.
Reminded of the past, when they were living together before, he asked, "Hey, do you happen to still have the gift I gave you when you were thirteen? The pocketknife?"
She tensed up for a moment, and stopped tossing clothes into the suitcase momentarily.
"Um...no, I...I don't have it anymore," she answered slowly, avoiding looking at him as she continued gathering clothes.
"What happened to it?"
"I-I...lost it," she replied hesitantly, unable to look at him.
"You lost it?" he asked curiously, knowing she didn't lose things easily.
"Mhm," she nodded, biting her lip.
He knew she was lying, but she obviously didn't want to tell him the truth. "If you want, I can get you another one," he offered, unknowing of why she was lying.
She shook her head almost immediately. "No, it's fine. I-I don't need another one, I'm fine," she answered.
"Alright."
They were silent as Deirdre tossed the rest of her clothes into the suitcase before zipping it up. "Done," she stated, letting out a breath as she sat down on her legs on the floor.
"What do you want to do?" Alfendi asked.
"I don't know..." It was silent again, neither one knowing what to say.
"Well you're leaving tomorrow, what time is the flight?"
"Um...," she paused, checking her phone. "Five o'clock. So you would just drop me off around two."
"I can walk you in and wait with you."
"No, I'm okay."
"Can't I at least walk you in?"
"Ally, I'm not a child anymore," she replied with a smile. "I made it here alone, and I'll be fine going back."
"Alright, fine," he conceded with a laugh. "Then what do you want to do before you leave?"
"Umm..." She glanced away, thinking, before realizing something and looking back at him. "How did you get your split personality? I've always meant to ask, just...didn't get around to it till now."
"Oh, it's a long story..."
"Tell me," she insisted eagerly.
He went on to tell her the entire story, including being comatose for several months and being brainwashed by Justin.
"How does that even work?" she asked when he was finished.
"I don't know. But either way it did something, though it didn't work in the long run."
"Yeah..."
"Did anything happen to you that I missed?"
She looked down, slightly laughing in nervousness. "Did anything happen to me?" she repeated, her eyebrows raising, before lowering as she continuing, "Yeah...a lot of stuff."
"What happened?"
"Well you already know about the memory gaps..."
"What else?"
She thought through what had happened after he had left.
"What happened to your wrists?" he asked suddenly, not waiting for an answer to his previous question.
"Huh?" she asked, glancing down at them. "Oh...nothing."
"Why do you wear gloves? You never used to."
"I just...like them," she answered, looking away as she spoke. "I dunno."
"But before when I grabbed your wrist, you nearly started crying."
She vaguely remembered the event, when the two of them were discussing something outside of the Mystery Room. "It was just...sensitive."
"Why?"
She was silent for a moment, before answering slowly. "So...back in California...after you left...there was an incident. I hurt my wrist really badly, and was in the hospital for a few weeks because of it."
"What happened?"
"I...can't talk about it."
He didn't continue asking, instead changing the subject. "It's almost eight o'clock, if you want to do something we should do it now."
She looked up, glancing out the window to see it was dark, suddenly remembering the last time she was out alone in the dark, the occasion having already been in her mind.
She bit her lip, holding back her sobs until she felt the skin break and tasted blood. A cry escaped from her lips as more memories came to mind and she pulled her knees in front of her, burying her head in her arms, crying.
"Deirdre? What's wrong?" Alfendi asked, not knowing what had just happened. He knelt by his sister, sitting next to her and wrapping his arm around her, letting her lean on him.
Her crying seemed to lessen when he wrapped his arm around her, the gesture comforting her, somewhat pulling her back into reality.
"What's wrong, Deirdre?" he asked.
She wiped away her tears, looking down. "I just...was reminded of stuff..."
"What stuff?"
"Just...things from California...after you left...it's nothing."
"If you were crying, it's not nothing."
"I know...but I don't want to talk about it."
"It'll help," he told her, wanting to know why she was crying.
"I mean...I've talked about it before, just...I don't want to tell you about it...yet... I will, though...just not now."
She glanced up slightly, and Alfendi saw the blood on her lip.
"Your lip is bleeding," he noted.
She nodded, acknowledging the fact but not doing anything, trying to ignore the reminder.
He removed his arm from around her and stood, walking down the hall. She glanced up, seeing him leave, her eyes filling with tears as she couldn't ignore the blood welling from the cut on her lip, a drop slipping down and dripping off her chin and onto her hand, reminding her too closely of a past event.
He returned with a damp washcloth, sitting beside her again. "Let me remove the blood, Deirdre."
He tilted her head up enough so he could wipe off the blood, before placing the cloth on the coffee table. He knew why it was bleeding —she had a tendency to bite her lip to stop from crying, sometimes hard enough that it started bleeding —just like this time. It wasn't a surprise, but he still couldn't tell why she was crying at all.
"Why don't you want to tell me what happened?"
"I just...don't know how you'll react and...I don't want to know right now..."
He wanted to know what had happened, but didn't want to force her to talk about it if she didn't want to, and she planned to tell him at some point, so he simply responded with, "Alright."
They were silent again, until Deirdre's phone buzzed. She pulled it out, glancing at it, before saying, "Oh...I actually have to be there earlier tomorrow...before twelve."
"Why?"
"I...just...I read it wrong...," she answered slowly, not looking at him. "The flight leaves at two, not later like I thought."
"Then what was the message?"
"It was, um...a reminder. To pack."
"At eight thirty?"
"Well, it's earlier in California..."
He could tell she was lying, but didn't point it out, letting it pass.
The next day he drove her to the airport, dropping her off at the front as she requested. As he pulled her luggage from the car, she wrapped him in a hug and hugged him tightly, and he returned it with a smile.
"I-I'm gonna miss you..."
"Me too." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, making her smile, and as she stepped away from him, she wiped away tears that had formed.
"I-I'll see you soon, right?"
"Yes, and call me when you land."
She nodded, "I will. See you later."
"See you." She turned and walked towards the building, carrying her suitcase as he drove off, driving back to the Mystery Room.